Kira Visits Horseland Episode 1: I Want It All

“FUCK! YOU FUCKING BASTARDS CAN’T STOP ME!”
>That little SHIT, little bastard Hayato
>He did this
>Ruined EVERYTHING
>All he had to do was just play the fool, keep things together until every single one of these complete SHITHEADS was dead
>But no
>He fucked it all up, the rebellious shit
>”[STAR PLATINUM: THE WORLD!]”
>FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING JOTAROOOOO-
>THOOOM
>OH GOD YOUR HAND IS BUSTED
>THAT FUCKING JOESTAR BASTARD
>TIME-STOPPING SACK OF SHIT
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
>WHUMP
>
>
>You…
>You can still move
>You can still push the switch!
>Bites The Dust will still work, and if you use it on yourself, even that little shit kid won’t be able to remember anything!
>You’re almost home free!
“I’ll push it… I’m gonna push it… Bites The Dust will activate again…”
>Your hand hurts so, so much
>But that doesn’t matter
>You need to roll over so you can hit the switch…
>I’m gonna push it… I-I’m gonna push it… I’m gonna push the switch right now…”
>Everything’s going fuzzy
>It’s hard to focus, but right now it’s just you, [Killer Queen], and your right hand
>Gotta push the switch…
>The mangaka’s saying something, but it doesn’t matter to you
>Gotta push the switch…
>Someone behind you is yelling frantically
>Need to push the switch…
>He just keeps going
>Doesn’t matter, just hit the sw-
>SKR-SKLUTCH
>…
>…
>No
>NO
>You can’t be dead, you can’t be dead, it’s not possible
>This girl, saying that you’re dead and gone…
>It’s not possible!
>Blood pours into your eyes as you feel your head begin to split open
>The wounds from the ambulance are reopening!
>NO
>”It looks like you remember, Yoshikage Kira. The exact way you died.”
>NO NO NO NO NO
>”It looks like you remember now!”
“Just what are you!? Who the hell are you!?”
>In response, she simply turns around
>That scar…
>Even after everything you’ve done, everything you’ve become, you can’t forget it
“It’s you… Reimi Sugimoto.”
>It’s really been fifteen years?
>Seems like only a few weeks have passed since this all started
>Since you became a killer
>She seems to be trying to goad you into looking at her from the front
>But that would be completely foolish if you are where you think you are
“You wouldn’t be showing me that wound on your back to get me to come around to your front, would you? My father told me about a particular location in this town a while ago, a place where the dead arrive before they pass on. He said that spirits should never turn around in that place, for they will be taken from this mortal realm by an insurmountable power. You wouldn’t be trying to get rid of me in that fashion, by chance?”
>She’s stunned
>You were right on the money
>Let’s see how she likes a taste of her own medicine
>Your right hand finds a nice soft spot on her left cheek, and begins twisting her head backwards
>Just a little more…
>A fresh feeling flows through your body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toenails
>The blood on your head dries and flakes away, and the wounds the ambulance inflicted on you close up
>A golden lock falls across your eyes as your physical form begins to shift
>You’re back in your old body again
>This is a brand new start for Yoshikage Kira
>One final loose end to tie up, and you’ll be home free
>”Did you really think we’d wait here for 15 years without a backup plan?”
>’We?’
>AAAAAAUGH
>HER DOG
>HER DAMN FILTHY MUTT
>NO
>NO NO NO NO NO
>Arnold’s teeth slice clean through your arm
>Numbness fills the space where your right hand once was as, unsupported by Reimi’s shoulder, you tumble forward, twisting around through your momentum-
>And face directly backwards
>You have turned around in the Ghost Alley
>Beyond the boundaries of life and death, there is only blackness
>And hands
>Dozens of hands, hundreds of them, all grotesque and limp and pale, surge forth from the abyss around you, each grasping a different part of your body
>NO!
>You won’t go!
“[KILLER QUEEN]! MAKE THEM EXPLODE!”
>Summoning your Stand proves useless, and the disgusting appendages grasp it as well, immobilizing it-
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
>-and breaking it into tiny pieces
>The pain is indescribable, but with the last bit of life left in you only one question bubbles to the surface
“Where… where are they going to take me!?”
>Her answer is cold and cruel
>”Who knows? But I’m sure it’s somewhere you won’t be able to rest in piece.”
