All I Have To Do (originally by Sacrifice)

Rain. Of course it’s rain. It was only fitting it should be raining on this night of nights.
Cold as well. Perhaps the universe was testing me - still, it didn't matter. All the rain and cold in the world couldn't keep me from my love.

Thankfully, I’m protected by his coat. He’s so clever, buying something like this. So warm and comfortable, and still so full of his smell… the scarf too, just imagining him breathing into it over and over and now I’m wearing it, holding it to my face, it’s like feeling his breath on my skin… I could get drunk from this...

No. I have to focus. Can’t afford any mistakes. No mistakes. No mistakes.

Here it is. 176. His house. No mistakes.

I fumble around in the pockets of his nice warm coat until my claws close around the key. It pained me, having to steal his keys from him, imagining him getting angry as he looked for them. But it was worth it. And the key-cutter didn’t ask any questions. Maybe she knew what I meant. It was alright though, it was alright, all I did was let myself in when he was out and replace his keys where he could find them, no mistakes, so I had my own key. And I could come and see him whenever I wanted.

I know it’s not good, for me or him, to keep doing this, but sometimes I have to. I can’t keep away. I need to see him. A couple of times a week in classes isn’t enough. I have to see him.

Slip the key into the lock. Nice and slow and quiet. Nobody’s going to see me, and even if they do, they won’t mind, they can’t, but it’s alright because they won’t. It’s alright. Just shut up and go inside.

I take off my shoes and creep up the stairs. The sound of the TV drifts through the walls and down the hall into my ears. That’s probably his housemates, there’s three of them, I know because I’ve seen them, two boys and that slutty crow tengu, she’s always in the way, always hanging around them. She can have those two, I don’t care about any of them, just let me have my beloved. She can’t have him. He’s mine. Up the stairs. No mistakes. He’s mine.

A door opens. It’s the TV room. Up the stairs. UP THE STAIRS. NOW.

It’s alright. I’m alright. Nobody saw me. None of them can see me. It’s alright.

Over to his bedroom door. I can’t hear anything on the other side, but I know he’s there, I can FEEL him. He locked his door as well, clever, he’s always so clever, but I have the key. Just be quiet, lock, and I’ll be with him.

Click goes the lock. Creak goes the door. Tip-tap go my feet.

There he is.

He’s so cute when he’s sleeping. I want to take a picture and show him, so he can know how adorable he is when he’s asleep. I want to lie next to him while he sleeps, I want to be there, wake up next to him, I want to, I-

Focus. Don’t lose it.

Nice and slow now. I’ll carefully take off his coat, just hang it on the back of his door, where it can stay on his hook and stand guard. If he wakes up I’m just bringing his coat back. That’s my excuse, but he’s never woken up, not once. Good boy.

Time to get to work.

He’s very clever, I love that about him, but he’s also careless and I love that too. Like this half-full glass of water by his bedside. So wide, so open, someone could just hold their tail over it and think about all kinds of nice things until a nice big drop of love comes out the end and into the water. When he wakes up I’ll still be there, I’ll be in that glass, and he’ll raise it to his lips and gulp it down and then we’ll be together.

Half-eaten pizza in a box by his bed. So messy. I love it.

I’ll give him some on this as well, he’d want me to, all I have to do is hold my tail over it and… slip a finger or two inside, and…nn…look back at him...so...hnnn...cute...while he’s...haaah...asleep....hmnah~!

Drip drip drip. All over his food. I wish I could serve it to him myself, watch him eat it, smile, tell me he loves me…

That’s probably enough for now. He’ll get the message. Little by little. He probably doesn’t know yet, but he will. Soon enough he’ll know he wants more. He won’t know why, but he’ll know he wants it. I wonder if he’ll come to my room?

Time for my reward. Can’t sit on the edge of his bed, the smallest shift in weight could wake him, and I just so love watching him rest. So peaceful. So serene. He’s like a monk in meditation, if he wasn’t so sprawled out on his bed.

Oh, hang on. His arm, he’s sleeping on it. That won’t do. He’ll have pins and needles in the morning, I can’t allow that, not my beloved.

Just have to lean over… maybe I’ll just… plant a tiny kiss right here on his shoulder, just so he rolls over, there’s nothing indecent about this, I’m just helping him avoid discomfort, just one little touch of my lips on his skin, just so he rolls over
I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to

No! Focus!

One little kiss… one little touch… just here, there we go.

Mwah. I love you.

Hee hee, I wonder if my breath is tickling him? Oh, here he comes, that’s it, good boy, just roll over like that, on your back, good boy!

There. That’s better, isn’t it? That’s so much better.

