Jump 368: Kill la Kill

Jump #368: Kill la Kill
>Two of Pentacles (Change): Balance and harmony achieved in a time of upheaval and transformation.
>Club: Fine Arts
>Identity: Nudist (-100)
>Drawbacks: (+400) Cute
OH GOD NO.
>Makolingual (1200)
I'm pretty sure, considering the drawback, that this is absolutely mandatory.
>Acupuncturist (Free, Nudist)
Considering I can flick needles at supersonic speed, this seems a natural choi- oh, I need to get the drop on someone? Okay.
>Trapper (1100, Nudist)
Guess I'd better get good at getting the drop on someone, no?
>Radiant Presence (900)
I shall be a glorious golden god with a glorious beach bod.
>Gifted (700)
Fine Arts includes knitting, doesn't it? It just happens to include other things that I can lump into being good at.
>Combat Acupuncture (400)
Can't expect to get the drop on everyone all the time.
>Power Scanner (300)
Insert obligatory 'over nine thousaaand' here.
>Classmates (0)
Well, no reason to bring a few friends along, right?

Getting stuck as Nui's sidekick of sorts was not an experience I relish.

Getting stuck with Nui calling me big brother (or big sister, depending) was even less an experience I relish.

The natural implications of that sort of amusement are as predictable as they are terrifying.

So! All of that aside, I basically spent the jump playing Nui's minder from the start of the series. This included dropping in to basically save her from herself on several occasions, which is probably not a surprise to anyone. When the comedy ran thin with her, an acupuncture needle sailing in from offscreen holds anyone else present long enough for me to trudge in, sling her over my shoulder with a groan, and trudge off as she cheerfully says goodbye to everyone and suggests we get coconut ramen or rice pudding.

Really, I didn't derail very much at all - when I would trudge in and out, as it seems I'd do the equivalent of every other episode, I would comment how absolutely stupid everything was. Often accompanied by a lampshading of the whole 'radiant presence of the newcomer' thing, which would of course immediately fade with a long-suffering sigh on my part.

I was the relief from the comedy, it would seem, that nobody took entirely too seriously. Especially considering, you know, the constant high-velocity acupuncture sniping.

In the end, when Nui was ordered to kill herself, I felt it was my duty to prevent this. So a handful of needles flew out to paralyze all of the girls, and with sigh, I trudged onto the screen with a wheelbarrow, and began to create a Nui pile within.

This worked to the amusement and perplexion of Ryuoko, who promptly asked, "Wait, whose side are you on? I was expecting you'd have poked us all by now."

I shrugged, looked meaningfully at Ragyo and commented, "Well, not hers, so obviously this means I'm on yours. Idiot." Then I patted the pile of Nui and muttered, "Let's forget the whole thing and go home, little sisters, this has gotten entirely too silly."

When Ragyo objected, and rather strenuously I might all, she rapidly ended up looking suspiciously like a certain someone out of Hellraiser, though it really had no notable impact on the plot other than giving me the time to trudge back off-screen.

Which of course meant more dealing with Nui.

In plural.

For nine years.

whyyyyyyyyy.