>Gale-force winds blow from the other end of the alley, and the hands drag you back into the abyss
>Wind
>Fracture
>Pain
>A universe, born and unborn
>Great rainbow gates, spanning space and time
>A voice, ethereal and regal and stunning in its tone and timbre
>”Perhaps you will find the light within you… Perhaps you are indeed worthy…”
>Another universe, surging and undulating in its cosmic dance
>Spiraling galaxies
>Celestial bodies
>The sky aflame with the glory of Creation
>A perfect sphere, stunningly blue and verdant, rushing up from the background to meet you
>And then darkness

>It’s a bit warm
>That’s the first thing you notice
>It’s a bit warm and you’re lying down on your side, upon what feels like a bed of silken grass
>The sun is shining through your eyelids, and you’re relaxing in a field, or maybe upon a hill
>It’d be a nice place for a picnic, and maybe you could take your girlfriends with y-
>Wait
>Josuke
>Okuyasu
>Koichi
>Jotaro
>HAYATO
>No no no no no no NO NO NO!
>You LOST, and now you’re dead and those FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES-
>Hang on
>You’re feeling sensations, but you’re dead
>Shouldn’t the afterlife not feel like anything at all?
>Time to see where you are
>And perhaps WHAT you are
>Very slowly, you open your eyes
>A rather pastel-colored tree stretches gracefully overhead
>Its boughs gently shade you from the sun
>The trunk is sturdy and rough, but very hardy-looking
>The sky is much the same as the tree: graceful, pastel, gentle on the eyes
>In fact, this entire place seems to be like something from a children’s anime
>Brightly lit, brightly colored, heavily saturated, very cutesy
>How curious
>Is your body alright? Everything where it needs to be?
>A perfunctory examination reveals that everything is in the right place
>At least you’re still in one piece, even if your life is in tatters
>…Can the same be said of [Killer Queen]?
>Oh no
>No no no
>You call your Stand out into reality
>And are rewarded with a single black gladiator’s glove
>It’s missing the little metal [Killer Queen] skull on the back
>Oh God, this isn’t possible
>If [Killer Queen] is fractured like this, how are you still alive?
>[spoiler]How are you going to get new girlfriends without making a mess?[/spoiler]
>Can you even wear this glove?
>To your surprise, it fits perfectly
>Well, if this is what remains of your Stand, then there’s a chance that it works the same way
>You tentatively touch the tree trunk with your left index finger
>A tiny cat-styled egg timer appears on the bark
>Better back up, since [Killer Queen] protected you from close proximity to your explosions, but it’s not whole anymore so there’s no telling what could happen
“Switch on.”
>Ka-chick
>There’s a very quiet boom and a small gouge in the bark appears where the bomb was planted, about the size of a 100 yen coin
>What’s left of [Killer Queen] isn’t very powerful, but it’s better than nothing at all
>It tears at your gut to see this happen to your Stand, after everything you did and were able to do because of it
>Maybe there’s still a chance to undo everything, and if it works, you’ll be the most grateful man in the universe
>Set the bomb on the tree, prime your thumb, say the words
“[Bites The Dust], switch on!”
>This time, you actually do push the switch
>And nothing happens
>The Primary Bomb is severely weakened, [Bites The Dust] is almost certainly gone, and-
>Wait. If you’re dead, you should be your true self again, right? Which means you should be able to do one more thing
“[Sheer Heart Attack].”
>Nothing comes out of the glove, the tiny tank doesn’t appear, and your mood does not lift
>You’re alone in a strange land, probably several kilometers from civilization, with only your wits and a very low-powered explosion to help you along
>Time to pick a direction and start walking
>Before you can, a massive pink blur darts from the nearby glen and nearly knocks you over as it streaks around the clearing faster than you can follow
>”OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH!!!!”
>It jerks to a stop in front of you, revealing itself to be-
>What
>It… it’s a small horse? Perhaps a pony?
>It has a mane and tail, and doesn’t seem all that different from the horses back home…
>You’ve really accepted it, haven’t you?
>Accepted that you’re dead and in another world, without most of your Stand to help you
>Well, nothing you can do about that now
>The only real difference between this horse and the horses back home is that it is brightly and unnaturally colored like the rest of this world, and it has 3 balloons on its flank
>Also it can apparently talk
“…Hello. Can you understand me?”
