Thread 12: Stories 91-105

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

At the center of a wide, dusty arena pit, it’s top caged off from the spectators with lattice of iron, two combatants took in the familiar setting.

“Ho, feeling nostalgic, were we?” Spike commented with a smile while checking over his munition supplies.

Applejack 42 just laughed it off while checking her brass knuckles. “Don’t look at me, idiot, the simulator quote-unquote randomly chose this as our fighting arena. I bet Twilight had something to do with it myself.”

Spike then took a moment to look around the arena, as sad look pulling on his expression. “It was here I started to think: maybe I wasn’t making the right choices.”

“A lot honestly happened here for everyone involved. We all made mistakes, we still do. The more important thing is: now that we’re here again, what choices will we make now?”

Spike just smiled at 42 and holstered Charity to extend a hand to 42 which she took, the two comrades in arms shook in a gesture of both affection and respect, realizing in a strange way how close fighting had originally brought them.

“For my choice now?” Spike echoed then looked at the crowds around them, including a moody Chrysalis demanding ‘A fight, not an after-school special’. “I say we make this a match to remember.”

42’s own smile widened. “I couldn’t agree more.” She took this as a chance to grab hold of the Spike’s hand of hospitality, vault half-way over and attempt an arm break only for Spike to instead roll under her then kick off and away against her chest, sending them both skidding to opposite sides of the arena.

Their smiles still held.

HEAVEN OR HELL!

“Ready?”

DUEL: FINAL!

“BEGIN!”

LET'S ROCK!

Spike and 42 then charged at one another, the gap between them rapidly closing until their fist and hoof met in the center.

As Spike rolled backwards, away from 42, he rubbed his sore knuckles briefly grumbled. “Dragon or not, punching barehanded against someone with brass shoes as dumb of me- Yikes!” Spike narrowly avoided the sharp end of a knife flying through the air, followed by another and another, the flechette storm coming from a seemingly dancing 42 who spun with each new salvo.

“You’re really trying to play me at the ranged game?” Spike asked with a smirk in half applause of 42’s audacity. “Okay, then, throw your worst at me.” And then what had seemed like just some large, thrown blades unfolded into massive throwing stars which made the noise of spinning sawblades as they came towards Spike.

“And that would be it.” He mused and proceeded to shoot each of the massive and intimidating projectiles out of the way, only for 42 to appear right behind them and push Spike’s arm out of the way to keep Charity out of the picture as she came down on top of Spike can slugged him twice in the face.

Before the third punch, Spike dropped his gun and grabbed the obstructing foreleg and swung himself in for an armbar, when 42 rolled backwards out of the lock, she yelped and nearly botched her landing when she felt claws briefly pierce her retreating rear.

“Did you really just kick my ass?!” 42 screamed once she came back to all fours and glared down Spike who was still wearing a rather cruel grin reserved for the DnD games.

“Well, feel this match is settled then?”

42 leapt forward. “Not by a long shot!”

Imagine her surprise when Spike called Charity back into his hands and fired, a short burst of wingpower being the only thing keeping the match from ending then and there. Evading a few of the ‘magic shots’ from the revolver, she closed her distance and spun in the air to buck Spike right in the face.

The force of the attack sent the dragon tumbling end over end until he crashed into the walls of the arena with enough force to crack them.

“Now who’s ass has been kic-...” 42’s banter trailed off as she hear a whirring noise and noticed the kickup of sand going towards Spike and chanced a glance at her leg to see the grappling iron latched into one of the holes of her hooves. “Uh, oh…” She muttered the moment the line tugged and dragged her towards the dragon.

Spike had recovered fast enough to attempt pot shots on 42 as she was reeled in, only for her to rapidly throw herself side to side to evade until she could take advantage of the pull to set herself up for another charging strike. The moment she was in range though and the line finished retracting, Spike then fired out the line again, the force just enough to spin 42 in place and for Spike to level his gun on her.

Reacting quickly, 42 snatched the cable and yanked Charity from Spike’s grip and used it as an improvised flail to smack Spike in the face. Spike attempted to recall the gun into his hands only for cable line to now be used against it.

“Not this time.” 42 taunted. “You wanna be big man, little boy? Fight me like a man.”

“I prefer fighting intelligently, thank you.” Spike responded and kicked a wave of sand into 42’s face, followed with a burst of flame from his lips. 42 rolled to the side of the distractions though and lashed out with her new flail and threw out some more knives to keep Spike’s focus off of recalling it. 42’s distraction force Spike at a range he no longer held the advantage in.

After some quick thinking, Spike shouted across the arena. “Hey, 42, how much do you weigh?”

