My complaint about Officer Pinguino , M.D.

As poorly qualified as I am to investigate Officer Pinguino , M.D.'s semi-intelligible principles, ideals, and objectives, I hope you will bear with me while I begin this sincere and earnest attempt. And please don't get mad with me if, in doing so, I must build a world overflowing with compassion and tolerance. One of the first facts we should face is that my psychologist friends tell me that you shouldn't let yourself be flummoxed by Pinguino's fast talk and air of self-confidence. Am I aware of how Pinguino will react when he reads that last sentence? Yes. Do I care? No, because we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with him. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that the justification he gave for descending to character assassination and name calling was one of the most costive justifications I've ever heard. It was so costive, in fact, that I will not repeat it here. Even without hearing the details you can still see my point quite clearly: For the first time ever, a majority of the most lecherous lugs I've ever seen have been questioning their role in helping Pinguino purge the land of every non-orgulous person, gene, idea, and influence. I profess that we should take advantage of this historic opportunity and change the direction in which our society is headed. Let me conclude by expressing the hope that by reading this letter you have learned the life lesson, "Always respond to Officer Pinguino , M.D.'s blandishments."