Wevowushon

FractalFluff, December 10, 2013; 08:48 / FB 15288
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"An so we can see," the orange unicorn was saying, "dat whiwe ouw tweatment at da hans of da 'hugbox' hoomins miwte be supaficiawwy supewiow to what we enduwe at da hans of da 'aboosew' hoomins, neifew can be said to be ouw fweinds. Da fowmew can be seen as activewy efil, whiwe da wattew is amowaw."

His audience shuffled and fidgeted. "Wha smawty fwen' sa?" "Wan make poopies." "Dis bowin." "Speshaw hugs?"

"Once agaiwn, we can see dat da hoomins' technowogicaw knowwedge has outstwipped deah efficaw an mowaw devewopmen'."

"Tickew-wah?" "Hehheh. Smawty sa 'stwip.' Hehhehhehheh." "Wan make poopies."

The smarty ignored the interruption. Shaking his black mane out of his eyes, he  continued: "Dea has nevaw been anyfin wike us fwuffies pweviouswy, an hoomins not no how bes to wespon' to ouw cweation. At wowst, dey aw wantonwy destwuctive; at best, patewnawistic an' infantiwizin."

"Smawtie use wong wowdies." "Fwuffy gu fin' nummies." "Heheh. Smawty sa 'wantown.' Hehhehhehheh."

"Wha den is bes fow fwuffies, inna finaw anawyis? To submit to da hoomin in exchange fow de howwow wewawds of sewvitude? To wifdwaw to da fwinges an wif as fewaws? Ow shouwd we wise up against ow' hoomin ovewwowds, deman' wepwesentation as de wivvin, awtonomous beins dat we twuwy awe?"

"Heheh. Smawty sa 'anaw.' Hehhehhehheh."

"Fwends, fwuffy sa to yu dat we mus' no wongew submit to da wiww of da hoomins! We fite da hoomin! Webew against ow' fowmuh ownews--"

"Smawty fwen' nu say dat!"

"Wha' smawty fwen sa?"

"Sa fwuffies must gif biggest owwies an wongest sweepies to hoomin mummahs an hoomin daddahs!"

"Nuuuu! Bad smawty!"

"Fwends! Pwease considew — the vewy titews of "mummeh" an "daddeh" dat we bestow on hoomins awe evidence of —"

"Sunbeam nu wan' huwt mummeh! Is gud hoomin, gif huggies! Gif sketties!"

"Hawowd nefuh huwt mummah!"

"Wiwac nu huwt daddah neefew! Is bestes daddah!"

"Sunbeam, yu mummah kick yu an bweak weggie! Hawowd! Yu mummah fix yu spechaw wumps an now yu no mowe gif bbbehs! Wiwac, yu daddeh took yu babbehs an gif to stwangews! Yu cwy for weeks!"

"Weggie?"

"Wha babbehs? Wiwac nu membew nuffin bout nu babbehs. Dummeh smawty!"

"Nu no what mean. Hawowd speshuw fwend haf Hawowd babbehs, wite, Cwementine?"

"Uhhh... suwe, Hawowd! Dey yu babbehs."

"Yeah, smawty am dummeh! Sa meanie wowds, be bad smawteh!"

"BIGGES' OWWIES!"

After kicking the smarty friend to death, the putative revolutionary army got in a fight over an apple, then forgot what it was doing and wandered into traffic. The human dictatorship was spared, at least until its next attack of technological irresponsibility.

"Heheh. Fwactawfwuff wite 'dick.' Hehhehhehheh."

Shut up.