“More than your scale and boney ass, shortstop.” 42 replied and blinked when Spike just smiled.

“Good!” Holding how his hand, he began to recall Charity to his grip, but when 42 fought the pull and Spike leapt forward, he ended up being the one pulled through the air and positioned himself for a flying drop kick.

42’s remaining throwing knives either missed or glanced off of Spike’s scales with only one embedding into his tail. He paid no mind to it.

The moment he seized his gun he began to reel 42 into his attack, removing her ability to aim properly.

42 parried his drop kick and knocked the gun out of the way and her hoof collided with his fist, followed by a kick meeting a kick, and finally 42 blasting a shot of magic to touch off Spike’s explosive round, the resulting blast sending in opposite directions where they rolled back into standing.

Spike loosed another salvo of bullets to meet each of 42’s magic blast kicking up another cloud of dust that left both blind but unshaken.

“So why did you bother with the knives earlier and not just use the lasers?” Spike called from his side of the ring.

42 was quick to shout back: “Because contrary to what everyone thinks, I do a lot more than hitting things. I’m actually filled enough enough talents even I forget them sometimes.”

“In otherwords: you were conserving your magical energy for later?” Spike asked and looked over Charity and his ammo reserves.

“Yep, and seems like the magic shots on that gun are limited too.” 42 called back and slip out from the grappling hook’s grasp and walk calmly towards Spike.

“Yep, you got me, so is that offer to fight like men still open?” He asked as he let Charity fall out from his grasp and clatter onto the sandy floors.

42 chuckled and slipped off her horseshoes. “Wouldn’t know about fighting like a ‘man’ per-say myself, and judging by the pink apron I was told about, neither do you.”

“Cheap shot there, 42.” Spike chuckled himself.

At last, the two met in the center, their faces still split with a twisted smiles infused with a sadomasochistic pleasure and an affable, almost affectionate, friendliness towards one another. Their heads smashed against one another, their grins still held.

“Cheapshot, true, but I am proud of you, my student, that you want to finish this fight with what I’ve taught you. Even if it is suicide!” 42 then snapped her head up to push Spike’s back, wheeled around and delivered a full buck to his chest and then watched in amazement as Spike caught her legs and flipped onto her back.

42 though just smirked and began to wildly buck, rear, and spin wildly, briefly even imitating applejack’s voice. “This isn’t my first rodeo, lover-BOY!” She yelped and lost the disguise when she felt Spike’s hand smack her on the rear.

“Not mine either!” He taunted right back and began smacking 42 from her back, each attempt 42 made to fly was blocked by him squeezing his legs against her wings.

Finally, Spike swipped 42’s helmet from her head and placed it on his.

“Fits like a glove!”

“You did NOT!”

The remainder of 42’s magic was spent exploding in a violent nova of green energy that dislodged Spike and sent him tumbling to the dirt, by the time Spike looked up, 42 was already on top of him.

“GIVE THAT BACK!” She shouted and began to unleash a flurry of punches.

Spike’s reflexes honed, her matched each punch and grinned. “Come and get it!”

This endless clash of strikes lasted for all of two seconds until each’s arm slid off the other and connected against their opponent’s skulls, from somewhere in the audience Shining Armor could be heard screaming in shock “CROSS COUNTER?!”

Emerald flames lit up in 42’s eyes as she then dropped deeper into her stance and over the space of an inch, managed the force of a boulder in freefall, knocking Spike away and snatching her spinning helmet from the air to replace it on her head.

“Much better!” 42 sighed with relief in time for Spike to come out of the blew with a flying axe-kick to 42’s newly protected neck.

Riding the force of the attack, 42 bent at the knees and then deflected Spike’s hammerfist with her own foreleg and slammed into his jaw with an uppercut, immediately followed with a headbutt to the chin. Rearing up in an instant, 42 had prepared to stomp Spike into the ground only for him to slip between her hooved and use her falling momentum to let a claw strike her in the throat.

Her defenses being overrun, 42 took a desperate gamble and lunged for Spike. Wrapping her forelegs around him and then taking to the air, she desperately ignored him punching her face and breathing fire into it, instead focusing on putting as much power as she could into her skyward lunge and finally.

BAM!

Spike’s assault had stopped when he head slammed hard against the iron grate over the arena pit with enough force to bend the metal. Taking advantage of this momentary dazy, she then flips both of them over, kicks off the ceiling, and spins fast into her dive to keep him dizzy and disoriented.

For the briefest of moments, 42 opens her eyes and looked up (or down) to see a slightly woozy Spike give her a congratulatory smile and thumbs up the moment before they impacted with the floor. The sand had softened much of the blow for Spike’s head, but the spinning resulted in his neck snapping with an audible crack that resonated throughout the arena.

