Thread 35: Stories 61-75

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>32
"Variolus"
'High Roller'
[Original!32]
{Other!32}

'Thaaat's it, wakey wakey...'

[He's doing something to our mind, I noticed it when we started to wake up!]

"So this is the instigator of your little adventure...I was expecting someone who sounded more imposing."

>Nngh...

32 has all but collapsed, shaking his head at every syllable he here's in High Roller's voice, his body seemingly wracked with pain. The other two 32's look at each other.

[Can you feel that?]

{Yes...oh no...ohhhhh no.}

[This is bad, Mom, I think this bastard is-]

'Yeah, I really did NOT know you had it in you, I mean for real, you sir? Party ANIMAL!'

A rumbling begins to build from below.

{His words, they're shifting around his memory, he's making the current us forget his deception!}

'Damn, even beat me at the old Canterlot Guard drinking game...'

>Make...it...stop...

Various grits her teeth.

"So that's your game, is it? You, original son, try and find a way to hold him back!"

[On it!]

{Right behind you!}

Variolus and the original 32 give him a look.

{What? Personal schisms aside, I HATE that guy!}

[Then come on!]

The two old 32's disappear into the whiteness. Variolus looks down at the prone form of 32.

"It appears we are running low on time, a pity, you were making such progress."

>...why is this...happening?

"Because for all their friendship and harmony, ponies still harbor among them souls just as horrible many of our own. I doubt this fool realizes the doom his actions may bring forward...like I did, fittingly enough. I cannot stop him from uprooting your memory, but I can implant a seed within you that will survive his meddling. Hopefully it will put you on the right path, one that will make him rue the day he tried to match wits with a changeling."

32 nods, gritting his teeth.

"Look within my eyes..."

32 does, gazing as it seems like the amber eyes of his first Queen...

[Mother!]

32's head jerks to the side, he sees his other two selves, fleeing from an encroaching light, brighter even than the whiteness that surrounds them all. The other 32 looks back in time to disappear into it, his eyes wide with fear. Variolus' hooves wrap around his head and bring his eyes back to hers. Her horn glows and presses to his.

"Focus on my voice."

32 shivers, but stares intently.

"Do."

[Moth-!]

"The Right."

The light slowly crept across her body.

"Thing."

And in a flash, he was alone. The words reverberating in his skull as everything else begins to fall away, images of his battles, the nightmarish scenarios, the storming of the castle, and his mother falling away, replaced by memories of drinking alcohol with the chartreuse pegasus and his pale yellow lover. Screams of pain become slurred verses of song, trauma becomes bonding, revelations and confrontations become a peaceful dreamless slumber...

'Now I know you were having a nice sleep, but the crux of this whole thing is you're supposed to watch me, and that doesn't work if you're sleeping all day, yanno?'

>Shut...up...

'I mean, it's understandable, old guy like you, can't really hold his liquor...'

>You...fool...

'I mean the hangover? Phew. Gonna be a nightmare.'

>Fuck...

His eyes close...then open. He is in his cell, the last night had just been a ludicrous blur of drunken debauchery and off-key singing. His head pounds, he cracks open a bloodshot eye.

>...off...it's just...been a while.

High Roller laughs on the other side other bars.

'Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Triage is getting us some Palomino Bros., by the by. Hope you don't mind, I told her to make your third pepperoni.'

>I'm a bug creature that feeds on love.

'Well they didn't exactly have the little chalky hearts.'

>...pepperoni is fine.

'Kickass, you should probably get up, stretch your legs a bit...as much as you can in there.'

>Yeah...yeah...

32 stands, shaking his head.

"Do The Right Thing."

>Gah...

32 closes his eyes, massaging his head, he leans against the wall of his cell.

'You alright?'

>Yeah...yeah, just, the hangover...I think.

'Gut it out, man, I don't think I can sneak some hair of the dog down here.'

>I'm ok just...yeah...alright.

32 sits down, he feels sick, he feels alone...

