[FR] Day Who's that pokemon

>Day Who's that Pokemon in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Resident human and rape bait in Ponyville
>You are about to enjoy a nice breakfast of Pinkie O's when there is a knock at your door.
>This has become routine for you. Instead of heading to the door, you peek out the window.
>Fluttershy is pressing her cheek up against it and smiling.
>”Hi Anon.”
“Hey Fluttershy.”
>”Can I come in and suck your dick?”
“No.”
>You close the blinds and get back to your cereal.
>”Okay. Can I come in and guess your fetish?”
“No.”
>You take a bite out of the pink sugar coated balls.
>”Can I come in and fuck you?”
“No.”
>You pull out a copy of today's foal free press and take spoonful of cereal.
>”Can I come in and rape you?”
“No.”
>Looks like someone is claiming to have found a pond that grants wishes in the Everfree forest.
>”... Can I come in and snuggle?”
“No.”
>You turn the page and there is a story on human sexual preferences. It is just one giant list of what humans aren't into.
>”Anon, can I come in and have some cereal?”
“BITCH, FUCK NO!”
>These are YOUR Pinkie O's... Yours.
>You hear a whimper and flapping.
>Fluttershy is leaving for the day.
>You slurp up the milk from your cereal and put the bowl in the sink.
>After a quick shower, shit, and shave; you are off to work.
>Along the way you run into a tollbooth set up by Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
“Whatever it is, no.”
>”Sorry Anon, but you're going to have to pay the toll to get into town.”
“No.”
>”Ya don't even know what it is yet!”
“Oh, I do. Answer is still no.”
>You jump the flimsy block and continue to walk to town.
>”We have a jumper here!”
>You are tackled by Applejack and held down.
“Pfft! Pfft! Get off me!”
>”Sorry Anon, ah'm afraid ah can't do that.”
>Rainbow dash struts in front of you with a large black floppy dildo.
“Oh HELL no!”
>You squirm your way free form Applejack and run to town.
>”Get that human!”
>Applejack's steps aren't far behind your own.
>”Hey Anon.”
>You turn your head and see Rainbow Dash doing the backstroke while keeping up with you.
“Hey.”
>”You know you aren't faster than me.”
“I know.”
>”So why are you even trying?”
“Because I'm smarter than you.”
>You push Dash into a tree and she crashes all the way through.
“One down...”
>Applejack is hot on your tail, you can practically feel her on your ass.
>Luck is on your side though as Ponyville comes into view.
>It only takes another minute of sprinting before the dentist's office comes into view.
“Colgate! Applejack wants me to rub caramel all over my teeth!”
>A light brown stallion looks your way.
>”WHAT?!?”
>Applejack pounces you as you slow down, ripping your shirt off.
>”Yer mine now Anon!”
>*Click click*
>”Get off my human... Now.”
>Colgate is standing over you with a double barrel shotgun pointed at Applejack.
>The orange mare smiles and steps off you.
>”Ah don't want any trouble Colgate... heh.”
>”Mhmm, then why haven't you been flossing?”
>Applejack covers her mouth and her eyes dart left and right.
>”I'm going to give you until the count of three to go brush your teeth before I unload a daily dosage of lead into that not so pretty mouth of yours.”
>The cowmare turns pale as a ghost and hightails it in the other direction.
>”One.”
>She is still within Colgate's view.
>”Two.”
>She turns a corner and Colgate lowers her gun.
“Thanks boss.”
>Colgate jumps and smacks you upside the head.
>”You had Pinkie O's this morning!”
>You pull on your collar and chuckle.
“Y-you said I could have them once a week!”
>She sighs and walks into her office.
>”Come on, I have a toothbrush you can use.”
>You let out a sigh of relief and follow the dark blue mare.
>Colgate hands you a tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush.
>She gives you a stern glare and you head over to the sink behind her work station.
>”So who was it this time?”
>You turn the water on and wet the brush.
“Applejack and Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy showed up this morning too.”
>You shut the water off and put some tooth paste on it.
>Brushy brushy brushy.
>”No Twilight or Rarity? Not even a Pinkie surprise?”
>You shake your head and keep brushing.
>”Huh, slow day.”
>You nod and spit the foam out, then proceed to rinse your mouth.
>*Gargle gargle, spit*
“Yeah, lucky me.”
>Colgate hums and pulls out her copy of the foal free press.
>”You've been in the news a lot lately.”
“Blame the rapesixt's”
>”... That's a horrible name Anon.”
>You hang your head in shame.
“I know, I'm sorry.”
>She giggles and puts the paper down.
