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- <div id="title"><i>P</i>itch Black the Nightmare King</div><!-- change your title here-->
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- <a href="/" title="Home">01.</a>
- <a href="/ask" title="Message">02.</a>
- <a href="http://tumblr.com" title="Dashboard">03.</a>
- <a href="http://guardianindarkness.tumblr.com/Kozmotis%20headcanons" title="Kozmotis Headcanons">04.</a>
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- <span class="stat">Name:</span> Pitch Black<br />
- <span class="stat">Astrological Sign:</span> Capricorn<br />
- <span class="stat">MBTI Personality:</span> ISTJ<br />
- <span class="stat">D&D Alignment:</span> Lawful Evil [Moving <i>toward</i> True Neutral]<br />
- <span class="stat">Harry Potter House:</span> Slytherin<br />
- <span class="stat">Headcanons:</span> <p>1. <span>The infamous “fall” of Kozmotis and the transformation to Pitch Black the Nightmare King provide some fascinating insights into his psyche. </span></p>
- <p>The most interesting, and heartbreaking, has to do with the question of how much he was really tricked by the Fearlings. </p>
- <p>First of all it is very clear that Kozmotis succumbed because of a selfless love for his daughter Seraphina. Nothing horrified him more than the idea that she was trapped with his enemies the Fearlings, and in the line of danger: “Daddy, I’m scared and it’s dark in here,” they kept saying, to tempt him to open the Prison Planet’s jail cell door. </p>
- <p>After a moment of believing the fake Seraphina’s voice was really his daughter, Kozmotis DID REALIZE that it was a Fearling trick. HE PERMITTED HIMSELF TO BE FOOLED ANYWAY, on an UNCONSCIOUS level. He “went into a trance” and opened the door. </p>
- <p>To me this indicates that, on some level, Kozmotis wanted to be relieved of his awful “honor” in protecting the entire world all by himself, so that he could go home to his little girl. ”Whoops, I made a mistake, I let them out, I’m not worthy of this honor anymore, so please please let me go home.”</p>
- <p>HOWEVER, it should be noted that he came out of the trance once the door was opened and he fought the Fearlings “valiantly.” He did NOT succumb to them voluntarily. They were too great in number and consumed him. </p>
- <p>He instantly lost both his memories and his identity. </p>
- <p>2. <strong>From the point of his transformation, through his sealing by Nightlight, and all the way until Katherine (Mother Goose) shows him his lost locket, Pitch Black DOES NOT REMEMBER that his daughter Seraphina EVER EXISTED.</strong><span> He does NOT remember his human life, or the fact that it was centered on protecting the very children whom he now terrorizes. </span></p>
- <p><strong>Pitch, then, DOES NOT realize that Mother Nature is his daughter grown up</strong>. He has no notion of her fate and he has about as much consciousness of her existence as Nightlight and Toothiana do. She is, to him, <strong>a mere impression,</strong> <strong>a vague sense of “being watched” by someone who will not speak or show him/herself.</strong> Pitch finds this unnerving and <strong>he avoids it as much as he can</strong>, because it’s clear to him that this inexplicable presence is more powerful than he is. <strong>He senses Mother Nature’s presence most clearly when it’s raining</strong> and he always seeks shelter under the nearest child’s bed to hide from it.</p>
- <p><strong>It is only AFTER Katherine shows him Seraphina’s locket that he remembers his daughter’s existence—and even then, he does NOT connect her to Mother Nature.</strong> But at that point, Pitch realizes that Seraphina lived THOUSANDS of years ago, and <strong>comes to the false conclusion that she is DEAD.</strong> This causes him the anguish that the Guardians witness and that haunts Katherine. <strong>He immediately concludes that these memories are not comforts but liabilities, since he mistakenly believes that his daughter is forever lost to him. It becomes his goal to eradicate his humanity because it will stop the perennial pain of remembering what is lost. </strong></p>
- <p>Nightlight’s backfiring spell and Seraphina’s locket begin to reverse the Fearling process on Pitch’s soul and to uncover what is left of Kozmotis inside him. He DOES NOT realize that this is what is happening; instead he irrationally sees it as a kind of curse or affliction that Nightlight started and Katherine somehow cunningly carried through, “preying on his weakness.” </p>
