Hans Asperger was a Nazi.
The increase of ‘diagnoses’ of Asperger’s increased by 30% in 1988; the same year the film Rain Man was released.
Asperger’s Syndrome is commonly diagnosed alongside ADHD, another fad disorder.
Diagnoses of the syndrome come alongside reports of socially awkward behaviour, as well as increased intellect. These go hand in hand not because a child is deformed, but because nerds are not taught social skills.
Asperger’s is merely a mindset. You are not a sufferer if you choose not to be.
People with ‘Asperger’s’ are unable to make eye contact not because of social anxiety, but for fear of exposing their lack of a soul.
Asperger’s is a conditioned variation of ADHD, minus the possible side effects and required paperwork for Ritalin.
Apart from having another, better, replacement child, there is no way to rid your house of the evil born into it. Such is the curse of the Asperger.
 Asperger’s has no reported cure, much like cancer, which has been around for millennia.
No child with Asperger’s will feel shame for their ultimate failings; rather, they will embrace it, believing themselves to be unique.
Hans Asperger’s “little professors” were merely children allowed to wear lab coats and test dangerous chemicals upon one another. They were called the “Asperger Eight”. This figure quickly diminished to six, and then three, until only Fritz V. remained.
There is no higher functioning form of autism. That is why it is termed “autism” and not “normality.”
 Asperger patients will engage you in long spiels about themselves not because of any inherent misconfigured neurofunction, but because they care more about themselves than they do you.
The only way to combat Asperger’s is to take away their routine, outlet, and source of sunlight until they learn to conform to society’s standards.
Asperger, in late 18th century Austria, was slang for the common American word ‘sucker’, a play on its deceiving techniques and shameless fraudulence.