energon logs part 1

Bianca Yesterday at 5:18 PM
i am now going to attempt to watch transformers energon
specifically the japanese version because i want to not die
https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Go_for_Unicron!

Bianca Yesterday at 5:29 PM
god im gonna have to get used to like
every character having fucked up names
i can deal with scorponok being called megazarak, that's an easy one
but tidal wave being called shockwave is gonna fuck me up every time

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 5:30 PM
W-Why is he Shockwave

Bianca Yesterday at 5:31 PM
i dont know
demolishor being called ironhide is equally fucked up
especially when he has a relationship with a character who is named ironhide in the dub

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 5:33 PM
WHY DO THEY KEEP USING PRE EXISTING TRANSFORMER NAMES

Bianca Yesterday at 5:33 PM
so when ironhide dies im going to see ironhide crying out for his fallen comrade, ironhide
hhh optimus' walk cycle

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 5:33 PM
Press F for Ironhide

Bianca Yesterday at 5:35 PM
OH GOD HOW IS THE TRANSFORMATION ANIMATION EVEN WORSE

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 5:35 PM
How bad we talking

Bianca Yesterday at 5:36 PM
like
5 frames
5 very, very choppy frames
is ironhide/roadbuster's catchphrase "i'm awesome"
because i can very distintcly say that he is, in fact, the opposite of awesome
it doesnt help that energon optimus is
a very bad design

Bianca Yesterday at 5:42 PM
https://tformers.net/i/a/energon/energon_prime2_01.jpg
arise, chunkimus prime
so like, energon is already animating the robots in outdated blocky cgi
so imagine how much worse it looks on this fucking brick

Gentle Slavic [27 Sets Read] Yesterday at 5:44 PM
its the same as that superman someone posted the other day

dilliam Yesterday at 5:44 PM
blocktimus prime

Gentle Slavic [27 Sets Read] Yesterday at 5:44 PM
minecraft prime

dilliam Yesterday at 5:46 PM
optimus prime plays minecraft and has a heated gamer moment

Bianca Yesterday at 5:46 PM
https://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/2/23/Energon_Prime_toy.jpg the reason why he's so fat is because they proportioned his body for his combining gimmick instead of to how he looks normally
also as you might be able to tell, his transformation is shit
like impressively so
i had this toy so i can't lie about it
it is literally just fold the feet up, move the legs up, flip the panel on the back down over the legs, retract the hands, shift the arms to the wedges on the back panel, and fold down the head
there isn't even anything to cover the head, which fuckin
g1 optimus had

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 5:50 PM
I see their Optimus is going for the Boom Knuckles audience

ForwardArrow Yesterday at 5:50 PM
chunkimus prime is beautiful

Bianca Yesterday at 5:50 PM
energon's toyline kinda sucked

Professor Hawke Yesterday at 5:51 PM
Reblog if you think the girl on the left etc etc

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 5:51 PM
"there isn't even anything to cover the head, which fuckin"

Okay but why tho

Bianca Yesterday at 5:51 PM
i dont know
you can see the back of the head in the image
https://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/b/b6/Energontoy_prime_combinations.jpg they really wanted to make prime into a super robot in energon and it really didn't work out
i kinda want to watch the english dub at the same time to meme on it too but
i am not masochistic enough for that
im upset i have no easy way of making gifs because these animations are hilarious
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678375464430993458/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-18h01m22s814.png
https://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/9/9c/TF-Super-Link-SC-04-Roadbuster.jpg holy fuck are these stock photos trying REALLY HARD to prevent you from seeing that roadbuster's head doesn't fucking hide itself in alt mode
this is THE lowest effort end credits ive seen in an anime
i doubt it!!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678377319534166037/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-18h09m03s715.png
the energon toyline had like
10 different gimmicks happening at once

plague (Sets Read: 54) Yesterday at 6:16 PM
“sounds like a mym set”

