Open Letter To Squidsoft Staff And Players of Star Conquest

An Open Letter to Squidsoft Staff and the Players of Star Conquest



First of all, let me start by saying that I will miss this place. In part because for me, it’s like the book you just can’t put down. The issue with that is, the book never ends. That isn’t a bad thing, but I tend to have an addictive personality. I sink myself into something, whether it’s reading, working, writing, making things, watching movies, or something else, and I can’t pull myself away. The thing I’ve most sunk myself into becomes what I crave when I wake up and what I think about as I fall asleep. This is my own issue, nothing to do with this place or the people here. The other reason is because this is overall a great place. It’s somewhere with an amazing story and background already written, that we as players help continuously write the story, through every mundane action. It’s a place where you can fully immerse yourself in a character you create and forget about all the shitty things in your current life or your history. What helps that happen is the very high standards for roleplay that staff have set up. I have always felt that way. Being able to immerse myself in it was a huge draw. No reminders of the outside world with people only being themselves and chatting about what’s happening in the real world. Maybe if I’d started in a place other than here, I wouldn’t have gotten so over-involved. But I did. And eventually it all crashed and burned. There are several reasons for that, that I’d like to talk about for a bit. Lindsey compared how I write to Jason’s diatribes once. So here is my diatribe.



Staff have said countless times that they don’t want there to be a formula for how to write an acceptable concept, profile, get a starship application approved, or anything else. While I get that, because I’ve seen what they’ve seen and even done it myself, it creates a divide. Something this game is overall very good at: dividing the player base. You see, there may not be an actual formula, instead there’s a secret recipe kept tightly secured within the squidmind. A player doesn’t have to hit the nail on the head with the secret sauce, so to speak, but they have to get the ingredients right, even if the proportions aren’t correct. But if I’ve never tasted or even seen the secret sauce before, I can’t know that it’s made of something like ketchup, A1 sauce, mustard, and soured milk, with a myriad of herbs and spices thrown in. But it seems there are those who have tasted the sauce. They know the basics, even if they use almost all ketchup and leave out the sour milk, they’re close enough that it’s acceptable. But there are those of us who have no idea that it isn’t a fruity sauce. We think that maybe it’s made of reduced apple, pear, and orange juices, with sugar and cinnamon. Sure, we’ve been told it’s a sauce, and even that it can be used on meat. But for the rest, we’re left to our own devices to guess what will cut the mustard. Sure, there are those that don’t even realize it’s a sauce and try to make candy or a casserole. And they’re at a distinct disadvantage. But those of us that know it’s sauce but have never tasted it feel like we’re trying to pass a test where we’ve never seen the material before. I can’t take a physics final if no one has ever shown me what physics is, much less given me a study guide. So, what does staff want? They don’t want cookie-cutter characters, they want thematic, but I discovered recently that even some long-term players who think they know what will work, don’t. Either that or there actually is favoritism and while an identical something may come from one player, it’s not good enough, but if it had come from another player it would be. I hope that isn’t the case. I hope it’s that even the top chefs sometimes still make salad instead of sauce. This applies to events and plot arcs as well. I truly feel for the AEU players. I recently was shown a post from one of them on the AEU common knowledge board. I know another personally. And I understand the frustration. How do you get yourself out of a situation when you feel you’ve tried everything? Run out of ideas? How do you figure out how to fix this thing, that in some instances, was started before you even began playing the game? When you’ve run out of options what do you do? This would be a great opportunity for staff to, instead of waiting on someone to get the sauce right, let those involved know, we’re looking for a ketchup-based sauce with some other tangy ingredients. Maybe it’s, find something to do as a group that makes a wave, but not too big of a wave. And the issue comes up, didn’t we try that? Staff have admitted to making some RP mistakes with the AEU arc and even the direction of the game. So how about, as many tabletop DM’s would, give some options. And let the players decide what course of action they want to take so they don’t feel like the rest of the game will shit on them, no matter what they do.



