Thread 15: Stories 16-30

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>Shiny
“AJ2”
‘???’
_______

“Shiny, Shiny!”

>Yes, keeper of my sanity?

“Kee-huh…?”

>SNUGGLES!

“EEEEE!”

>Ah, much better. Now, what did you need?

“Come over here, this way, this way, I met this really nice lady who gives kisses!"

>...Huh? Gives k- Two, hold up a second, what do you mean she gives-

The answer to his unfinished question came quickly as Two dragged the prince to a medium-sized crate with a mare standing behind it, one who fixed him with a seductive smirk.

On the front of the box was a single flier that read: 1 Kiss for 1 Bit.

>...

Robbed temporarily of speech and left to stand there with his left eye twitching, Shining could only watch as Two raced up to the mare who happily kissed the Changeling on the cheek.

'My, my, look who's come calling to my humble establishment. Would the Crystal Prince perhaps care for a kiss as well? Only one bit after all.'

>...

"Shiny, you should get one! They're so warm and full'a love! Hey, we should bring Caddy here next time so she can get a few kisses too!"

Sweatcream Scoops merely shrugged, kissing the Changeling again.

'The more the merrier.'

>...

"Hey, Miss? How come it says one bit for a kiss? Why not for free? I give my hugs for free!"

'Because the kisses are merely foreplay, you adorable little thing.'

"Foreplay tuh what? And what's foreplay?"

'Well, you see, I offer a wide array of ser-'

>OH GOODNESS JUST LOOK AT THE TIME LET'S GO TWO!

"Awwww! But- but-"

Magically hefting the pouting Two onto his back, Shining geared up for the fastest run of his life when he heard Scoops whistle all too wantonly.

'Ah ah ah, my prince. You forgot to pay for all the loving kisses I gave to your sweet daughter....'

>H-how much?

'*giggle* Let's just say I can take monthly installments.'

NON CANON
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>SA
"2"
'Cadence'
~~~

>Come on, you can get this...

"It's..."

>Come oooonnnn....

"...Three?"

>No, sweetie. Four minus Two is Two.

"Math is hard."

>I know, baby, but you have to learn this stuff. It's important.

'Honey, we might need to think about...'

>Don't say it.

'Shiny...'

>I can teach her.

'And run a country?'

>It's doable-

'And train?'

>Within the realm of reason-

'And still spend time with Celestia and Chrysalis?'

>They mostly bug me-

'And still have time to play with her?'

>...

'...oh, come on, don't-'

>*wibble*

'Shinnnyyyy...'

>I dun wanna see her go.

"Shiny?"

Large, inquisitive eyes looked up at him. Questioning. Waiting for an answer.

"Do I haveta go to school, so I can get smart like you?"

Aaaaaannnnd, there goes his heart.

>Y-y-y-y-yeeeeeee....

'Yes, Two, we think you'll learn better with others your age. You get to meet a bunch of new friends, learn a whole bunch of new stuff, and go on all sorts of adventures! It'll be fun, I promise.'

She just stared up, thinking in way that only she could comprehend.

"...Okay."

'Great! We'll find you a good place to go to, but in the meantime let's pick you out a backpack and supplies!'

"YAY! I getta go shopping with Caddy!"

'Go get ready, I'll be with you in a sec.'

"Okay!"

With a quick hug to both of them, she was off in a flash.

'...'

>...*Wimper*

'Oooohhh, come here, honey.'

He laid his head against her chest, tightly gripping her around her middle.

And the liquid pride would not stop.
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>29
"MM"
~~~

>One two three- CURSES!

"She seriously asked for this."

>One two three-DRAT!

"She asked for this specific action."

>And a one two three four-SHOOT!

"Of allll the thing she could ask for, like a trip to celestiaworld or whatever, she asks for this."

>One two three four five six- YES! We've got it, now we just need- FOR STARS SAKE MM, the tango is not that hard!

"Sorry, I spent my college years getting wasted, not on interpretive dance."