- <p><strong>When Pitch is not actively looking at the locket, he FORGETS most of his revelations about his human life</strong>. <strong> However, since the locket is fused to his hand now, every time he looks at it, the memories come back a little bit stronger and more detailed, and cause him a little bit more emotional and physical anguish—and revert him a little bit more back to humanity.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>The only person who is FULLY aware of the circumstances of Pitch’s past is Sanderson Mansnoozie, because Sandman is privy to everyone’s dreams, even Pitch’s: and, though he does not remember it when he is awake, Pitch dreams nightly about Seraphina, and unwittingly astrally projects thoughts of comfort and love to Mother Nature. </strong></p>
- <p>3. <span>Meteor light and star sand are two of the few known impervious antidotes to Fearling magic. Pitch himself is weakened physically, mentally, and emotionally by any form of light.</span></p>
- <p>4. <span>Pitch, while he is mainly Fear, is also an archetypal arbiter of “loss of innocence.” He is the reason why the children in Santoff Claussen realize that there are bad and scary things in the world, and that happiness cannot always be unequivocal. This is not in and of itself an evil thing; in fact it’s a sad necessity. But the delight he takes in carrying out his duty IS evil. </span></p>
- <p>5. <span>While in the film, he readily refers to himself as such, in the books, Pitch absolutely LOATHES being called the “Boogeyman.” He feels it trivializes his fearful power by giving it a silly name. (Nick St. North, p. 172).</span></p>
- <p> <strong>Pitch also thinks on how frustrating it is to not have a tangible body: “Granted, in the robot’s body he could not turn to vapor or grow to the size of a thundercloud, but it reminded him of what it had been to be an actual <em>being</em>—solid, substantial, <em>real</em>. Something no child or adult could dismiss as a mere nightmare or imagined vision.” (p. 172) He then proceeds to muse on how he can be deeply powerful and “pure evil” in the dark and force children and adults to have “torturous nightmares,” but during the day they can dismiss it, and how this frustrates him. This is really significant because it doesn’t just show Pitch’s greed for power and vengeance (though it certainly does show that), it also shows his hunger for very basic concepts of acknowledgment and acceptance, which even he doesn’t seem to consciously realize he possesses. </strong></p>
- <p><strong>Pitch and Jack Frost have a great deal in common in this way, and under other circumstances, would make very good friends. </strong></p>
- <p>6. <span>Being LAUGHED AT seems to “taunt and infuriate” Pitch. This makes a lot of sense considering one of the best ways to dispel fear is through good humor. </span></p>
- <p>7. <span>Pitch’s prior virtues become evil “versions” that make him a particularly daunting villain. His stalwartness becomes obsession, his candor becomes cruel bluntness, his sorrow and longing become greed. It’s interesting that as Fear, he delights in chaos, yet he goes about his fear-mongering and innocence-destroying very DUTIFULLY and SYSTEMATICALLY, like he is still the soldier he was in a past life.</span></p>
- <p>8. <span>Pitch’s own deepest fear is to be forgotten, to be insignificant, and to be alone. He is a walking irony because he is also the embodiment of fear, shadows, and solitude. He is also inherently self-defeating because for Fear to be believed in, children must be afraid, and of course can do nothing but dislike and wish away the source of their fear. A perfect example is the death of Jackson Overland Frost. When Jack awakened in the dark cold ice-covered pond, Pitch was there, because Jack was afraid. Pitch sensed camaraderie in this child and wanted to help him, but Jack wanted to stop being afraid, and instead gravitated toward the light of the Man in the Moon. Pitch was left, again, alone. </span></p>
- <p>Pitch is, unconsciously, irrationally angry at all children, when once he cherished them, because the reason why he was constantly separated from his own daughter in his previous life was to safeguard the children of all the world against evil. This, beyond having his soul possessed by fear and discord, is the main reason why he exhibits so much anger toward children and the Guardians, and seems to derive so much schadenfreude out of feeding nightmares to human beings.</p>