42 herself slumped into a heap with Spike shortly after and with slow agony, pulled herself up.

“Well I’ll be damned…” She wheezed. “You can win a fight with hugs…” she muttered beneath her breath, drowned out by the din of the roaring crowds which suddenly silenced when Spike’s body shifted.

Spike slowly pulled himself up to his feet, his head tilted at an unnatural angle and bone sticking through his own scaled.

“Good fight.” Spike croaked out and fell to the ground once again.

The simulation washed away leaving both combatants with all of the pain and none of the actual lethality. Spike and 42 were then swept up into the arms of the cheering crowds, and as they were lifted above, the two looked to eachother with exhausted smiled and tapped fist to hoof.

And the winner is: APPLEJACK 42!

AUTHOR NOTES

Fun facts:
>I had decided while ago for 42 to win once 77 was defeated, mostly by virtue
>I wanted the battle to end in an unarmed match so Spike could show off what he learned
>I tried to keep it lighthearted since I felt the match between 42 and Spike would be sort of how they bond as friends. While all the other fights were about proving something, and in DT's case, revenge, this was two friends who knew the only way they could show they were friends was to not pull their punches
>I considered working in more spectator commentary but opted against it as it felt it would distract from the fight.
>I pulled the "charity can run out of even magic bullets" thing out of my ass both to let Charity not feel so overpowered in these situations, and to further justify Spike setting it aside for a fistfight with 42.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"Pommel"
'Flim'
-Flam-

The rattle and slam of the dungeon door wrenches 32 from his slumber, the scarred and battered changeling yawns as he rolls out of bed, shaking away the cobwebs in his mind.

"Up up up, fillies and gentlecolts, another fulfilling day of waiting out your sentences! My name is Pommel, I'll be your guard today, our special this morning is something marginally more edible than Princess Cadence's cooking!"

A tray of some kind of gravy (?) and a biscuit slid through

>Good morning, Pommel.

"Morning, you guys sleep well?"

'The gall of that question!'

-The nerve!-

'These beds might as well be made of nails!'

-I rolled off mine! Twice!-

>I slept quite well, thank you. Any news of the world outside our prison bars?

"Hm? Oh, well the Gun Club have been having a tournament in Princess Sparkle's-"

Pommel looks around before continuing.

"-Danger Room in order to see who's the best."

>Gun Club?

"77, 42, some crazy filly from Ponyville, and Spike. They're some kinda crazy weapon enthusiast outfit, helped save Equestria during the robot invasion. It sounds like 42 and Spike are the last two standing."

>Hm...an interesting turn of events.

"From what I've heard two of the fights-Twilight and that Changeling who eats potatoes had one too-ended pretty bloodily. Good thing it's all a simulation in there."

'Duels to the death!?'

-Savagery!-

'And we're the ones in chains!'

>Please be quiet. I'd like to meet these compatriots of my brother's some time, they sound like nice fellows...or psychotic maniacs, it would be a nice conversation either way.

"I'll...see what I can do, now about your story."

>I'll continue it after I finish this...delicious meal.

'You are far too kind to this swill!'

-I remember the old days, on the road, do you brother?-

"A glass of cider every night and a mare under every arm, that was the life!"

32 tucked into his food as the two brothers continued to ramble on.

>Eh, I've had worse.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Chrysalis"
'Various Changelings'
~~~

>You see the shit Ah' have ta' put up with?

"What? It just looks like they're having fun."

'This is so, so stupid.'

'You are botching your lines!'

'Why am I dressed up like this?'

'Oh, did you forget what we were doing again? Don't worry, happens to me all the time. You're being our pretend date so we can all go practice and get marefriends and or coltfriends! That is the specific reason you are in the dress.'

'With a little bow on my head.'

'That too.'

'You know I'm male, right?'

'It's just pretend! You don't HAVE to sleep with anyone!... I mean, I don't think they'll argue or anything, but that's strictly your call on the matter.'

'I mean, why aren't we using one of the females for this?'

'They said something about sexism.'

'But there's a male on their practice side!'

'They mentioned sexism a LOT.'

'Seriously, this is stupid! I don't know how a female is going to act! I don't know how most MALES act!'

'Stick to the script!'

'It just says 'mouth stuff' on it!'

'...'

'...FUCK YOU!'

'Hey! Whoa! Let's take it slow here, it's only the first date.'

'ARRRRGGGH!'

"...Noooot seeing the problem."

>You wouldn't, would ya'?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Celestia'
[???]
~~~

>This is never going to work.