...he feels like he's forgotten something.
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NON-Canon
>Variolus
"Other Queens"
~~~~~

>Well, that didn't go as planned...

"So, good news? Bad news?"

>Uh...

"Did you at least manage to tell him to tell my daughter to stop screwing around and start screwing around?"

"Or my son to stop being a little bitch?"

"Or my daughter to finally shack up with a nice guy? Or mare, no judgeing, but I still want grandkids."

"Or my son to punch that one bitch in the balls?"

"Female ponies don't have-"

"FIGURE OF SPEECH!"

>... Yes. I absolutely told them all of that, but that dastardly pony mindwiped it all away.

"...You realize what 'hivemind' means, right?"

>...Damn.
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>56
“Dadling”
‘Batmom’
~~~~~~

>…I hate you.

“Whoa, hostile much? And just out the blue at that. What did I ever do to you, pal?”

>You have a wife….

“In my dearest, most secretest dreams I have a wife. For now, I have a fiancé. But still, not gettin’ why that makes you hate me.”

>I don’t really hate you….

“I know. Being cut from the same cloth as Two, you're pretty much incapable of doing that, hating.”

>What’s that s’posed to mean, cut from the same cloth?

“Remember that one time so long ago when you and Two were in the kitchen and were trying to help the cooks and you cut pieces of cloth out to be used as pot holders?”

>Noooot rea-

“Well, it happened, and that’s what I meant. Nothing else. Forget it. Back to my wife, what’s up with her now?”

56 blinked, ears drooping as his eyes fell on the two mares strolling ahead of them, engaged in babble that seemed likely to never end.

>She… she won’t let me get near Moons.

“Pffft, what’re you talking about? Yeah she will.”

>Nuh. She won’t.

“Well, to be fair, it depends on what part of Luna you’re trying to get ne-”

>IT’S DEGRAMIGATION! I GOTS NEEDS TOO!

His sudden outburst stunned only Dadling. The park goers, even Luna and Glimmer, continued on without a hitch, almost as if accustomed to the smaller Changelings antics.

Dadling dug into his ringing ear, temporarily deafened.

“The word’s discrimination, and my love is alllll about that life. Shit, I can’t even talk to Luna. Really, she told me. I can’t. I don’t know what kind of friendship those two used to have but considering you’re allowed to at least hug Luna in her presence, I’d say you’re ahead of everyone else. In fact, watch. …Hey, Lu-”

'All inquiries to or concerning the Princess of the Night shall be handled and perused by her guard, which is to say me. Is there anything you wish to say to her highness?'

“…Yeah. Hi.”

'Noted. She will receive the message in two to four business days after proper review.'

“Thanks, honey.”

>…

“See?”

>…how do ya deal with that?

“In ways that, if explained, would cause Luna and Princess Applejack to skin me chitin-less.”

>Ah.

“Yeah. Now look, if you want to ask your stupid question-”

>It’s not stupid!

“-then just go ask. Normally. Without using her rear as a mouthpiece.”

>…Fine, even if it doesn’t feel as awesome now.

“Though, out of sheer stupidity on my part, what is it you plan on asking her?”

>…

“…Woooow, I didn’t think it was possible to blush so much. Your entire body is almost all red, 56, all of you.”

>…it’s a secret.

“Then I won’t pr-”

‘As a personal favor to me, her royal highness has moved your message to the top of her staggering pile and has responded in kind: hello.’

“…”

>…AHAHAHAHAHA! MY SIDES!

“What a gracious princess the night has….”
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>Lucky Strikes
"Coco Pommel"
'Steam Gauge'
-Quicksilver Sash-
"'Changelings"'

----------

"So what do we do now this little war is won?"

>Well... the place is a mess, what with the paint. With them lost to us, they're cleaning up tomorrow, so I say we sit back

"'Not doing it! Arsehat!"'

>Hey! It's late! Go back to your ballroom or you'll wish it hadn't been paintballs that hit you! You got a big day of clean-up tomorrow!

"'We aint doin' it!"'

>By Celestia's sweet be-hind, get back in your ballroom and make sleepy, or I WILL march you up and down this glorious alabaster castle until your Celestia-damned chitin turns white, and your wings shrivel up! I WILL MAKE SURE YOU GO BACK TO YOUR QUEEN BROKEN, BRUISED, AND ORDERLY! I will be Celestia-damned certain that you will scrub ev-er-y single inch of paint we shot into your sorry bug-mugs if it's the last Celestia-damned thing I do! You will piss paint by the time you are done! You will eat paint, drink paint, sleep in paint, wake up in paint, shit paint, and bleed paint! UNTIL IT IS CLEAN AND GONE!! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, YOU SNIVELLING LARVA?!