- <p>Pitch feels incredibly resentful toward MiM and the Guardians because he feels like they “changed the rules” that he had dutifully gone about carrying out for the entirety of the Dark Ages. He feels that he has been forced into the position of the “bad guy” in the human narrative and has been robbed of any kind of recognition or gratitude for the dirty work that he is stuck carrying out. ”Oh poor heart, I was doomed from the start, doomed to play the villain’s part,” as the song goes. To compensate Pitch has decided to fully embrace his role and to relish it with a great deal of sadism. It is also why, after the events of the books, when Nicholas St. North offered to allow Pitch to become a Guardian (not strict canon but a Rufftoons cartoon), around the time that Jack Frost was reborn as a spirit, Pitch refused the offer. </p>
- <p>9. <span>Pitch’s attire is literally darkness made tangible form. For this reason he can shift the shape not only of his clothing but his entire body at will. </span></p>
- <p>10. <strong>His lair can be accessed through the shadows under any child’s bed. But he has to permit people to follow him there. </strong></p>
- <p><strong>He can travel through shadows to and from any point in the world, not unlike how Bunnymund uses networks of tunnels through the earth. </strong></p>
- <p>11. <span>Pitch is made from the same source spirit as Sanderson Mansnoozie (Sandman), which suggests they are opposite complements and may even suggest that some part of Kozmotis the good human has been transferred to Sandman. </span></p>
- <p>12. <span>What Pitch needs most is for children to believe in, but not fear, him. Even Pitch does not realize how much this would heal his heart and his psyche, since Jamie said this to him in the RotG film and he reacted with hostility and terror. </span></p>
- <p>However something that would actually touch Pitch in a surefire manner: Leaving out tributes to him the way that children do for Santa Claus (Nick). One of my followers (Obsessioncycle) came up with the idea of leaving Pitch dark chocolate biscotti and black coffee in place of cookies and milk. This would acknowledge the unpleasant nature of the duty Pitch is bound to carry out, and has been for centuries, and it would also acknowledge that he exists and is appreciated. If the bed is a bunk bed, all the better; leave these tributes and keep the bottom bunk voided, as a way to say, “here is a more comfortable place for you to hide than under the bed.” (inspired by <a href="http://leeyer.tumblr.com/post/40263193928/idea-from-my-friend-d">this</a> art ). But it’s a rare task for a child to have enough emotional sophistication to recognize that fear is necessary and even, in measured doses, healthy, to natural development, so it’s unlikely that many kids are going to do tribute to the Bogeyman. </p>
- <p>13. <span>Kozmotis/Pitch is a Capricorn. There are many reasons for my choice of this astrological sign. The primary reason is the human Kozmotis’s inordinate sense of duty and responsibility, his discipline, preservation of convention and tradition, his protective streak, his stubborn determination, and his meticulous pragmatism; it is also the demon Pitch’s negative version of all of these traits, as well as his capacity for methodical and patient scheming, his acerbic wit and brusque, frank speech, and his disinterest in material possessions. Capricorns are also born in December and January, months of the dead of winter which seem to suit the character post-transformation. Capricorns are ruled by the planet Saturn, which is an arbiter of wisdom, law enforcement, THE COLOR BLACK, and the melancholic temper. As an additional irony, Pitch’s cloak is formed from lead at the center of the earth which sunlight and moonlight have never touched and cannot penetrate, and lead is the metal of Capricorn. </span></p>
- <p>14. <strong>BOOK SPOILERS.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>After reuniting with his daughter Seraphina, in the form of Mother Nature, Pitch Black has erratic but strong reversions to his human form, Kozmotis, just upon touching her.</strong> Despite being a cold, calculating, and theatrically mercurial being, he also recognizes that centuries of solitude and waiting have perhaps permanently damaged his daughter’s psyche, and he realizes that his misguided efforts to purge the memories of her from his psyche with Toothiana’s help (which he did when he thought Seraphina was long since dead) hurt her deeply. With a sense of guilt and responsibility that are characteristic of the human he once was, Pitch displays extraordinary calm, patience, and tenderness with his daughter’s bipolar humors, endures them without fear or concern for his own safety, and simply “waits her moods out” while sitting beside her through all manner of natural disasters. </p>
- <p>Nights when children have very few bad dreams are probably nights when Pitch has “clocked out early” to go and console Seraphina through a bad emotional episode. </p>