>”Ah, pond that grants wishes. It's true you know.”
“What?”
>Colgate walks past you and pulls out some floss.
>”Yeah, I've been there.”
>You look at her as if she is crazy.
>”It's true. How do you think I got a dental office with working equipment from the human world?”
“Wait, so the x-ray machine, the drills, that weird machine that I don't know what it does.”
>She nods and starts to floss her teeth.
>”All human.”
>You walk up next to her and turn her to face you.
“Where is this pond Colgate?”


>Colgate has given you a map and backpack to find the pond of wishes.
>You love that mare, platonically.
“Let's see... turn right at the cave of eternal sorrow and left before I hit the ridge of hungry hungry lions.”
>It looks like it was drawn by a five year old, but it has been right about everything so far.
>The pit of snakes, the bear hole, the river filled with grape juice, even the part of sky that rains miniature soaps.
>You look over the map and see that all you have to do is pass the bridge of annoying questions. The pond is supposed to be after that.
>”HALT STRANGER.”
>You look up and see an old, wrinkle covered, human man wearing just briefs.
>”I AM LEMONPARTYIDUS. STATE YOUR BUSINESS.”
“... I am here to cross the bridge of annoying questions and find the pond of wishes.”
>”TO SEE THE POND AND AVOID MY PEE, YOU MUST ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS THREE. NUMBER ONE; WHAT IS YOUR NAME?”
“Anonymous.”
>”NUMBER TWO; WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE.”
“42.”
>”NUMBER THREE... DO YOU THINK I AM PRETTY?”
“I'm not gay, so no.”
>”IF YOU WERE?”
“Not into older men, so no.”
>”OH... OKAY... WELL YOU CAN CROSS THE BRIDGE... *SNIFF*”
>Lemonpartyidus steps out of the way and proceed to walk into the forest to cry. Like a bitch.
>You cross the bridge.
>As you do, more annoying questions fly upwards from the chasm below.
>”What happens if I stick my dick in a girl that was once a guy? Does that make me gay?”
>”Why don't girls just suck a guys dick off if they like him?”
>”Does pizza sauce stain underpants?”
>”If my father likes Hitler's mustache, does that make me a nazi?”
>These questions seem more obnoxious than annoying.
>You can easily ignore them due to many years of practice ignoring your family.
>Once you are across you find a pond with crystal clear water and stone statues of ponies around it.
“This is it...”
>You pull out the map one more time and read the instructions.
“For the pond to work, you must give up something you care about...”
>You pull out your box of Pinkie O's, the last box you stockpiled before Pinkie joined in with the rape gang.
“We've been through a lot you and I... Lot's of good mornings. I-I'm gonna miss you.”
>You hug the box and you can swear you can feel it hug back.
“Welp, that's over with.”
>You toss the box into the pond and clap your hands against each other.
“Now for my wish.”
>A voice rings from the pond.
>”You sacrificed a legitimately cared for object. For your sacrifice, I shall grant you one wish.”
>The voice sounds suspiciously like Morgan Freeman.
>Finally, a way home.
“Pond, I wish to-”
>Wait, you were going to wish to return home.
>Are you fucking retarded?!
>You hated that place!
>Your family sucked.
>Your friends sucked.
>Job sucked.
>The only good thing would be the porn and that's not worth a fucking wish!
>”Can you repeat your wish? I could not hear you.”
>You need to think about this for a moment.
>What is the one thing you would want or need the most in this world...


>You made the right choice.
>No, really, this is the best possible choice you could have made.
>You are pushing a very large box with wheels at the bottom through Ponyville.
>”There you are Anon!”
>Twilight, just the pony you were looking for.
“Heeeeey Twilight.”
>”Anon, we have had it with your constant denial of monkey dick! We've decided that this ends today. PANTS OFF!”
>You look around the box and see that all six of your rapists are waiting.
>They could not have made this any easier for you.
“No. How about instead we play a game?”
>Pinkie gasps and smiles, hopping around you
>”Game? I love games! Yes yes yes!”
“Excellent. Now, the first person to guess what's in the boss within a minute, doesn't get it.”
>Pinkie stops hopping midair and looks at you.
>”Why would we play that?”
>This mare's complete and utter lack of respect for the laws of physics pisses you off sometimes.
“Trust me, you don't want whats inside it.”
>”Uh, is it sugarfree Pinkie O's?”
>”Is it a book with a horrible ending?”
>”Ah reckon it's a Zebra.”
>Whoa! Where the fuck did that come from?”
>”Hmm, is it fake gems? Heavens, how horrifying!”
>”I-Is it a chastity belt?”
