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Horse The Horse Episode 8

May 30th, 2014
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  1. >You're in a bit of a pickle.
  2. >One false move and you're taking quite a plunge down to the floor.
  3. >It's a bit hard to think about what you want to do with Sunset cackling down at you.
  4. >"Hey, try punching her," Painbow grunts, sounding winded.
  5. "What good will that do me?" you whisper into your shoulder.
  6. >Sunset is shouting something about how she's the best around to the ground.
  7. >Nothing will ever bring her down.
  8. >Except maybe you.
  9. >"Just do it! Jump at her."
  10. >It's the best option.
  11. >You put on your best black man voice, and assure your grip on the rooftop.
  12. "Fuck it."
  13. >"Hmm?" she says condescendingly, slowly turning to look at you.
  14. "Ya can't stop me," you jump up, using your feet to spring off the side and at Sunset.
  15. >Colliding with her, the two of you go tumbling far from the edge; just as planned.
  16. >You strike her in the face to buy yourself a second and then you pounce for your sword, scooping it up with on clawed hand.
  17. >The blade feels light as a feather, slashing with this should be easy.
  18. >BUT you don't want to kill her; just maim or seriously injure.
  19. >"KILL! KILL!" Dash roars.
  20. >Someone didn't have their morning coffee.
  21. >You raise up your sword and charge at Sunset, hoping to cut some of her mane, that'll freak her out into submission.
  22. >Maybe...
  23.  
  24. >She flips to her hooves and knocks away the sword.
  25. >Shit.
  26. >With a swift kick you're sent back.
  27. >Her horn sizzles and out comes a stream of blazing fire.
  28. >Super hot fire!
  29. >You think back to your Chinese girl cartoons; what could this sword do against fire?
  30. >Yes, perfect.
  31. >Dancing around her, you make false swipes at her.
  32. >She evades all of them, up until the last.
  33. >You linger a bit longer than usual to bait her, leaning forward with your sword as it clacks against the stone.
  34. >Grinning like she always does Sunset's horn begins to close.
  35. >A second later a swathe of flame, coiled like a snake, comes snapping for you.
  36. >Praying it works you swing for the attack.
  37. >"PERFECT PARRY!" Bow yells.
  38. >The sword 'catches' the flame and sends it spiraling right back at Sunset.
  39. >She laughs, and with one head motion she causes the flames to dissipate.
  40. >"That was a good one, Anon. But not nearly good enough for me."
  41. >She runs a hoof through her mane.
  42. >With another flick of her head she sends out four small, red orbs, as they get closer they spread out.
  43. >They land a few feet from you, forming a line.
  44. >O-ok, looks safe to walk through the gaps between them.
  45. >But that's probably not true.
  46. "Ideas?"
  47. >It's nice to have a moments rest.
  48. >She hasn't hit you too much, but you're already beginning to feel the burn.
  49. >Defelcting that flame attack took quite a bit of force.
  50. >"Be careful of those fireballs! THEY COULD BE DANGEROUS."
  51. >Sunset paces on the other side, smiling a little.
  52. "Thanks for the info."
  53.  
  54. >Hmm, walking by those things would be no good, but what about jumping over them?
  55. >You turn on a heel, risking turning your back to her.
  56. >Running to one end of the roof, you turn again, and begin running straight at her.
  57. >She keeps still, waiting for you to arrive, laughing madly.
  58. >Right when you would collide with one of those fire balls you hop up, like a rabbit.
  59. >If rabbits looked really edgy and carried swords.
  60. >Mid-air, dropping toward Sunset, your eye catches on to something.
  61. >The orbs begin shaking and getting closer.
  62. >You bring your sword down on Sunset, but she dodges.
  63. >Not breaking stride you slash at her again and again, nearly giving her coat a trim.
  64. >You flip your sword on its side, and get a grand idea.
  65. >Sunset trips up, and misses a dodge, you punish by slapping her underside with the side of the sword.
  66. >She isn't cut, but she's sent about ten feet into the air.
  67. >Using your noddle based powers you launch forward, catching her in mid-air for a few good slaps of your blade.
  68. >"EXCELLENT," Painbow Rash exclaims, a surge of fury coursing through you.
  69. >You're about to slap her with your blade when an explosion pushes you forward, sending you and her to the rooftop.
  70. >Sunset cackles, a few feet away from you, as she rises to her hooves.
  71. >"The fire rises!"
  72. >Turning over you look up at whatever the hell exploded.
  73. >Oh, of course.
  74. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," Rainbow yells.
  75. >Why would it be anything else?
  76. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
  77. >Not a problem, not a problem at all.
  78. >Just a GIANT FUCK PHOENIX PECKING AT A ROOF.
  79. >It's about ten feet tall, fat and feathery.
  80. >Big black eyes, flaming wings, and feathers, long peak.
  81. >Yeah, it's a bird.
  82. >"CRAAAAW!"
  83. >Sunset laughs, and runs off behind the bird.
  84.  
  85. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMbyGRaPpRU
  86. [Theme of Giant FlameBird]
  87.  
  88. >The crowd is still in a tizzy.
  89. >You think you spot one stallion having a seizure.
  90. >Those flashing lights will do that to you.