- <p>But this tender and dutiful demeanor toward his only child is not something Pitch displays toward any other living creature, save perhaps Katherine/Mother Goose. And woe to anyone who lays a finger on either Seraphina or Katherine if Pitch catches wind of it. </p>
- <p>15.<strong> </strong><span>After being reconciled with his daughter, Pitch makes up his long absence to her by frequently exploring and praising her creations (seasonal changes, odd animals, flora, and natural phenomena) as if he were the proud daddy of a particularly precocious freelance artist. </span></p>
- <p>16. <span>Kozmotis was a calm and level-headed man, steady as a rock, but Pitch is mercurial, artistic, and moody (something his daughter seems to have inherited when she too transformed into a mythic being). </span></p>
- <p><span>This has an interesting connection to both of their “jobs” as immortals.</span></p>
- <p>Just as storms and natural disasters signal Seraphina’s bad moods, nights that are full of wildly vivid nightmares signal Pitch’s bad moods. On the other hand nights that feature vaguely unpleasant dreams signal his good moods. This is actually less because Pitch is moody and more because the diligent workaholism of Kozmotis carried over to his life as the Bogeyman. When he’s upset, he buries himself in his work and becomes “productive,” <span>with the results being that the meticulousness to detail of his nightmares exponentially increase.</span></p>
- <p>17. <span>When he realizes who has been observing him from a distance since his exile to earth, Pitch Black appreciates that his daughter has been watching him in the form of Mother Nature. He is sad for her loneliness, like his own, but he also is deeply moved by the idea that she has been keeping a constant vigil. Why?</span></p>
- <p>Because what he had always longed for most is to be</p>
- <p>observed</p>
- <p>acknowledged</p>
- <p>appreciated</p>
- <p>recognized</p>
- <p>SEEN. </p>
- <p>And Seraphina Pitchiner has faithfully met this need for millennia. Pitch will never fully cease to exist, because of his daughter. </p>
- <p>So Pitch is no longer alone, and neither is Seraphina. They see each other.</p>
- <p>18. <span>Pitch is a shape-shifter (as per the first novel, in which he turned into a wolf spider to deceive the Guardians). He has been known to take the form of various animals for the sake of pranks or in order to conceal himself from his enemies. His favorite forms to take are a black adder, a wolf spider, a black cat, a timber wolf, a black pine marten (a kind of woodland ferret), a raven, and most of all, a harpy eagle. Irony of ironies, he is able to conceal himself so perfectly in these shapes because his daughter created animals inspired by her father’s humanoid form. </span></p>
- <p>19. <span>Inspired by a simple but gorgeous </span><a href="http://toxicneonspacemonkey.tumblr.com/post/42594810144/look-what-took-me-only-like-4-hours">animation</a><span>. According to the books, Pitch’s touch immediately transforms any living thing into a Fearling, a creature of terror and darkness. I see this as something directly the fault of the Fearlings that parasitically latch onto his soul, and something almost inadvertent, involuntary. Over time, Pitch slowly learns to control when things he touches become Fearlings, and when they remain unchanged. By the point of the movie, 300 years after the books, he’s learned to consciously determine when Fearling energy alters what he touches. But sometimes it happens anyway (because truly, while he does give them order and direction, the Fearlings almost completely control their “master” and “king,” and merely manipulate him into thinking he is their sovereign). </span></p>
- <p>Secretly, the fact that things he touches become tainted beyond his control is one reason why Pitch remains aloof from others and, to an extent, fears normal friendships and relationships. It’s also why he almost never touches anything he feels he might become fond of. It’s why he never touches children or lets them touch him. It’s why he feels locked into the role that he serves, as the artist of Fear, because whether he wishes to or not, he is likely to just turn anything he touches into darkness, like an anti-King Midas. </p>
- <p>This is a huge barrier between Pitch and his personal growth/repentance. The desire to play a more neutral, constructive role as a fear-mongerer is often squashed because he believes he has no choice in the matter. If children are damaged or even transformed into his minions simply by coming into contact with Pitch, how can he ever be a benevolent force, he reasons? And why bother to try?</p>
