Ren DMMd re:connect Good Ends Translation (Part 1)

Ren Dramatical Murder Re:connect Good End(s) (choice 1):
CHOICE:
1)	Watch the official works of “Dawning Sky”
2)	See a new story

1) Watch the official works of “Dawning Sky”:
After Platinum Jail’s Oval Tower collapsed.
It had been have a year after thatI learned about and went to see Ren… Sei in Kyuujuuminku’s hospital.
When I saw Ren sleeping in the hospital bed a lot of unbelievable things clouded my mind.
He looked exactly like Sei, but if I looked carefully, his atmosphere and the color of his eyes were Ren’s and I understood immediately what had happened.
But as I slowly came to understand that Ren had returned, I was overcome with feelings of happiness, but also the desire to bawl.
I tried frantically to bear my emotions, and talked to Ren while holding back the urge to cry.
A: …Welcome back.
Since then Ren has been hospitalized for a while.
It seems that he can’t move well in Sei’s body and while he was hospitalized he went through rehabilitation.
At first it was just hard for him to walk and he would screw up his face in pain as he did his best.
I encouraged him and did the best I could to help.
He got used to rehabilitation eventually, and was soon able to walk on his own.
I was told by his doctor that Ren’s recovery was rather fast, and if it kept going on like this he would be able to return home in just about a week’s time.
He would still have to go through rehabilitation when he was released, but I was extremely excited just by the fact that his release date had been decided.
A: Now, let’s go home.
R: Yes
The day he was released…
While holding Ren’s hand tightly in mine, we left the hospital and walked home slowly.
Along the way Ren looked at his legs. It seemed that to be able to walk well he had to concentrate really hard.
Because Kyuujuuminku’s streets aren’t really pretty, empty cans, plastic bags, and large pieces of trash are everywhere.
He was concentrating really hard to avoid those and not to step on them.
I held his hand loosely and didn’t help him any more than I needed too.
I think Ren appreciated that.
It took twice as long as usual to reach home, and as we did, Ren stared up at the house as if embracing it.
R: …
Looking at that face, something sad rose in my chest.
It’s been a while for Ren… and it’s the first time he’s been to the house in his newly acquired body.
I wonder what he was feeling.
I didn’t ask him, but instead I pushed on his back, urging him to go inside.
After leaving the hospital and returning home, we continued to do the easiest rehabilitation we could inside the house.
If Ren had been improving as fast as the doctor had said, then soon he would be able to move around freely and easily.
Though while he may be able to move around easily in the house, he never missed rehabilitation.
That way of doing things was is so like Ren; he attacked each day seriously and I helped him.
However, even though I say he worked as hard as he could, it wasn’t good for him to pressure his body so much.
Because of that if I wasn’t watching him an accident or something may have happened.
Like that, the days that followed Ren returning home with me passed quickly.

One day about a month after he was released from the hospital.
I’m on a break from work today so I can be as relaxed as I want.
Ren and I have a late lunch and relax in my room.
Grandma has been out with a friend since the morning, but made breakfast and left it for us.
For lunch I made eggplant miso.
I had the feeling that I’d made it a little bit spicy but Ren said it was delicious and ate it for me.
However, it’s still hard for him to use chopsticks so he ate well using a spoon.
It seems that holding a fork or a spoon is much easier.
After doing a slight rehabilitation on the stairs, we returned to the room.
Now, Ren is sitting on the bed with a magazine in his lap and is alternating gripping his hands into fists.
This, too, is rehabilitation.
I’m sure he’s not really interested in what’s going on in the magazine.
But, just seeing Ren “reading a magazine” is refreshing.
It might be more real than I thought, that Ren is now living as a human.
A: …there. Ah, I see.
As I’m looking at the web, I decide to try to put my hair up with a hair band, but I realize what I’m doing and stop.
A: I don’t need this today, huh.
I place the hair band on the desk where it always is for me to use when I go out.
Because I didn’t want people to touch my hair when it had feeling in it, I would put it up.
I could measure how much I could touch my own hair and because of that I was able to put it up. The band isn’t rubber so it never hurt that much.
I don’t have much feeling left in my hair any more, but my old habits still linger.
There isn’t really any meaning, I just end up doing it.
Well, it feels nice to have my hair off my neck so when I go out I still pull it up sometimes.
Today is a holiday so I don’t really have to. I look back to my computer screen.
An ad for new all-mate parts on the top of the screen catches my eyes.
A: All-mate huh…
I mutter and look at the coil on my wrist.
I parted with the all-mate Ren so I added an app to my coil to make things easier for me.
Things like maps, and things to help me clear confusion over things, mail and phone functions, things like that.
I don’t do Rhyme anymore, so I don’t really have a need for an all-mate anymore anyway.
It’s just annoying to have to find something else, and honestly I’m fine with my coil.
But, the all-mate Ren was always with me, everything he did was important to me.
Though I haven’t really thought about it much until now.
The all-mate Ren is off, and sleeping in my room.
He’s lying on the cushion that he always slept on so it looks just like he’s actually asleep.
I have thought of repairing Ren so I could use him instead of the coil, but I gave up the idea.
Because Ren is sitting on my bed reading a magazine.
Besides, I’m still really attached to Ren’s all-mate body.
I don’t want it to come to the point where I call him by a name other than Ren.
It’s different now, but that machine is still “Ren”.
Therefore, I think it’s also important to not start him up.
I think that if I tried to talk to Ren he wouldn’t really refuse.
It would be complicated, but he might even be happy.
That machine is probably also important to Ren.
I mean, really. It was the body that he had been used to for a long time.
Ren has been able to get used to a human body, but that’s thanks to Sei. In reality, it’s not really Ren’s body.
Because of that, he couldn’t move immediately after awakening in the hospital.
I think that always been asleep and unmoving is a part of it too but, even so, the doctor said that he was weaker than a normal human would be.