>Rainbow Dash is excitedly shaking her forehooves up and down while floating.
>”It's Pikachu! Is it Pikachu? Oh I bet it's Pikachu!”
>Twilight looks at Dash with such contempt.
>”He said we WOULDN'T want it.”
>Dash stops shaking her forehooves and looks at Twilight.
>”Is it a restraining order?”
“Sorta. Too bad your minute's up. Ladies and... well, ladies! Allow me to present~”
>You kick the box and run a few feet.
>The walls of the box fall and reveal your wish.
“Chuck Norris bot!”
>A human looking Chuck Norris steps out of the box, clad in walker Texas ranger uniform.
>Rainbow Dash looks at you with disgust.
>”Who the buck is Chuck No-”
>Chuck bot uppercuts the mare straight into the sky.
>”Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-”
>She disappears with a twinkle, lost to the sky gods.
>”Anon! Are ya crazy!”
>Chuck bot's beard opens up and reveals a fist, that punches Applejack straight in the face.
>She yells and falls back, grabbing at her face.
>”Consarn it! Ya no good dirty-”
>Applejack explodes.
>The rest of your rape crew is too filled with fear to move.
>Chuck bot picks up Twilight and stares at her.
>”Wh-what is he do-”
>Her eyes go wide and Chuck bot lets go. Twilight starts spasming and twitching. She speaks in tongues while shaking on the floor.
>”rcfagvbhkjlijsdzvknla sznpvnklnd;dvl lzbnd”
>”Tw-twilight? Darling?”
>Chuck bot stands in front of Rarity, she looks up and smiles.
>”H-Hello there. M-May I interest you in some... gems?”
>Chuck bot speaks for the first time.
>”MeN wHo WeAr GeMs ArE fAgGoTs. GoD hAtEs FaGgOtS. AlsO bLaCk PeOpLe.”
>WHOA, where the fuck did this come from?
>Chuck bot squishes Rarity's head between his palms.
>She falls over and explodes.
>”Anon.”
>You turn and Pinkie Pie is next to you.
“Don't forget this one.”
>Chuck bot walks towards the pink mare.
>”I will give you a lifetime's supply of Pinkie O's for free if you let me live.”
“...”
>He is four feet from her.
>”AND I WON'T TRY TO RAPE YOU!”
>She is now shaking with fear.
“Okay, let her live.”
>Chuck bot stops.
>Pinkie sighs and laughs.
>”Whoo, okay! Just come by whenever to pick them up. Now if you excuse me.”
>She hops in a bush and an explosion of yellow liquid shoots up out of it.
“Nasty.”
>Fluttershy is the only one left.
>”A... Anon?”
>Chuck bot looks at her, walking towards his next target.
“Yes Fluttershy?”
>She cries and sniffles.
>”I love you...”
>Wait...
“Chuck bot, hold up a second.”
>Chuck bot stops.
“What did you just say?”
>”I-If I am going to die, I want you to know I love you.”
>She has never said this before.
>As you look over her, you notice she is kinda cute.
“Chuck bot, let her live.”
>Fluttershy smiles and flutters over to you.
>”R-really?”
“Yeah, you get to live.”
>She hugs you and smiles.
>”Oh, thank you Anon.”
“Bitch, you best get off me before I change my mind.”
>She lets go and steps back.
>”Eh heh... So, I'll just be-”
“Not so fast.”


>Day You are married to Colgate in Equestria.
>Yeah, you decided to tie the not with your boss.
>It's not so bad, Colgate is a pretty cool mare.
>She kills all the plaque and doesn't afraid of anything.
>Plus she makes all your Pinkie O's lack the normally destructive properties they have on teeth.
>”A-Anon?”
>Oh, and you kept Fluttershy as a pet.
“Yes Fluttershy?”
>She walks up to you, wearing the nice collar you got her.
>”C-Can I have some Pinkie O's?”
>She's been a good girl lately.
>You pour her a bowl and go to see what's in the new foal free press.
“Hmm, supreme leader Anon decrees that being Diamond Tiara is illegal and has had all Diamond Tiara's thrown in jail.”
>You remember that day, it was a good one.
>Oh, and you took over Equestria using Chuck bot.
>You ring a little bell and in step your maids.
>”What can we do for you master Anonymous?”
>Celestia is glaring at you as if trying to make your head explode with her thoughts. Like Chuck bot can. Luna on the other hand is happy with her position. She gets to wear a cute costume and get the monkey dick.
“Bring me more Pinkie O's Celestia. Luna, I need a tongue bath.”
>Fucking awesome life.