My Future as a Speedrunner

My Future As A Speedrunner

If you've watched me lately, you can tell I can't seem to make up my mind on what I want to do.

I've grown bored of Gran Turismo runs, seeing as though no one is doing runs, or even learning, other than me. My times aren't getting beat, and there's nothing left for me to do. This has sucked all the motivation out of me. It seems that whatever game I run, either people stop running it or no one runs it. I'm left alone for what I do.

I need something to keep me going, and it can't be driving games, since there is only 2 I'd even want to run that I don't own (Rage Racer, Destruction Derby Raw).

I've noticed that any game that isn't Gran Turismo I stream, I get less than 5 viewers. I don't know what I did to, either, offend or alienate my followers, but people just don't care about my stream. And, when I run a new game, I lose the audience from the previous, forever. I've only been thinking about this, since my 2 year stream anniversary is coming up next month (don't know the exact day), and I still can't hold double digit viewers. I understand not everyone can watch all the time, but when I get 0 viewers for over an hour, per stream, it makes me feel like a failure, and streaming is just a waste of time. Just because I don't stream for 8 hours a day, it doesn't mean I don't put the hard work in. For as much as I stream, and how long I've been going, I'm 100% sure I'm the lowest of the low.

I know there are a few people who like watching me, and I know they won't get upset at the above, since they actually watch and like the stream, and understand where I'm coming from.

I hate feeling this way, because streaming is supposed to be fun. I'm not looking to get a sub button or anything. Just want to make this worth doing. If no one watches, I might as well do everything offline. It's not fun talking to myself.

And, don't take this as, I'm going to do something "for the viewers." I've never been that kind of streamer, and I won't become that. I do what I like doing.

If I'm going to continue streaming, I need something to keep me motivated. In previous pastebins, I listed games I want to learn. I think it's time to start on one of those.

Klonoa: Door to Phantomile

Learning a new game is one thing, but learning a new genre of game is another. I've been running driving games for 2 years, so platformers are very new to me. I'm terrible at platformers, so this will take a while to get used to. Klonoa is simple, short, and I like it a lot. I was going to do Crash 3 105%, but for the hour I tried, it was overwhelming.

I'm going to put as much work and time it takes to learn this. I sincerely hope you all will keep me going along the way.

I have a doctor's appointment on the 25th, so hopefully my breathing will get diagnosed. The thing is, the day after is my 24th birthday. So, I don't know, at all, if I will be free to stream. That depends on the doctor. I could also be free, but wake up pissed off at myself for being a failure of a person, and not want to do anything. If there is a stream, don't expect it to be very long. I don't understand how anyone would want to do a 24 hour stream for their birthday, unless they were getting a massive pay day. I want to sleep, eat, watch wrestling, and buy dumb things I don't need.

Thanks for reading.