"It'll work!"

'You just have to believe it'll work, and it will.'

"See that, Shiny? That's enthusiasm. Be more like her."

>I'm normally very enthusiastic about dressing up in costumes, it's fun, but I just have to voice my concerns. I just don't think this superhero thing is going to work.

'Oh, don't be a spoilsport.'

>Why are we doing this in the Empire anyway? My crime rate is insanely low. You know how low my crime rate is? My guards think it's an exciting day when someone forgets their change. These ponies were bound together as slaves for years with each other, they're not exactly going to start robbing one another.

'Well, we can't do it in Canterlot, who knows what kind of collateral damage we can cause!'

>Well, that's a bad sinking feeling.

"HARK! Evildoers!"

>Where?

"Right here, I guess. I actually think us standing up on this building is illegal."

'Also, pretty sure your costume is violating several public indecency laws.'

"Yeah, probably... Damn, this place is dull."

'I just saw someone bump a cart- oh, no... nevermind, she apologized.'

"There's a changeling, maybe they're up to something?"

>If by up to something, you mean trying not to be noticed because she can't handle social situations, yeah. She's up to something. By the way, aren't we all pretty much superheroes anyway? Superpowers, fight evil, distinct look, team mates...

"Ehhh, I only fought 'evil' like, once."

'I'm more mentor than evil-fighter.'

[AAAHHHHAHAHAH! SO, you've followed me to-]

>We're just posing, Mane-iac, we're not the comic guys.

[...DON'T PLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT! I was seriously about to start chucking carts!]

"Sorry Maney! Just thought it would be fun but it's not as exciting as I pictured."

[Because you FOOLISH HEROES ARE- no damn it stop they're just pretending! Bad super-villain!]

>Sorry!

"...You know, we COULD-"

'We are not exploiting a mental illness for a quick battle.'

"You suck."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Dadling
"Bat-mom"
'Store pony'
~~~

>Is this acid proof?

'...I beg your pardon?'

"Acid proof?"

>Yeah, the stroller, is it acid proof? I don't see an acid proof tag, but they might just think you would assume.

"Why would this need to be acid proof? Do you guys shoot acid as babies?"

>I don't know, maybe? Why would that be an issue?

'No, this stroller is not acid proof.'

>Wow, that's unsafe.

"Unsafe?"

>Yeah, what happens if someone throws acid on it?

'Not from you, just acid in general.'

>Exactly! Why does everyone have to complicate things?

'Ohhhhh...'

"Oh?"

'He's one of THOSE types. Okay.'

"...Say that again."

'Hold up, I've got this.'

*DOOK-DOOK!*

The wall behind them rose up, revealing more strollers, carriers and bottles... military grade strollers, carriers and bottlers, to be more precise.

>That's what I'm talking about!

"Oh!... you meant-"

'Yeeeep. See em' all the time.'

>Honey look, this one can take an explosion of five hundred pounds per square inch!... and it has a cup holder!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"42"
~~~~~
"Man, that was a hell of a fight, yesterday, I'm still sore. Kid's learned a lot, makes me consider calling off. Nah! Hey, Spike, ready for more-... That's a lot of bits."

>Eeyup.

"Where'd you get them?

>See, here's the thing, 42, I've learned I can't win at everything, I mean I don't know for certain what I'll win and lose, and I naturally try everything in my power to win anyway. Following me?

"Yahuh."

>So, I figured either I would beat you, have all the glory and personal sense of accomplishment of defeating you in combat.

"Ooor... You win a shitton of a money from betting against yourself."

>Bingo.

"... So what would happened to that money if you did win?"

>All the princesses would have been out of their cake budget for the next six months and I would have lost nothing.

"Spike, you magnificent bastard, you should write a book."

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Celestia
"Chrysalis"
~~

>You can stop glaring at any time.

"Do you HAVE to keep barging in here-"

>HAH!

"..."

>...Sorry, continue.

"...Barging in here and bitching at Shiny? You seriously kill my zone every time you start ranting. I could be in full on snappy mode, shooting off barbs like I was a porcupine stuck in a machine gun, and then BLAM! You start bitching about appleass or stupid ponies or your sister being useless for politics or just how annoyed you are, and my zone is dead. It is dead and you killed it with your bitch-bullets. Bitchbitchbitchbitchdead. Execution style."

>You can just say 'I'm jealous Shiny is so attentive to you' you know.

"Right, that's my issue. Because obviously he doesn't pay attention to me all the time. I'm just so easy to miss when my ass is taking up a solid 80 percent of his vision."