And now we come to a hot-button topic. I know a lot of SC players. I would hazard a guess that the number is in the thirties. Both active players, semi-active players, rarely-connected players, and former players – those who won’t come back because of one thing or another. And with all the players I know, I have heard one repeating theme over and over and over. “Staff have favorites. And if you’re not one of them, you get nothing.” I have fought this assertion since I started playing and the friend who got me started playing told me that I was a host favorite, and another told me that one day I would be the next new host. You see, I knew better. Sure, I was involved in certain things. In part because an “upper crust” player, or one perceived as such, got me involved in things. I still don’t know why. I’ve been told that it was because that player/character wanted to mold my character in their image. Was this true? I have no idea. Did that character in part mold who mine would become? Absolutely. I had never roleplayed before in any capacity. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, right? Anyway, I’m rambling, back to the point. If you ask any player in this game, is there host favoritism, there are probably only a few who will tell you there isn’t. Everyone has their favorite everything. Even I have my own favorite characters. And I base mine on the same thing that staff has said they do. Who is a good roleplayer? But the problem comes in determining what a good roleplayer actually is. I asked a question on the board some time ago and I think received two answers. I never posted mine, as I was hoping more people would chime in. I know that there are players who feel being able to write emotes that go on for three screens makes you a good roleplayer. Or being able to turn on your ooc friends because it’s what your character would do. Personally, I believe it means not playing just yourself and having a believable character. Someone you can get to know them in the roleplaying environment and think to yourself, ‘This is someone that I could meet on the street or that could work at my job.’ Doesn’t mean you have to like the character, or that the character has to write out every time they scratch an itch, it just means you can imagine them as a real person. Oddly enough, that’s how I discovered a host character. The one time they seemed real to me. Yes, I realized because they acted more like themselves, but the key was they suddenly seemed real. (Don’t ask, not telling). I could be wrong in this, but I think I’ve figured out the divide. The thing that separates the haves from the have-nots. It’s similar to “being able to turn on your ooc friends because it’s good roleplay,” but not quite. It’s being able to turn on anyone. Being able to be the jerk in the room. Being willing to tear down someone else for your own gain, and therefore causing drama. Because staff has said that while they appreciate how difficult it is for individual players when we have a “pilot mob justice” situation, connections skyrocket. And the bottom line is, that’s a good thing. Higher number of connected players attracts even more new players when the stats hit the various MUD listing sites. If you’ve ever been a recipient of this, especially if my character participated in some way, my apologies. Because while it’s never happened to me, I know how it feels on a smaller scale. When there’s even one character that you just can’t make things go easier with. So, look at the characters you feel have everything. And look at the characters who can’t seem to get anywhere. What difference do you see? Do the ones who can’t seem to get anywhere tend to walk all over others? Do they find a target and not let up? Do they stir up things with no care to how another character would be hurt by it? There are the host favorites. Was I one? No. Could I have my character act like a full-on jerk at times? Absolutely. So, I didn’t exactly have nothing. But I certainly didn’t have what some do.



This wasn't a part of the original thing I wrote, but in doing some thinking, I believe it deserves to be here. A couple times I've thought about who gets included in events, how many players get involved, and how many times players don't get involved at all. Maybe there's things I just don't know about. Maybe decisions that cause events and events themselves really do include more players, or include players where things are kept secret. We know this happens anyway. The playerbase has this thing about keeping things quiet that creates yet another divide. Those who know the things that are kept quiet, and those who don't (the majority). However, I'm getting off track again. Let's take the recent EAOS missions. There were two of them. One included 28 players. That's great! Now look at the other one. While 11 people were on the ship where the Jinu was brought back, only 3 were actually involved in the event. In fact, NPCs apparently instructed those involved not to include too many people. While the League-Merry Band plot arc started out with a vote by show of hands by those present at a League meeting, it quickly became three players involved. Interestingly enough, those three players weren't even the ones who started the ball rolling. All the AEU stuff started with a vote that the entire AEU playerbase at the time (nearly two years ago now) had a say in, everything since then, with very few exceptions, have include no players at all. And back to the Jinu plot, where is the Jinu? That ended for the players and then the rest was left to staff to roleplay with themselves. Think back to Akemi Bando and the money laundering thing. The League corps was up in arms. A few things involved the players. And then all of a sudden, the players who had been involved were excluded and decisions were made without them. Again, staff roleplaying with themselves. The failing of the Fwoof-Foom mission wasn't that the crews left quickly. It was that staff roleplayed with themselves. Didn't involve the crews in the decision-making. It was an NPC that cut the mission short. It was an NPC that gave the order (as it were) to get out of there. And players had no choice in the matter.



And now my next issue. And in the end, I think the second to top reason I’m leaving the game, the top being I feel I became addicted and need to quit cold turkey for my own well-being. I’ve noticed something, and I know staff have noticed it too, because it’s been mentioned. In this game, it’s a common thing for those who have it all, want even more. Not only that, but it seems like those who are in the process of getting more feel they’re still being shafted by the staff. Just about anyone who can’t read a starchart will tell you that this is the main thing that separates the haves from the have-nots. If those who have the ability and can teach don’t want to teach you, you will never have it. Staff have said there are other ways, and that lessons are not how you learn to chart, but the playerbase doesn’t believe that. And when it comes down to it, what other ways are there? If you’re a host character, you disappear to an unreg station for a few months where you learn to chart. But who else is that available to? Certainly, the way isn’t keeping a detailed log book of where space features are, or there would be several more chart readers than there are. It’s not asking for lessons and expressing an interest, and it’s not saying that while you would like to learn, it’s not all that hugely important to you. And we’re back to the secret sauce. But even some of those who can chart want more. People in this game who have top tier special ships, charting ability, charts, even special appointments…still compare themselves to others who have more and feel they’ve been shafted. No matter they may have had and succeeded in what could be the most important mission since the game re-opened. “They would have never given that mission to characters they like better.” I don’t want to become like that. So, I’m going to quit while I’m ahead. Please remember that while one person may have missed out on breakfast, someone else who hasn’t eaten in three days is probably hungrier, even though you’re hungry too. I don’t want to become the player whose character has a starchart and knows how to read it but can’t read every starchart or teach, has the highest tier of one ship, the second highest of another, but not the top, a special appointment with not one, but two special missions, even though one of them felt like a bust, and still want more and feel like I’ve been passed over.



