SinglePlayer:
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***CHAPTER 1***
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sp_a1_intro1 - Container Ride
For both skips, start walking forwards at "even in a dire e-*MER*-gen-cy"
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sp_a1_intro2 - Portal Carousel
"Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is un-sup-er-*VIZED*.
Before re-entering a *RE*-la-xa-tion vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a *MOMENT* to write down the results of your test. *(go inbetween 'test' and 'an')*
An Aperture Science Reintegration *AS*-so-ci-ate will revive you for an inverview when society has been rebuilt."
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sp_a1_intro3 - Portal Gun
Slow dialogue skip:
"I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to *WAIT* for you up ahead."
Fast dialogue skip:
"Also, are you alive? That's important, *SHOULD* have asked that first."
Elevator cue (not necessary if you get the dialogue skip):
"Good. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the *LAWS* of Robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form.
*A* future Aperture Science Entitlement Associate will initiate the appropriate grievance-filing paperwork."
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sp_a1_intro4 - Smooth Jazz - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a1_intro5 - Cube Momentum
"Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not a-*LONE*.
All Aperture Science personality *CONSTRUCTS* will remain functional in a-*PO*-ca-lyp-tic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts."
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sp_a1_intro6 - Future Starter
"Good work getting this far, future-starter!
That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or ir-ra-di-a-*TED* in such a way that the future should not start with you, please *RETURN* to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing."
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sp_a1_intro7 - Secret Panel
pancake skip: -501 - -505, 0.00, 169.22
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sp_a1_wakeup - Wakeup - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_intro - Incinerator
Dialogue Skip:
"The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can *START* testing. Just like old times."
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***CHAPTER 2***
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sp_a2_laser_intro - Laser Intro - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_laser_stairs - Laser Stairs
"Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person.
I'm serious, that's what *IT* says: *A* horrible person. We weren't even testing for that."
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sp_a2_dual_lasers - Dual Lasers
"Most people emerge from suspension terribly *UNDERNOURISHED*.
*I* want to con-gra-tu-*LATE* you on bea-*TING* the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds."
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sp_a2_laser_over_goo - Laser Over Goo - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_catapult_intro - Catapult Intro
"So you'll be breathing the same room full of air *FOR* the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting."
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sp_a2_trust_fling - Trust Fling - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_pit_flings - Pit Flings - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_fizzler_intro - Fizzler Intro - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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***CHAPTER 3***
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sp_a2_sphere_peek - Ceiling Catapult - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_ricochet - Ricochet
"Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today.
I *DID* see some hu-man-*S*. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
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sp_a2_bridge_intro - Bridge Intro
"Did you guess 'sharks'? Because *THAT'S* wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel."
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sp_a2_bridge_the_gap - Bridge the Gap
"Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section.
Oh, there's lots of room *HERE*. 'Did.... well.  ...  Enough.'"
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sp_a2_turret_intro - Turret Intro - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_laser_relays - Laser Relays
"Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure.
Well. *TECHNICALLY*, it's a *MEDICAL* experiment. What's important is, it's a present."
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sp_a2_turret_blocker - Turret Blocker
"I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name.
A man *AND* a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world."
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sp_a2_laser_vs_turret - Laser vs. Turret
When GLaDOS hits the high note the second time.  You should really practice this one as it's not like the others.
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sp_a2_pull_the_rug - Pull the Rug
"I'll bet you think I forgot about your surprise. I didn't. In fact, we're headed to your surprise right now.
After all *THESE* years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it."
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***CHAPTER 4***
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sp_a2_column_blocker - Column Blocker - NO DIALOGUE CUES,
jerry skip: (lazer with turret/bridges) 1459.78, 11.80, 19.20/11.74, 19.46
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sp_a2_laser_chaining - Laser Chaining - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_triple_laser - Triple Laser
"I think these test chambers look even better than they did before. It was easy, really.
You just have to look at things objectively, *SEE* what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat."
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sp_a2_bts1 - Jailbreak
"I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hear-*ING*..."
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sp_a2_bts2 - Escape - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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***CHAPTER 5***
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sp_a2_bts3 - Turret Factory - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_bts4 - Turret Sabotage - NO DIALOGUE CUES,
defective turret skip: 1083.97, -29.20, -0.61------ 6783.93, -0.02, 167.35
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sp_a2_bts5 - Neurotoxin Sabotage - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_bts6 - Tube Ride - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a2_core - Core - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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***CHAPTER 6***
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sp_a3_00 - Long Fall - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a3_01 - Underground - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a3_03 - Cave Johnson - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a3_jump_intro - Repulsion Intro
    "Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: *(go inbetween 'me' and 'do not')* do not get covered in the repulsion gel."
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sp_a3_bomb_flings - Bomb Flings
"Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent *CALCIUM* in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. *(go inbetween "brain" and "there's")*
There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it.
I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction."
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sp_a3_crazy_box - Crazy Box
"Science isn't about why. It's about why not. Why is so much of our science dangerous?
Why not marry safe science if you love it so much.
In fact, why not invent a special safety *DOOR* that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired."