"'...YessirsorrysirImmagocrymyselftosleepnow..."'

"..."
'...'
-...-

"I am so wet right now."

-OH CELESTIA I DO NOT NEED THIS MENTAL IMAGERY!-

'What? You're a lady too, you're used to it.'

-S-shutup!!-

'Ha. By the way, nice one, Sarge. That was an old school tellin' off right there.'

>Darn punks...

"Seriously, I need a towel..."
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>Lucky Strikes
"Random soldier"
'???'
~~~~

>You know, I think at last, I don't feel so bad for losing so hard against these guys back in the Wedding. I think, at last, I can finally feel like-

"Boss?"

>...Yes, soldier?

"We came up here because we heard the Changelings were after the royal cakes, right?"

>Riiiight?

"...Have any of us actually gone over and looked?"

His face was as stoic as a rock as he briskly walked over to the huge double doors leading to the royal bakery.

To his credit, he didn't so much as flinch at the sight that remained on the other side.

'Yeah...'

The changeling relaxing on one of the ceiling fixtures tossed another chunk of one of the many, many decimated cakes into the air, and sent it down his gullet with one gulp. Idly, he looked around to the dozens upon dozens of others of his kind stuffed wall to wall, and stuffed in the other way too.

'...If it makes you feel any better, this tactic worked out great against the Elements of Harmony too.'

Slowly, the soldier shut the door.

>...I'm going to burn it all to the ground, someday....
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>Lucky Strikes
"Coco Pommel"
'Steam Gauge!'
-Quicksilver Sash-
"'Soldiers"'

---

"'Run!! OH SWEET CELESTIA, RUN!!"'

'Woah my dudes! What's your rush?'

"'She's coming!! RUN!!"'

'Who--'

"Stop right there, you little maggot!"

'Wha-- Me? Coco, what's happen--'

"SHUT YOUR HOLE, PRIVATE! WITH ME, NOW!"

'Oh shit and sugar, what'd I do now?'

"QUIET OR I WILL STRING YOU UP BY YOUR SORRY MEMBER!"

'...Yes, Ma'am.'

---

>Ah, you brought him, good

"Sir, as ordered, sir!"

>At ease, Corporal. I prefer you relaxed~

"S-sir, yes, sir. ~Blush~"

'...Not groovy.'

-Hi, Gauge.-

'Oh, hey Sash. You got brought here too?'

-Yeah, Sarge wanted us, aint said why yet.-

>QUIET IN THE RANKS!

Both Stallions snapped shut and stood to attention again.

>Men, we've had a grave misfortune; the Princesses royal cakes are gone, eaten by the Changeling menace

'...Oh, right, that was why we were here...'

-Crap.-

>Now, as much as it pains to say, you loyal soldiers that did your duty must once again go unto the breach. Fight a new battle for the realm and claim back what is ours, only you two can do this

'Sounds dangerous, sweet.'

-Awh no...-

>You must... clean the royal cake room

'AH FUCK.'

-Huh. Much less deadly than I was anticipating, unless engorged changelings covered with frosting are considered deadly.-

>Best get to it, we have no time to waste. Needs must, may the Princesses have mercy

'Dammit, the shit we go through...'
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'Steam Gauge'
-Quicksilver Sash-
"Coco Pommel"
"'Changelings"'
---

'Agh, damn it, this is a mess.'

-It's not so bad.-

"Straighten those backs! C'mon, get to it!"

'You could help, Coco-- Er, Ma'am.'

"Awwh, would you like a lollipop too? BECAUSE I GOT A NICE BAG RIGHT HERE! I'LL SHARE THEM!!"

-I-I'd like one-

"It's not my job to help, I'm here to make sure you do your job, SO GET WORKING, PLEASE!"

'Yeah...'

"Are my ears full of sweet birdsong, Private, are you upset, would you like a cuddle?!"

'No, Ma'am!'

-I-I'd like a cudd-- -

"Pipe down, or I'll bury you in flowers until you smell like a rose!"

-I, er... yes, Ma'am.-

"'Hahaha, oh you guys are so whipped."'

-'Shut it.'-
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'Steam Gauge'
-Quicksilver Sash-
"Coco Pommel"

---

'Ma'am, do you still have that maids uniform?'

"I- uh, yes, why, Private?"

'Because the day aint over, and Sash is still my maid.'

"Ohhh, right, your bet."

-Oh come on! You said I could stop early! And it was so demeaning!-

"B-but you were so cute..."

-...-

'I change my mind, enjoy cleaning, I'm out. You honour a bet, bro. Get with the maid uniform.'

"Eee! I'll go grab it! Er- I mean... um... PRIVATE, YOU HONOUR YOUR BETS! GO PLEASE GET YOUR OTHER CUTE UNIFORM AND GET BACK HERE LICKETY BANANA SPLIT! ...Please."

-...I hate you, Gauge.-

'Love you too, bro.'

"Private Gauge!"

'Yes, Ma'am?'

"Go and grab my camera!"

'I er, yes, Ma'am.'

"Private Sash looks so adorable in that outfit, don't you think, Private? ALMOST KISSABLE WOULDN'T YOU SAY?!"

'...Um, yes, Ma'am?'

"GLAD YOU THINK SO!! I DO LOVE A STALLION IN UNIFORM!!"

'That's uh, good for you, Ma'am.'

"Oh, sprinkles, I keep using my 'In Command' voice at the wrong times..."

'Well, I'm gonna go...'

"WELL I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN WITH THAT, PRIVATE, I REALLY DO!"