There is another thing that separates the haves and the have-nots. And that’s balance changes. I don’t have any better ideas, by the way. But what I know is that someone who comes in as a new player today will struggle more to reach where someone who has been here two years is now once they’ve been here two years. I know balance corrections are necessary, but I also know they make things easier on older players who were able to ‘get more, easier’ than the newer players post the change. From my place as someone whose character benefited from pre-probe exploration, I can say that those who have come in since then will have a much harder time getting to where my character was in the same amount of time. Because now you have these players that are pushing six-digit exploration points who can get most everything when it comes out and make points easier than someone who came in after the change. Because while one of these ‘have-it-all’ characters can run a trip and take lower point tier characters, the lower tier character doesn’t benefit from the 8k exploration probes hardly at all…even though the 8k exploration character didn’t need to benefit from someone else’s advanced upgrades because everyone was treated equally. Speaking of haves and have-nots, let me throw in a little tidbit. Nearly everyone has access to a highly capable exploration ship. Unfortunately, the AEU characters didn’t know the secret recipe, so they no longer have that. But the tactical platform is a capable ship, albeit inconvenient as I don’t know what. Look, hosts. I get you want to keep people from taking a huge exploration ship out alone. You want to encourage them to roleplay. That’s all well and good. But unless you start providing a ship that can just be launched without borrowing from Tom, Dick, and Harry and having to deal with not being able to even undock it from a carrier on the ground, landing it on the ground, needing other people to help you upgrade it, to the characters that have proven in the past that their interest actually is roleplaying and have taken people out responsibly, then you will have resentment about ships and the recipe for the secret sauce will remain a mystery.



Now here is where I lay my soul bare. Where I say that I am responsible for my own end. In the last few months, especially, I have heard the line, “Everyone metagames, we might as well.” Guess what? Metagaming hurts the roleplaying environment. And it hurts the players involved. While what was done may have seemed harmless at the time, being a fly on the wall for conversations you shouldn’t know about, even if they don’t impact your character’s behavior, in the end has a negative effect. I’m nosy. I know this about myself. So, I didn’t think about the harm that this kind of thing could cause. Especially considering that when it started, my character and the friend’s character made the attempt to talk and tell the other what was going on. But over time, for reasons unknown, that stopped happening. And the two characters drifted apart. In the end, they didn’t have a reason to remain friends, because the players knew everything about the other character, and conversations the other character had had when they weren’t around. And it was through this that I found out the disdain other characters had for mine. Did I try to keep my character consistent and not react to what I knew was being said? Yes. Did I succeed? Honestly, I’m not quite sure. In a way it’s fortunate that I realized what was happening, how bad and insidious this really was. After receiving a response from staff to a support in which my character was trying to do something, I admitted to the friend that I’d received an answer to a support I’d been waiting on and was getting things together in-character. I was told that if my character was doing this with one other character, then people were going to get upset. That the friend’s character knew the information I was after and that I should just have mine ask that character. I told the friend that I didn’t care if others got upset, I’m doing what my character would do. I asked the friend to stop. Several times. I even got loud (which I regret). In the end, was it the friend’s fault it went that far? Partially. But it’s also mine. What blew my mind was that the next morning when I was upset about it and mentioned to the friend that it had bothered me that they told me what my character should do, the response I got was, “I was just talking like we always do.” It was then that I realized how slippery that slope had become and how far we’d both fallen down it. Yes, I know people metagame. I know a lot of them that do. I could list names, but I won’t. Because this isn’t about all of you. It’s about me and my part in this mess that I made. Sure, I would imagine at least 50% of the playerbase metagames on a regular basis. I’m not talking about the occasional bitch session when something the hosts do gets on your nerves. I’m talking about one player telling another that they’ll work something out for another. Or saying, “If you ask my character, they’ll help you.” Or telling each other about conversations their character doesn’t know about. Or posting on social media what’s going on while you’re out of comms so that people can see it back in comms. Sure, our characters may not knowingly act on information we shouldn’t have. We think we can separate. But mistakes are made. And at least for me, ignorance would have been bliss. I just didn’t realize it at the time.



And so now all these things have built up, come together, and I’m saying good-bye. I’m moving on with my life. Because I’m not as thick-skinned or as healthy a person as I wish I were. And I don’t blame anyone but myself in the end, even though I see the issues that led up to all this. In the end, it’s still on me. That I participated in things, that I didn’t step back when I really should have before. I wish you all luck, and I hope that the same thing that’s happened to me doesn’t happen to you…where a game ruins a relationship that you thought would last forever and you realize things have been going downhill for a long time. Good luck to all of you and to all of your characters.