- <p>Interestingly, this is one reason why touching Katherine’s shoulders at the end of the third novel gave Pitch such a sense of shock and wonder. Both his human and demon hands were able to touch her—gently—without transforming her. For Pitch, this moment was a major turning point because it gave him hope of more agency over his role in the universe. </p>
- <p>20. <span>Based DIRECTLY on </span><a href="http://phobs-heh.tumblr.com/post/36531390762/first-page-of-a-14-pages-strip-about-pitch-and-his">this</a><span> comic panel by Phobs-Heh.</span></p>
- <p>Pitch’s lair, which looks something like a sunken Venice, and is covered in empty bird cages, is evocative of his inner psyche and memories he lost, but the emotions of which remain as a kind of despairing residue. This is because the basic decor of his daughter Seraphina’s room in their home, back when she was a child and he a human, is reflected in the layout of his current lair. Particularly those bird cages.</p>
- <p>Such poor childhood experiences also made Kozmotis equally hellbent, as a father, NOT to ever make his own child feel somehow inferior. More than one private tutor of Seraphina’s was reamed out fiercely by General Pitchiner when he sensed his daughter was being treated too critically or harshly. Unfortunately Kozmotis couldn’t always protect Sera from the unkindness of her elders, at least not when he was away on duty. </p>
- <p>Another residual effect of these childhood experiences is Pitch Black’s tendency to hide in closets and under beds. When he was a child and trying to escape his tutors, parents, and uncaring relatives, Kozmotis would hide in these places on the enormous family estate to prolong the period before having to return to his oppressive lessons. The habit stuck even eons later. </p>
- <p>Kozmotis’s parents died when he was the age Seraphina was at his own “death” (still working out the details of their deaths). He was handed off to a series of rather tepid and uncaring rich relatives until he was finally stuck in a military academy in his teens. Peculiarly all these negative experiences of family only made the General more determined to form meaningful bonds of his own with his future wife and daughter. </p>
- <p>21. <span>Pitch the “Progenitor” (AKA why Pitch cannot solely be written off as an “evil” entity) : new headcanon</span></p>
- <p>So this has been rattling around in my head for a while now, so it’s not exactly new, but a writer here by the username of “SuchColors” just produced an exquisite paragraph of vivld prose describing Kozmotis’s transformation to Pitch and how his role in the Guardians series really is as a<em><strong> progenitor.</strong></em> I have long thought on this: <strong>on how Kozmotis’s fall—which prompted Seraphina Pitchiner somehow to become Mother Nature —was concordantly necessary in order to give rise to Planet Earth’s existence, and possibly that even of the Milky Way.</strong> Let’s take a look at the dictionary definition of that word:</p>
- <p><em>pro·gen·i·tor </em></p>
- <p><em>/prəˈjenətər/</em></p>
- <p><em>Noun</em></p>
- <ol>
- <li><em>A person or thing from which a person, animal, or plant is descended or originates; an ancestor or parent.</em></li>
- <li><em>A person who originates an artistic, political, or intellectual movement.</em></li>
- </ol>
- <p><em>Synonyms</em></p>
- <p><em>ancestor - forefather - forbear - predecessor - father</em></p>
- <p>It makes perfect sense, folks. ALl kinds of spiritual and religious tomes, including the Christian Bible, <strong>invoke the concept of DARKNESS as the first, primordial, state of NOT destruction, but CREATION.</strong> Let’s refer to the Bible for argument’s sake: </p>
- <p><em><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+1%3A1-31&version=ESV">Genesis 1:1-31</a> ESV / 9 helpful votes</em></p>
- <p><em>In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. </em></p>
- <p>Y<strong>ou WILL NOTE THAT DARKNESS IS<em> NOT</em> CALLED BAD or EVIL, we only assume this by a binary paradigm because light is called “good.” Rather, darkness is merely SEPARATED from light so that light can have distinction and purpose. Darkness exists so that light may flourish. Darkness is NECESSARY and CRUCIAL. <em>And it is the FIRST STEP in CREATING a given world. IT IS THE BLANK SLATE ON WHICH CREATION IS DRAWN. </em></strong></p>
- <p>What if William Joyce means this <strong>purposefully</strong>? What if Pitch, coming from the noblest character arguably in the entire series (Kozmotis) SELF SACRIFICING for the GREATER GOOD, <strong>represents the PRIMORDIAL STATE OF<em>CREATION</em>?</strong></p>
- <p>What if Pitch represents the MATERNAL WOMB?</p>