'...I'm not sure if you're sarcastic or not.'

"Fiddlesticks, this is getting hard."
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-Quicksilver Sash-
"Coco Pommel"
"'Changelings"'

---

"To attention, Private!"

-Ugh, do I have t-- -

"YES! TO ATTENTION, PRIVATE! YOU'RE AS CUTE AS A BUTTON AND SLENDER LIKE AN HOURGLASS AND I WILL HAVE THESE PICTURES!"

-...Yes, Ma'am.-

"'Looking good, baby."'

"'I'll say."'

"'U-unf."'

"See? They think you're cute, Private."

-I bet they also think I'm a mare.-

"'You're not?"'

"'She's not?!"'

"'IT'S A TRAP!"'

"'Nooo, it's a lie..."'

"'Well at least all this cake wasn't a--"'

"'Don't you finish that sentence."'

"QUIET DOWN, ALL OF YOU OR I WILL SING FOR YOU JUST LIKE MUM USED TO DO AND STILL DOES! PRIVATE, TURN LEFT!"

-Ugh... I'm cleaning... Can't I just do that later?-

"A cute maid can hardly be seen not cleaning, Private. SO GET SCRUBBING, AND TURN LEFT!"

-UGH. Dammit. ...At least I look pretty.-

"'Yes you do!"'

"'Dude, that's a dude!"'

"'...I know that. Dude's hot."'

"'Doesn't matter if they're cute?"'

"'Exactly!"'

-I am so flattered yet so uncomfortable.-

"SMILEEEE!!"
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>Jetset
“???”
_____

Time couldn’t place him and to the average eye he was nothing more than a glinting blur in the peripheral that was gone at a second glance.

The glint came from the edge of his shades, which he straightened as he paused atop the drop of a rollercoaster ride. The height was nauseatingly dizzying yet he glanced down without a twinge of trepidation, able to see the familiar orange princess leading her troupe towards the amphitheater.

His keen gaze swept left.

Like a beacon of warmth, she was easily spotted, her magnificent alabaster coat notwithstanding. His Queen, Celestia. She was… looking for someone, that much was obvious. Who, though, he hadn’t a clue.

And that unnerved him in ways unfathomable, not knowing what troubled his Queen, nor being able to provide a quick and easy resolution. Asking her outright what was just amateurish as he should already know.

>But I don’t. Because I got sidetracked….

Eyes found the galloping orange mare again and the slightest of scowls touched his lips.

>Because of you.

But even when he tried to feel a spark of annoyance, or even rage, it fizzled into nothing. She had summoned him, he gave away part of his services now and in the future, and he successfully completed the first mission given to him.

Success had no right tasting so bitter.

>What am I supposed to do n-

It was hardly spoken, sounding more like an afterthought than an actual calling, but he heard her clear as day and vanished on an exhale.

Only to instantly reappear at Celestia’s side while inhaling, watching intently as she glanced over him this way and that, craning her neck.

>You… called, my Queen?

“Hm.”

She continued to look every which way, idly shifting pebbles along the ground with one of her gilded hooves as if expecting to find what she sought underneath.

“That’s the first time in me knows how long that I’ve heard you hesitate, Jetset. What’s wrong?”

Her caring tone… Mother Faust above he wasn’t worthy of it and again, he hesitated.

>Nothing, I just… please… forgive my negligence.

“Negligence? For what, dear?”

Dear.

He twitched, tail swishing nervously. Deep breaths, Jetset, deeeep breaths.

>Because… I failed you. I… you’re looking for something and I don’t know what it is so I can’t help and that means I haven’t been doing my job of watching and-

“Well, this is a fairly cute display. Jetset, rambling. Never thought I’d see the day after you graduated.”

If the edge of Party Land were near, Jetset would have thrown himself over it.

Lost in his chagrin, he almost jumped when something feathery soft fell over his back but training stayed him. Celestia had actually covered him with one of her massive wings, squinting now as she turned left to right, still looking.

“There is a big difference between negligence and ensuring the safety of a defenseless little one, Jetset dear. Yes, I know, don’t look surprised. Help Applejack if she needs it, I doubt she’ll call on you very often but when she does, got to her, even if it means losing sight of me for a few seconds. You are a wonderful soldier but even you cannot be everywhere at once, and I forbid you from trying to do so.”

>But-

His rebuttal was cut short when she smirked, playfully shifting her wing down to skew his shades.

“That’s final, Jetset. Now, walk with me for a bit. I don’t require your help looking for Cadance but your company is another matter.”

>…yes, ma’am.

And as she started off, he hung back for a few seconds, admiring. Sometimes… he couldn’t believe his luck, being able to serve such a wondrous mare.

>…And Princess Applejack.

With a snort, he dutifully followed after his sun.

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>Actarius
"JJ"
~~~