>...Have you ever tried just voicing it?

"What?"

>Instead of this weird roundabout venting you do, did you ever try just telling him when you're feeling annoyed at something stupid? He knows, he can tell pretty easily and lets you rope him into these dumb gags.

"I'm not venting, I'm just having fun. It's what I do."

>I'm just going off his word, I honestly can never tell when you're mad at something more than usual, and I guess your minions can't either, but have you ever tried just SAYING it to him? 18 does it all the time, and she's happier for it. He has to pry it from 42, but she says it. Lord knows he doesn't have to do anything special to get it from Cadence, she'll cry about the sky being the wrong shade of two-

"Don't you start with that shit."

>-but you just do your own little things, and he has to be creative to make you feel better. Why?

"...Go home, Celestia."

>I'm just trying to-

"Go. Home."

>...

"..."

>I'll be back tomorrow.

"Fine, not my business. Just try to keep the ranting at a minimum when I'm in my little happy mode."

>If you insist.

With a spark of magic, the portal opened and she left.

"...Damn it."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Luna"
~~~~

"Our fellow Princess of Agriculture and other miscellaneous things of no note, we have an inquiry!"

>Please tell me that's not mah official title.

"We were wondering if thou art feeling more irate recently than normal."

>Do ya' mean in these last few minutes? Cause yer' spot on iffin' ya' do.

"Neigh! We mean in general. We have noticed a great many of thine dreams have a more angered and spiteful vent, particularly of you watching as the sun is crashing upon the ground."

>Ah' thought we agreed no more dream walkin'?

"We took your request into consideration, and found it without merit. To the topic at hand, does thou wish to speak more of the matter?"

>Why are ya' askin' now? Ah'm pretty sure Ah've had these dreams since the stress kicked in five minutes inta' the job.

"You have recently gone above the Celestia-threshold!"

>The what?

"Tis' the measurement we use to decide whether or not to assist directly. If a fellow royal should exceed the stress level of our sister's dreams, we act!"

>Huh. How often do ya' do this?

"Never! This is the first time we've had to act. Why do you think we chose our sister of all ponies? None are more irritated than her... normally. But you are the first to raise above her, ever! Congratulations!"

>...Yay.

"So, are thou more bothered than normal?"

>Well, fine. Yes. Ah'm a little more stressed out than normal.

"Ah hah! We knew it!"

With that, she turns to leave.

>...Where are ya' goin'?

"Hm? Oh, we are off to get moonpie cake. Did thou want some?"

>...

"Well, get thine own! Your infernal slashing of our cake budget has left us savoring every crumb."

>Nothin' else ya' wanted ta' say?

"Nope! Good day, Applejack!"

So pleased with herself, she skipped out.

>...huh.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Cadence"
~~

>...Alright, do you want to say it, or should I?

"Together?"

>Together.

>"This is SO WEIRD."

>Right?

"A beautiful restaurant."

>Great food.

"Amazing atmosphere."

>And NOBODY ELSE but us. No Sombra floating about wanting to play a game.

"No Two begging for attention."

>No 18 hounding us to sign this or that.

"No 42 trying to 'bodyguard' us or talking about our army."

>No Chrysalis bugging us.

"No Celestia trying to spend time with us."

>Just us.

"Alone. Together."

>"...and it feels SO WEIRD."

"Have we actually become dependent on them?"

>It does kind of feel like they're the extended cast to our sitcom, doesn't it?

"...Are we... are we more interesting now?"

>Were we all that interesting before?

"You know, I don't think so. We were pretty boring before they arrived."

>Little one note, yeah.

"...Pay the bill, get this food to go and go pop in some movie to watch on the couch?"

>We've got to order the marchmalley-, I mean the MARSHMALLOW brownie before we do.

"Oooh, Two will love that! Oh! We've also got to get this 'worlds hottest pepper' wrap too."

>I'll make sure to put your name on it so she makes a bee line for it.

"HAH! Her expression is going to be priceless!... Oh my, things have changed, haven't they?"

>Mmmm, mostly. But only mostly.

"Oh?"

>Yep. No matter how big our cast gets...

Swift as the wind, before she could react, he kissed her right on the lips.

>How much I love you will never change.

"Ooooh, Shiny..."

>Come on, let's go pop in that new animated pirate movie and see how long it is before Chrysalis goes bananas.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"Zecora"
~~

>I'm on to yoooou! Don't think that just because I was forced here that I'm not suspicious of-

"I seek to help you spiritually with no concern for your wallet, though I could easily take it and you have no way to stall it."

>...Where are we walking, anyway?

"To a place within the forest I have prepared, a place where the souls that haunt can be ensnared."

>Whoa! Hey! I don't want to hurt them. They're annoying, sure, but they-

"Are but children at heart, you are correct. But have no fear, their spiritual forms I will only inspect."

They came to a stop just before the top of a hill. A large circle, one that could easily fit a medium sized house, was carved in just near the top. Upon closer inspection, the ring was not a simple carving, but intricate and tightly woven markings of a nature even 29 had never seen before.

"Step beyond this circle within this field, and a potential answer shall be revealed."

>...Just walk in this ring? I'm not going to get dragged into hell or something, am I?

"Most likely no, to hell you will not go."

>...Kay, juuuust going to... do this slowly...

"This wimpy nature must at once stop! I have no time to wait for your balls to drop."

>HEY! PUT ME DOWN!

"In you go! So that I can know..."

>...wow.

The instant he had been chucked violently into the circle, it suddenly became very apparent that they might need a bigger hill.

"...huh..."

>...That is a LOT of dead children. Orphan children, now that I think about it.

"....Huh...."

>Soooo... any input on this? I mean... It's nice that I can actually see them and all, buuuut... not sure how this is going to help.

"......HUH...."

>Zebra Lady? You okay?

"Remain with your hangers on and let them have their fun, I need to consider who I am going to bring in for help on this one. This problem that you described is not what I thought, even I do not know what you may have accidentally wrought."

>Am I going to die?

"Probably."

>No rhyme?

"..."

>...Shit.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"AJ"
'Rarity'
[Twi]
{DT}
-PJ-
~~~~
>So, I invited you all here because I wanted to formally apologize about the Gala Fiasco-