Muno Yesterday at 6:17 PM
pff

Bianca Yesterday at 6:22 PM
the smallest size class had energon chips that could clip to figures and do nothing, but also came with modular translucent weapons, autobots of the deluxe and voyager class figures could combine with each other by either forming the upper or lower half of a bigger robot, deluxe/voyager decepticons had hidden weapons, autobots of the second biggest size class came with large accessories that they could combine with into super modes, there were combiners, and optimus had a combination gimmick spread across multiple toys
oh yeah and a bunch of earlier toys in the line were repaints of armada toys, which had the minicon gimmicks

Bianca Yesterday at 6:27 PM
generally when you make a toyline you want the gimmicks to be like, cohesive
and having too many can result in it not doing well
the smoke effects are
awful

Bianca Yesterday at 6:44 PM
these feel very exploitable
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678386256262070292/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-18h44m25s682.png

Shirogane Lex 🐐 Yesterday at 6:47 PM
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678386934564782092/image0.png

Bianca Yesterday at 6:49 PM
having a character say "the next episode will be good!" at the end of every episode of your very bad tv show feels like a power move
the first two episodes weren't bad but they also feel very empty

Ivanquote | Read: 13.8/83.1 Yesterday at 6:53 PM
MYM 23: It’ll probably be great again!

Bianca Yesterday at 6:54 PM
of course the standout bad part of the show is the animation
which i wish i could properly show you guys
its stunning

Bianca Yesterday at 7:57 PM
i feel like i should note that in addition to there being a character in superlink named shockwave, there is an actual version of shockwave that shows up later
i think he's just named laserwave
but its still fucked
but he's also technically not a version of shockwave in the english version, because he's named shockblast for trademark reasons
then in the japanese version the guy named shockwave stops being named shockwave after a while
he becomes shockfleet
and of course because the dub of armada is awful sometimes tidal wave is still called shockwave

Professor Hawke Yesterday at 8:02 PM
lol

Bianca Yesterday at 8:04 PM
basically im glad they stopped doing this for transformers series, now characters tend to share names between the english and japanese versions
(also shockfleet is an awful name)
mirage isn't a much better name for the character either though
literally everyone's thoughts on the main human character in energon
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678407785461055498/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-20h09m56s053.png
GOD ITS GENUINELY IMPOSSIBLE TO FULLY ARTICULATE HOW AWFUL THIS ANIMATION IS
my favorite thing so far is when fodder characters get shot and just kinda. vanish
sometimes they explode using that shatter visual effect on every video editor from the early 2000s
but most of the time they just vanish in one frame, usually without explosion effects covering it
ACTUALLY IM WRONG
I WENT FRAME BY FRAME AND SOMEHOW
THEY FUCKED UP A MOOK DYING
so like when the bird robot gets shot, there's a brief explosion and then it falls down off the screen, which is like, a normal way to show a flying enemy dying
but it happens so fast that its impossible to see, giving the effect of the bird robot just disappearing when shot
there are still dudes who just disappear though
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678410171470577697/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-20h19m11s867.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678410184481177630/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-20h19m19s456.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678410189388644376/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-20h19m25s710.png

Professor Hawke Yesterday at 8:20 PM
PFFT

Bianca Yesterday at 8:20 PM
because they're using models and not 2d animation, the way they show generics dying is just by deleting the model and putting an explosion effect over them
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SCENE
so let me set the stage here because that was just nonsense
the terrorcons, who are mindless drones that invade earth to steal energon, are attacking the very creatively named desert city
there are also guys on the autobots side called the omnicons who can create energon power ups
so while the guys above are fighting it cuts down to some humans in a lab, and im going to quote the actual subs
Generic Scientist Man: Don't worry. They're after the Energon. The only thing here is data.
Generic Girl Who Is Apparently A Main Character: No, they're making an Energon Star below for the battle!
Generic Scientist Man: Nani?
looks down through the window directly behind him, where the omnicons are using a very loud machine to make an energon star

Professor Hawke Yesterday at 8:27 PM
PFFT

Bianca Yesterday at 8:27 PM
and then the omnicons proceed to bring in more energon so they can refine it

Professor Hawke Yesterday at 8:27 PM
Perception Modifier: -3

Bianca Yesterday at 8:27 PM
the fuck was that about there only being data???
this could be the subs being bad or this is just fucking nonsense
like i get that they need to make the energon stars so they can power everyone up so they can defeat the terrorcons, but can't they like, do that away from all the squishy humans they're trying to protects?
like im assuming the humans are in that area because there was no energon and as such they would be safe