>Its face lights up in what you think is joy
>Very human-like expressions on this horse’s face
>”WOW IT’S SOOO COOL TO MEET YOU! MY NAME’S PINKIE PIE WHAT’S YOURS!?”
>She is very, very loud
>And also speaks perfect Japanese for some reason
>You need to lie to her though. You may have escaped Jotaro, but there’s still a chance that allowing anyone here to know who you really are may be detrimental
“…Josuke. I’m Josuke. Where might I be, and are there more creatures here like me?”
>”Well, you look kind of like a minotaur, but I’ve never seen one so slim and short and bald, so I think you’re something else. Maybe a monkey?”
“Er…The term would be human. That’s what my species calls themselves.”
>”COOL! And to answer your first question, you’re in Equestria, just outside of Ponyville! Me and my friends were going to go to the mountains in a bit to take a look at this weird place that our magical table map showed us this morning so maybe you could tag along since you look like you’re not from around here and possibly not even from this universe and so we could educate you about Equestria as we go and maybe you could tell jokes or show us magic tricks or something?”
>She… she didn’t even breathe once during that explanation
>How…?
>You know what?
>If she and her friends are going to help you acclimate to this world, you might as well go with them on their trip.
>You could pick up some useful historic or general knowledge on the way, and maybe even figure out how to piece [Killer Queen] back together
>And once you’ve learned everything you can and gotten your powers back, you can be rid of them and move on
>Perhaps you’ll even find a few girlfriends to spend your time with
>Once again, a feeling of freshness flows through your body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toenails
>This is truly a brand new start for Yoshikage Kira

>It’s the little things
>You thought it’d be easier to adjust to a new world, but the little things keep bothering you like something gnawing at the edges of your soul
>The grass is too brightly colored, the sky is too blue, the wind is too soft on your face, the sun is too yellow, the birdsong is just a little too different from home
>Even the animals are different, seeming to possess a keen intelligence that lurks behind the sheen of their eyes
>It’s extremely unnerving
>As you walk towards the nearby town that Pinkie claims to live in, you finally actually acknowledge that the entire world looks like you stepped into a fanciful children’s cartoon
>There’s you, hard-edged and heavily shadowed
>And there’s the new world around you, bright and soft and whimsical in its existence
>What a bizarre contrast
>Have you always looked like this?
>Will you even be able to survive here?
>Can you really put up with interacting with a whole race of creatures like this Pinkie Pie?
>Are you ever going to get [Killer Queen] back?
>Is there a chance that JOTARO could come find you?
>No no no no noNONONONONONO-
>It’s okay Kira, calm down, calm down, it’ll be fine
>You’ve been through worse, after all
>J-just take deep breaths, deep breaths and it’ll all be okay
>After a brief and agonizing internal struggle, you emerge triumphant over your emotions, force yourself to keep moving, and bring your fingernails away from your mouth
>Pinkie takes notice of the fact that you had to stop to solve your little emotional issue and turns around, concern evident on her face
>”What’s wrong Josuke? Are you okay?”
>You force a small smile onto your face, and relax the tension in your shoulders and neck
“A-ah, yes. I’m just fine Miss Pinkie.”
>She’s scrutinizing you
>It takes a few seconds of holding the smile and praying you don’t start sweating before she smiles and looks away, seemingly satisfied
>”Okie dokie! Oh, and you can call me just Pinkie! Let’s get a move on to Ponyville, I know you’ll love it there, Josuke!”
>Hearing that name sends shudders through you, but sticking to your cover is paramount
>No one can know your true name here
>You can’t repeat the mistake you made with that Shigechi boy
>…
>Come to think of it, you took to this world just a little too well
>No manic breakdowns, no freak outs, no questioning why miniature anime-styled horses were the dominant forms of life on this planet, and no freaking out about being dead
>Even the loss of your Stand didn’t faze you too much
>And Pinkie
>She talks a kilometer a minute, running through her words like Joe Montana runs across a football field
>It’s all making your head spin
>How have horses evolved to become the top of the food chain?
>How are they able to speak your language?
>If [Killer Queen] was broken by the Ghost Alley, and you along with it, how the hell are you still alive?
>Can you ever get it back?
>…
>No answers are forthcoming
>All you can do right now is rely on this small horse to help you, as strange and uncomfortable as that sounds
>Maybe it’s easy to adjust to all this because you’re dead
>…Or at least you’re supposed to be
>Is this perhaps an episode of Dissociative Disorder?
