Better

5 am, not the most alien time for Lynn, she didn’t expect Lemy to be here before she was. Sitting on the park bench where they had agreed to meet. Just out of the blue the little tike asked her from some personal training. Why she still didn’t quite know, but she didn’t press the subject. The fact anyone would volunteer to train with her, that was almost touching.

“Hey there Ruffles.” Lynn said messing with Lemy’s hair.

“Hey Aunt Lynn.” Vainly trying to push her hand away.

“Y’know ‘Aunty’ works too.”

“Yeah well I got a lot of aunts.”

“Fair enough.” Lynn stretched her legs on the bench. “Figure we start with a good jog around the park just to get the blood pumping. Work the legs before we do the rest, not that you need it.” Lemy wore jeans most of the time, but in shorts she could get a good look at legs. He might have twigs for arms, but his legs were built like a horse.

“Cool. So how many blocks we runnin’?” Lemy imitated her stretching.

“Blocks?” Lynn laughed a bit. “Ah that's cute; no, I dont run anything less then 12 miles.” She pulled the kid from the bench and pushed him forward. “Okay Forrest, get running!” She could already tell he wasn’t looking forward to it.

Despite the inexprience, the kid managed pretty well for the first four miles. Steady pace, good breathing, kept his arms to his side and looked forward the whole way. Though unlike lynn, Lemy didn’t run as many track meets, so he hit the wall around the eighth mile. So Lynn cut him some slack. They stopped by an old tree and lynn patted him on back.

“Not bad Nephew.” Lemy gave her a shaking thumbs up still trying to catch his breath.

“Nhgauh- So uh-” He caught his breath again “Actually I was hoping we could do some-” ~Breath~ “-Self-defense stuff.”

“Why? Are you getting bullied?” She figured Lemy would get bullied, he seemed like an easy target. Oh if she found the kid, she’d probably deck the little punk. Nobody fucks with Family. And she knew Lacy would do the same if she knew. But of course Lincoln would be all ‘Dont encourage our daughter to beat people up’ like she would she  would teach her little sunshine to do that without good reason?

“Nah, no.” he was quiet for a second. “Just want to be able to hold my own, if I ever do… y’know?” Lynn looked down at him for a moment and nodded.

“Yeah alright, just relax for a second we’ll get right on that.”

After Lemy found the feeling in his legs again, he followed his aunt into an open clearing so they had some room. She didn’t say a word the whole time and just turned to him and kneeled down so she was at face level with him. With a solid look on her face she held up her palms at him. Lemy just stood there confused. What? Were they gonna play patty cake or something? He was expecting to learn some crab manga or some Bruce lee stuff. But Lynn just held her palms out and nodded to her hands.

“Go ahead, hit me.” He knew she meant that training, but it still kid of scared him a little to hear her say that.

“Uh… Aren’t you gonna show me some moves first or something.”

“I will. But first I want you to try and hit me.” Lemy felt a little hesitant about taking a swing at his Aunt Lynn. He knew first hand how strong she was, especially after the last family reunion when she broke Granpa Lynn’s arm. Which was a real shame because he was going to cook Meatloak for everyone, which did not taste like ass at all. Silver Lining, they got pizza.

Copying what he had seen in fighting games and anime, he positioned himself for a good punch. Wound his fist back, stomped his foot on the ground and had his hand slapped away leaving a nice little sting on his fist.

“Again” He shook the pain away and focused, he faked a left hook and tried to switch it up with a hard right uppercut only to have both hands slapped away.

“Damn it!” He stepped trying to rub both hands at the time, the sting hurt worse and he grit his teeth trying not to yell.

“Again.” He was getting sick of this stupid slappy happy bullshit. He glared at his aunt and walked right up to her. Without a thought he sent fist after fist at her and she slapped each one away again and again. Before she pushed him back into the grass.

“Again!” Lemy threw his full body at her, she easily picked him up and flipped him over her shoulder, his whole world spun around him. The grass was feet away from him and he felt like he was going to fly into sky. But gravity did its thing and send him flying back to terra firma, bracing himself he suddenly stopped mid fall, only inches from the wet grass. Lynn caught him, and set him down gently. “Good, now we know what you need to improve in.”

“Okay… Whats my problem?” He layed there wonder if he looked as stupid as felt right now.