>This isn't... nevermind. Just keep tangoing! Tango harder!

"You realize you owe me big time for this, right?"

>Yes yes I know, now Tango! Tango with that ghost until your legs can stand no longer!

"Well, I suppose you're no stranger to making me unable to stand all that well-"

>LANGUAGE! He's four! Or he was, oh, about sixty years ago. But still, it's the thought that counts! Besides, that only happened once... BAD CHILD!

"What did he say?"

>You don't want to know, now DANCE! DANCE MAREY DANCE! Aaaannnd... FINISH!

A blinding flash of light went off, and the ghostly grip holding her upright vanished.

"...Ow."

>Thank you! That's another one down.

"How many more do you have?"

He just looked around at a seemingly empty room, down at the long paper with crossed out names, and let out a breath.

>I... I think I need to visit the crying corner for a bit.
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>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~~
"Okay, hold on... just need to... urrrrrrrgh..."

>Did you have a particular beverage for breakfast?

"What, you mean... ghhhh... sugar-frosted sugar-bombs? Yeah, why do you... hnnnnnnnng!... ask?"

>Not... eh, whatever. Just surprises me that you have the forethought to do this one outside, is all.

"Well, it's not quite as impressive inside. There! At the risk of sounding repetitive... TADAAAAAAA!"

>At the risk of sounding repetitive, what did you do? I don't see any difference.

"...right, this is another one of those things. Gramma Zopherina used to play this game all the time with me, now I get to use it on you."

>...which game?

"Shiny, I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

>Didn't Spike already do this? Also, no. Tempted as I am sometimes, I'm not going to clock you.

"Oh just do it you baby. It's not even part of a fetish this time!"

>...Uh... o... kay? If this hurts you, just remem--

"Do it!"

*CRACK!*

>...OOOOOOOOOOOW! What the hell?! I think I broke my hoof! Ffffffff, jeez!

"And look, not even a scratch! Grab the semi-auto from the firing range next, it won't even tickle!"

>Tsssssssch, that stings. That's... cool, admittedly. How could a queen with an iron exoskeleton even die out?

"Pfft, I don't know. Last I heard her remains were on display at one of the Empire's museums. Some group or other bedazzled the hell out of her and stuck her there as a decoration."

>Huh. You wanna go see her?

"Sure, go grab the trolley and we'll roll on over."

>Trolley?

"Yeah. I turned my skin into iron, it's heavier than Luna after a midnight marathon of Cake Boss. Can't move an inch!"

>Tell me you're joking.

"Not a joke, I can't move at all. Why, I'd be totally helpless if SOMEpony decided he wanted to take advantage of my delicate state..."

>...

"Is that a no?"

>Honey? Remember you said you were looking for an art project to work on? Do you still have that bedazzler...?
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>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>...You didn't mention that she looked like a normal pony.

"Well, obviously. What, you think a museum had a giant Changeling Queen on display, and nobody mentioned it?"

>This makes the bejeweling thing worse.

"Yeah, it was pretty messed u- HEY! You racist son of a bitch! What, because she didn't look like a Changeling NOW all of a sudden it's a bad thing? Trigger warning! Offensive!"

>Wow, that did come out wrong.

"HATESPEECHHATESPEECH!"

>It's not a speech, it's-

"CHECK YOUR WHITE PONY PRIVILEGE!"

>Are you going to do this all day? You know I just meant-

"YOUR RIGHTS END WHERE MY FEELINGS BEGIN!"

>This is going to be a long cart ride home.

"RAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPEEEEEE!...Verbally."
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>Spike
"Rarity"
'Applejack'
[Twilight]
~~~
"Darling, what's happened to you? You look terrible!"

'You been gettin' enough sleep, loverboy? You been workin' too hard again, haven' you?"

>I'm fine... I'm fine... Jus'... Bed... destroyed... don' sleep so well.

Rarity immediately scoops Spike up

"Then you can sleep on me, dear!"

>Thanks, Rari- Zzzzzzz...

Spike flops into Rarity

And his spines jabbing hard into her flesh

'Rars, you okay? That looks painful.'

"Fine... he's just... gotten sharper... Everywhere- OH SWEET CELETIA, HE'S KNEADING ME WITH CLAWS."

'Ah was talkin' 'bout tha fire he keeps exhalin''

[Warned you both: dragons are passionate, destructive lovers.]

"Twilight, do be a dear and shut up and give me some morphine..."
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>SA
"Celestia"
'Chrysalis'
~~~~

>MMMmnnmmmmeeeemmblblblblbl!

"...What the hell?"

'He's just having a pity party, leave him be.'

"I most certainly will not. Shiny? What's wrong?"

>They're going shopping.

"Who?"

>Cadence and... and Two.

"I don't get it."

>They're buying...

'Oh for the love of- They're buying school supplies!'

>MMMNEEEEEAAAAAHAHAHAH!

"Ooooh, poor thing. Your little girl is about to go off to school?"

>EEEEEEEMMNNNNNEEEE!

'He's been like this all day, I swear. Say the word 'kindergarten' and he's gone.'

"Oh, you'll understand someday... on second thought, hopefully not. Let's hope you never reproduce."

'See, that I can get on board with.'

>AH DUN WANNA SEE 'ER GOOOOOOOO!

"I know, Shiny, but this is an important stepping stone in life! She'll be fine, really. It's not like she'll have trouble making friends."

>NNEEEEEEEEE!

'Like the wail of Auntie Gryllidae!'

"Will you hush and let me hug him?"

>MNUUUUUHHHHH!

'Wait, we're getting Shiny hugs? I'm suddenly all for this.'

>EEEUHHHHHH!

'...On second thought, I'll save it for later.'

"Good call. There there..."

>UNNUUUUHHHHH!
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>Applejack
"Spike"
'Shining'
__________

>Okay, really? This is jus' gettin' ridiculous.

"No, it was ridiculous three hours ago. Now it's downright annoying. Shiny, look, you're my boy and everything but you gotta move your sobbing ass off our work table, man.

'NUUUUUUUU!'

>Oh great, now he's on his side in the fetal position... what's wrong with this idjit?

"Two's going off to school."

>...really? Wow... tha's great! Congratulations, Shinin', yer' girls growin' u-

'I DUN WANT HER TO GOOOOHOHOHOOOO!'

"He's getting tears on the forms...."

>Why wouldn't ya want yer' daughter to receive a proper education?

'NEEEEEEH!'

"Because that's a totally understandable answer. Caught every word perfectly."

Shiny rubbed under his watering eyes and used a form to wipe his nose, the same form Spike had been seconds from signing.

"..."

'I-I do b-but... she's m-my little p-p-princess... she'll be away f-from home and not near meeeeheheheeee....'

Deciding it didn't matter, Applejack handed Shiny another form to which he blew his nose on.

>Shiny, this is probably gonna be the only time Ah say this and if asked about it Ah'll deny it in a heartbeat but... yer' a damn good stallion, and yer' makin' one helluva father. Two will be fine, an' should she stumble as kids do, we all know you'll be there to put her right again.

'R-really? You mean it?'

>Mean what? No clue what yer' talkin' about, get outta mah office.

'...thanks, Applejack.'

>If ya wanna thank me, get Cadance some cookin' lessons. Last batch of cookies she sent over nearly cracked a molar.

"Heck, it took me about two minutes to choke down half of one. It put up a worse fight than Pinkie Pie."

'...right.'
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>77
"AJ"

>Your highness, a word?

"Hey, 77, here fer a report?"

>No, I think I just realized an underlying problem with the guard we have not considered. A problem I think I am merely treating the symptoms of.

"And that is?"

>Who is the captain of the Royal Guard now that Shining Armor is gone?

"...uh...have ya asked 'em?"

>I did, they don't know either. Some thought *I* was the captain.

"..."