>You could be placing your feelings to the side in order to preserve your standard mental state
>Helpful, but it’ll ultimately backfire when you have to deal with everything at once
>That comes later though, and you can figure out how to survive that ordeal in the meantime
>”C’mon Josuke, we’re almost there! I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends!”
>…Right
>You’ll have to adjust to this new world and its inhabitants
>Need to figure out where you are and what you can do around here, and accompany Pinkie and her friends to wherever they’re going
>But above all else, you need to get your Stand back
>[Killer Queen] is your top priority
>Without it you feel vulnerable, like you’re missing a leg or arm
>The real question is, if the glove is all you have left, will it grow back over time? Or is something else going on here?
>As you walk over the crest of the hill with Pinkie, you shield your eyes from the sun high above and make a vow only you can hear
“No matter what happens from here on out, I absolutely must recover my Stand. And as my Stand augmented my ability to do what I desired, my goal must now be reflected in the power I have left. I want to feel the rush I had as I watched those shitty brats die in front of me. I want to feel the way I did with [Bites The Dust]. I want it all back, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get there.”
>[I Want It All]… Not a bad name for the broken Stand you find yourself stuck with. Maybe you’ll keep it while you investigate this new world.
>No matter what, you’re getting back everything you’ve lost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5i_sIyafuA&feature=youtu.be
————————————————————————
STAND NAME: [I WANT IT ALL]
STAND MASTER: PUNISHED KIRA, A MAN DENIED HIS QUIET LIFE

POWER: E
SPEED: D
RANGE: E
DURABILITY: E
PRECISION: B
POTENTIAL: ?

APPEARANCE: [Killer Queen]’s left glove, minus the medallion
ABILITY: Kira can directly wear [I Want It All], giving him access to a severely weakened version of KQ’s Primary Bomb. The ability is only able to gouge out an area the size of a  quarter in whatever it’s used on, but it still hurts, probably. Whether this Stand can grow into something stronger is unknown.
————————————————————————

>A stone bridge crosses a babbling brook beneath you, and you walk across into Ponyville itself
>Pinkie bounces alongside you, elation clear on her face
>There are some more small horses around this medieval-looking town square, all milling about and enjoying the sunshine
>You’ve been dead twenty minutes and already you miss the yellowed skies of Morioh
>Blue was such an odd color to see above you
>”So Josuke, this is Ponyville! My friends and I all live here and keep the town safe from monsters, rudey-poos, and various ne’er do wells! We don’t have a lot of time for introductions but every pony around here is reeeeeeeeeally friendly, so don’t worry about freaking them out! C’mon!!”
>Pinkie grabs you by the elbow with her hoof, which wraps around it like a spaghetti noodle
>What in the hell is she-?
>Suddenly Pinkie takes off through the center of town towards an ugly crystal castle at the speed of light!
>As you take a look at the streets while you are dragged behind her, you see several of the other ponies pointing at you curiously
>Before you can consider that further, Pinkie screeches to a halt in front of the crystalline abomination and throws open the doors
>”GIRLS! I FOUND SOMETHING REALLY COOL!”
>”PINKIE WE’RE IN THE MAP ROOM, GET OVER HERE AND STOP YELLING!”
>”OKAY!”
>The little pink horse turns to you, smile stretching her cheeks to their fullest
>”Oh boy I’m so excited becauseyou’reabouttomeetmyfriendsandthey’rethebestestponiesagalcouldaskforexceptSpikebuthe’sadragonbutstillacoollittleguyand-“
>”PINKIE COME ON, WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF PLANNING OUR EXPEDITION!”
>Expedition?
>”Anyway, I’m sure you’ll all get along just fine!”
“I have no doubt about that.”
>You deadpan and make no effort to hide the irritation on your face
>Smiling widely, Pinkie leads you through a few hallways and arrives at a grand-looking pair of huge double doors
>”Here we are!”