At the beginning he not only couldn’t use his legs and arms well, but also his voice, and it seemed like it was hard for him to talk.
Therefore he used his voice in asking for help to eat, go to the toilet, have help walking, and a lot of other things to practice.
Certainly it wasn’t easy but, Ren really did his absolute best so I didn’t dislike helping him.
I also felt really happy watching Ren gain his vigor back.
When we returned home after Ren had gotten really good at his rehabilitation, Grandma was making dinner in the kitchen.
Beforehand I had told Grandma… I told her how Sei had given Ren his body.
Therefore she had an idea about it, but when she saw Ren for the first time it looked like she was actually really surprised.
A: Grandma
T: What is it…!
Grandma was surprised when she saw Ren and became stiff with her knife in her hand.
A: Uhm… Well, that is
A: You may not believe it but… We talked about it before right? This is Ren.
T: ….
Grandma was dumbfounded and just blinked and nodded when I asked.
But the surprise left her face little by little and Grandma started to show an apologetic expression.
Then she walked up to Ren and said.
T: …Welcome home.
R: …
A: Grandma….
I heard those words as though they were being said to both Ren and Sei.
Compared to the time he was hospitalized, Ren can talk a lot better now.
At first he had awkward expressions and moved with difficulty.
Now that he’s able to move more freely I feel that his expressions are a lot closer to how Ren’s used to e.
Right now Ren is also Sei but he is Ren, I mean basically it’s a little different than saying Ren is Sei.
From the time Ren was an all-mate he was a little bit more muscly and if I remember correctly Sei was rather thin.
The skin, hair, eyes, and voice seem like they have changed to Ren’s.
Therefore I can clearly realize right now that he is Ren.
Now that I think about it his height… before Ren was bigger than me, right.
What is it now?
A: Hey, Ren. Come here for a second.
Ren lifts his head, buts the magazine on the bed and stands.
R: What’s wrong, Aoba?
Ren rubs his eyes. When I see that behavior I think, ah.
This is a habit from when Ren was hospitalized.  Recently there are times when he rubs his eyes without thinking.
When I asked him why he does that he said he didn’t know, but that he was doing it unconsciously.
Hearing that I somehow think… that this must have been one of Sei’s habits.
I don’t know much about Sei.
Therefore I don’t know if it’s true or not and there may be a chance that the habit just appeared for Ren.
But I still feel like it must have been a habit of Sei’s.
A: Stand straight just like that. Just like that.
I walk up to Ren, chest to chest, and place my hand atop my head to measure our height.
I slide my hand from my head to Ren and it meets about Ren’s lips.
A: …This is the real world but you’re still taller than me after all.
I say the words sulkily and Ren blinks in surprise.
R: This is not my fault. Originally Sei was one centimeter taller than you, Aoba.
A: This height isn’t just one centimeter~
I rub my slanted hand against Ren’s lips who shows a troubled expression.
Seeing that gives me satisfactions and I laugh and pat Ren’s head.
A: Well. It doesn’t really matter, anyway.
R: Is that so…?
I pat Ren’s head once more cause he still looks worried, and suddenly the all-mate Ren flashes before my eyes.
The lump of blue full that’s curled up in a ball on the cushion.
A: When I look at him like this it really does just look like he’s sleeping.
I walk towards the cushion and squat to look at Ren.
Doing that suddenly makes me want to embrace him and I close my eyes to brush that head gently.
I did this in the past a lot, huh…
R: …Aoba.
As I pat the all-mate’s head remembering things of the past, Ren comes to peer at me from the side.
R: Aoba, that dog…. Saying it that way is a little strange but, is that all-mate important to you?
A: Of coure.
A: It’s important to me. After all this guy it you, to me. More than anything we were always together. And…
A: He’s puffy?
I laugh as I say the words and rub the all-mat’s body.
In that instant Ren looks disheartened.
R: …I’m sorry, Aoba. The me right now has no fur.
Looking at that I feel like I’ll end up laughing.
Because he looks just like the all-mate Ren when he’s sad and has his ears folded down.
Unintentionally I reach out a hand to ruffle Ren’s hair.
A: Sorry, sorry. I said something strange.
A: Even if you don’t make that face it’s okay. I can ruffle you like this still. See?
R: I think this is different from being puffy though.
A: It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s puffy to me.
R: …If Aoba says it’s all right then.
After showing a small smile of relief, Ren suddenly drops his hand into his line of vision.
Looking at it, he opens and closes his left hand.
Come to think of it, he said he was having a little bit of a hard time moving his hand this morning too.
A: How’s your hand?
R: It still feels a little strange. However, if I do this repeatedly that feeling should go away soon.
A: Should I take a look at it?
I take his hand as I say the words… and come to a realization.
What am I going to examine?
Ren’s not an all-mate anymore.
Therefore I have no reason to take tools out to do maintenance on him anymore.
I understand that but when I hear that there’s something wrong with Ren’s body it’s my automatic response.
Because it’s something I’ve always done in the past…
Thinking that I become just a little sad.
I notice that Ren is looked at me in silence and I drop his hand in embarrassment.
A: Sorry, it’s a habit.
R: No, it’s okay. I was also told by that doctor that it’s not good to move it too much.
R: Let’s end rehabilitation here for today.
A: Okay, then, we have to do this~
I push my face closer to Ren’s, bumping our foreheads together.
It’s a charm that I would do after performing maintenance on him but now it’s turned into a charm that I always do after he does rehabilitation.
As I do this charm I breathe a secret sigh of happiness mixed with relief.
A: …It’s an experience doing this with you all the time.
R: What is?
A: Knowing that you’re here. The fact that I can touch you makes me really happy.
R: Aoba…
I was thinking about things a little more than usual before so now it seems like I’m getting a little more sentimental than usual.
A lot of things have happened up until now… But because those days happened we are where we are now.
