Micah Hong <dreamingofryleh@gmail.com>
10:55 PM (0 minutes ago)

to Anna
Dear Aunty Ann.

It has come to my attention in the midst of my job searches and applications online that there are several issues that have festered behind my back and beneath my notice. The fault for that I take as mine, as I tend to work till I drop if pressed enough. Indeed, as it is? I would have been further mortified if it went further as it reflects a smear upon my name, which I find incredibly repulsive. I am angry, yes. Angry and furious at these turn of events. So I will endeavor to address them all, one by one in an attempt to illumifnate where darkness has previously taken muster.

First of all, this.

<estevezvhmanuelyes@outlook.com> > Date: December 25, 2016 at 12:40:11 PM PST > To: "amalulani71@comcast.net" <amalulani71@comcast.net> > Subject: Micah , Looking for someone to sext with > > I am a very cute gal from Depoe bay, and I like to share my tasty body with random dudes, who know how to have a fun time.

I have no idea what this thing is, beyond face value. I have no proof beyond my words. All I can say is that I don't know why its being sent to you, or why its my name there. The closest I've come to this, is a Craigslist ad for a job that requires a writer for adult films(scrapping the bottom of the barrel in my searches) and even then, I only give out MY email address. dreamingofryleh@gmail.com. I have never given out yours, or alluded to you save in the phone number you gave when I need a contact one.

When Kama informed me of this, I was furious.

Which brings me to this next part. The appointment. I was informed by Kama that to quote his words,  Really? Because your Aunt told your Dad you just didn't want to walk to the place.

I had waited outside, a good half hour before Sam was to come. I had cleaned myself up and the like, and made sure to inform Steve I was going to wait outside. After the time, I had walked upstairs to ask if I could borrow Steves phone, when he poked his head out and said 'Its been canceled.'.

I had no idea where it was going to be, or which doctor if any I was going to meet. On that, I should have been more proactive but I was trusting and if it was made for my benefit, I would have waited an hour if needed. So with that in mind, being informed that 'I didn't want to walk' or 'I didn't care', again quoting from Kama's words really hurt me to a viscous degree. Why didn't you ask me what had happened? I wish you could have elaborated more, or perhaps Steve was a poor translator after I went back to my job searching. Regardless, I really wish you could have asked me and trusted that I was doing all I can to fix myself up, rather then second hand. Beyond that?

I'm told you believe I sleep all day and stay up all night. You're right, to an extent. I spend all my time on craigslist, LDS jobs.org and various sites given by my brother, in addition to places I manage to find within walking distance or far away. The majority of places I seek employment tend to give me stuff like this.

Ross HR <hr-rossstores@invalidemail.com>

AttachmentsJan 6 (5 days ago)



to me





Dear Micah:


Thank you for your interest in Ross Stores, Inc.  After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that we have decided to pursue other candidates whose experience and qualifications more closely match our position requirements.

We will retain your candidate file in our database and may inform you of job openings that match your profile if you selected this option. We also invite you to visit the Career Section on our Web site regularly.

We thank you for your interest in our opportunities and wish you all the best of luck in your job search.


Best regards,
Human Resources
Ross Stores, Inc.

As you can imagine, this simply spurs me further to work to find something. I have to remind myself with a notice on my wall, to eat and drink and my sleeping hours are messed up. Considering the time I could be spending looking for work, instead of resting? I take what I can get and often do so to the point of collapse. Which in hindsight as I write this out, isn't really the best thing to admit.

I've gotten a lot of emails, such as the one Ross has sent me. A lot of notices such as that, and it really hurts me a lot. There's a tendency to take these messages personally, like a little stab through the heart just for me, from the universe. Telling me what a fuck-up I've become that not even the bottom of the barrel wants anything to do with me. But I still move forward. I still try my best to find something in a place that won't hurt your own work, and like I tell my brother as well? If I can't find work? I can at least keep my word. I told you since the beginning that should you wish, I will walk out the door quietly and without fuss. That offer still holds true now, and as a man of my word I would not only be obligated to keep it, but proud as well. I may not be able to find work, but at least they can say of me 'he is an honorable man.' Or so I hope they will.

I wish I knew ahead of time where the doctor wanted to meet. I wish I could trust myself behind the wheel of car, or in a situation where I couldn't be a fuck up that I've grown wearily accustomed to. Digging myself out of this pit is hard, especially when it seems everyone is doing their best to kick you down and keep you there. But I'm still trying, I'm still climbing. I couldn't do anything less, where you're concerned, not if I want to uphold your good name and faith in me.

I'm sorry about the weird emails and I don't know where they come from. I'm sorry you thought I'd rather stay at home, then go to a doctor to help get me out of these shackles you and I know can kill us slowly by degrees. I'm sorry you believe I'd rather sleep than work to help you in any way I can. Its difficult and I've often thought about other means to get money needed, but in doing so I'd compromise everything I ever stood for. And I think that'd disappoint you the most.

Well, I think that's everything pertinent. I tend to be more eloquent and in-control when it comes to writing, than a face to face and this should have everything. If you require records, screenshots or character testimonies from the people who know me and how I've been trying to find work and push myself, as always? You need only ask and I will provide. I am many things Aunty Ann. I'm sick in the head and have been so for a long time. I've been sad for so long, its hard to think of any other emotion. I've tried to kill myself quick and slow and sometimes, its harder to tell which is better. But I can tell you this, without any sense of modesty.

In the time since I've come here, I've never thrown in the bucket and I've never thought once it'd be easier to give up, even when everything else around me tells me it'd be easier to do so.

Hope that covers everything. Sorry again for the trouble. Your (troubled but still fighting) nephew,

Micah