>My thoughts exactly. I cannot in good conscience hold such an office, being a member of a foreign army, hell, a foreign species. This needs to be fixed post-haste.

"Alrigh' who's the highest ranking officer?"

>Lieutenant Lucky Strikes.

"Why not him?"

>Because he detained some poor mare because she resembled Pommel's poison joke-affected appearance.

"Oh, right. So what do ya'll propose?"

>I will look through my personal notes on the current guard, I'll report back with my front runners and the Princesses can make their decision.

"Sounds good, 77, keep me posted."

>Of course, your majesty.

"...also, we ever get Coco outta the dungeon?"

>She refuses to leave until she manages to figure out the armor.

"Still 'cursing'?"

>Like Two pretending to be a sailor.
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>32
"Applejack"
~~~

The library of Canterlot was a curious place. Normally, once them moon had gone high, it was barren. There were but three exceptions to this.

The first is if Twilight Sparkle had decided that today was a good night to spend with her nose buried in a book, which was often.

The second was if Princess Luna had decided to catch up on some long missed history, which was less often.

And third, if a certain Changeling had decided to expand on need of knowledge. But tonight he stood surround not by the work of the classics, but of newspapers. Tons and tons of them. All focused around a particular date...

>Curious.

"It ain't really, that tabloid would print anythin'."

Whatever reaction she was hoping to get, she didn't get it.

>There is a kernel of truth to every story, Princess. You just have to know how to find it.

"There's a whole lotta lies to every story too, and sometimes we don't like acceptin' what's actually happenin', so we believe them."

>Hmm...

"That said, Ah' like ta' think of mah'self as an honest mare. Maybe Ah' can clear somethin' up for ya'."

>Mmmm, I don't suppose I need you to, but just to sate a bit of curiosity... is this Princess Cadence in this picture?

"...No, that's Chrysalis."

>How odd. I thought Cadenza did all of the public speaking, did she not? Or if not, surely one of the others would stand in for her... perhaps 18?

"18 gets stage fright. And the reason Chrysalis had ta' stand in was because Cadence broke her wing doin' somethin' stupid, and didn't want her subject's ta' worry."

>Intriguing... and this, here, this picture. Why is 42 in the center?

"Shinin' Armor is still technically Captain of the Guard, but they listen ta' her since he's normally busy. She's unofficial, but they don't care."

>And this legendary exchange between Appaloosa and the Empire, who's idea was it?

"...18 thought of it."

>And this little one right here... Applejack Two... she's their daughter?

Her eyes suddenly grew very, very hard.

"An' just what do you mean by that?"

>Calm yourself, it was simply... shocking to me is all. That of all ponies Shining Armor would be the one to step forward and embrace one of us. Not just one, but multiple! Why, it gets even stranger than that...

"...What do ya' mean?"

>Tell me, Applejack, how much do you trust Chrysalis?

"Ah don't."

>Such harshness! Why? She does keep them fed, does she not? She doesn't prevent them from seeking jobs, does not murder us indiscriminately... so she says ... she has given you no reason to think she is up to something, has she?

"..."

>I know, and that's what worried me too. Until I realized... It wasn't her love that keeps us fed, is it? I've tasted it, Applejack. I know where it comes from... and it scares me.

Nothing on this earth could have worried her more.

>She may be a whiny, unintelligent ninny, but... she is not stupid.

He slammed a paper against the desk, the cover taken over by an artists rendition of Chrysalis on the day of the invasion.

>I know this for a fact.

She did not move as he stood, walking past her and towards the exit.

>My brothers and sisters are stable, for the very first time in our long, bloody history. For once, we need not fear the sting of death by a ponies blade, or the call for our heads amidst a fire. We are growing. We are living. There is only one thing that could end this.

He moved in close to her ear.

>Ambition. All of the chess pieces are moving into play, and there is every chance... the black army is just waiting for the white side to blink, and steal the first move. I will not let that happen.