Professor Hawke Yesterday at 8:33 PM
yeah, seriously

Bianca Yesterday at 8:33 PM
so the omnicons bringing in energon to refine it is like, trying to protect your cat from dogs by covering it in meat

Bianca Yesterday at 8:40 PM
https://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/a/ae/E3_titlecard.jpg
guess whats wrong in this image

Professor Hawke Yesterday at 8:41 PM
No Scorpinok in this episode?

Shirogane Lex 🐐 Yesterday at 8:42 PM
Scorponok is the actual spelling isn't it?

Bianca Yesterday at 8:42 PM
there is no scorpinok in the episode, but there is a scorponok

Professor Hawke Yesterday at 8:42 PM
ahh
pfft, nice job

Bianca Yesterday at 8:42 PM
https://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/f/fc/Improsonedinferno.jpg
so this episode introduces the modular energon weapons to the show and it does a fuckin awful job at selling them
roadbuster hits one terrorcon with his energon axe and it just fucking vanishes
optimus' energon spear lasts two hits from shockwave
he never even uses it to attack

plague (Sets Read: 54) Yesterday at 8:45 PM
IMPROSONED

Bianca Yesterday at 8:46 PM
OH SHOCKINGLY BRINGING ENERGON DOWN THERE BROUGHT THE TERRORCONS
i just want to note that inexplicably scorponok does not turn into a giant robot scorpion
he turns into a bizarre construction vehicle shaped like a scorpion
https://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/f/f5/Energon_Scorponok_toy.jpg this design is nearly impossible to keep track of, especially with energon's animation quality
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678418917571559448/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-20h54m20s055.png
so far the actual big issue with this show is that its really bad at actually setting up the threat of the terrorcons
like, for the first two episodes they're just generic swarms of monsters, it takes three episodes for any actual villains to show up, and even then its just scorponok and shockwave

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 8:56 PM
It's never a good thing when something called "Terrorcons" fail to inspire terror.

Bianca Yesterday at 8:57 PM
the terrorcons are interchangeably shown as weak mooks that can be taken down by one gun shot, or unstoppable monsters that no one can defend against
so the only way to really see it is
the autobots are really incompetent at fighting

plague (Sets Read: 54) Yesterday at 8:58 PM
finally we can prove megatron

Bianca Yesterday at 8:58 PM
oh yeah the actual like
super linking
that the show is named after
has shown up once
in a very unimpressive manner
it turns out energon is inherently the better name
alpha q hasn't even been properly introduced and he's the fuckin in character narrator at the end of each episode
i feel like i should note that energon might genuinely be one of the worst english dubs of an anime ever produced
super link is just kind of a bad anime
energon is near incomprehensible
so naturally what im saying is that everyone here should watch it

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:04 PM
"alpha q hasn't even been properly introduced and he's the fuckin in character narrator at the end of each episode"

WHAT.

Bianca Yesterday at 9:05 PM
alpha q has shown up
but only one character knows he exists, and his name hasn't been said at all
if you don't know about the original quintessons, then he's incredibly out of place and makes very little sense
imagine being duped by the guy who can only say his name
this is how this scene went:
shockwave shows up
generics: didn't you betray us like literally the other day
shockwave: what, no i didn't. btw is there any energon here
generics: uh yea
shockwave: starts shooting at them
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678422996267827211/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-21h10m39s323.png

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:11 PM
But is it a....booby trap?

Bianca Yesterday at 9:12 PM
its NOT EVEN A TRAP
THE TERRORCONS SHOW UP IMMEDIATELY
WHY DID SHOCKWAVE PRETEND HE DIDNT TURN ON THEM

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:13 PM
M-Mindgames?

plague (Sets Read: 54) Yesterday at 9:13 PM
:mindgames:

Bianca Yesterday at 9:14 PM
optimus at least realizes that going to mars will leave earth open to attack

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:14 PM
Optimus' 1 brain cell is at least functioning

Bianca Yesterday at 9:15 PM
they are
trying very hard to make the loss of the mars base sad
but we only see generics there

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:15 PM
"look at all these mooks that are dying!"