  91. "Dash, you're like a bird, right?" you question here, keeping your eyes on the bird as you rise to your feet.
  92. >You back takes a lot of punishment, and right now it's hurting pretty bad.
  93. >"SORT OF."
  94. "So, what pisses birds off?"
  95. >"Pluck their feathers?"
  96. >Fuck it man.
  97. >You use your sword for support to get to your feet.
  98. >Looks like Sunset is whispering something to the bird.
  99. >She's climbed up to the top of its head and it looking rather high and mighty.
  100. >...And a little bruised.
  101. >The bird doesn't look too interested in you, peaking at its giant toes, clucking, looking about at everything but you.
  102. >Very twitchy little thing, less like a mighty phoenix and more like a giant chicken.
  103. >It throws its head back and croaks, and then brings it back down, two black eyes trained on you.
  104. >The big red peak parts to reveal the dark chasm of a mouth its got.
  105. >Rising up like a storm fires emanates from the beast.
  106. >Carefully you dance around the firestorm, getting singed.
  107. >"DO YOU LIKE MY PET, ANON?" Sunset cackles from atop the beast.
  108. "Sure do you crazy bitch!"
  109. >You run toward the bird and swing upward with your sword, slashing it.
  110. >Feathers rain down.
  111. >Oh damn, you cut it!
  112. >The big bird caws and flaps wildly.
  113. >"GOOD, ABSORB THAT BLOOD," Rainbow cries.
  114. "B-but I didn't mean to hurt it, just wanted to piss it off real bad by cutting its feathers!"
  115. >Wait...why is its blood so orange.
  116. >You dodge its flapping wings, ears ringing with the sound of its shrieks.
  117. >Sticking your fingers in the pool on the floor you taste a bit of this "blood".
  118. >"Anon you sick freak. You're learning!" Rainbow claims.
  119. "Bah."
  120. >HOT HOT!
  121. >"What's wrong? Don't like the taste of blood," Dash laughs.
  122. "No you idiot. It's fucking hot sauce."
  123.  
  124. >"GET UP ON THE PHOENIX'S BACK!" Rainbow yells as you look up at the flailing beasty.
  125. >Fuck it.
  126. >You jump up, planting the sword right in the thing's side.
  127. >Hot sauces squirts out.
  128. >It's giant head comes for you, ready to bite you or chrispen you up.
  129. >Sunset comes with the head, winking when she gets close.
  130. >The peak is open and the jig is up.
  131. "Anonymous hidden technique!" you spin on the blade, gaining momentum as flames rise, "JUMP KICK!"
  132. >You fling yourself right at Shimmer, boot aimed at her face.
  133. >Slam dunk!
  134. >Or, whatever.
  135. >Sunset goes soaring, landing hard on the roof, making a big impact.
  136. >Goddamn, don't mess, kid.
  137. >You make sure to grab on tight to the feathers of the big bird.
  138. >He's writhing and shaking and flapping.
  139. >Hot sauce is squirting out from holes you haven't even made.
  140. >IS HE BREAKING DOWN?
  141. >"Anon, this bird is cooked, get off!" Rainbow warns.
  142. >Well, she does have the most experience with avians.
  143. >You jump off the thing and get Sunset in your sights.
  144. >The sword is still in the bird, you realize as you descend.
  145. >Fists will have to do for now.
  146. >When you land your first jump punch Sunset hardly reacts.
  147.  
  148.  
  149. >You give it to Sunset, reforming her face.
  150. >Or at least trying.
  151. >That smug grin is really resilient.
  152. "So, do you give up?"
  153. >"Sure."
  154. >You let her go and she flops to the ground.
  155. >Worn out, you stagger back a few steps, feeling relieved.
  156. "So, tell me, did you bring me here? How can I get home? All that jazz..." you huff, falling to one knee, just wanting to rest your legs a bit.
  157. >Sunset laughs.
  158. >Oh fuck no.
  159. "Don't make me come over there."
  160. >"I don't know any of that, Anon," she says, giggling.
  161. >Sunset rises to your feet as you fall back on your ass.
  162. >The cloudy sky opens up, the moon revealed.
  163. >W-was it all a ruse?
  164. >Shimmer looks up at the sky.
  165. >You'd lash out, get mad, beat the shit out of that bitch.
  166. >But you can hardly move.
  167. >And she can hardly move.
  168. >Out of the sky descends a large silvery, gold craft begins falling out of the sky.
  169. >"There!" Sunset yells, pointing up at it.
  170. >"Someone who can answer your questions..."
  171. >The thing begins descending faster and faster.
  172. >The crowd shrieks and screams as it gets closer and closer.
  173.  
  174. >The hunk of metal crashes right into the roof.
  175. >Giant cracks open up, chunks of stone go flying.
  176. >The ground shakes under you, about to break apart.
  177. >You flail a bit, trying to get steady.
  178. >All the while Sunset is laughing like a big dumb idiot.
  179. >"ANON, A CHALLENGER APPEARS," Rainbow informs you.
  180. >An evil cackle rings out, a crack of thunder following it.
  181.  
  182. IN THE NEXT EPISODE:
  183. Will this mystery fighter completely annihilate Anonymous?
  184. Will Sunset ever stop lying?
  185. Will the readers ever forgive me?
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