Thinking that I can’t help but bite my teeth and chew threw my happiness that Ren is here.
A: When the tower collapsed you disappeared from inside of me, right?
R: Yes.
A: I was really lonely because you weren’t there. I really thought that now, everyone has left me.
I actually haven’t had this talk once since Ren and I met again when he was hospitalized.
Of course I was really preoccupied with his rehabilitation, but in actuality in my heart I just didn’t feel like I should tell him.
I thought that I shouldn’t complain to Ren.
But I feel like it’s okay to talk about it now.
It’s not complains anymore, it’s my true feelings.
Hearing my words Ren removes his head from mine and lowers his eyes.
R: …I truly apologize for that time.
R: At that time, my consciousness should have been erased. I truly thought that.
A: Is that right?
R: Yes. However, when I returned to the real world I heard a voice.
R: …It was Sei’s voice.
A: …Sei’s?
R: Sei said, “come” and I felt him pulling at my consciousness.
R: Then, when I realized it, I was in Sei’s body.
A: You were called by Sei… but is it really so easy for you to enter? Entering your consciousness into someone’s body.
R: Aoba and Sei were originally one life-form, but you were separated and born as twins.
R: Furthermore, I was originally part of Aoba.
R: I may have been able to enter easily because you could say that Sei was a part of Aoba once.
R: I think that Sei must have thought of that, too.
…When I got the call that Ren was in Kyuujuuminku’s hospital, I also got the game delivery (that princess game)
A present from the princess who had always guided me.
Could it be…
that at that time, Sei’s consciousness hadn’t completely been erased?
Maybe his scattered consciousness still remained somewhere.
And maybe it came as something Sei wanted to tell me as parting words.
The fact that him giving Ren his body was really the last present.
R: When I entered Sei’s body, I felt nostalgic.
A: Nostalgic?
R: Yes. It was similar to when I was in Aoba’s body… I felt like I had returned to the same place in Aoba and I felt relieved.
R: That must have been because you and Sei are twins.
A: I see…
R: However, there was nothing inside Sei. There was nothing left of Sei’s consciousness at all.
R: That’s why the body that I am in now has more or less conformed and changed to who I am.
A: …
There was nothing inside Sei.
Ren’s words make my heart hurt.
I know that that’s the truth but it’s still hard to accept that Sei’s whole self has been completely erased from existence.
Sei and I.
We were originally one life-form and were split when it was decided we were going to live in this world.
We couldn’t change it or fight against it. I understand that but it’s still painful.
There isn’t any other option any more.
Even if I think of things to do now, there’s nothing I can do anymore.
R: This body in reality was completely different up until now. That’s why I couldn’t move after the tower collapsed.
R: I was struggling in the rubble when I was saved by someone.
A: Saved? By who?
R: Those two men. They have said often that they are your fans.
Virus and Trip…
The two who were in Morphine, and when I realized it, it was a shock and a terrible feeling.
…Wait.
Virus and Trip?
A: Was it those guys who transferred you to Midorijima hospital and looked after you?
R: Yes. While I was hospitalized I barely opened my eyes, rather, my consciousness had fallen into a lethargic state.
R: However, my consciousness was surfacing slowly. That’s why sometimes I could hear the two of them talking.
I heard from the nurse that Ren had been transferred there from a foreign hospital.
But if what Ren is saying right now is true, it would turn out that it was Virus and Trip who took him to Kyuujuuminku.
That means, that the one who called me was…
V: If it’s possible, could I bother you to meet with him when you are free?
V: That’s good to hear. We will be waiting. Please do come. Until then.
A: …I see.
R: What is it?
A: Nah, I just had a feeling when I received the call that it was a voice I had heard before.
A: That call was probably from Virus. But I never thought that he would be the one to call me.
A: ….Haaa. I can’t really understand those guys. I can’t tell if they’re my allies or enemies.
R: They’re probably neither. They just follow their hearts and do whatever they want to do.
A: Does that mean that they saved you on a whim?
R: Perhaps but… At first they thought I was Sei. They must have realized halfway that I wasn’t though.
R: “I don’t know what’s happening right now but, isn’t it more interesting for him to live than to die in vain?
R: I remember one of them saying that.
A: What the hell is that… Those guys, are they still scheming something?
R: No, I didn’t hear it said with that kind of intention.
R: I heard it as just plain curiosity.
A: Plain curiosity, huh.
A: …Well, it is kind of rather like them after all.
I feel a well of complicated emotions when I think about them and I nod.
Truthfully, I’m not happy that they came back.
But no matter the reason it’s true that they saved Ren and I have to be honestly thankful for that.
A: Those guys, were actually part of Morphine and a lot of other things…
A: But because they were there, you can be energetic like this now.
R: Yes.
Ren pulls himself together and smiles.
Ren gives me a smile, but his lips immediately turn down.
A: Ren?
R: …
As though he’s thinking about something, he looks straight at me earnestly.
R: I said that I still had some consciousness in this body when I was hospitalized, right?
R: …I always, always heard Aoba’s sad voice.
A: …!
R: ….That, when? When you were in the foreign hospital too?
R: Yes. Constantly since I was taken from Midorijima.
R: Rather than hearing it with my ears, I felt Aoba’s voice echoing deep inside my head.
…My voice, reached him. I can’t believe it.
Of course I called for him over and over, but it’s not just that.
I always, always thought about it when Ren wasn’t here.
That Ren really hasn’t disappeared. That we would surely be able to meet again.
Rather than a hope or a wish, it was more like a prayer.
I want to see Ren.
Maybe that thought reverberated in my heart unconsciously over and over again.
That’s the only reason for me to think that my voice may have reached Ren.
Thinking that Sei and I were once one being, it isn’t impossible.
R: Really, I wanted to answer but I couldn’t do anything.
R: I wanted to open my eyes right away, so that I could see Aoba… I couldn’t stand it.