>Oh cool! Cosplay contest!

"A WHAT-play?"

>Cosplay! It's where you dress up like your favorite characters.

"...So you're ponies who pretend to be someone else?"

>Yeah!

"RACIST!"

>...What?

"WE ARE A CULTURE! NOT A COSTUME!"

>JJ, I don't think that-

"OH! I'M SORRY! DID *YOU* HAVE TO DISGUISE YOURSELF AS A PONY TO EAT!?"

>Well, no, but I don't think-

"I DID THAT!"

>And I'm sure it was very terrible, but-

"FOR A LOT!"

>Noted, since you're alive, but what I'm saying is-

"MY CULTURE IS BEING RAPED BY RACISTS!"

>Wow, that is a really harsh way to put it-

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPE!"

>...

"..."

>...You dress up like comic book or movie or something characters, not real ponies.

".............OH! Why didn't you say so? No yeah that sounds like a bunch of fun!"

>You, uh, you okay?

"Yeah, sorry... been listening to a lot of Mareist Frequency here recently."

>...Why.

"She's very insightful sometimes!"

>...

"...Not ALL the time, but you know, sometimes!"

>...

"...I'm sorry."
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>Chrysalis
"???"
~~~~

>...Finally.

She didn't hear nor see him land, but she knew he was there.

>I called you three minutes ago.

The changeling behind her only bowed deeper.

"I'm so sorry, highness, I came as fast as I could without drawing attention to myself."

>Hn, I'll overlook it this once. More important issues.

"I'm sorry, but my search has-"

>Your search is temporarily suspended, you have a new mission now.

"More important than finding the Titan?"

>You doubt me?

"O-of course not, Majesty!"

>Good. Somewhere in this park is Applejack 2. I need you to go out, right now, and find her, grab her, and bring her to me.

"Of course! At once..."

Hard emerald eyes flickered backwards.

>Is something the matter?

"If I may, Majesty, who is with her? I wish to know who I may have to face to abduct-"

>You are not abducting her you idiot!

He flinched back, head bowing lower.

"I-I am sorry, Highness! But... will whoever is watching her not have a problem with me taking her?"

>That is precisely why you are going to grab her, you fool. She is currently running around unsupervised.

"...Ah. That explains the scream..."

>I was unaware anything I said needed explanation.

"Of course not! Never! You command, and I will follow, always!"

>Funny, because I told you to go, and you are still here. Do I need to repeat myself?

Not letting a single moment longer pass, he vanished in a burst of unnatural speed.

>...Heh, still so much fun... I kind of miss the old days.

Wistfully, she sighed.

>Perhaps later...
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NC
>Spike
"Twilight"
'Discord'
-Diamond Tiara-
~~~
'HEYKIDSWANNASEEADEADBOD- Why is he in drag? Fluttershy hasn't been by here, has she?'

