The Field Guide to Internet Kooks

When in the wild, kooks are readily identified by their visual characteristics, some of which follow. Not all kooks will exhibit all characteristics, but, though some eagles are not bald, all eagles have wings (apart from golf scores).

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Suggestions of invalidity
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While "Don't believe what I tell you, do your own research!" is a great personal philosophy, it's a bit of a warning sign if it is
a) repeated more than five times,
b) written in bold, 300 point font, or
c) spoken as regards something impossible to research, like claims of life in other galaxies, researchers who solely publish their conclusions in obscure languages, like Klingon, or the observed results of cold fusion tests. Bonus points if [url=http://hauntedklinik.xtreemhost.com/hkdc/research.htm]someone feels the need to write a whole damn essay on the subject[/url] or [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbqLnv1rCy0]rants about doing your own research, while saying that they will provide the research materials[/url].

This is, in fact, so indicative of a kook, that a handy directory of them can be generated through [url=http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=%22do+your+own+research%22+%22don%27t+believe+me%22]a quick search of these terms[/url].

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Crazy Fonts and Colors
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Boy, if there's one thing that you can count on with a kook, it's a fascination with seemingly random colours, applied to text and backgrounds. I'm sure that there is a purpose somewhere, but Lord only knows what the translation might be. To me, it just makes it really annoying to read, but I'm sure that it's "insightful" in some manner.

[url=http://www.johnellis.com/]Exhibit One[/url]
[url=http://unsealing-the-seven-seals.blogspot.com/]Case Two[/url]

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Links 'O Plenty
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Another good clue is a million links to articles/rants/information buried within the web site. Generally, this indicates that the person has spent most of their life on this project, rarely a good thing.

[url=http://www.tldm.org/]Exhibit One[/url]
[url=http://unveiledsecretsandmessagesoflight.blogspot.com/]Exhibit Two[/url]

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Gigantic Wall of Text
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For some reason, kooks are seemingly allergic to the RETURN key -- the amount of white space in a post, page or message is inversely proportional to the amount of insanity contained within. If there is logic here, it would be that the harder something is to read, the more one has to concentrate to read it. Me, I'm partial to the theory that too much white space swallows your soul.

[url=https://astroengineer.wordpress.com/tag/ghost/]Exhibit One[/url]
[url=http://mythicalcreatures666.tripod.com/id1.html]Exhibit Two[/url]

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Page Without End
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A somewhat more entertaining counterpart to the Gigantic Wall of Text, the Page Without End is also laden with text, but it's punctuated with graphics (relevant or not,) YouTube videos, and font/colour shifts, going on, it seems, forever. Some of these would take hours to get through, as the kooks behind it apparently feel that if you're forced to go to another page, your senses will return to you during the load time.

[url=http://www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmicapollo.html]Exhibit One[/url]
[url=http://www.free-energy-info.co.uk/]Exhibit Two[/url]

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Misrepresentation of Identity
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One sure sign is someone who presents themselves as someone that they are surely not. Would Jesus announce his return to the Earth by posting on some obscure website? Or would he be more likely to eviscerate a pompous ass like Richard Dawkins on live television?

[url=https://johnthewitness.wordpress.com/about-me/]Exhibit One[/url]
[url=http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1550267/pg1]Exhibit Two[/url]

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Misrepresentation of Reality
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Another sign is the display of obviously falsifiable statements as truth. Only a kook would think that the United States established a "Department of Peace" in 2001 or that Josef Mengele is still alive, well, and causing mayhem in the US (a very agile 101 year old, it would seem.)

[url=http://www.stardoves.com/PeaceAmbassadors.html]Exhibit One[/url]
[url=http://www.thebushconnection.com/]Exhibit Two[/url]

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Wow… just… wow.
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Sometimes, we run across kooks who just seem to hit a home run on the crackpot scale and pull so many of these characteristics together that one is left to step back and admire the insanity.

[url=http://www.futurevisionaries.com/]Exhibit One: A man who claims to have copyrighted the term "future", and wants to sue the Pep Boys[/url]
[url=http://cassiopaea.org/]Exhibit Two: A scientific mystic, who apparently doesn't understand the contradiction of that term[/url]
[url=http://www.iprojectelijah.com/]Exhibit Three: Current incarnation of Thoth[/url] (who also was arrested for [url=http://pastebin.com/nCRuL4WW]credit card fraud[/url])

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Conclusion
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I would like to thank you for your attention to this important sociological study, of the Internet kook in the wild. And please, remember: "If you see something, say something!" Of course, on the Internet, we're always "seeing something", so carry on with caution.

-adjensen; a member of AboveTopSecret.com
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread882111/pg1