[FUCK YOU!]

>And let you all know that I've found something in the Noble Dragon Code about dates gone bad-

[You mean you added something?]

>FOUND! I found something!

'Well don't keep us in suspense, darling.'

Spike hands out a bunch of cards labeled 'Spike owes you one magical night'

>Well, I am obliged to offer each of you girls, a date night, dedicated to you, and wholly to you to do whatever you want to do as an apology. Or I can help you catch the stallion of your dreams. Anything at all to help make your night magical.

[Awww... Spike, that's really sweet of you, but I shouldn't have force myself on you in such a way to begin with.]

Twilight leans in and kisses Spike's cheek and sets down the card before leaving, not noticing Rarity nearly destroy the table and shatter her own teeth

{Get, bent, Spike! I don't want your pity dates!]

Diamond Tiara throws her card at Spike's face before leaving and doesn't see Applejack nearly destroy the table or almost shatter her own teeth

>Well, how about you, PJ.

PotatoJack just takes her food out of her mouth, swallows, and smiles

-I'm with Twilight on this one. I did have a lot of fun hanging out with you as a friend though and would love to do it again some time. I talked to Gilda and I was thinking maybe the three of us could go to a Monstallion Barbeque place she likes to hit up after practice.-

>Sounds like a delicious time!

PJ sets her card down in front of Spike and leaves

Applejack and Rarity then look at eachother a moment then scramble in front of Spike for the other tickets

'I was here first!'

"You had yer chance! Ya blew it!"

>Uhhh... Would it be offensive if I offered each of you a one week vacation, just me and, well, one of you instead of fighting over date tickets?

AJ and Rarity freeze and recompose themselves

"That sounds like a nice time."

'A lovely time, Dear, but, well, how can you pay for a vacation?'

>Do either of you realize how many checks I get from all the work I do?

"Uhh... How much?"

>A lot, plus, my insurance policy from the fight with 42 came through.

'"insurance policy?"'

>A dragon's gotta have his secrets

"Well jus' one more question, what about 2?"

>Oh, I talked to Shining and 2 in private on the matter, they're still discussing one what, he'd like us to go to a karaoke place in the Empire because he wants to hear 2 sing again, 2 wants me to watch her for when Cadence and Shining aren't around. He said something about 'wanting to feel those feels again', mean anything to either of you?

Rarity and Applejack shrug.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"Pommel"
'Flim'
-Flam-

>Ah well that was, eh...inoffensive.

"I'll be sure to relate your praise to the cooks."

'Could you also relate our own review?'

-Yes, just hand us a piece of paper and we'll spit on it!-

'Yes that'd convey our feelings easily!'

>I suppose one out of three isn't SO bad.

"Now about your story..."

>Ah yes, a promise is indeed a promise.

32 stretched out in his cell.

>I believe we left off where I had separated myself from the others to spare us all a gruesome fate. So while they continued on their way I went further down...down into the mountain.

