Five Myths of Marriage

antijingoist Jul 8th, 2017 (edited) 9 Never
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My wife and I celebrated our one year anniversary a few days ago. One year
ago, before we were married, there were many things that people told me would
change or be different after marriage. The most popular are below:

1) Be sad! No more alone time! No more time for the things you want! My wife and I
enjoy many of the same things. We spend time plotting and scheming together.
We spend time going to events together. As a matter of fact, I can't stand to
be without her. Even at work, I measure time in "minutes till I get to go
home," and scheduled a longer lunch break just to spend more time with her.
Besides, if I wanted alone time, I would not have gotten married.

2) No more hanging out with friends! Before marriage, my wife introduced me to her
friends, and I thought they were awesome, and I became friends with them. I
introduced my wife to my friends, and she thought they were so awesome that
she became friends with them. As a matter of fact, she makes me spend time
with them also! I am a sociophob, but my wife is fixing that: she helps me get
out more often.

3) She is the boss Nope. We just do stuff. Up until this
point, if something needs to be done, we discuss it and figure out what to do
together. Sometimes her ideas are awesomer. Sometimes mine are.

4) Life will be boring! Not a chance! Our marriage started with a high-octane police
chase as I rescued my wife from Massachusetts, and took her to New Hampshire.
Since then, every day has been us single handedly saving the world from evil
politicians at the very last minute. On a serious note, we could write a book
of all the things that we have experienced since being married a year ago,
from being followed by police, to being harassed and followed by bitter old
ladies on main street.

5) There will be arguments! You will fight all the time
None yet! Closest thing to a shouting match we've had were plans to
angrily shout compliments at each other on main street just to see what people
would say. None of these premarital warnings have come to pass so far. I have
married a beautiful lady who is very loving. Next year, about the same time,
I'll get to write on myths about being a parent.

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