A: Ren…
Ren looks at me and reaches out a hand to touch my face.
He touches me with only his fingers tips…
and looks away with a troubled expression.
R: …
…I understand.
The reason why Ren looks away when he touches me.
This has happened like this many times.
Ren is hesitating.
He’s hesitating about whether he can touch me or not.
Because his body was once my twin brother’s body.
Ren was led into Sei’s body by Sei himself. That’s what Sei wished for.
Therefore Ren has no need to feel indebted to Sei in anyway.
…Even so.
I really understand Ren’s reasons for hesitating well.
And I clearly recognize the being in front of me as Ren.However, at the same time…
he’s my brother.
Therefore we’re confused about whether it’s okay to touch under these circumstances  or not.
We both understand what we’re thinking without saying anything, so since he was released from the hospital we haven’t connected at all.
The time I used scrap on him was the last time.
We hold hands but we don’t do anything like kissing.
Rather, we can’t. Even if we want to we end up thinking about it.
About Sei.
In reality I want to touch him. I’m sure Ren feels the same way.
But…
As though noticing my hesitation, Ren smiles and drops the hand he sued to touch me.
R: I understand Aoba’s feelings. You understand my feelings as well, right?
A: …
R: Therefore let’s stop. In the time we hesitate it may become more probable that we will regret it.
Ren separates from me and sits on the bed.
I follow that movement with my eyes and think.
…Is it really okay to stop here?
I think that Sei really knew how Ren and I felt towards each other.
He understood, and that’s why he gave Ren a real body.
Both Ren and I, in this reality, wanted to touch each other.
That’s why this was Sei’s last wish.
Even so, is it okay to stay like this forever?
I really want to touch Ren. I want to touch him so much it hurts.
I’m sure that Ren feels the same way… I think.
However, we can’t say it.
Is it really okay to do that sort of thing to Sei’s body? Is it really okay to do that sort of thing to Sei’s body?
I gave up after being attacked by that question many times.
The more I think about it the more I think that it’s a bad thing…
…But.
But I really hate it like this after all.
The fact that I can now touch Ren in this reality. I don’t want to give up now that that wish has come true
There are times that I think this is just me being incredibly and terribly selfish.
I should be satisfied with just this situation alone.
Because Sei went this far and made this much of a miracle happen.
If he hadn’t made this happen, then I’m sure it would have returned to the days before we went to Platinum Jail, the same never changing days.
It should be enough that it hasn’t.
It’s just that we’ve returned to a place in our lives that’s a little different than before, I shouldn’t be afraid to hold him.
Even so I’m… greedy.
I think I’m disagreeable.
I want to touch Ren more. I want to touch Ren.
I love Ren.
That’s why I can’t hold back this desire. I want to hold Ren.
Is it wrong for me to think that?
Maybe I’ve mistaken what Sei really wanted.
The fact that I’m thinking these things, would it actually make Sei sad?
I feel guilty and think of that a lot.
But, in the end I always come to the conclusion that “that’s wrong.”
I can’t talk to Sei anymore, so maybe I’m just thinking those things on my own.
There’s no foundation or anything. But I always end up thinking it.
That Sei would find fault in mine and Ren’s decision.
I still don’t know how to receive Sei’s consciousness.
Maybe the way I’m thinking about him is wrong.
There are a lot of worries for me. But, in the end I still want to do what I want to do.
Because I don’t think it’s wrong for me to love Ren and to want to touch him.
That’s why it’s surely…
okay right?
Sei…
A: …Ren
I walk to the bed and sit next to Ren.
I touch the back of his hand softly.
R: …Aoba?
Ren’s eyes glitter in bewilderment as he looks at me.
I rub the back of his hand silently and then reach a finger to touch his lips.
Ren’s lips. But Sei’s lips.
I want to love them no matter what.
I don’t have any memories with Sei, and I never touched him.
Therefore, is it strange… for me to want to also pour into Ren the feelings that I have for Sei?
I don’t mean it in a strange way, but it may just be an excuse that I want to hold him in order to convey all my feelings.
It may just be me conveniently thinking it but, there was a feeling born into me a little bit differently than just being sentimental.
A: Ren. I love you.
R: …Aoba.
A: I love you so I want to touch you, I want to be touched by you. Is thinking that wrong?
R: …
Ren drops his eyes as though he’s confused about how to answer.
This is the first time I’ve clearly relayed my feelings.
Before this somehow the both of us have avoided the topic.
We turned our eyes away from the problem of wanting to touch each other.
But I want to stop that now.
If I don’t, we’ll always be at a stand still.
I look straight into Ren’s face.
A: If you’re really worried about you being in Sei’s body…
A: To me, though I may be wrong, both of those existences are important to me. Ren and Sei.
A: But the one in front of me right now is Ren.
I stop talking and let out a sigh full of my swelling emotions.
A: I always, always wanted to see you. I was always waiting for the day I could meet you.
A: Always, since you disappeared from in front of me.
R: …
A: Have you thought of the reason why Sei gave you his body?
A: Surely, he gave it to you because he wished for your happiness.
R: ….However.
Ren scowls like he’s in pain and looks towards me.
R: Even if you say that….. I can’t think that using Sei’s body for my own pleasure is something right.
R: In that case I can’t stand feeling apologetic towards him.
Desire.
When I hear that word my heart skips a beat and starts pounding.
Finally we’ve come to an understanding for why we’ve been hesitating.
Both Ren and I feel like we’ll trample over Sei’s feelings with this unsightly lust.
There are severe feelings of guilt
But, we both want to touch each other.
R: I fully know that Sei’s kindness to me is a miracle.
R: That’s why, that’s exactly why… I feel like I should not use it for my selfish feelings.
R: Besides, Aoba, you’re perplexed right?
R: We were always separated… and now my body is your brother’s.
A: ….That is….
I can’t deny it.
