Pile Service Announcement/Presspile Conference

We've had an unfortunate number of people having a hard time with the issue of getting talked over in the chat. Having talked to several of them about it and experienced it myself, I think it's important for this to be acknowledged. I'm not gonna name names because I don't think it's any one person's fault, and I don't want to dismiss that it may at times be an exaggerated perception on the parts of those who feel overlooked. So I'm just going to say this:

Try not to overlook something that someone's trying to bring up. I don't expect everyone to acknowledge everything, and I don't think anyone else is either, but it's pretty cool if you'd make an effort. I know there are people who already do this but as I'm not naming names on any side, save my own, I'm not. You know. Naming them. Especially because it certainly won't hurt to be more conscious of it.

Aside from overlooking something, try not to totally take over the chat with something. This is very hard because of the nature of internet chats and other things, and I don't expect this to improve all that substantially, but more often than not, if there are two strong conversations going on, one of them gets choked out and I know for a fact it's built resentment or frustration in the past. I'm not blaming anyone but it's something to be aware of.

Additionally, be aware that things that look like offhanded comments might be someone trying to open up a conversation. I won't tell anyone to have a conversation they don't want to, and I know it's hard to tell if someone's just mentioning something or really wants to dialogue about it at times, but this is something to keep in mind.

On the flip side, if you feel overlooked or pushed aside -- try very hard to understand that, yeah, even if these people should know better, they wouldn't mean to. It was not intentional, and I can say that with near complete certainty. Nobody's malicious enough in the Hornpile that they'd intentionally choke anyone else out of the conversation. You're just gonna have to trust that fact, if you do in fact trust that people in the chat are generally chill and will try to be good pals.

However, I know from my own experience that it's very easy to get resentful even knowing it isn't intentional, so the next best way to minimize resentment? PM me -- if it was me or anyone else who did it, things said in PMs do not leave PMs in my book, as a rule. Or vent to anyone else you trust. I can't guarantee I or they can do anything, but I'll certainly try, and getting it off your chest will certainly help.

You can bring it up in the chat if you so desire. Preferably don't approach it as an accusation, but if you choose to be open about feeling that way, that's fine, and we'll try to sort it out fairly.

Equally importantly: everyone on both sides, be aware of the timing of your conversation starting. This won't always prove a problem or a solution at all, but even just realizing that there's another conversation (the invested kind) going on might, I dunno, help someone know when there's a higher chance of it happening.

I really don't want anyone to feel paranoid about bringing things up in the chat, and I feel like this shouldn't have to be a thing I bring up via a monologue in Pastebin (you don't know how silly I feel right now), but the more I see it and see people get frustrated with it, the more I'm convinced it's stupider to just let it happen when it seems like it could be so easily resolved. Or at least partially resolved.

So, uh. Yeah. You can PM me to ask for more details but I can't guarantee I can disclose or will feel comfortable disclosing anything. Still, feel free to. I feel like a mod and I am sorry for that.


Your loving wicked stepmother dictator,
Nitro