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- >12:00 AM
- >the Night Court was in full swing, and Princess Luna was handling things while Celestia slept
- >tonight's purpose was to allow inventors, explorers, and scientists to present their discoveries to Equestria
- >in walked a brown pegasus with a gray-striped mane
- >this pegasus, is of course, myself, Daring Do
- >I bowed before the Princess, as is customary
- >a few stallions walked in behind me, carrying a large box with my fantastical discovery inside of it
- >the princess of the night was not unfamiliar with my work; I'd presented discoveries of artifacts to her before
- >but this one was different
- >she perked up when she noticed who I was, or maybe she perked up when she noticed the size of the box
- >either way, I knew what she was expecting
- >"Ah! Daring Do! Another fascinating discovery, I'm sure! And an intriguing tale to go with it, I hope."
- >yep she wanted the story
- >there was even the faintest hint of a smile on the normally somber princess's face
- >I grinned
- "Do you wanna hear the story or see the artifact first?"
- >"Please, do give us the story. The night is long and dull with few ponies to come before us."
- ________________________________
- >so there I was, in the jungles of deep southern Equestria, on the River Sepik
- >our little steamboat had leaky pipes, so we could only move at half speed, and something was watching us
- >we could see the white eyes peering out from the brush, hear their hushed chatter, glimpse the glinting sunlight off their spears
- >our only defense was the boat's whistle, which the captain assured us would frighten off any hostile natives
- >he was wrong
- >one day, the fog was thick, and the spears came out of as if from thin air
- >then they boarded
- >strange, lizardlike creatures, some with horns, some with wings, some with neither
- >like ponies
- >they tied us up and carried us back to their camp, and prepared boiling cauldrons to cook us in
- >while they waited for the water to boil, they indulged in an orgy of sex and violence right there in front of us
- >it was only when I heard them speak that I realized they could be reasoned with
- >for an unknown species, their language is remarkably similar to Equestrian
- >apparently they'd thought we were demons
- >once we explained that we were mere travelers, the creatures seemed almost disappointed, like they'd been looking forward to eating our flesh
- >but instead they settled they offered us sexual favors in a form of repentance
- >naturally, most of the ponies refused, but I volunteered to be rutted when the creatures seemed to be getting offended
- >unpleasant experience, to say the least
- >but to show me their gratitude, they offered me a special artifact
- >they said it was the body of a tyrannical chieftess who had ruled the tribe in ancient times
- >I never really got a good look at it before we boxed it up, so are you ready to see this bad boy?
- ________________________________
- >the princess of the night actually grinned and nodded
- >so I turned around to my boys to crack open that box
- >I watched Princess Luna's face go from shock to horror
- >then she set herself on fire with a spell
- >I admit that my methods of smothering that fire were a little less than gentle, and Luna was knocked out in the process
- >looking clearly for the first time at the body, I understood why the princess had done what she did
- >it was another lizard creature, but its scales were black
- >it had a horn and wings
- >a blue helmet
- >blue horseshoes
- >a blue chestplate with a crescent moon
- >and those eyes that had been preserved by the strange methods of the jungle
- >those teal, reptilian eyes
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