No matter how many times I think it over, that is like a wall standing right before me, blocking my path.
A: But, after all these feelings… are they just my self-centeredness?
A: Is me wanting to touch you just because of my greed…?
R: …Aoba
A: I know that I should just be satisfied being here with you.
A: But in reality… I’m so close to you. Even though we’re so close that we could touch….
I feel my throat tighten up in the middle of my words and I stop talking to swallow.
I’m muddled about what I should say, how I should say it…
What spills out next is a question I can’t help but ask.
A: …What should we do?
I’m completely complaining.
So not cool…
But, it’s my true feelings.
It was my determination to talk to Ren like this, because I feel like we can’t go on like this anymore.
Exactly because I understand Ren’s words, I’m anxious.
Maybe it’s better to give up after all….
If I give up, I’ll be released from this dissatisfaction, but thrown into regret.
….Regret.
If we continue like this, I’ll regret it.
I definitely think I shouldn’t give this up/
What about Ren?
When I look at Ren with questioning in my eyes, he shows me a complex expression and holds my hed in his arms.
A: …!
It’s something sudden, but I don’t move away.
Ren’s body heat is flowing into me.
R: I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to trouble you, Aoba.
R: I’m extremely happy that I can be with Aoba like this in reality, and my thanks to Sei knows no bounds.
R: But, I’m hesitating about whether it’s really okay for me to use this body as my own. And…
R: …I also want to touch Aoba.
R: I’m troubled that those feelings keep growing every day.
A: Ren…
R: I want to be able to treasure both Sei and Aoba, both of you are important to me.
R: That’s why I feel like this is something I have to protect.
R: Along with that, like I said before I think it’s not good to use Sei’s body for my desires, and if Aoba is troubled I think so all the more.
Ren strokes my head slowly.
The feeling in my hair has already disappeared so Ren’s hand right now is really comfortable.
R: But if doing that makes Aoba sad then there is no meaning in it.
R: Sei especially made this miracle happen, but everyone will just be sad.
R: That conclusion… Is surely not what Sei wished for. I can say that much at least.
A: …
R: …That’s why, Aoba.
Ren peers into my face. There’s no hesitation in his eyes this time.
We’re so close that our noses could touch and his eyes are earnest.
R: Say it once more, that you love me.
A: …
I swallow the feeling of my heart rising into my throat.
Suddenly I can’t speak.
But right now has a different meaning than before.
I open my mouth slowly under the conviction that these words will change our circumstances.
A: I love you, Ren.
R: …
Ren pulls back his lips and lets out a deep sigh.
The hand patting my head moves to my back and he embraces me hard.
R: I too… love you, Aoba.
Ren burries his head into my shoulder and tells me in a voice blurred by emotion.
R: …Aoba.
R: I want to… Hold Aoba
A: …
A: ...Yeah
I nod as the words make my heart speed up in my chest.
Before, we were normally very far apart.
Ren was a piece of personality inside of me, and wasn’t an existence living in reality.
Because he had that consciousness, he was able to be in Sei’s body.
Everything is just impossible.
I don’t know what’s right, and in the first place I feel like our state of affairs is completely strange.
This unbearable feeling of stumbling and fumbling can’t help but make us suffer and be conflicted.
And from now on we will still have our troubles.
Even so I still believe… in the feelings that we have for each other.
I love Ren and Ren loves me.
That’s why we can be here now.
Even if our choice is wrong, my feelings can’t change.
The fact that we’re choosing to continue on from here means that we’ll run into many walls and complications.
But we have to continue on anyway.
That’d probably fine.
Because I decided to continue on with Ren.  There’s no other path I could take.
That might mean that I’m walking barefoot into harsh grounds. But…
Even if the sole of my feet become bloody and my skin is torn to pieces, I don’t care.
Because that’s the path that we chose.
R: …
Like I did before, Ren touches my lips softly.
He looks at me for a little after that…
and like the time I used scrap on him, he kisses me.
A: N…
While kissing with just our lips, I take Ren’s hand and press it to my chest.
I want to show Ren how hard my heart is pounding in my chest.
We separate from our kiss and this time Ren takes my hand to his chest.
It’s not as much as mine, but his heart is beating pretty fast too.
R: My feelings aren’t joint with Aoba’s like they were before.
R: That’s why touching like this, I understood that your heart is beating fast. That makes me happy.
Those words make me happy and I hold the hand to my chest tighter.
A: Me too. I mean you, never really showed your face so I never knew.
A: I never knew that your heart… was pounding this much.
R: Yeah.
Ren smiles softly and takes my hand to his mouth and licks my fingers.
A: …
Faint pleasure makes me shiver.
Ren takes one of my fingers all the way into his mouth and then one at a time, all the way to my thumb, licks each one.
Doing that is erotic and makes my heart pound, and his lips are emitting more heat than I would have thought.
A: Ha…
R: Aoba…
Ren holds the back of my neck and kisses my nose before leading me to the bed.
…And, even though it’s this situation, I have a question.
A: W-wait
R: …?
Ren stops his movements and looks at me with worry.
R: You don’t like it after all? If you don’t…
A: Ah, sorry no, that’s not it…
A: …U-uhm
What should I do. I sudden’y wanted to say it but I don’t know how.
Ren scowls and waits patiently for my next words.
If he gives me that face it will be harder for me to say it…
…But, whatever. We’ve come this far so there’s nothing to hide.
I shake off my embarrassment and open my mouth decidedly.
A: Uhm you know. It was like that before but… Am I always on the bottom?
R: Bottom?
A: Um that… what is it… I don’t really like taking what you call the woman’s role…
A: …How should I say it… the one being thrust into?
R: ….Oh
R: I understand what you want to say, Aoba.
Ren’s eyes twinkle like he’s troubled.
R: That is, basically, you don’t like being entered?