His clock says 12:37. I don’t have to leave yet. I can stay a while longer.

His chest rises and falls. He’s like a part of the room, so still, so quiet. His eyelids are fluttering, I wonder what he’s dreaming about?

Me. Dream about me.

Just going to… put my mouth by his ear, that’s right, no mistakes, just going to very quietly say my name. And again. Once more.

He stirs, did I wake him? No, it’s just a little twitch and he’s back to normal. Good boy. I could watch him forever...

…

...oh my, look at the time! I’ve been here much longer than I was meant to! It’s almost two in the morning!

Quietly as I can, just going to back away, to his door, put his coat back on, feel his scent wash over me again like being wrapped up in his arms, so good…

Anyway. Time to go. I could use a bit of sleep myself, I want to lie down next to him but I can’t, I know I can’t, it’s not fair, I just want to, even that stupid slutty tengu gets to sleep in bed with her man every night, why can’t I just crawl up next to him, tickle his hair with my breath, I just want to-

Oh. I’m crying.

Time to leave.
Shut the door and re-lock it, no mistakes. I’ll see him in class tomorrow, and he won’t suspect a thing, he probably won’t even look at me, but I’ll know. I’ll know, and one day soon he’ll know as well.

Down the stairs and away. Just have to wait. Bide my time.

“Anon?”

Oh no.

“Anon, are you going out? Man, it’s like, way past midnight.”

He’s behind me, this other man, one of my beloved’s friends. The dark. The coat. He must think I am my love.

“Dude, are you there? What’s going on?”

Stay calm. Stay calm. Just shrug.

“So you’re going out then?”

Why can’t this stupid fuck just let me leave dammit I’m so close

My love’s voice is so deep, so strong. There’s no way I can match it.

“Uh…” I whisper, trying to force a baritone out. “Going for a walk…”

Let me go.

“Er… alright, man. Stay safe.”

“Yeah.”

He lingers there before beginning to walk up the stairs. I leave before he sees my face.

Out the door, close it, lock it. The rain’s stopped, at least, but the cold is still there.

I look back at the door, back at the window, where my beloved sleeps, dreaming of me, waiting to wake and come and see me tomorrow in class. I know he does. He loves me, I know it.

Back to my home, back to my empty bed. Going to go home and imagine his touch and his arms around me and drifting off to sleep next to him and



--
Thank you very much for reading.
RAW Paste Data
Rain. Of course it’s rain. It was only fitting it should be raining on this night of nights.
Cold as well. Perhaps the universe was testing me - still, it didn't matter. All the rain and cold in the world couldn't keep me from my love.

Thankfully, I’m protected by his coat. He’s so clever, buying something like this. So warm and comfortable, and still so full of his smell… the scarf too, just imagining him breathing into it over and over and now I’m wearing it, holding it to my face, it’s like feeling his breath on my skin… I could get drunk from this...

No. I have to focus. Can’t afford any mistakes. No mistakes. No mistakes.

Here it is. 176. His house. No mistakes.

I fumble around in the pockets of his nice warm coat until my claws close around the key. It pained me, having to steal his keys from him, imagining him getting angry as he looked for them. But it was worth it. And the key-cutter didn’t ask any questions. Maybe she knew what I meant. It was alright though, it was alright, all I did was let myself in when he was out and replace his keys where he could find them, no mistakes, so I had my own key. And I could come and see him whenever I wanted.

I know it’s not good, for me or him, to keep doing this, but sometimes I have to. I can’t keep away. I need to see him. A couple of times a week in classes isn’t enough. I have to see him.

Slip the key into the lock. Nice and slow and quiet. Nobody’s going to see me, and even if they do, they won’t mind, they can’t, but it’s alright because they won’t. It’s alright. Just shut up and go inside.

I take off my shoes and creep up the stairs. The sound of the TV drifts through the walls and down the hall into my ears. That’s probably his housemates, there’s three of them, I know because I’ve seen them, two boys and that slutty crow tengu, she’s always in the way, always hanging around them. She can have those two, I don’t care about any of them, just let me have my beloved. She can’t have him. He’s mine. Up the stairs. No mistakes. He’s mine.

A door opens. It’s the TV room. Up the stairs. UP THE STAIRS. NOW.

It’s alright. I’m alright. Nobody saw me. None of them can see me. It’s alright.

Over to his bedroom door. I can’t hear anything on the other side, but I know he’s there, I can FEEL him. He locked his door as well, clever, he’s always so clever, but I have the key. Just be quiet, lock, and I’ll be with him.

Click goes the lock. Creak goes the door. Tip-tap go my feet.

There he is.