"Oh, shoot! I left fluttershy, dash, and pinkie!" Twilight leaves"

>Well, she'll find them soon enough. As for the drag, it's a long story so to cut to the end, I'm kind of enjoying the hilarious reactions people keep having.

'Ah, young, dragon. You are coming into your own in the art of the troll. But you need something else...'

Discord snaps his fingers and turns spike into a cute, dragon girl

>Huh... Well fancy that. This'll wear off, right?

'Oh, it will, if anything's it's water soluable. But there's still something missing... I know! Cat ears, a tail, and a maid outfit! Enjoy! I must make sure Nitelight and Buttershy don't get lost! toodles!'

Discord leaves, leaving Spike to just shrug and continue eating while in his catgirl maid outfit and missing masculinity

-Darkside of Luna's ass, Spike! What happened to you?-

>Tumblr.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cheese
"Mr. Foalington"
'Security Guard'

>Ok, anons? I know you don't know me as well as Pinkie, but I think a certain compromise can be reached here, is there anyway we can wrap up a certain troublesome subplot in a quick and easy way and get the horrible monster out of my park?

The Chitania doll walks by.

>No no no, come on, you know who I'm talking about, tall, dark, gruesome?

"*Sounds of a motorboat with the engine flooded*"

>...you jackwagons.

"*Engine puttering*"

>No, not you. Look, I'm sorry, we have not found these guys, they may not even be in the park anymore. We'll see about reimbursing you for the helmets, ok?

"HSSSSS!"

>Ok, ok! Would you settle for us finding the helmets at least?

"...yeah, sure, sounds good."

>Wait, whar!?

"*T-Rex Roar*"

>...ok then, just give me a little time and-

Cheese's walkie talkie suddenly crackles to life.

'Hey, uh, boss?'

>Not a good time Searchlight.

'But...I found something super weird at the hotel.'

>Oh no, not another changeling in the pool.

'Not it's...a bunch of stuffed animals...'

>Yes?

'And they're wearing little miniature helmets.'

>...

"..."

'...boss?'

"*Angelic Fanfare!*"

>No way, thank you, anons!

'What?'

>Never you mind, I'm on my wa-

Foalington is gone.

>Wha...?

'Oh hey, mister, I can't let you touch those.'

"SKREEEEEE!"

'AAAAAAAH!'

>...Searchlight.

'...he ate the helmets and disappeared. I...I don't know what just happened, but the animals are staring at me.'

>Searchlight?

'Yeah?'

>How about you take the night off?

'That sounds good.'

>...the heck was the point of all that?

Cheese looks up at the words in the sky.

>Oh, yay, new plot thread, I'm getting as far away from this bad trip as possible!

Cheese skips off, ignoring his walkie talkie as Searchlight screams in terror about being chases by small stuffed animals.
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Sharing a scrap of something I was trying to work on but couldn't make quite work
Basically the idea of 32 getting to sing a parody of Melody from the Past by The Megas. The overall theme of forgiving and realizing mistakes felt fitting, also to play with the idea that post Cordyceps arc, 32 departs from the hive to wander on his own.
Non-canon
"32"
~~~
"What was filled with rage, finally sees his flaws
None are without mistake, in this life, we each face insurmountable odds
Though my fate is broken, my path I cannot see.
Though she is our queen, I must leave you to make my own history.

There is a voice I hear, a memory of the past
When I woke for the first time, when I slept for the last
You are the one, the queens' only heir
I do not blame you, you are only a mare"
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