Jolly The Ponebot

Jul 7th, 2018
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  1. How about a piratted pone? Jolly Roger was my first pick but she's a lady...
  3. >Be homeless, living in a small community of people in similar circumstances in the storm tunnels
  4. >under the big city. You'd formerly worked as a tech fixing personal assistance robots but had been
  5. >muscled out by H1B labor. At least you'd trained your replacement to stick forks in outlets first.
  6. >Your zone consists of a stocked toolbox, a bedroll and some festive light strings and batteries for light
  7. >Be jealous of the city folks above, followed by or chatting with their service bots of various form
  8. >You know what you want, though. And one day you spot one. A toy Buttercup pony. One of the famously
  9. >creepy, full-size plastic ponies doting fathers bought for their spoiled daughters in lieu of a real one.
  10. >You nab it from the dumpster it's sticking out of, retreating back down into your fetid lair.
  13. >Weeks pass as you gather parts. Four power window motors from abandoned cars. Other small motors.
  14. >A couple of web-cams. Some computer bits, a working drive, a main control board for a tolerably advanced bot,
  15. >a couple of the newer graphine-lithium power packs for electric bikes- You figured the owners
  16. >could do with a bit of extra exercise anyhow and you needed them more.
  17. >Your work doesn't interest your companions, but consumes your time totally. The final touch
  18. >is torrenting the latest open-source compile of a quadruped OS with a "Cute Pet Pony" overlay to
  19. >a POS laptop from an open wifi. That took several days more.
  20. >At last the moment of truth. The horrifying looking skeleton, bedecked in old nuts and bolts and
  21. >hinges and motors and everything else stands before you in the dim, multicolored light.
  24. >You snap one battery pack onto one ass-cheek hipbone, then the other.
  25. >You throw the switch.
  26. >A few LEDs throughout the works light up, along with the tiny screen atop the brain-board.
  27. >It's loading off it's chip-drive, then whirls up it's main.
  28. >The naked eyeballs, each sporting an oversize camera lens, sweep around, gazing finally on you.
  29. >"GENDER?" it asks, in monotone. You're used to the bios setup on these by now.
  30. Female.
  31. >"NAME?"
  32. Jolly Twinkles.
  33. >you tell it, having decided on that while gazing at it's mangy, pre-modified form. It was ironic
  34. >and perfect for it. "OWNER NAME?"
  35. Anon.
  37. General Purpose.
  41. >You watch with interest and no small bit of concern as the pony-bot begins a series of twitches
  42. >and shudders, turning it's head oddly, picking up and dropping feet, whisking it's horrid plastic
  43. >whip of a tail. Finally it announces, "TESTS OK. LAUNCHING PERSONALITY."
  44. >clicks and whirs from the drive ensue. Then the abomination announces, "Hi! I'm Jolly Twinkles!
  45. >Will you be my friend?"
  46. Absolutely. Let me just dress you back in your fur.
  47. >You pull it's mangy-looking furry cloth "skin" back over it, snapping the snaps as you go.
  48. >Finally it's done, except for one thing.
  49. >You strap on a funky "saddle" you'd made for it, carrying a solar panel you'd liberated off
  50. >a bus-stop some months back, and plug the lead into a hole in the pony's coat just under the
  51. >panel.
  52. That'll keep you going. Try to stand in direct sunlight whenever possible.
  53. >"I understand, Anon Master."
  56. >While your new friend has oddly slow-moving facial expressions and makes alot of noise when
  57. >she walks, you feel alot more comfortable out in the press of bodies of society. Having a
  58. >personal robot meant you were someone again, even if she was odd looking. She even
  59. >gets some admiring glances from folks who realize what she really is- And what it took to
  60. >create her. As for Jolly herself, she understands on some level that whatever she is, she's
  61. >happy to be out and being useful rather than just more landfill.
  62. >One day, you're eating an almost perfect burger you found while sitting on a bench in the
  63. >park. A man sits down next to you, reading a paper. Jolly struts past, dropping another news
  64. >paper onto the bench by you. It's got a bit of guck on it but it's readable, so you begin to
  65. >open it up.
  68. >"Is that yours?" the man asks, gesturing to Jolly.
  69. Sure is, built 'er myself.
  70. >"Really. You live around here?"
  71. Under here actually. I'm downwardly mobile ya see. I drift. A free spirit-
  72. >"You got muscled out of your tech job by someone willing to work for one tenth a living wage?"
  73. Yes that too.
  74. >"Tell ya what. I've been fairly successful lately, and I've been looking for someone who
  75. >understands how to make custom machines on a budget. How would you like..."
  76. >Time passes
  79. >"Time to get up, Anon Master!" Jolly scolds, poking you with her furry but hard plastic
  80. >muzzle.
  81. Thanks Jolly.
  82. >"Breakfast is on the table. Boss Master wanted you up at least by noon, he has more designs
  83. >to go over with you."
  84. Thanks, Jolly, let me just get dressed and I'll be out to eat.
  85. >"Yes Anon Master."
  86. >You watch her as she walks away, motors whirring. Living in a guest house on a large estate
  87. >was turning out pretty nice- Along with being able to build projects of your own in between
  88. >those your host asked of you. But Jolly would forever remain your favorite.
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