He’s so cute when he’s sleeping. I want to take a picture and show him, so he can know how adorable he is when he’s asleep. I want to lie next to him while he sleeps, I want to be there, wake up next to him, I want to, I-

Focus. Don’t lose it.

Nice and slow now. I’ll carefully take off his coat, just hang it on the back of his door, where it can stay on his hook and stand guard. If he wakes up I’m just bringing his coat back. That’s my excuse, but he’s never woken up, not once. Good boy.

Time to get to work.

He’s very clever, I love that about him, but he’s also careless and I love that too. Like this half-full glass of water by his bedside. So wide, so open, someone could just hold their tail over it and think about all kinds of nice things until a nice big drop of love comes out the end and into the water. When he wakes up I’ll still be there, I’ll be in that glass, and he’ll raise it to his lips and gulp it down and then we’ll be together.

Half-eaten pizza in a box by his bed. So messy. I love it.

I’ll give him some on this as well, he’d want me to, all I have to do is hold my tail over it and… slip a finger or two inside, and…nn…look back at him...so...hnnn...cute...while he’s...haaah...asleep....hmnah~!

Drip drip drip. All over his food. I wish I could serve it to him myself, watch him eat it, smile, tell me he loves me…

That’s probably enough for now. He’ll get the message. Little by little. He probably doesn’t know yet, but he will. Soon enough he’ll know he wants more. He won’t know why, but he’ll know he wants it. I wonder if he’ll come to my room?

Time for my reward. Can’t sit on the edge of his bed, the smallest shift in weight could wake him, and I just so love watching him rest. So peaceful. So serene. He’s like a monk in meditation, if he wasn’t so sprawled out on his bed.

Oh, hang on. His arm, he’s sleeping on it. That won’t do. He’ll have pins and needles in the morning, I can’t allow that, not my beloved.

Just have to lean over… maybe I’ll just… plant a tiny kiss right here on his shoulder, just so he rolls over, there’s nothing indecent about this, I’m just helping him avoid discomfort, just one little touch of my lips on his skin, just so he rolls over
I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to I want to

No! Focus!

One little kiss… one little touch… just here, there we go.

Mwah. I love you.

Hee hee, I wonder if my breath is tickling him? Oh, here he comes, that’s it, good boy, just roll over like that, on your back, good boy!

There. That’s better, isn’t it? That’s so much better.

His clock says 12:37. I don’t have to leave yet. I can stay a while longer.

His chest rises and falls. He’s like a part of the room, so still, so quiet. His eyelids are fluttering, I wonder what he’s dreaming about?

Me. Dream about me.

Just going to… put my mouth by his ear, that’s right, no mistakes, just going to very quietly say my name. And again. Once more.

He stirs, did I wake him? No, it’s just a little twitch and he’s back to normal. Good boy. I could watch him forever...

…

...oh my, look at the time! I’ve been here much longer than I was meant to! It’s almost two in the morning!

Quietly as I can, just going to back away, to his door, put his coat back on, feel his scent wash over me again like being wrapped up in his arms, so good…

Anyway. Time to go. I could use a bit of sleep myself, I want to lie down next to him but I can’t, I know I can’t, it’s not fair, I just want to, even that stupid slutty tengu gets to sleep in bed with her man every night, why can’t I just crawl up next to him, tickle his hair with my breath, I just want to-

Oh. I’m crying.

Time to leave.
Shut the door and re-lock it, no mistakes. I’ll see him in class tomorrow, and he won’t suspect a thing, he probably won’t even look at me, but I’ll know. I’ll know, and one day soon he’ll know as well.

Down the stairs and away. Just have to wait. Bide my time.

“Anon?”

Oh no.

“Anon, are you going out? Man, it’s like, way past midnight.”

He’s behind me, this other man, one of my beloved’s friends. The dark. The coat. He must think I am my love.

“Dude, are you there? What’s going on?”

Stay calm. Stay calm. Just shrug.

“So you’re going out then?”

Why can’t this stupid fuck just let me leave dammit I’m so close

My love’s voice is so deep, so strong. There’s no way I can match it.

“Uh…” I whisper, trying to force a baritone out. “Going for a walk…”

Let me go.

“Er… alright, man. Stay safe.”

“Yeah.”

He lingers there before beginning to walk up the stairs. I leave before he sees my face.

Out the door, close it, lock it. The rain’s stopped, at least, but the cold is still there.

I look back at the door, back at the window, where my beloved sleeps, dreaming of me, waiting to wake and come and see me tomorrow in class. I know he does. He loves me, I know it.

Back to my home, back to my empty bed. Going to go home and imagine his touch and his arms around me and drifting off to sleep next to him and



--
Thank you very much for reading.