>She flings them wide open, showing you the strangest room you’ve ever seen
>Giant garish crystals line the walls, supporting the roof and surrounding a ring of six tall thrones with symbols on them around a table that seems to grow out of the floor
>Occupying each of thrones are an assortment of brightly colored horses similar to the ones you saw outside
>There’s an empty throne bears the same symbol as the one on Pinkie’s flank
>Nothing out of the ordinary, at this point
>It’s actually what’s on the table that interests you the most
>It appears to be a holographic three-dimensional map of somewhere, possibly the new world you’ve entered
>Now that is incredible
>There’s something hovering over the far part of the map, which you take a look at, but Pinkie speaks again, addressing the whole room, so you turn to her and listen
>”Hey girls, I met this really cool human guy while I was out for my mid-afternoon stroll! He wants to come with us on our expedition!”
>The white and purple horses turn away from the map, revealing horns on their-
>HORNS!?
>Suddenly the room begins to swim, and you feel unsteady on your feet
>Are you really sure you’re in another world and not just honestly dead? Normal horses don’t look like that!
>Unicorns belong in the realm of fairy tales and make-believe! They’re the hopes of little girls given form, but they’re not actually real!
>As you struggle to stay on your feet, the white…unicorn hesitantly walks up to you, then brushes its hair back over its head
>”Pinkie dear, is he um, alright? He seems a little… sick.”
>You were completely wrong: there’s no way this is actually happening, surely you’re hallucinating from such a heady victory
>[Bites The Dust] did its job and you’re just imagining things from finally ridding yourself of the biggest obstacles to your happiness
>Then you glance at the map
>There’s something there in a little circle that not twenty-five minutes ago you thought you’d never see again, something that confirms your existence and purpose in this world
>[Killer Queen]’s skull, suspended above rotating marks identical to the ones on the backs of the thrones
>Scrambling past the white unicorn, you fixate feverishly on the image as you rush up to the map for where it might be in relation to Ponyville
>Here!
>This small cluster of houses around a tiny version of the crystal castle must be where you are, but there’s an entire mountain range and hundreds of kilometers between you and your Stand! You’ll never get there without some sort of help or transportation!
>”Hello, Mr. Human? Are you interested in our map?”
>The purple one clip-clops up to you, and you swear you can see some kind of vestigial wings on its sides, but that DOESN’T MATTER
>Pointing at the map, you duck down to its eye level and inquire in your most perfectly and completely calm voice
“Where might that particular circle be indicating? It seems rather important.”
>It backs away from you before walking over to the map itself
>”W-we’re not sure, that’s why we were preparing an expedition. We’ll take a train and then trek overland to get to that location and try to figure out what that symbol means, and hopefully resolve whatever conflicts might be occurring there.”
>That’s a good enough answer for you, and you can feel the manic grin stretching out your face
“Fantastic! I’d love to come with you and discover a little bit more about this world in the process!”
>She, at least you think it’s a she, scrutinizes you for a few seconds before her face lights up
>”I think it would be a wonderful learning experience, and while you learn we’ll deal with any friendship problems that are occurring there!”
>That might be the most uselessly sappy thing you’ve ever heard, but for your Stand’s sake you decide to play along
“Yes, learning about friendship and helping others with it, I’d love that a lot! When do we leave?”
>The others who have been hanging back this whole time step forward to address your question, and based on the tone of their voices and their long eyelashes, they’re all female
>The blue one steps forward, unfurling her wings
>WINGS-
>…Eh, it’s just like your Greco-Roman history books
>A pegasus, you think?
>Certainly not the strangest thing you’ve seen in the last two minutes
>She gets up in your face and gives you what probably passes for an intimidating glare here
>”We’re gonna leave right now, but I hope you can keep up. And that you don’t do anything to mess with our expedition!”
>The subtle challenge to your physical abilities just stretches your smile wider
“My dear, I’d never dream of such a thing, though I don’t believe I’ve caught your name yet.”
>She straightens up and looks you square in the eye
>”I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest pegasus in all of Equestria! Good to meetcha, mister human!”
>You nod and grunt your acquiescence before addressing the whole room
“Anything that any of you might need me to do to prepare, I will. That said, I do believe I brushed you aside very rudely, Miss…?”
>You turn, addressing the white unicorn to save face and offering her your hand
>She walks right up and takes it with the bottom of her hoof
>Disgusting
>”Rarity, Mister…?”
“Josuke.”
>It’s getting easier to tell that lie every time you introduce yourself
>As you finish shaking her hoof, it takes every ounce of will in your body to not wipe your hand off on your suit
>”I must say, Mr. Josuke, you have impeccable taste in fashion. Where ever did you get that suit? It’s simply divine!”