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sp_a3_transition01 - PotatOS - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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***CHAPTER 7***
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sp_a3_speed_ramp - Propulsion Intro
"Great job, astronaut, war hero, and/or Olympian! With your help, we're *GONNA* [tape cuts out]" (try not to go early on this one)
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sp_a3_speed_flings - Propulsion Flings
"In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier.
*AGAIN*: all you gotta do is let us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together."
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sp_a3_portal_intro - Conversion Intro - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a3_end - Three Gels - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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***CHAPTER 8***
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sp_a4_intro - Test
Bunnyhopping to the test chamber again:
"Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just *KEEP* solving this test.
Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier."
Dialogue Skip:
"Alright, can't blame me for trying. Okay... New tests, new tests... there's gotta be some tests around here *SOMEWHERE* (go inbetween the 'some' and 'where' syllables, maybe a bit later)."
Elevator Cue:
"Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work. *AND* it almost killed me."
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sp_a4_tb_intro - Funnel Intro
"Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us. The good *NEWS* is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that."
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sp_a4_tb_trust_drop - Ceiling Button
"I know we're in a lot *OF* trouble and probably about to die. But that was worth it."
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sp_a4_tb_wall_button - Wall Button
 "Oh no... *(go between "no" and "it's")It's happening sooner than I expected. I'm sure we'll be fine."
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sp_a4_tb_polarity - Polarity - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a4_tb_catch - Funnel Catch
    "The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... *UNBEARABLE*.
    Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it. It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though..."
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sp_a4_stop_the_box - Stop the Box
    "Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
    No. *NO*. That was the solution. Rrrg! What am I missing?"
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sp_a4_laser_catapult - Laser Catapult
"Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions?
Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the *CRUCIAL* functions required to keep this facility from exploding."
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sp_a4_laser_platform - Laser Platform - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a4_speed_tb_catch - Propulsion Catch
"You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to (go between'to'and'death')   death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead. Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but..."
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sp_a4_jump_polarity - Repulsion Polarity "So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise *FOR* us. What did he FIND back there?"
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***CHAPTER 9***
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sp_a4_finale1 - Finale 1 - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a4_finale2 - Finale 2 - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a4_finale3 - Finale 3 - NO DIALOGUE CUES
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sp_a4_finale4 - Finale 4
First bomb preserve shot (under wheatley): "Ahhh... *WHA-* What happened?"
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COOP:
Note: Blue should be doing these fades as orange has ping and therefore orange would have to go [ping] ms early for every fade.
Calibration - no fade
1-1 Doors - no fade
1-2 Buttons - no fade
1-3 Lasers - At least one of you is doing very [V]ery well
1-4 Rat Maze - Will be reflected in your final [Sc]ore
1-5 Laser Crusher - Thats not just flattery, you are gr[eat] at science
1-6 Behind the Scenes- disc
2-1 Flings - into a receptical designed to exactly fit an edgeless safet[y] cube
2-2 Infinifling - you must be very, very prou[d]
2-3 Team Retrieval - ***no fade***
2-4 Vertical Flings - no fade
2-5 Catapults - no fade
2-6 Multifling - without the looming consequence of [d]eath
2-7 Fling Crushers - I think you have earned a break [from] the official testing courses
2-8 Industrial Fan - disc
3-1 Coop Bridges - The one thing you cant do yet? Let me give you a cl[ue]
3-2 Bridge Swap - The testing track hall of fame for tha[t]
3-3 Fling Block - You would've wanted a reward for completing this test, a reward for [t]esting
3-4 Catapult Block - They described it as impossible, dead[ly], cruel
3-5 Bridge Fling - I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you, he refu[s]ed
3-6 Turret Walls - The humans must have reconfigured it from my original [p]lans
3-7 Turret Assassin - To repair these tests, you would've never completed them. So [a]gain.
3-8 Bridge Testing - disc
4-1 Coop Funnels - The word orange is derived from the [s]ame Latin root
4-2 Funnel Drill - Orange is dragging you down, there, [I've] said it
4-3 Funnel Catch - While teamwork is needed to complete these test, im not sur[e] I trust
4-4 Funnel Laser - Are you doing that just to aggre[v]ate me?
4-5 Coop Polarity - I was just asking blue if he trusted you, I trust y[ou].
4-6 Funnel Hop - Feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you? If [O]range said
4-7 Advanced Polarity - To feel either of those emotions, so I can trust [you] 100%
4-8 Funnel Maze - The standard section of this course, before we can go any further [x] I need
4-9 Turret Warehouse - disc
5-1 Repulsion Jumps - You two really are the best cooperative tes[t]ing team.
5-2 Double Bounce - The number one request? [x] Less...
5-3 Bridge Repulsion - You will need him for the f[i]nal track
5-4 Wall Repulsion - Don't worry, if they ever write a historica[l] document
5-5 Propulsion Crushers - If that doesn't moti[v]ate you
5-6 Turret Ninja - Are you [as] excited as I am?
5-7 Propulsion Retrieval - The ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about [x] A million
5-8 Vault Entrance - taunt