A: E-Entered… It’s kind of embarrassing when you say it like that
A; But, basically? I can’t help but think about it
This is something I realized about myself a while ago but…
Do I have a stronger sense of virtue than most people?
Like have I been spoiled in the sense of ethics.
In the past I never thought that being on either end really mattered, but I never thought that I suited the role for being on bottom.
I participated but I always thought that males liking each other was rather normal.
I always saw that kind of thing so I guess I got used to it sort of…
I never really thought about it so deeply before but since it’s happening to me now I guess I kind of should…
R: If that’s the care then today I will be what Aoba calls “the bottom”
A: Eh? Really…!?
R: Yes
It surprises me and he says it with his normal expression so It makes me a little nervous.
Does this guy really understand what he’s saying.
He’s not saying it despite the fact he doesn’t know much about it right…
While I wallow in my anxiety Ren lays down on the bed.
S-somehow, is this flow really okay?
I somehow manage to get myself to climb on top of Ren and look down at him from above.
The bed creaks holding both our weight.
A: Then… here I go
R: Yes
I jerkily lower my head to Ren’s body.
First I’ll see what happens when I kiss his neck lightly.
A: …
I stroke his abdomen with a sweaty hand and Ren squirms a little.
R: Ha…
That sigh spurs my whole body into action, sparking my nerves.
I lick Ren’s lips and then lick a trail from his neck to his chest.
As I do so, it becomes hard to breathe and I feel the tension in the room growing.
My heart is beating a lot.
I wonder what it is. The fact that I’m doing this myself is making me rather nervous but that’s wrong too.
I wonder what it is… maybe it’s something like I can’t believe this is really happening.
Will Ren feel good like this? Is it okay?
I start thinking a lot of things like that and the pressure starts to build.
Is it cause I’m falling into the mood? Or is it because Ren is my partner?
I don’t really understand the reason but I understand that I’m awkward.
It’s not really my first time but what is this…
R: …Aoba
A: …N?
Just when I think to continue, Ren reaches out a hand to me head.
He doesn’t feel it after all…
I become anxious and look into Ren’s eyes.
A: It doesn’t feel so good?
R: …No, that’s not it but
Ren gives a troubled smile… And suddenly grabs my arm. (that didn’t last long /cries forever)
A: Uwa!!
My body is flipped over, and in a blink of an eye our positions have changed.
In front of me, I’m looking up into Ren’s face.
A: Ren…!?
Ren looks incredibly apologetic and I think something is wrong.
Like he’s holding onto some weight of eagerness…
R: I’m sorry, Aoba. It’s not that it doesn’t feel good… I just impulsively did this.
R: It seems like Aoba’s actions stirred me up.
Eh, that means…
A: You became horny?
R: …
R: …I don’t know if that’s the right way of speaking, but probably
A: …
Ren’s, horny?
I stare blankly for a second and then become incredibly happy.
Ren has always been cool and composed but I guess there are times in situations like this where a fire lights inside of him and he shows a forcible expression.
But it seems like this isn’t something Ren was expecting and I get the feeling he doesn’t really know what to do.
I can’t help but think he looks cute, and I’m happy.
The trial for me to be top failed but I can’t help but think it’s okay when I look at Ren charging forward like this.
…And in some point of time while I was thinking this Ren started kissing me and is lifting up my shirt.
One hand brushes gently across my chest and the other starts to unbuckle my belt.
Ren pulls my shirt over my head and kisses my body and then he puts one hand on top of my underwear.
A: …? …
The second Ren’s hand touches me I shudder.
But more than that I’m interested in Ren’s actions as being on the bottom now.
A: Ren…?
What’s he going to do?
Ren answers with just a gaze and leans down as he spreads my thighs.
He lowers his head a little to where he’s holding my cock in his hand.
Eh…?
Wait, seriously…!
A: Ren…!
R: Please, just stay like that
A: But… ah!
As soon as I think to move my body to escape, in front of me Ren takes my tip into his mouth.
First he licks the tip gently and then he takes the rest deep into his mouth little by little
A: U, wa…!
Before I realize it my breathing stops and shocks shiver through my veins.
It sounds like my voice is melting and I cover my mouth with one hand.
R: …fu…
A: …
I become enveloped in warm wetness and my lower body aches sweetly.
What should I do, this kind of thing…
Suddenly I start to panic and my mind goes all white.
I become extremely embarrassed by the wet sounds coming from Ren.
That Ren is licking my…
But, I never thought I would dislike it or that it would be impossible.
I’m extremely surprised and embarrassed but it’s the truth that I actually wanted Ren to do something like this to me…
Therefore, I don’t think I want to stop Ren from doing this to me…
A: Ah….
R: …n…
Ren swallows me deeply and licks me with a flicking tongue, and he starts to move, drawing my length through his mouth.
A: Ha, Ren…
I grab Ren’s hair and pull lightly and Ren stops moving to look at me.
More than usual those eyes have an urgent heat reflecting in them and it makes my heart skip a beat.
R: Does it feel good Aoba?
A: Don’t ask that kind of thing…
R: It’s important.
A: …
A: ..It feels good, if it didn’t I wouldn’t be like this…
R: I see
Ren beams a relieved smile and returns to lick me once again.
Just now was too embarrassing…
But Ren is working hard to please me. This is the first time doing this…
Thinking that, my emotions rise again.
Ren doesn’t really know how to do it so he’s a little awkward.
Sometimes I can feel his pointy teeth pricking me.  But I don’t dislike it.
I’m fine even if it hurts and I wonder if I’m some kind of masochist…
R: Ha…
Ren removes me from his mouth and turns his head to lick my length.
I open my closed eyes and look down, meeting Ren’s.
My heart leaps and I close my eyes in a fluster.
R: …
Me looking like that is funny, isn’t it. He breathes a sigh on me there.
After that he takes me deep into his mouth again.
While licking me adoringly he starts to stroke me at the base.
