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Jun 25th, 2019
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  1. using Discord.Commands;
  2. using Discord.WebSocket;
  3. using System;
  4. using System.Collections.Generic;
  5. using System.Text;
  6. using System.Threading.Tasks;
  7.  
  8. namespace ShitpostBot
  9. {
  10. public class Roasts : ModuleBase
  11. {
  12. [Command("roast")]
  13. public async Task RektAsync([Remainder] string echo)
  14. {
  15. string user = "" + echo;
  16.  
  17. int part1 = new Random().Next(0, 41);
  18.  
  19. switch (part1)
  20. {
  21. case 0:
  22. user += " has a micropenis.";
  23. break;
  24. case 1:
  25. user += " has an IQ of 6. ";
  26. break;
  27. case 2:
  28. user += " needs serious help.";
  29. break;
  30. case 3:
  31. user += " is awake past his bedtime.";
  32. break;
  33. case 4:
  34. user += " plays Fortnite.";
  35. break;
  36. case 5:
  37. user += " is so cheap he won't even tip his hat.";
  38. break;
  39. case 6:
  40. user += " 's birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.";
  41. break;
  42. case 7:
  43. user += " uses a sniper rifle in GTA";
  44. break;
  45. case 8:
  46. user += " listens to nightcore unironically. ";
  47. break;
  48. case 9:
  49. user += "'s dad's condom broke. ";
  50. break;
  51. case 10:
  52. user += " eats nachos without any dip. ";
  53. break;
  54. case 11:
  55. user += " has a 3Head.";
  56. break;
  57. case 12:
  58. user += " can't even lift. ";
  59. break;
  60. case 13:
  61. user += " thinks Hitler is cool. ";
  62. break;
  63. case 14:
  64. user += " plays with hot wheels on weekends for fun. ";
  65. break;
  66. case 15:
  67. user += " doesn't look both ways when they cross the street. ";
  68. break;
  69. case 16:
  70. user += " can not count to 10. ";
  71. break;
  72. case 17:
  73. user += " failed preschool. ";
  74. break;
  75. case 18:
  76. user += " plays the Wii without a safety strap. ";
  77. break;
  78. case 19:
  79. user += " plays AP Yasuo support. ";
  80. break;
  81. case 20:
  82. user += " digs straight down. ";
  83. break;
  84. case 21:
  85. user += " leaves angry youtube comments. ";
  86. break;
  87. case 22:
  88. user += " spams 'I NEED HEALING' ";
  89. break;
  90. case 23:
  91. user += " is a teemo main. ";
  92. break;
  93. case 24:
  94. user += " thinks minecraft is scary. ";
  95. break;
  96. case 25:
  97. user += " is so ugly that face scanners can't recognize their face. ";
  98. break;
  99. case 26:
  100. user += " uses Skype instead of Discord. ";
  101. break;
  102. case 27:
  103. user += " prefers light mode. ";
  104. break;
  105. case 28:
  106. user += " blasts their speakers in public on max volume. ";
  107. break;
  108. case 29:
  109. user += " adds an uncomfortable amount of ranch on their pizzas. ";
  110. break;
  111. case 30:
  112. user += " is stuck in the nether ";
  113. break;
  114. case 31:
  115. user += " can't speak our language. They only speak idiot. ";
  116. break;
  117. case 32:
  118. user += " has a 10$ laptop and lags in minesweeper. ";
  119. break;
  120. case 33:
  121. user += " still uses internet explorer. ";
  122. break;
  123. case 34:
  124. user += "'s password is 123. ";
  125. break;
  126. case 35:
  127. user += " has a brain smaller than an ant. ";
  128. break;
  129. case 36:
  130. user += " uses a spongebob night light. ";
  131. break;
  132. case 37:
  133. user += " does not know the alphabet. ";
  134. break;
  135. case 38:
  136. user += " is so dumb they get lost in supermarkets. ";
  137. break;
  138. case 39:
  139. user += " went to the zoo recently, as the animal. ";
  140. break;
  141. case 40:
  142. user += " has the body of a 70 year old, but the brain of a 7 year old. ";
  143. break;
  144. case 41:
  145. user += " uses their hands to wipe their shit. ";
  146. break;
  147. }
  148. await ReplyAsync(user + "");
  149.  
  150. }
  151. [Command("roast")]
  152. public async Task RektAsync()
  153. {
  154. await ReplyAsync("I can't roast this guy because he doesn't exist.");
  155.  
  156. }
  157. }
  158.  
  159.  
  160.  
  161. }
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