An Early Winter Evasion

										「An Early Winter Evasion」
												　LlorenR
												03/13/2016

"You can't do this to me!" Chun shouted across the room, holding his Kirino dakemakura tightly to him, but making sure not to suffocate or hurt her as he fixed his eyes on Coopa.
"You can't make me choose between her and you. Its not fair!"

"Oh you'll do it, or my name isn't "Slam my face in expired cake Coopa!", and you might not call it fair, but life isn't fair! It doesn't all go according to *Chunkaku!", Coopa retorted as he backhanded the nearest of his 500 fighting game cabinets in the house, causing an instant Flawless Victory 5 Round K.O  for the next 20 matches in his favor.
(Translator note: Chunkaku means "Chun's Plan")

The argument raged on, far too long had Chun held onto his pillow in the middle of the night, his back turned to Coopa, night after night, whispering "sweet muffins" over and over to Kirino, completely ignoring all of Coopa's advances. Their relationship had turned sour, and Coopa knew - deep within his soul - that that soul-less abomination had to go.

After an hour of he said, he said - they sat in in a moment of silence.
Until Kirino spoke.

"I don't dislike you Coopa, I think you're a nice guy, I just like spending all my time with Chun-kun."  The body pillow bounced side to side in Chun's arms as Chun spoke out of the side of his mouth in a high pitched voice.

"....Are you serious?!", Coopa stared blankly at the scenario transpiring before him.

"I'm very serious Coopa, Chun-Kun is very nice to me and I feel bad for making you jealous.", Chun continued to impersonate Kirino with the body pillow in hand.

"...It's a pillow, Chun! It can't talk! She doesn't even know your birthday! You can't be serious right now. When is the last time she baked you a cake and slammed her face in it!? When is the last time she held your hand and skipped through a convention with you!? Does she straighten your tie when its crooked? Does she tell you how cute you look in your yukata!? Pillow or not, I will not lose to that....that....ANGRY BITTER WIDOWMAKER!  I love you Chun, and I know she'll NEVER love you as much as I do!" Coopa stood up from his Totoro beanbag chair, jumped up on the kotatsu, and ripped his button up shirt off to reveal the shirt underneath that read "NO CHUNFU NO LOVEFU" before he dropped to one knee."

Immediately Chun looked at Kirino, slapped her across the face and pushed her away, disgusted by her behaviour, and quickly joined Coopa on the kotatsu, dropping to one knee as well. They both reached into their back pockets and pulled out their Weiβ Schwarz decks and proposed to one another, saying "I'd happily play against you every day."  before embracing each other tight, and they played Weiβ Schwarz all throughout the night.

The end.