>May as well play along, try to get on their good sides early on
“Why, I commissioned it myself from a tailor where I’m from. It cost a pretty penny but the effect and elegance have been completely worth it.”
>”I’ll say, you look amazing in it. Though I bet I could make something just as grand!”
>That earns your full attention. Though you’d only just arrived in this world, it was nice to know there was a local clothing shop you could reach out to for new outfits
“Oh? Are you a seamstress?”
>She feigns a gasp, mock-offended by your remark
>”Why sir! I am so much more than just a seamstress! Tailor work, stitching, and inlays are merely part of my repertoire! I am an artiste, a creator of all things clothing, and most importantly a fashionista! What I seek to create is nothing less than the future of fashion itself!”
>She’s slowly coaxing a genuine smile out of you
>Finally, someone who knows the importance of keeping up appearances and looking good while doing so!
>You may have just found yourself a fine asset for your stay in this world
“When we have the free time you’ll have to show me just what you can do, Rarity.”
>She nods before turning back to the map, engrossed in some mundane task
>”I will be sure to do so, Josuke. It’s been a pleasure to meet you and I’m glad you’ll be coming with us on this journey.”
“Likewise.”
>Ecstatically, Pinkie bounces over to you from her conversation with Applejack
>”EEEE! Josuke, I’m so glad you’re already making friends here! I knew it’d be a good idea to introduce you to them!”
>The notion of friends is not something you’d ever really considered, especially considering what you’d occupied yourself with before arriving here
>They just weren’t something you needed, and still aren’t
>Still, if you’re going to be out in the open from day one, you may as well play your part
“Yes Pinkie, it was much easier than I thought it’d be. Thank you for bringing me here. Now is there anything I need to do before we leave?”
>She opens her mouth like she’s about to say something, but then she stops and sniffs the air before putting her hooves around her mouth
>”Psst, Josuke! You need to take a shower! You smell like something died!”
>For just a tiny fraction of a second, her statement gives you pause
>Then you laugh it off, deflecting her criticism with a hearty chuckle
“Well, sure slept that way! I ah, I have no spare clothes, Pinkie. Do you know where I can get some?”
>She pauses for a second, hoof to her chin, before springing up with an idea
>”We could get Twilight to magic your suit clean! That way you get out of the shower and there’s nice warm comfy clothes waiting for you when you’re done, AND we won’t have to bother Rarity about putting something together for you before we take off!”
>MAGIC?
>Okay, you’re not letting that one slide, but by the time you’ve regained your senses enough to question Pinkie’s explanation, she’s already dragged the purple unicorn over to you
>Twilight nods and smiles, and introduces herself
>”Josuke, I’m Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville’s resident princess of friendship. I’d have introduced myself properly sooner, but your arrival caught us at a bit of a weird time. Sorry about that. Anyway, Pinkie tells me that you need me to magic your clothes clean, is that right?”
>Not wanting to press the issue of MAGIC too far, and trying to retain what tenuous grip you have on your diminished sanity, you simply nod
“Please.”
>”Great! I’ll guide you over to a shower, and you can just drop your suit off outside the door when you’re ready. I’ll have it dirt-free, pressed, and nice and warm in no time at all! It’s incredible, really, that you wear clothes. Does every hyoo man wear clothes?”
“…Yes.”
>With that, Twilight trots quickly out of the map room, leading you through a veritable maze of crystalline corridors to a nondescript door slightly smaller than doors back on earth
>”Here we are! When you’re all ready just drop the suit outside and I’ll take care of it!”
>You take a second to walk inside and inspect the bathroom
>It’s moderately sized, outfitted in the western style instead of what you’re used to, and seemingly hewn from the same crystal as everything else in this place
>There’s a shower in the corner which has a curtain and looks to be just roomy enough to support you hunched over
>Tenuously, you remove your grass-stained and sweat-ridden suit jacket and pants, followed by the rest of your garments, and knock on the door
>”Yes?”
>You clear your throat
“Here are all my clothes, Twilight. Thank you again.”
>They are wrapped in a purple aura and levitated out of your hands and into the hallway
>Whoa
>”I’ll have them waiting outside by the time you’re done in there, Josuke. Go ahead and get scrubbing!”
