yes, i agree, relationships do work two ways and the way i described it to jenny was like
mingyu: [touches wonwoo]
wonwoo: [pulls away angrily]
mingyu: [laughs and does it again later]
and mingyu's not stupid i think he like knew that it was unwanted at some point but i don't think he really understood why? but the thing is i will ALWAYS give wonwoo more flak for this situation despite defending him to the death while it was happening (like, ppl should not ever participate in unwanted touching. start teaching kids from a young age that they can say no to things they're uncomfortable with. don't force babies to kiss all their relatives wtf).

and the reason why is because of the ways i see myself and wonwoo being similar. believe it or not i relate WAY more to wonwoo than mingyu, and you might think, if you can empathize with wonwoo, wouldn't you be more supportive of him? wouldn't you see it from his perspective, understand his discomfort? and the answer is yes but having been in that position before, i also know where i've gone wrong. i've said this in the past but all the things i dislike about wonwoo, even if i love him genuinely with all my heart, there's a lot that i take issue with and it has to do, deeply, with the parts of myself that i see in him. and if you know me, you know my self-loathing runs deep. i can't count or explain to you the number of people i've cut out of my life, not necessarily because they were doing something wrong, but because of unclear unease or personal discomfort, or not being able to address conflict. pushing people away for any reason whatsoever, locking yourself into a box of self-isolation and rumination and brooding over the reasons that make you unhappy is NOT a solution. lack of communication is the root of so many problems, and wonwoo without good coping mechanisms 100% does the self-isolation thing. he goes quiet he overthinks he doesn't lay out plans for solution he's stuck on the problem. and i have deeply deeply deeply hurt people and broken extremely close-knit friendships over doing just that. so my criticism of wonwoo is not "you're a bad person" it's a "i hate that you do this because you're going to end up unhealthy, hurting ppl who love you, hurting yourself, and you shouldn't do this you shouldn't because i do it and you're reminding me of how bad it is you're reminding me of what i've done to people that i wish i hadn't done". because this is the thing wonwoo's only solution was NOT just to show that clear dislike --> discomfort. he absolutely one hundred percent could have just said something to someone else instead of bottling it up and even if that person wasn't mingyu someone could have helped him. is it possible that someone could have helped him without him reaching out? maybe...but i also have experience in this field and if you make yourself extremely unapproachable in such matters, no one feels like they can come help you because you just lash out. i just don't want wonwoo to live his life so unhappily, so lacking in fulfilment and meaningful relationships, because svt have his back!! and he needs to learn to trust in that or he'll be bitter and resentful of people but also himself and i wouldn't wish my self-loathing on anyone. am i projecting? yes, definitely, i don't REALLY know what wonwoo was going through or whatever i only have my observations, but do those observations align with my own experiences? yes, and that's why i'm so concerned. at any rate like i've said he seems a lot better at coping and sharing and stuff now whether that's a perspective shift or whatever he doesn't do the whole self-isolation as a coping mechanism thing anymore so hopefully things are good from here on out :)

as for your last point i don't really understand what you're saying. NO fansites will post pictures of other members if it's not accompanied by something cute/weird. ALL fansites will blur out other members' faces. that's the point of a member focused fansites, it's not to look at them standing beside each other or whatever it's to look at one person and one person alone. as a reference though, most of my wonhui pics come from wonwoo fansites, there are simply way more of them than jun fansites. these days raffine, saint, and proofer all come out with lots of wonhui pics, and in the past wontop (wontop had TONS of wonhui pics unnie if u read this i miss you), wonder, wonwings, and eternal summer all took pics of wonhui. attraction, bunnyblanc, even honey funny who's supposed to be a mingyu wonwoo fansite has a shot of wonhui up and they're not even interacting or looking at each other, i have a pic from hip hop lab that's just them standing beside each other, there's more i basically learned all of wonwoo's fansite names BECAUSE they posted pics of him with jun. i literally had a tumblr tag that was like "jun fans looking at wonwoo fansite pics to see their fave" because they would hang out together and jun would show up in wonwoo shots when jun fansites didn't go to events/esp since he had so few. i made a photobook for amy and all the wonhui pics from it came from vanilla sky (I MISS YOU SO MUCH...). on the flip side jun's japanese and chinese fansites post him with other members a lot but there are jun fansites that hate wonhui (+other ships) so i 1) don't think that wonwoo fansites do cut out people as much as you think you do and 2) don't think that it's unusual even if they do cut out other members because other members' fansites do the same thing...