The sound of wetness starts to become louder and the throbbing in my lower body becomes more intense.
A: Ah fu ku… ah…
A: …fu…
Sometimes Ren slurps up his saliva mixed with the fluid dripping from my tip.
My cock is straining hard and sometimes I can’t help but jerk my hips to his movements.
The fluid that Ren doesn’t slurp up drips down my length.
Ren pulls my legs all the way out of my pants and underwear.
He hesitates a little but I don’t think he wants to stop there…
When I raise my legs on my own he pulls them out from under me and throws them to the side.
Ren scoops up a little liquid dripping from my tip and smears it across my ass.
A: …
His fingers knead into me there and a little forcibly, he enters me.
But, he’s licking me still so I don’t really feel any uncomfortableness or pain.
A: N a… ha…u…
His finger enters and exits me as he sucks on me and gradually the pleasure becomes unbearable.
The pleasure is spreading through my body and I don’t feel like I can contain myself anymore.
A: Ren… soon…ha….
R: …
I’m brought close to the edge by Ren.
Ren just looks at me silently and starts moving his head and hand more than before.
At some point the movement of his fingers inside of me has become smooth and he’s moving them violently inside of me.
A: Ren…!? U ah.. idiot, let g-…!
At this rate, inside his mouth…!
I screw my body this way and that but Ren won’t let me go.
A: …Ah…Aa…!!
I grab Ren’s hair thinking to stop him but instead I end up coming immediately.
In the end… I ended up coming in his mouth.
A: …Idiot…
Flustered I pull my hips back as I become exhausted in the after effects of coming.
Even if I do that it’s already too late, and clear liquid stretches between my cock and Ren’s mouth as I pull away.
Ren’s throat bobs and he licks his lower lip.
A: Ren, uhm…Did you swallow…?
R: Yeah
A: …What the hell are you doing…
Feeling guilty and sorry and in distress I grab Ren’s face with both of my hands.
Nothing’s started and he suddenly swallowed…
No, it’s not like I’m unhappy, and I’m incredibly happy that he went that far for me but…
It’s okay to spit out a little at least and I rub his libs with my thumb.
Then he grabs my arm and kisses my wrist.
A: W- Ren… fu
Ren kisses me with an open mouth as though he wants to attack something and entangles his tongue ferociously with mine.
Ren’s intense excitement is transferred to me in that kiss.
R: N….
That weird and bitter taste is… Mine, I guess.
I’m licking my own…
but whatever.
Ren continues indulging himself fin the kiss but it becomes hard for me to breathe so I pull away.
Acting a little spoiled, he rests his forehead on my shoulder.
R: ….I want to be inside of Aoba.
A: ….
He mutters the words in a hot breath and an intense feeling makes me jolt.
That voice is filled with extreme passion that Ren has never had before.
Ren’s frankness touches me and I’m happy that I get to learn a little bit about Ren like this.
Ren takes my hips in his hands like he’s going to change our position.
I take off my shirt and instead of answering I turn myself face down into the bed.
I pull my hips close and raise my ass high into the air.
…This position is a little bit embarrassing.
R: Aoba…
Ren, too, takes off all of his clothes and positions himself over me.
He kisses my back many times and places a large hotness in the spot where his fingers once were.
A: U n……
Ren enters me slowly.
It’s… painful after all. It’s different than being spread by his fingers.
R: Are you okay, Aoba?
Ren wraps his arm around me and strokes my chest like he’s worried.
A: ….
I sigh and nod.
It’s painful but not so much that I can’t bear it.
R: If it’s that painful then maybe it’s better to stop…
A: …
I don’t want to stop. I think that immediately.
A: It’s fine so… don’t stop…
I say the words as I gasp for air.
Even if it hurts or is painful I don’t want him to stop.
I want to go forward with Ren.
Because of that we made it here together like this.
It doesn’t matter even if my body hurts.
Because I’m happy right now.
A: All the way, properly…
R: Aoba…
Ren kisses my back again and carefully presses into me.
Because I just came I’m completely flat again and, realizing that, Ren starts kneading me with one hand.
A: N…
It feels like it tickles a little and a sweet sound comes out of me.
I breathe shallowly and wait for Ren to come all the way into me.
R: …
Ren breathes a deep sigh into my neck and stops moving.
The place where we’re connected is completely spread and I feel like I can hear a creaking sound.
But I can also feel Ren’s stomach glued tightly to my back.
This is actually the first time that Ren’s had a real body...
and it’s Sei’s.
That thought flickers in the corner of my mind.
Truthfully speaking there’s no way that that matter could completely disappear from my concern.
But right now touching Ren feels really good.
Of course the place where Ren entered hurts but, the fact that I can touch Ren in reality makes me happy and puts me at ease.
This is Ren’s heat, and the feel of Ren’s skin.
The feeling that I imagined over and over again is actually here in reality right now.
…What about Ren.
I wonder if he feels good touching me.
Once before we shared a feeling like this but there’s no way that kind of thing could happen in reality.
That’s why I wonder how Ren feels now that he has a real body.
A: Re…..!?
When I think to ask that Ren suddenly pounds into me.
He thrusts into me, holding me around the middle with one arm.
A: A m ha…! R-Ren…!?
R: …Haa…Aoba…
I feel his warm breath and a little bit of wetness from his tongue on my ear.
Ren takes my earlobe into his mouth and I shrug my shoulders when it tickles.
Surely, Ren feels good too.
Even if we don’t say it, and we can’t share our feelings silently anymore, I know.
If not, Ren’s body wouldn’t be this hot.
I strain myself so I can turn my head back a little and reach back one arm to grab Ren’s head so I can kiss him.
A: U mu…
R: Fu….
Ren moves hotly and entangles our tongues, sucks my lips, and nips at me.
While I receive that, a sweet pleasure gradually rises up inside of me from him thrusting into me.