>Ear to the door, you hear her hoof steps slowly fade into the distance, and only then do you stand up, lock the door, and turn on the hot water
>As the shower heats up, you take a second to review everything that’s happened so far
>That bastard Jotaro Kujo killed you, then Reimi Sugimoto killed you again, and you somehow ended up here with only a small part of your Stand left
>Pinkie happened by and took you in, and despite the dominant form of life on this world apparently being brightly-colored miniature horses of varying races, you had little trouble with comprehending and accepting all of it, which strikes you as very suspicious
>As steam vents out of the shower you decide it’s time to step in, and find it stocked with an assortment of shampoos and soaps and even a washcloth, which you take
>There’s still a possibility that you’re just holding all your emotions back, though your near collapses upon meeting the unicorns and grasping a faint sliver of hope really make it seem like you’re going to snap soon
>That would truly be terrible, because as excited as you are to have located [Killer Queen], you can’t let anyone see the “other” side of you
>You can’t show them the truth of your being
>To lose your composure now would be to jeopardize this mission and any chance you’d ever have of getting your Stand back, and that must not be allowed to happen
>Only when [Killer Queen] has been retrieved will you express your true emotions, and probably not even then
>For now you’ll rely on your hopes and desires to buoy your facade of friendship, then you’ll get your Stand back and figure out what to do from there
>Satisfied with your plan, you begin scrubbing, trying to figure out exactly how magic might work here, now that Twilight has shown you that it’s real

>After what felt like a heavenly eternity but was probably just fifteen minutes, you stepped out of the shower, dried off, and retrieved your suit, pressed and gently warmed, from where Twilight left it next to the bathroom door
>Following that, you ventured out of the bathroom, then spent five minutes trying to remember the way back to the map room before coming across Pinkie again, who led you there
>Then you were properly introduced to the six young lady horses who had so kindly decided to take you along with them
>They had a dragon too, which was yet another freaky thing you had to cope with, but he seemed like a decent sort of guy
>A little weak-willed and malleable, but decent
>After all of that, you’re finally ready to move out on the train, and it’s not even ten in the morning yet by your estimations
>As the seven of you board the train, Twilight and Rarity take a seat and gesture at the seat across from theirs
>”Josuke, this is gonna be a long ride. You wanna chat a little now that we’ve got all the work out of the way?”
>Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash take the seat behind you, and Pinkie and her orange friend Applejack take the seats across the aisle
>You see no way out of this situation, as the ride is going to take hours to get you to your destination
>Once again, you have no choice but to play along, so you take the seat across from the unicorns
“Yes, let’s chat. What would you like to talk about?”

>You spent the train ride discussing various aspects of your life and your world, which brought forth the incredulous reactions you’d been expecting of the denizens of this world
>Though you’d spent the ride on edge, you couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at Pinkie’s exclamation of “a world ruled by MONKEYS!?”
>Of course, you’d caught yourself immediately afterwards
>Yoshikage Kira doesn’t need friends, nor does he need to connect with them
>The topics changed repeatedly, from how human government was structured to how humans treated each other, and you did your best to keep their impressions of Earth on the good side, and when they’d gotten as much as you were willing to give on the subject, you began questioning them about their own world
>The marks on their flanks were apparently called “cutie marks” and dictate a pony’s skills and destiny, and you weren’t sure what to think about that
>Apparently they addressed each other as “everypony,” which is nearly as silly as all the bad horse puns they have for country and town names
>The notion of a horse like Twilight that rules the world and is apparently immortal stretched your belief pretty far, but for the sake of the mission you were able to prevent any more freak outs for the rest of the ride
>All too soon, the train came to a stop, and the seven of you crossed a small bridge into a dense jungle
>Absolutely nothing of note happened there, except for a whole continent’s worth of butterflies settling on every square centimeter of Fluttershy’s body
>It was almost freakish, while slightly stirring something in your chest
>Perhaps the small part of you that felt something for Shinobu was being moved by the display from nature’s gentlest creatures
>You’ll have to eradicate that part as soon as possible
>Yoshikage Kira brooks no weakness
>After a good long trek through the surprisingly temperate and non-humid jungle, you arrived at the crest of a hill, beyond which was a large dusty valley with a path winding down towards two neat rows of houses with one house at the end facing the rest, each perfectly unremarkable from this height
>”Alright, we made it. This is the place.”
>”Are you suuuuure about that, Twilight?”