- <p>What if Pitch, FATHER OF MOTHER NATURE, represents the <strong>PROGENITOR?</strong><em><strong>That without which, NO GOOD AND SUBSEQUENT ENTITIES, INCLUDING THE MANY EARTHLINGS WHO ARE PART OF THE GUARDIANS TEAM, COULD HAVE ARISEN TO EXISTENCE? </strong></em></p>
- <p>————</p>
- <p><strong>DRABBLES:</strong></p>
- <p><strong>***********</strong></p>
- <p>When he was awake, Pitch the Nightmare King was pure atrocity.</p>
- <p>He was insatiable manipulation, spite, cruelty. The fear, pain, and sorrow of sentient beings were his hearty feast, on which he gorged his hollowed-out soul. He laughed a laugh that was loud, brittle, and joyless. He padded like a silently slithering snake, stomped like an incensed grizzly bear. Bit down like a rabid wolf, and howled at the unholy darkness like one too. He was a wraith, he was Nothingness made tangible, an evil necessity, a paradox. </p>
- <p>But even Pitch Black slept.</p>
- <p>And when Pitch Black slept, he was someone else entirely. </p>
- <p>The Bogeyman of legend, the eons-old malevolent spirit, the shade…almost never had nightmares. </p>
- <p>His dreams could be sad, longing, frustrated…but there was no fear. There was a purposefulness that his roving vengeful waking life lacked.</p>
- <p>It was a single purpose. </p>
- <p>There was a little girl. She had raven hued hair and she had pale beautiful enormous eyes, eyes made for…watching. Observing Wondering. </p>
- <p>Sometimes she was small, ten years old at best. Other times, she was a grown woman, with the same face, only a little older, more elongated. The shape of her nose and the texture of her hair were vaguely familiar. But he rarely had time to act on that; certainly, there was no time to ask her from whom she’d inherited her looks. </p>
- <p>In his dreams, the girlchild whose name he could not place was wandering through a dark forest. The fern and moss were overgrown; it had the musty smell of a deep and ancient woodland untouched by humans. She was moving toward a clearing, where the moon was bright. The closer she moved toward the moon, the more rainclouds blocked it out. </p>
- <p>At this point in his dream, the girlchild began to cry. </p>
- <p>And Pitch, in his dream, knew to catch up to her, to kneel next to her, and to embrace her. A human child. The exact sort of thing that he was meant to terrify and psychologically torment. </p>
- <p>Not this time. He would hold her, and it was like she was there and wasn’t all at once. Astral projection, like that foolish little Atlantean wizard Ombric Shalazar called it? Perhaps. Either way, Pitch whispered in the girlchild’s little ear, “Bud, you’ll find your way. It’s alright.” </p>
- <p>Who was Bud? How did he know she would be alright? What business was it of his? </p>
- <p>The dream always ended with a sea of golden hued butterflies and lunar moths ascending to the sky, surrounding the girl. Their light weakened Pitch, and so at that juncture, he had to back off and run away. But he felt somehow his purpose in the dream was met.</p>
- <p>He had this dream almost every night. </p>
- <p>Almost every morning he forgot it, and every following night, the dream was brand new to him.</p>
- <p>Only Sanderson Mansnoozie knew about this dream, and he kept it to himself. </p>
- <p>And somewhere, across the world, Mother Nature thought the whispers were just forgotten shadows of a man long gone. Someday she would know better. Someday she would find her way. </p>
- <p>[ This is a DIRECT response to <a href="http://dearest-cecily.tumblr.com/post/39914277392/a-whisper-in-the-wind-drabble">this</a> drabble ]</p>
- <p>*******</p>
- <p>"Innocence is gone, and what was right is wrong."</p>
- <p>Hello. </p>
- <p>I’m Pitch Black. Or at least they call me that now. </p>
- <p>I’m the sovereign of night terrors. The king of fear. The god of paranoia. The artist who dips his brush in shadows and paints a canvas covered in screams. </p>
- <p>Everyone is afraid of and repulsed by me. I unquestionably corner a good chunk of the market of human emotion, always have, and always will. I witness atrocities in the human narrative, and I laugh at them, and sometimes I even contribute to their severity by giving form to the fears with which the human race lures me. I will always be this person. Always. </p>
- <p><strong>And.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>I.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>Am.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>Alone.</strong></p>
- <p><em>Alone.</em><span> That is the word…in any language…in any civilization….that conjures the most dreadful phantasmagoric reveries, </span><strong>and they are all centered around <em>fear</em>. </strong></p>
- <p><em><strong>Fear…</strong></em></p>
