Colossus By Design: The Space of Doom

[Working Title]: Economics in the 22nd Century
[Authors]: Barney "The Dark Knight" Wayne, Ned Landerz
[Subjects]: Extended Colonization; Union Aerospace Corporation; Samuel Hayden

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[Subject]: Extended Colonization
[Footnotes]:


(Barney): I can't believe we're doing this.

(Ned): Barney, you know that we have to cover this for the purposes of--

(Barney): I STILL FUCKING HATE IT!

(Ned): I think I'll just edit that out of the final product. Come on, B-Man....... We gotta do this thing. I know you hate the G.U.D.'s recent implementations on the subject matter, but it's important that we do this.

(Barney): Fine, fine. I'll give it a shot.

(Ned): Good. I'll start us off. This really isn't anything new, but Humanity has been aiming to move past the stars for as long as we've existed. It was logical that we'd begin trying to make a more permanent mark on the rest of the universe.

(Barney): And we've done a pretty bang up job at it, too. We've had a year-round moon base for several decades, and recently established a somewhat permanent presence on the Red Planet itself.

(Ned): It helps that we perfected artificial recreation of Earth's atmospheric conditions, as well as sustainable food and energy production.

(Barney): Terraforming is a whole other matter, though. That stuff is crazy to even think about. I mean, fundamentally and permanently changing the very conditions of a given area to be habitable to Humans? Wild!

(Ned): Too bad we're still taking baby steps in that department. For now, we stick to enclosed and inclusive artificial complexes. But one party might be changing tha--

(Barney): GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!

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[Subject]: Union Aerospace Corporation
[Footnotes]:


(Ned): Barney, calm down! You knew this was coming!

(Barney): AND I'M STILL EQUALLY AS PISSED!

(Ned): You're only pissed because the G.U.D. formed their own division to explore space, only using our services for funding and resources instead of actually contracting us.

(Barney): Which is a load of bullshit.

(Ned): BARNEY.

(Barney): Alright, I'll chill out a bit. I will give the G.U.D. credit where credit's due. They played it smart by creating another division with which to outsource extended exploration and possible colonization beyond Earth and Luna.

(Ned): We could've monopolized on that, so they decided to pull an old 21st century trick straight from our predecessors' books.

(Barney): I'm really just unhappy about the G.U.D. not letting our companies do the work personally. The work that's actually coming out of the U.A.C. is quite good, from what I recall.

(Ned): Indeed. Before the U.A.C. was even an official thing, the branch's founders kicked off the permanent colonization of areas of Luna, and made it WORK. And now here we are, the U.A.C now paving the way for our next big venture on Mars. Dare I say, their penchant for not cutting corners is quite admirable, always pushing the limits for how far and how effectively Humanity can push into the stars.

(Barney): Can't disagree there, unfortunately. Of course, how could we forget all those rumours of the upper management partaking in downright Satanic rituals and other creepy occult stuff?

(Ned): Barney.......

(Barney): Now hear me out, Ned. The U.A.C has made so many big advances in the fields of exploration and eventual colonization of extraterrestrial bodies, but their founder and current Beta Facility head, Samuel Hayden, continues to push for the division's foray into research on Ki, or, as he likes to call it for some reason, "Argent Energy".

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[Subject]: Samuel Hayden
[Footnotes]:


(Ned): Barney, we're getting off-topic here.

(Barney): Then we'll just switch to covering the big man himself.

(Ned): *Sigh* Fine. Go ahead.

(Barney): Thank you. Samuel Hayden not only insists on calling Ki "Argent Energy", but he also believes the origin dimension to be the "other world" that inspired "Hell" in Humanity's cultural history. Freaking creepy as hell, getting all sophisticated and religious, all of a sudden.

(Ned): Just because he was raised as a devout Christian as a child 100 years ago doesn't mean he's weird.

(Barney): OH YES IT DOES! The man was born with the same terminal disease as Stephen Fucking Hawking, and yet he somehow hasn't died yet, always sending reports from that Beta Facility on Mars on time, but without a single good look at the man right now!

(Ned): So? He probably just got mechanical augments to make up for his natural paralysis, and is likely a bit introverted when it comes to sharing personal details like his appearance. Plus, people already routinely live past 100 nowadays.

(Barney): I'm not finished! So, this hotshot shows up at the G.U.D.'s doorstep a few years back, decides that he wants to kickstart the U.A.C, and then the G.U.D. just lets him! Then he starts questioning the directive they gave him to simply pave the way for greater space exploration in lieu of pursuing metaphysics whilst simultaneously trying to change our current labels for it!

(Ned): That's it, I'm cutting this off RIGHT NOW.

(Barney): No, Ned, don't you dare--


[RECORDING SESSION ENDED.]