Bianca Yesterday at 9:15 PM
so its very hard to find it upsetting when characters who don't exist are dying
they say shit like ironhide's friends and optimus' students being there or something
but again we never see that

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:16 PM
boy if only they actually SHOWED us his friends or students

Bianca Yesterday at 9:16 PM
just generics
too much money

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:16 PM
(which also I feel like seeing Optimus Prime's students could be Cool?)

BiancaYesterday at 9:16 PM
we only have enough money for four generic models
demolishor is my favorite character so far because every scene he's in has him very confused
demolishor and cyclonus are fighting as they talk to each other, and its supposed to be like, a fun way to deliver exposition but
again, the animation
the scripts keep calling for things the models cannot possibly do without looking awkward

Bianca Yesterday at 9:27 PM
i dont know whats worse, the cgi models interacting with the stock vfx, or the cgi models interacting with the 2d animation
so alpha q made a sword out of megatron's soul, which is a rad as hell concept, and then gave it to scorponok
and like, for some reason, without ever explaining it, everyone just kinda figures out that its megatron's soul turned into a sword?????
the dub both makes this more nonsensical, AND more coherent at the same time????
they mangled it as having it be a sword that belongs to megatron (a sword he has never used), so in that context i GUESS everyone would recognize the sword as megatron's???
so its actively worse in the japanese version even though it makes more sense there
:wtf:

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:35 PM
:mindgames:

Bianca Yesterday at 9:37 PM
a very comprehensible frame, hold on it for a few seconds
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678429817611485213/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-21h37m28s159.png
oh yeah i want to note that in episode one the mars base already got blown to hell
and then it just exists again in episode four
and nobody brings this up in either version
also in episode 2 cyclonus was attacked by the terrorcons while on the moon, and its implied that he was kidnapped and taken to alpha q like tidal/shockwave was, but then he just kinda shows up again in episode four
i am 4 episodes in and the plot is falling apart already

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:41 PM
Can a plot fall apart when it was never together to begin with?

Bianca Yesterday at 9:42 PM
i mean technically the plot is together for the first episode
in the same way a house of cards is together
i feel like this is one of the best examples so far of how this animation style. doesn't work
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678431089429053460/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-21h41m46s561.png

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:43 PM
jesus fucking christ
it looks like a goddamn 2005 youtube video
with the bg as the windows bg, some shitty toys edited in and...the great wall of china...?

Ivanquote | Read: 13.8/83.1 Yesterday at 9:44 PM
On that day humanity received a grim reminder of how not to do CG

Bianca Yesterday at 9:44 PM
its a castle
the background is fine
the 2d animation in general is fine

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:44 PM
and then just the shittiest CGI you ever seen in front of it

Bianca Yesterday at 9:45 PM
it looks like
kidpix

Ivanquote | Read: 13.8/83.1 Yesterday at 9:45 PM
That reminds me of this one part in Kenshin where the background was a live recording of a beach with the 2d characters walking across it.  It was jarring AF

BiancaYesterday at 9:45 PM
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678431784849113088/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-21h43m54s766.png
i am screencapping every one of these because they are very funny

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:46 PM
"Something cool might happen again!" optimistic

Bianca Yesterday at 9:51 PM
also at the start of the episode there's a very minor sub-plot set up of roadburner not being able to superlink, then he does with jet/skyfire near the end and its supposed to be like an anime power up moment where he goes to fight scorponok
and then he loses the fight and scorponok gets away
this is the second time superlinking has actually shown up
yall are gonna have to put up with me talking about this for probably the next few days
because this is fucking fascinating to watch

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:52 PM
I mean this is fucking hilarious.
The part with Shockwave's names made me laugh pretty hard

Bianca Yesterday at 9:54 PM
if i find any character worth making a set for i will do it
or more specifically a meme character

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:56 PM
Make a "Shockwave Remix", except it actually keeps calling Shockwave different names and takes elements from all of the show's "Shockwaves".