- <p><strong>….of having no value.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>Fear of obsolescence. </strong></p>
- <p><strong>Fear of triviality. </strong></p>
- <p><strong>Of being replaceable. </strong></p>
- <p><strong>Of being forgotten.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>Of being lost.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>In darkness.</strong></p>
- <p><strong>Alone.</strong></p>
- <p>Do you see how ironic that is? How else could I be a genius at my work? <strong> I am precisely the thing that fear most readily devours.<em> I. Am. <strong>Alon</strong>e.</em></strong></p>
- <p>I have recently found my daughter. My center. My life, my <strong>all.</strong> That around which my world pivots. The sliver of silvery light left in my inky heart. My baby girl. My little Bud. But our reunion has only proven the depth and gravity of my mistakes, my status as a shade and servant to the creatures who would deceive me that I am their “master.” It has only proven, worse still, <em>how much of her life I have missed, and how out-of-place I now am in what remains of it. </em>She eclipses me vastly in power, ability, even, I am sure, intellect. She is a beautiful and potent, but <em>neutral, </em>force in this universe, neither benevolent nor malevolent.</p>
- <p>She <em>cannot</em> take sides. <strong>She <em>cannot</em> choose me</strong>. And I do not <em>deserve</em> her love, or what of it she may still have the grace to offer up. Love for a creature who is made of darkness and the fretful tears of innocent children. </p>
- <p>Don’t mistake this for self-pity…!</p>
- <p>It’s…only the facts. But Seraphina…she has found companionship in others. In, for instance, the most recent being that I let my guard down enough to….ask….plead…to be a friend. Framed by, admittedly, power-lust and ulterior motives, I offered to be his companion and to say my offer was spit upon would be an understatement. Because even if you are a spirit of mischief, hell and heaven and all the galaxies forbid you stoop to becoming the companion of fear. Careful, you might catch his leprosy. Leprosy, I say, metaphorically, but that…that was a perfect incident of man’s inhumanity to man, because of fear. Leave the leper to die, lest you catch his affliction. Ostracize him, call yourself separate and above him, and he will eventually disappear entirely. </p>
- <p>Cease to believe in him.</p>
- <p>I am a leper. That’s all. Even Jack Frost knows that. Don’t you, Jackie Boy? You’re a real hero, Frost. It’s no wonder you’re mentioned in a bloody Christmas carol. Gold star to you for “nipping at noses.” Little prick. </p>
- <p>I am told that somewhere in side of my wormhole-gnawed soul, there is a good man. Selfless. A war hero, a sterling and devoted father, who carried the weight of every known world in his heart because he wanted to keep his daughter safe and give her a golden utopia full of light and love and warmth and freedom and dreams. His name was Kozmotis Pitchiner. That’s what they tell me. </p>
- <p>I cannot remember being him. Not even remotely. There are only agonizing glimpses, when I am exposed to the locket with my treasure’s face in it. And when they come to me, these snippets of memory….all they do is underscore to me that I am not that man worthy of respect and adulation anymore. My own enemies know of him, and they use the knowledge to bring further into relief the monster that I have become. The host of parasitic, insatiable darkness.</p>
- <p>Fair enough. I am nothing if not wicked.</p>
- <p>But oh, stars. I would be one of you again, just once, instead of the darkness that you glisten in between. I am so exhausted of being the reason why you shine, rather than blazing like a jewel myself, a jewel for whom the poets and dreamers write reams and even sing lullabies. </p>
- <p><em>Just once.</em> </p>
- <p>Just once it would be nice to glance to my side and see someone else standing there. Regarding me as an equal and a friend. Accepting what I am and honoring what I once tried so hard to be. </p>
- <p>That little writer girl, Katherine…she came close. But that…was a long time ago. Mother Goose has had better things to attend to for some time now, than nursing the lost soul of the Nightmare King. </p>
- <p>There. There you have it, the Bogeyman’s deep dark dirty secret. He’s a<em>lonely forsaken child</em> at the core.</p>
- <p><em>Disappointed</em>?</p>
- <p>Well, peachy keen, mortal. That makes <em>two</em> of us. </p>
- <p>And if you <em>dare</em> mock me this truth, then <em>sleep lightly</em>. Because <em>I’m coming for you, to stop your insolence</em>.</p>
- <p>I’m coming to surge your veins with a good vile dose of horror and hysteria.</p>