>I'm sure the rumors of what lies in the caves have spread like wildfire across your ranks. I've never known 77 to be a liar, so I can assume whatever tale he spun of what we saw is true, of Morlocks, of Spiders, of that disgusting lure creature. All of it is true, but it was nothing but a mere fraction of what truly lives beneath our hooves.

"You mean to tell me there's more horrible things down there?"

>At a glance you would think it a mere wasteland, but trust me, there is a whole world down in those caves, like a planet trapped within the very skin of the surface world. I have seen predators and prey of every stripe, monstrosities and miracles contending with one another in a great underground ecosystem.

"You make it sound incredible..."

32 shrugs.

>For what seemed like months I lived down there, wandering, hunting, devouring. Until of course I found myself within the same environs as my lovely old friends, the Morlocks. Remember those amateur fishers I told you of earlier? Well they had set up camp at the banks of the river, jabbing into the river with their sharpened bone spears, hoping to catch a few of the blind fish that populated the waters.

"What did you do?"

>My first instinct was to attack, of course, they were quite clearly the enemy and I had the element of surprise. Then, a part of me saw opportunity, opportunity to learn more of these creatures, to get into their minds and bring the fight to them in their holes. I began the process I was trained to perform in my formative years: Infiltration.

"Shapeshifting."

>Indeed, one of my better skills to be certain.

"Oh? How good are y-huh..."

Pommel blinks as where once stood 32 now was Flim, grinning at him through the bars.

>I say, brother, it appears our guard is speechless at this demonstration of our changeling friend's prowess!

'What in the name of-!?'

-Are you sure, brother? It could just be his own slack-jawed stupidity!-

'Flam I'm-!'

>Not at all, dear brother, from where I'm standing he looks quite shocked!

'You impos-!'

-If you say as much bro- -

'ENOUGH WE GET THE POINT!'

-What?-

32's features morphed back into their regular form.

>I rest my case.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ2
“???”
_____

Celestia was pissed, and rightfully so as a specially made triple-layer, molten lava cake had been destroyed during a terrorist attack from Saddle Arabia. There were no casualties (yet), but the Canterlot halls were made barren when the solar princess threatened to use Spike as a fire gatling gun on anypony she saw, including her own sister.

Enter Two, the only one who knew what needed to be done! She considered it her civic duty, nay, her pleasure to help the stressed out princess! Namely by hugging the nasties away until she felt better!

>I’mma hug Auntie C good’n proper! Get my hooves ‘round her so tight she won’t know what hit-UMPH!

Two took a corner a little too quickly and crashed into something solid. Something big and solid. She bounced off like a rubber ball and landed on her rear, massaging her haunches as she glanced up.

>Wow, you’re huuuuuge!

What she’d bumped into was a Changeling, she knew that much by the glistening black body and holey legs. But this one was big, at least the same size as Celestia, with a waterfall of golden hair and kind emerald eyes. Eyes that blinked in stupefaction.

“Oh my… I found you quicker than expected…”

>Coool, look at the holes in your legs, they’re so big I can fit my own hoof right through ‘em, look, look!

“My holes are rather large, aren’t they? A rumor of Changelings goes the more the love, the bigger the holes….”

>These could prob’ly fit two- no, three marchmalley’s at one time! And how’d you get so tall? Drink a lot of milk? Shiny says if I drink a lot of milk I’ll grow into a big princess!

“Did he now? I guess I’d forgotten… Well, trust me when I say Shiny was not mistaken.”

Two was circling the larger Changeling in total awe.

>You got blonde hair and green eyes like not-mom’s family!... but I’ve never seen you before! Where’ve you been hidin’?

“I’ve been here as long as you have, Two.”

>Huh? How d’ya know my name?

“Who doesn’t know about the infamous Two? You are the one who restored the Crystal Heart after all.”

>Pshaaaw, I didn’t do that! The crystal pony people did! I just reminded them all that no matter what happens love never dies!

The larger Changeling merely smiled.

“You are going to be quite the leading force when you grow up.”

>You bet’cha I am! The princess of marchmalley’s! You just wait, I’mma be the bestest princess ever!

“You certainly will….”

Two barely heard, lost in acting out her reign as she marched back and forth before the other Changeling with a cutely scrunched face.

>I’d flyfree that every pony eat ten marchmalley’s a day! Failure to do so would result in no hugs that day!

“My, such a harsh punishment.”

>Not-mom says you have to be firm!

“Ah right… not-mom. She was quite the eccentric one, oh yes. And the word is ‘decree’, Two.”

>Shoot… thanks, uh… what was your name again?

“You can call me the Princess of Marchmalley’s.”