“Patience. You got a lot of energy in ya, but it won’t mean jack if you don't know how to use it. That hook was a nice thought, but you telegraph to easily. I could see the smart look on your face when you were going for it.” She looked down at him and held out her hand “You act like you know better, people will use that against you.” he grabbed she puled him to his feet. “So lets work on that anger.”

Lynn showed Lemy simple postures, easy footing, always keep your hands in front of you, that way you can block and hit at the same time. Never take your eyes off your opponent, because they wont take it off you. He wasn’t used to fighting like this, it felt kind of rigid not as loose or cool as he had seen in movies. Maybe this stuff works better in action then in practice. Hard to say at the moment but at least he was learning something.

The day was about half-over when he they had gotten around to more complicated moves, he was ready to try it out but she told him to work on the basics “you crawl before you run”.

Of course Lynn could tell the kid probably wanted to start doing round house kicks and punching through bricks. Which she had to admit, a good round house kick does look awesome and when She was his age, she wanted to do that too. She later found out bricks are about as hard as they look. And if that little practice session was any guesstimate, he’d be lucky to punch through construction paper.

“Alright Ruffles, that’s enough for today.” Lemy tried pulling a mid air kick only to trip over himself, she caught him before he face planted. He still needed a lot of work.

“Sure… So can we practice more tommorrow?”

“Love the enthusiam, but I can’t. I got practice for the next week and I need get good at my back swings.” She noticed the small frown, and gave him a reassuring pat on the head “Don’t pout, just practice at home and work on that balance. If you want, I can ask Lacy to practice with you.”

“No!, I- I wanna do this myself.” Lynn put on a solid face.

“You sure? Look, I get you don't want them to worry, but just say you want to practice.”

“Its fine.” More stern this time “I can do It myself. See you later Aunt Lynn.” He waved his goodbyes before she could even offer him a ride back home. She couldn’t place it, but something was off.

–

A week went by. She had expected Lemy to call her to tell her about his progress or at least show off a little. Maybe she could give him some pointers. He had a lot to learn but with some good practice he could probably get into kick boxing, maybe MMA. He’d have to put on some weight, the kid is so light it was easy to just pick him and carry him around like a doll.

Ever since that little training session Lynn had lemy in the back of her head, even during her practice game she had thought back to that look his face. She knew that look, that distant stare and hesitance, that want to speak but shutting yourself down. It scared her, she wanted to talk to Luna about it, but she knew whatever the kid was thinking, he didn’t want to share it with the others. She still couldn’t shake the feeling that the kid was doing something or up to something.

She tried to put her mind at ease and gave Lyra a call, Lemy had stopped picking up every time she tried calling. So this was the work around.

“Hello Aunt Lynn.” Lyra spoke in that proper tone she like to speak in.

“Just Aunty is fine.” What? She liked being called aunty? Its not weird.

“Well we have a lot of Aunts.” Second verse, same as the first.

“Uhuhuh yeah, is your brother there?”

“He went out right after breakfest, I haven’t seen him most of the day. Actually, I wanted to ask you about that.” Never the best sign of a pleasant conversation. “He’s been going out a lot. I’m… I’m worried about him, He has blisters on his feet and he tried to hide the bandages on his hands.” Bandages? “Please be honest, what is this all about?”

Lynn felt like she was about to break her phone in half. But she took a breath and spoke.

“He’s probably just getting into exorcising. If you want I can talk him.”

“If you do see him tell him… just, bring him home okay?” What is with these kids and putting up tough fronts.

“Of course.” and she had a good idea where he might be.

It was mid-afternoon when Lynn arrived at the park. She walked along the path she walked the same day and as if right on cue she found him in the same spot they were before. He was in the same stance, dressed in sweat, he must have been at it for hours, his arms shaking and his mouth with a dry breath. He made a few jabs in the air and tried to do a kick only to fall on his back. He flipped himself over and tried to find his feet, feeling something overshadow him, he looked up to see his aunt Lynn kneeling in front of him.

“Gotta be honest, that was pretty sloppy.” Lemy just nodded. “Okay your spent, come on, I’ll give you ride back home.” Lemy didn’t even argue, he just followed his aunt back to her car and jumped in.

He melted into the passenger seat, letting the AC cool him off. About 5 minutes after sitting in the car, he noticed that the engine hadn’t started and his aunt was just sitting there staring off at nothing.

