Retirement

So... looks like it's time for me to hang up the ol' controller. Well, not really. I still want that controller. But it is time to take a more leisurely pace through my gaming life. Certainly time to hang up the ol' stream equipment.

The last few weeks of not streaming have been a really good chance to clear my head. In separating a bit from the craziness of always trying to improve, the pressure to always be streaming, and the comparing myself to what others are doing, I've really realized how much I enjoy focusing my energy on everything else. I've loved being able to spend more time with my family - specifically just hanging out with and helping my wife in the evenings. Being able to help around the house more. I've gotten way better sleep, and as a result, have gotten better at my job. Playing casual games and just enjoying them for fun, without the pressure of the clock and the audience. I just don't have that drive to keep grinding anymore. My kids are getting older, and there's so much more I want to be involved with. All that will only become more serious when our next baby is born in June.

What am I done with? Well... pretty much everything online. I won't be streaming to Twitch or speedrunning anymore. I don't expect I'll ever really be watching streams, either (not that I did much of that, anyway). Discord? Well, I don't really check that anyway. I'll leave my YouTube up, but I'll probably trim down some of the videos and leave just the big highlights.

I will be closing my Twitter account, as well. This has been something I've been really considering for the better part of a year, now. Looking at Twitter a lot less the last few weeks has really shown me how much stress social media adds to my life. Whether it's a trending topic that upsets me, or comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate, it's just not something I leave. I've had some great interactions on Twitter and met some really great people (probably you, if you're reading this!), but it's reached a point where the negatives have really overshadowed the positives.

I'm still weighing the idea of doing some sort of last-hurrah, finale stream (or week) - mostly as a thank you to those of you who have supported me and as a chance to say goodbye. Something that could possibly include the SNES Pentathlon games - maybe even a DKC Trilogy 306% run. I haven't completely decided if I even want to do this, or which games. But I'm thinking about it. The big challenge, honestly, is just stirring up the motivation - all the reasons I outlined above, basically.

It was fun while it lasted, and I've had some experiences with many of you that I'll treasure for a long time! But I've just come to realize that this chapter of my life is coming to a close, and it's time for me to move on to the next thing.

(I don't know what kind of retirement this is. Maybe it's a ride-off-into-the-sunset retirement. Maybe it's a Brett Favre retirement in which you'll be hearing from me again in 4 months. Hard to say. But as for now, I'm feeling pretty good about this being it.)