As Ren continues to move inside of me I’m attacked by goosebumps.
A: Aa…ku ha…
R: …Aoba…
He suddenly thrusts into me hard and before I realize it I’ve broken our iss to gasp.
Has Ren… figured out the place where I responded from before?
As if he’s confident in that place, he pounds into it over and over again.
A: Ha… Ah n…
While thrusting into me Ren holds my now hot cock in his hand and starts to stroke it.
R: …Haa….
A: U ah… Aa…i…
I close my eyes and concentrate on the place where Ren is spreading me wide.
I’m feeling it so much it’s hard to breathe and tears prick the corners of my eyes.
A: Haa Ah… Fu ah….
I’m covered in sweat and suddenly Ren stops moving.
A: …?
I was pushed to the edge and now I feel like I’m waking up from a dream as I turn to look back at Ren.
Ren breathes hotly against my neck and presses his forehead against my neck.
R: …I want to properly see Aoba’s face. The face of you feeling me.
Muttering that, he grabs my shoulders.
R: Is it okay?
A: That’s…
R: If you don’t want it, Aoba, I won’t force it.
A: …
If he whispers it in such a sad voice like that… I can’t say that I don’t want it.
Basically he wants to change positions so he can see my face.
Letting him see my face while I’m feeling this is a little…
But I shouldn’t feel embarrassed to show my face now.
We’ve come this far so…
A: …
In resignation I start to turn myself over slowly so that Ren doesn’t come out from inside of me.
When I finally look at Ren’s face again, his face is flushed and his eyes are wet.
A: Ren…
I hug Ren who’s looming over me tightly with both arms and place a kiss on his cheek.
Ren licks me in an answer and starts moving again.
R: Aoba…
A: Fu…… ah…
It’s different from before, him penetrating me from the front.
Letting him see my face is embarrassing but right in front of me is Ren’s feverish face…
Seeing that as I embrace him is an extreme turn on.
A: Ren… fu ah…
A: …
While staring straight into my face Ren picks up his pace.
I chew on Ren’s lips without realizing it as intensifying pleasure creeps up on me.
I seriously feel like my face is about to burst into flame.
But Ren said he wanted to see if so I don’t want to hide it from him.
My fully hard cock nudges Ren’s stomach and our movements put more and more pressure on it.
This may be weird to say… But I feel more connected now than when we did it when I used scrap on him.
Two people have become one. That’s how I feel.
A: A u… Ku ah…!
With Ren’s movements my body slides back and forth against the sheets.
I wrap both arms around Ren’s back so at the same time I can feel Ren deep inside of me.
A: Haa ah…! Fu… ah
R: …ha…
I suddenly feel a large wave spreading inside of me as Ren pounds into me and my whole body is enveloped in numbing pleasure. I’m close to my limit.
I want to convey that to Ren so I hold him tight and dig my nails into his shoulders.
In that heat, Ren licks my nose.
A: Ren, ah… ah u… a…already…
R: Ah… haa…
I hug Ren’s head hard and hold myself ready as a huge wave overcomes me.
A: …Ah..!! Ah…!
He’s thrusting so deeply inside of me…
A: …Ua Aaa…!!
I curve as though I’m releasing myself from holding back that large wave of pleasure.
R: …
At nearly the same time as I cum Ren thrusts hard inside of me.
He holds his breath, holding me so tight it hurts…
R: U……!
It seems like Ren came too. I can feel fluid flowing into me.
A: Haa…haa…
I fix my breathing by taking deep breaths, and while gasping Ren looks into my eyes.
R: Ha…..Aoba
Looking at that face with narrowed eyes I feel like it’s more defenseless like usual and I hug his head in my arms.
A: Ha…
A deep sigh spills from my lips.
Finally, I was connected to Ren.
Thinking that a strange feeling swells in my heart.
It feels like we’ve climbed over something… But there still is a little bit of guilt and bitterness mixed with relief.
I can’t say it’s a great feeling.
But, that feeling is unbearably dear.
I think that we finally have come this far.
R: …
Ren has been holding me quietly for a while.
I feel that Ren surely has the same thoughts as me.
After staying still for a little bit Ren rubs his nose into the hair that’s splayed over my neck.
R: I can smell Aoba’s scent.
A: Well of course. Even you have your own scent.
I press my nose to Ren’s hair and take a deep breath.
R: What kind of smell?
A: Hmm… A somehow kind smell?
R: A kind smell, huh. I can’t imagine it.
Ren’s body shakes a little has he laughs.
But I can really smell a kind scent from Ren.
It’s what you would call a smell that’s close to the sun. A nostalgic, warm scent.
This scent…
I feel like I’ve smelled this scent before.
I have a feeling that Ren smelled like this when he was an all-mate, though I never really paid attention to it.
But right now Ren’s body is Sei’s.
Even so he has the same scent as before so I can’t help but think that this is Ren’s scent.
That makes me feel happy and strange at the same time and I take a deep breath of Ren’s hair.
R: Aoba, that tickles.
A: Sorry
I lift my face from being buried in Ren’s hair and press my forehead against his to stare into his eyes.
This is always the charm we do after rehabilitation so Ren shows a strange expression.
R: Aoba?
A: Because we’ll always be together.
R: …!
That’s… my true wish and my pledge to Ren.
That time when I used scrap we exchanged these words as well.
But the nuance at that time was a little different.
It meant that even if we couldn’t hold each other again, I would still have Ren in my heart.
It’s different now.
Ren is here, and we’ll be together tomorrow and the day after.
Of course not only good things will happen and there are still things that we will worry about and that will trouble us.
Even so I decided that I would be with Ren.
That’s why I vow it once again.
I do it with this special ceremony that we’ve done since he was an all-mate.
And I speak the following words.
The words that we have always said, mine and Ren’s.
A: Thank you, always.
Ren smiles softly as an answer to that.
R: Same here.