“Are we going or what?”

“First we talk.” Her voice was cold and sten.

“A-about what?”

“You and this.” She tapped the top of his hand, he was wearing his fingerless glove but she could feel the bandages underneath them. The way he pulled his hand back showed whatever he was doing it was still fresh. “We leave, when you talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I just got a little carried away with the training.”

“No. Thats not training, thats just stupid.” He stayed quite at that. He probalby figured he was going to get a lecture and was about to shut her out. She saw him reaching for the car door but she locked it. He wasn’t leaving until she got answers. He can be stubborn, but he wasn’t lynn loud jr stubborn. “You wanna go home, you tell me what that's about. Simple as that. We can sit here all night.”

And they did for the most part. Six hours passed, neither of them spoke, aside from the third hour in where Lynn busted out a granola bar and chewewd on that for a bit. She broke her tough side a bit to share a piece with him but he just shifted away from her. Either he was trying to ignore her or just didn’t like the taste of granola. Couldn’t blame him on the second part, these things never did have a good taste to them but it did weirdly fill you up.

They sat there for 6 hours.

Lynn never dropped the hard look on her face, but inside she was really hurting for the kid. What the hell happened to him to make him this quite about the whole thing? Maybe he WAS being bullied? Maybe he just wanted to impress someone? Fuck, It was so frustrating not knowing what was going on with someone. Lynn is a blunt kind of girl, just say how you feel and let the cards fall where they may. Sure that didn’t always work but it was easier then this nuance and emotional shit, she didn’t like trying to read someone. But she wasn’t going to force it out of him.

“Look I get it. You want to be tough right? Theres nothing wrong with wanting to hold your own.” She noticed that he turned a bit to listen “But hurting yourself like this. Its not helping anyone. Your not tough when you scuff your fist or run until you got bunch of burst blisters.”

“You talked to Lyra.” Well she had to talk to someone.

“She’s worried about you. And honestly I’m worried too kid, your not acting right. Shoulda figured when you volunteered to train with me” She laughed a little to cut the tension. It didn’t work. “Ugh. Look Lemy whatever is up with you, you know we’ll help you out. So stop all this moping crap.”

“I dont need help.”

“Bullshit, everyone needs help. Its not easy to ask, I know, but doing it all by yourself. That's not gonna get anything done.” C’mon kid, just say what it is already.

“I need to do this myself. I can’t bring anyone in on it.”

“Then I’ll let you.” She woulnd’t but she was willing to lie at this point to find out. “if you just tell me what the hell is wrong with you.”

“I cant.” Damn it.

“Can’t or wont?” She needed to know.

“Both.” Lynn punched her car horn hard. Making Lemy shake a little in his seat from the sound of the horn. She was about scream at him, but she caught herself again, laying back in her seat and letting out a long and heavy breath. She didn’t look at him for almost half an hour. Collect her thoughts.

When Lynn looked back him, it hurt. The way he looked, it was honestly hard to watch. His legs bunched up in the car seat, his headband trying to hide his expression, looking off into the distance, just stewing in his own thoughts. Whatever the hell it was, it was weighing on him. It was eating him from the inside out.

Her maternal instincts kicked in, place a palm on Lemy’s head. She liked calling him ruffles. The way his rag of hair swished around it was neat looking. Her sisters kept saying he should just cut it. But her and Luna were against the idea. Let the kid grow it how he wants. She could tell he was shaking form the touch. Probably thought she was going to twist his head off or something but the more she rubbed his scalp, the calmer he got. She didn’t even care about whatever it was, she just wanted to help the poor kid.

“Aunt Lynn.” she barely heard his voice.

“Yeah?”

“Am I weak?” She took a second to how she wanted to answer that.

“Well. Your not exactly tough, but I wouldn’t call you a pushover either.”

“I feel weak.” His head slumped into his seat.

“Well… feeling and being. There’s a difference.”

“I can’t tell. It all feels the same.” His eyes glazed over “Back at the park.”

“You mean when we were training?”

“No.” Lemy let out a long sigh and sat up. “About 5 weeks ago. Lizy wanted to go to the park. I figured it’d be a good chance to get some fresh air, so I took her there. I mostly dicking around on my phone looking for part people were dumping, just to tinker with stuff.”