Bianca Yesterday at 9:56 PM
i feel that would be impossible

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:57 PM
when has impossibility ever stopped this show from trying

Bianca Yesterday at 9:58 PM
its three very different designs

Ivanquote | Read: 13.8/83.1 Yesterday at 9:58 PM
Pokémon Trainer Shockwave it is :hippo:

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 9:58 PM
Just say it somehow transforms between them, don't worry about it just like the show didn't worry about the transforming

Bianca Yesterday at 9:59 PM
tidal wave is actually like a good character anyway
if i did any set, not having watched most of this show, it would probably end up being an attempt at a competent set for scorponok, OR a purposely tacky set for alpha q
5 episodes for anyone to say alpha q's name
why is alpha q hiding himself from everyone when we have already seen him in like every episode previously
there was seriously just a 20 second long bit of stock footage so optimus could pose in his super mode for a few seconds
very worthwhile screentime

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Yesterday at 10:07 PM
:clap:

Bianca Yesterday at 10:19 PM
so like, demolishor's arc in this show is that he isnt sure if he wants to stay with the autobots or rejoin the decepticons, which is a good arc for a character to have over the course of a show
guess how long this lasts
seriously, guess how many episodes this arc, considered one of the only good points of the series, goes on for

Shirogane Lex 🐐 Yesterday at 10:22 PM
Half of one episode

Bianca Yesterday at 10:23 PM
it lasts 16 episodes
then demolishor dies and gets resurrected as the second member of the comedy goon squad and proceeds to do nothing for the rest of the show

Bianca Yesterday at 10:29 PM
demolishor, cyclonus, and tidal wave all get turned into basically new characters at a certain point in energon, and its generally assumed they weren't meant to be the same characters during the initial design phase
despite energon being an america/japan co-production, communication seemed completely fucked
finally
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/244890052822433792/678443743061475328/vlcsnap-2020-02-15-22h32m57s805.png

BiancaToday at 1:49 AM
so it turns out that alpha q's brilliant plan of having the same two hordes of mindless drones attack the same few areas repeatedly has backfired and the autobots have put up defenses that work very well against generic mooks
FrozenRoy, Master of PuppetsToday at 1:50 AM
wow
whoda thunk
BiancaToday at 1:56 AM
https://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/0/00/Energon_E06_pencilerror.jpg very upset the japanese version doesnt have this classic animation error

Bianca Today at 2:04 AM
so like alpha q's plan involves collecting energon so that he can revive unicron
and for some reason he has kept megatron's corpse inside unicron, presumably to use it as a bargaining chip to keep tidal wave and cyclonus on his side, under the false pretense of the energon being used to revive megs
but megatron has actually been syphoning the collected energon into his own body, somehow
and alpha q's brilliant plan to counter this is to have scorponok stab him, while tidal wave and cyclonus are right there
megatron comes back to life, so any possibilities are moot, but if this had succeeded then this would have done absolutely nothing for alpha q, and arguably put him in a worse position since, even though tidal wave and cyclonus suck at everything, having three generals is better than having one

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Today at 2:09 AM
Alpha Q, deciding what to do with Megatron:
it picked the wrong GIF why
https://imgur.com/GUd5AfG
this one

Bianca Today at 2:09 AM
also for some reason he thought that stabbing megatron with a sword made of his own soul was a good idea that wouldn't backfire

plague (Sets Read: 54) Today at 2:09 AM
yeah this is big brain time

Bianca Today at 2:10 AM
and of course megatron's revival is done in 2d animation and not the 3d models
the first thing megatron does when he gets revived is beat scorponok to an inch of his life and then forcefully make him into a decepticon
so basically megatron is the best part so far
i do appreciate the fact the show lets you know that scorponok isn't loyal to megatron despite the fact that he's going to be working with him from now on

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Today at 2:22 AM
important

Bianca Today at 2:24 AM
megatron uses scorponok as a shield and then tosses him into a fuckin lake
megatron rules

FrozenRoy, Master of Puppets Today at 2:24 AM
that's the general rule of transformers

Bianca Today at 2:26 AM
yeah but i wasn't expecting energon megatron to be this good