- <p>What else have I to do?</p>
- <p><strong><em>I am alone. </em></strong></p>
- <p><strong><em>————</em></strong></p>
- <div class="post_title">"Magnificent."</div>
- <p>Oh, I can barely limp back to bed this morning. Last night was glorious. </p>
- <p>How I trolled the darkness and swelled it out and over the land. How it spread thick like oil over top of clean clear crystal water. How I chased every last beam and sliver of light and how I wrung its neck and how I gulped it down and how I gorged myself insatiably on one color: black, black, <em>black</em>!! </p>
- <p>Acrobat, dancer, prowler, thief. I spun round and dived into and bathed in shadows. And then when they crawled over my body like a sickness, like a skin devouring cancer, how I laughed. For I was ready. </p>
- <p>The best part is always when I am ready. It always comes when I spread it to the young ones. </p>
- <p>This one’s afraid she’ll fail her algebra test, lose her scholarship, and make everything her poor inner-city family sacrificed to get her to that private school moot. Very good, my munchkin, let’s have that failure in droves! Let’s dream you up at a desk in front of a huge wall clock, it’s ticking so loudly and your palms are clammy, and the teacher gives you the stink eye and you can’t read any of the writing on the paper, and your pencil just broke, and oh look, there’s water coming in all the windows, darling, water. Water flooding in all the windows. What do we do now what do we do? Oh my oh dear, what now—<em>oopsie,</em> you woke up. Well that was fun if brief. They’ll say I’m evil but I bet you’ll put in a few more hours of beneficial study before class, won’t you?<strong> But hey, Pitch is<em> evil,</em> everything’s simpler that way! The Bogeyman is EEEEVIL.</strong></p>
- <p>Permit me to wiggle my fingers spookily at this impasse. </p>
- <p>Next! Oo. A lad whose hamster just died. Poor Munchies, we knew you well. Okay, I can work with this canvas. Let me see. You’ve got three dogs and a cat too, right? Well let’s dream them dead too. You’re the one who finds them. Yes, whimper. Yes, scream. Good. Not too loudly or mum and daddy will come in prematurely. You can’t interrupt an artist working, dear boy. Look, their bodies are limp. Hard to turn them over. You cry out but nobody hears you. In fact you go inside your house to ask for help, a chance to resuscitate your beagle, pug, and golden retriever, and that’s where you find your tabby cat dead. Only she turns into a weird little wind-up tin toy cat with broken hinges. And then you realize a screwdriver might put her back together again, but the toolbox under the kitchen sink is empty. The front door is splintered in two. And nobody’s in the house, nobody. Or even on the street. Pick up the phone…odd, no dial tone. Are you all alone in the world? Is this all your fault? Oopsie, another waker. Yeah, sure, call mum and daddy now. Or wait, it’s just mum. Right, mum and daddy just got a divorce. You feel all alone, like he abandoned you at a scary time. And now you’re prompted to tearfully confess this to mum. And now mum is comforting you and you’re resolving it. Beneficial. But folks, join me in the refrain! <strong>Hey, Pitch is<em> evil,</em> everything’s simpler that way! The Bogeyman is EEEEVIL.</strong></p>
- <p>Just two houses among thousands that I visited last night.Darkness I spread <strong><em>and darkness I became. </em></strong></p>
- <p>Honestly, being so absorbed in my work, my play, it almost made me feel like I wasn’t outrunning something.<em> Almost.</em> That’s a start, you know what I mean? </p>
- <p>It keeps me abreast of that nagging word, that word, that, more than death, more than failure, more than loss, hails me to human bedsides: ALONE. INVISIBLE. I exist when they scream. So I’ll keep them screaming. </p>
- <p>What does any of it matter now? I <em>am</em> darkness, I ever shall be. It’s the hand I was dealt. It’s the door this fool opened. What’s done is done.<strong> Hate me,<em> hate </em>me.</strong> And ever, always, ALWAYS, <em>fail to <strong>see</strong></em> me. <strong><em>It’s what I’m for, and I will always be there. </em></strong></p>
- <p>Enjoy your day, mortals, enjoy it, doomed to fade back into the darkness come dusk. I’m just <em>so</em> patient. </p>
- <p>————</p>
- <p>Pitch remembers being Kozmotis on the battlefield ((WARNING: GORE)): <a href="http://guardianindarkness.tumblr.com/post/43611097917/you-know-theres-another-kind-of-memory-coming-back-to" title="Another kind of returned memory">Another kind of returned memory</a>. </p>
- <p></p>
- <p></p>
- </div>
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