He shoved past her, headed towards the exit.

>The time for these games is over, Princess. But if there is one more round to play, I will win. For their sake.

With the slamming of the door, the candles were blown out, and the Princess was alone.

With nothing but a stack of tabloids, and her doubts.
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>"Coco Pommel"
'Flim'
"Flam"

---

"Why yes, dear brother, that would be brilliant!"

'Of course it would be! I said it!'

"Yes you did!"

>"Hey... would you mind, uh, quieting down, please? I can't concentrate on my work."

'If you insist, fairest lady.'

"Indeed we will!"

'Ah, but... for a price.'

"Yes! A price most fair."

'For a limited time only!'

"It would be this, fair lady: Flim and I--"

'That is to say me!'

"--Would indeed like to be released!"

'Yes we would!'

"And you are such the mare to do this for us!"

'Why... were we to be released, we could make a generous donation to you in thanks!'

"We would? Er, I mean, yes! We would!"

>"No."

'What?!'
"What?!"

>"Oh! Er, I'm sorry, but... no."

'But my dear lady, why?!'

"Yes, do tell!"

>"It's not my place to let you free. That's, uh, up to my... well, the guard that put me here... I guess. I also got my armour properly fitted now, so... I guess it makes me a guard until they realise I'm not a guard. I... can't really just leave and let you be unattended."

'Bother.'

"Indeed."

'Was quite hoping that'd work.

"I'd say so."

>"Quiet down... please."

'Brother, I can't say no to her face.'

"I suppose so."
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>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>PUT IT DOWN!

"Why? It's not like the things dangerous-"

*BLAM!*

>...

"...You keep a loaded gun in your room?"

>That is a family heirloom!

"Fucks sake, how old is the wood on this grip? It's fucking ancient."

>Been in my family for generations!

"How many bullets can it hold anyway?"

*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!*

>...

"...That many."

>Well, you've managed to blow a hole in every piece of furniture in my room. You done?

"Actually, I missed that couch."

>My mistake-

*CLACKCLICK- ChuCHINK!*

*BLAM!*

>...

"Nooow I'm done."

>I'm saving a bullet for you, you know that right?
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"Wait, I thought you only just figured out guns, how the hell is this thing old?"

>I come from a long line of powerful unicorns.

"Right, right, you going somewhere with this, or am I going to have to find some more bullets for this thing myself.?"

>Long story short, time travel spells exist. No idea who actually got that gun though, think he paradox'd himself out of existence.

"And the bullets?"

>...top shelf, behind the hollewed out books of Equestrian copyright law.

"Sweet! Hey, any furniture here to in particularly don't like? This thing is really fun to shoot!"

>I have got to stop letting you in here.

NON CANON
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>AJ
"SA"
~~~
>Shiny, we gotta have a bit o' a talk concernin' yer Empire.

"Oh, boy, this is gonna be like when you talk to Celestia. Please! Give me five minutes to limber up so I can backflip out the window!"

>Shinin' this here's kinda important. Yer people're slowly going blind!

"Now how the hell is that happening?"

>Migh' have somethin' ta do wit' everythin' in yer empire bein' made o' polished crystals.

"... how much are renovations going to cost?"

>Lemme put it to ya this way... NOPE!

Applejack proceeds to back flip from the crystal palace to the edge of the Empire in a single bound
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>29
"Fluttershy"
~~~~

>Thank you so much for doing this.

"....Huh."

>It really does mean a lot to her, really.

"...Huh."

>Someone she's always wanted to do but never could.

"....Huh."

>Oh, I know, but she loved that movie, apparently.

"...HUH."

>Out of curiosity, why DID you have a Snow White costume just lying around in wait?

"..."

>...A-hem, er, sorry for asking. Still, uh, thanks again for training the birds to land on her.

"..."

>...None of them have eye issues, right?

"What?"

A brilliant burst of light went off, and the beautiful dress that had been floating in the air dropped to the ground. Along with it, several previously-singing-now-screaming, birds.

>Oh dear.

"...HUH."

>Huh indeed.
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