The look that fell over Two’s face was beyond picture-worthy: her jaw dropped, her shoulders sagged and her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. For a moment, words were a foreign concept to her and she was left feebly pointing with one of her little forearms.

>Th-the P-P-Puh-P-Princess of Muh-Marchmalley’s…? L-like… the real one?

“None other, Two.”

Two dropped to the ground in a bow so deep her forehead cracked off the ground, but being as full of love as she was and all but invincible, she didn’t even feel it.

>Y-your majesty!

The Princess of Marchmalley’s grinned at the scene, then twirled a hoof through the air. A little baggy of different colored marshmallows appeared out of nowhere and fell before Two who outright squealed with joy.

>Is this… b-but they’re blue and green and purple and-and… is this f-for me?

“Indeed, Two, for I, the Marchmalley Princess, have been watching you for a long time. Your deeds across the pony world have not gone unnoticed, neither has your utter devotion to the wonderful marchmalley. I have come to tell you that you’ve earned yourself recommendation for the seat of Marchmalley Princess when I step down.”

If Two were capable of suffering a heart attack, she’d have gone through three in the moment.

>Th-thank you! Thank you, your majesty!

“Now… my time here is nearly up and don’t you have to pay Auntie C a visit?”

>I… oh yeah! I was on my way to… right, right! I almost forgot! Hey, I can share some of these with her! Hugs and marchmalleys, that’ll get her smiling again!

She ran up to the larger Changeling and embraced her front leg in a tight embrace.

>Thank you so much, princess…

“Just never stop hugging, Two.”

>You can bet I won’t!

And Two was off, galloping down the empty hall towards Celestia, the little baggie of multi-colored snacks in her mouth.

When the smaller changeling was quite out of view, the Princess of Marchmalley’s giggled to herself and bent down to reclaim the crown knocked from her head when Two collided with her. It very much resembled Chrysalis’s, except larger and atop the three prongs were marshmallows. An inscription on the outside read “Queen Two, Princess of Marchmalley’s.”

She fit it back in its rightful place between her golden locks.

“Hm, I think my time here is just about up… but goodness, I was quite the cute one back in the day, wasn’t I?”

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Batmom"
'Dadling'
>???
~~~~
'Are we really sure about this?'

"She came highly recommended and knows almost as much about Changelings as Chrysalis, if not more, and she is the Surgeon General of Equestria."

'So that's a 'no', then.'

"Not at all."

>Now, I want to assure the two of you I am the foremost expert on everything not related to politics and will do everything I can to see your pregnancy is a happy, healthy, and safe one. With lots and lots of expansion in our understanding of changeling pony interbreeding. Further more, I will not require either of you to do something to be ashamed of.

"Well that's-"

>Now strip naked and get on the probulator. Both of you.

'...'

"..."

'She seems legit."

"Well she's a Princess and Celestia's student, of course she is."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"???"
'???'
~~~
BAM! POW!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

'YOU MISSED!'

>Whoa, sounds like 42's really putting the troops through their paces.

CRUNCH!

'COME ON! YOU CALL THAT BREAKING MY LEG?!'

CRASH! BAFF! NOODLE!

>Wait a minute, that sounds like she's fighting just one guy... And it sounds like a real fight! Not training!

"I'm just getting... FIRED UP!"

FWOOSH!

Shining Armor bursts into the room

>SPIKE! 42!

'Huh? Shining?'

"Whoa, man! A little privacy please? This is a private sparring session!'

>P-P-Private?! SPARRING?! 42, I thought I was special!

'I'm sorry, Shining... But Spike just satisfies my blood lust in ways you don't.'

>Bu-But all of out fights... I still bleed when I pee from when you burst one of my kidneys.

"Dude, seriously, you should see Twilight about that."

'Shining, our fights were fun at first, but honestly, I was pretty much just picking on you, and when you got better, honestly you just tended to turtle into your barriers and come out only to slap me. Spike understands that offense is a valid defense too...

>D-Does this mean no more sparring?

'I can spar with both of you?'

"I think she can take us both on at once! Join in!"

>I want no part of this you sickos! And, 42, Y-You're a fight hussy!

Shining Armor runs out like a little girl while sobbing

"Need to go talk to him?"

'Yeah, sorry, the mood's kind of gone now.'

"I could work with him if you'd like, I have some anti-magic bullets which would force him to fight more offensively since it would cancel his barriers."

'Thanks, Spike, this is why you're such a great partner.'

"Hey, anytime."

Spike punches 42 affectionately

42 laughed and groin checks Spike who crumples into a heap

"I gotta go, and remember to protect your nuts, Spike!"

'T-Thanks... Later!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________