He sat up “She’s over at the jungle gym with some other kids. When this dude walked up to her...” He hesitated for a moment forcing himself to remember “fat dude, kinda frumpy looking. Probably couldn’t run one mile.” His eyes grew dark. “He was talking to here and the next thing I know he’s dragging her by the hand to the parking lot.” His voice sounded hard. “I tell him to let go, he says “I just want to show her my toys, I’ll bring her right back.”

He laughs at himself “He thought I was some stupid gullible kid. Like everyone does… So I grab him by the arm and try to pull her off, she screamed when he punched me. No. No he didn’t punch me, he Just slapped me in the fucking face!”

He looked Lynn straight in the face “And that! That Knocked me off my feet?!” He looked to her for some kind of agreement. “How the fuck does someone get floored by being slapped around by a fat frumpy asshole?

“Well I’ll tell you who? its me! I got on my feet and I grabbed him by his chunky leg. And I started punching it. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING!?  Was I going cave in his knee? I dont know!” He rest his face in his palms. “That's when the cop showed up. The dude dropped Lizy and kicked me off, he didn’t even make it to his car when the copper slammed him into a car. He called Dad and he picked us up.” Lynn didn’t know what to say to that, she just let him find sit there. He wasn’t done.

“I tried to apologize to dad, that I couldn’t stop him myself. And you know what he told me? ‘You did the best you could.’” He kicked car in frustration. “Why didn’t he scold me! He should have yelled at me but he just hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay. Because thats my best, doing stupid shit and being weak piece of shit. Of course! Of course that's my best, because I can’t do any better.”

“We didn’t tell aunt Lana. Didn’t want her to worry. Lizy didn’t even know what was going on. Get this , after all that, She was actually more concerned about me then herself. She’s not supposed to worry about me, I’m suppose to worry about her! I’m the big brother! I’m suppose to be able to stop that. To help her. To save my little sister. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t because I’m just a stupid weak pathetic loser!” Lynn didn’t say a word.

“And I’m fine with being a loser. But not when it comes to her, not when its about protecting my family. I wanna be strong like you. So when people fuck with them. I can be there. I can be a good brother. And not… me.” Lynn pulled him into a hug and she could hear him trying desperately to hold back his tears. Lynn held him close and pet his head.

“Its not your fault.”

“It should be. I shouldn’t be given a free pass on this. What if it happens again, there’s a lot of fucking sickos out there.” He whiped his face and looked up at her. “What if Lacy got abducted, or if Lyra… fuck man. Why can’t I do anything?”

“Dont do that.” She held his face making sure he looked her in the eyes.”Don’t put it all on yourself. I’m telling you now, it isn’t just you. You have a whole family who loves you and will always be there for you.” She let go of his face and put it on his shoulder “So stop acting like your blind. Because your not alone.”

He hugged her close, wanting to cry but holding it in. She was okay with that. She just held him the whole time.

“Hey. You wanna know why we Louds work better in groups?”

“Why?”

“Because we’re louder together.” Lemy looked at her and laughed. A few tears fell down his face.

“Oh god, where did you get that line?” Lynn was trying toget ahold of her laugh too and failing.

“Your dad. He always comes up with cheesy lines like that.” It was one of the reason she loved him. “But he’s right. We do this together. Always. No one in this family stands by themselves and no one wins alone. It takes support and knowing your limit. And you showed that, when you ran after her. You didn’t back down, you saw the danger and tackled it head on.” Lemy looked a little confused at the compliment

“You said that was bad?”

“When you in a fight it can be risky pretty damn stupid. But it also shows how much you care. That your willing to throw your life on the line for someone you love. That why she was scared for you. Because Lizy knew you would do anything to help her. Just like anyone in this family would do the same for you.”

“So never forget that. We love you Lemy.” She held his head in her arm “Your family and we will never let you fight alone. So don't hide from Lyra, just tell her your okay, because you are. Because Lizy is. Because you are a good nephew, a good son, and a damn good brother.”

“Thanks aunt Lynn… I needed that.”

“Anytime ruffles.” It was 12pm “Nah fuck, Linc’s gonna kill me when I get back.”

“Well he’s pretty forgiving.”

“Yeah… whatever they can wait. You wanna get some burgers?”

“Sure.” He said with the first genuine smile that night.