>The purple unicorn rolls her eyes in annoyance, and you give her a look of false sympathy
>”Yes Rainbow, we’re here. That’s the exact spot the map back home showed us. C’mon everypony and Josuke, let’s go resolve a friendship issue. But uh, be careful. It might be a little dangerous.”
>Twilight grins sheepishly, and you all set off towards the tiny village
>The trek down takes less time than you’d expect from a steep, rugged, rocky path, and in what feels like no time at all you’re all standing at the bottom, panting slightly from the exertion
>”Well, I hope we don’t have to do more of that any time soon. My mane would get horribly frizzy.”
>You barely even felt the burn because of your well-toned body
>That was a light walk for you
>”Phew, alright we made it. Now let’s head on in and try to figure out why the map sent us here! Come on girls! And Josuke!”
>You begin walking alongside Twilight and the rest of the girls up to the… quaint little village
>You suppose quaint is an adequate way to explain it, but it seems almost perfectly nondescript, like every single small fantasy village you’ve ever read about
>There’s something slightly odd about the way everything looks, like it’s somehow too uniform or too perfect, but there’s something deeper than that
>You can’t quite place your finger on it though
>It’s really too bad, this place would be pretty nice to live in if it wasn’t in the middle of the badlands several hundreds of kilometers from any civilization
>Really, you’re unimpressed
>As your group draws closer, though, a couple ponies milling about approach you
>Without even gawking or asking what mystical manner of creature you are, they introduce themselves as Double Diamond and Party Favor and exchange pleasantries with the whole group
>It takes all of your willpower to resist the urge to scoff
>”So has there been any trouble around here recently?”
>”Oh, there’s never been any trouble in our little town. But perhaps you’d like to talk to Starlight Glimmer, our wonderful founder.”
>As the duo turns and gestures for you all to follow, you catch sight of their “cutie marks,” which are exactly the same: a little black equal sign
>The rest of the group takes note of it as well, though none of them raise the issue with your guides
>Pinkie reacts very unusually though, scowling at them and the rest of the villagers before she pulls you down to whisper in your ear
>”I don’t like it Josuke. Everypony’s smiling too widely, and I KNOW smiles. This place is bad news.”
>She lets you up, and you just sit on that thought for a bit before Double Diamond interrupts your thinking
>He and Party Favor knock on the door simultaneously, which strikes you as particularly odd
>”Starlight? We have some new visitors!”
>With that small introduction, they open the door and lead you into what you would also describe as a quaint room
>A fireplace in the corner, bookshelves along the walls, and a few paintings create a homely atmosphere for the place, but something still feels off
>As you all shuffle into the room, you catch Rainbow Dash whispering something about fighting under her breath to Applejack, and then the door on the far end of the room swings open
>A unicorn that looks much like Twilight steps out from the other room and her eyes lock directly onto yours, and a look you cannot read flits onto her face for the briefest of moments
>Then she composes herself and steps forward
>”Ah, welcome! I’m delighted to have you here!”
>Rainbow visibly deflates, presumably at the realization that none of you will be fighting anything
>You have to admit, you’re disappointed too; fighting anything now would probably help point you in the direction of your Stand
>Double Diamond introduces the seven of you, pausing for a second before recalling your name
>”And this is eh… Josuke! The ladies here tell me he’s something called a ‘hew min!’ Isn’t that exciting?”
>He’s trying way too hard to be ecstatic about all this, something’s definitely not right with this place and it’s putting you on edge
>Starlight seems completely unperturbed though, and she continues with her excitement about welcoming you all
>”So we have a Princess visiting us AND a member of a previously unknown species visiting? Well isn’t that just lucky! What’s brought you all out to our little village?”
>Every comment or question this mare makes gets up under your skin like nothing else
>”It’s a long story, but let’s just say we found it on a map!”
>”Well, however you found us we’ll be glad to have anypony who wants to experience TRUE friendship for the first time!”
>At that you furrow your brow
>Wasn’t Twilight supposed to be the “Princess of Friendship?” Wouldn’t she have more knowledge on that subject than this backwater town leader?
>”You see, around here we don’t flaunt our special talents because we have none to flaunt!”
>Is that perhaps the reason for their bizarre cutie marks?
>”Is that why you all have those cutie marks?”
>Bravo Twilight, you got it in one
>”Well, maybe you’ll understand it better if I just give you all a tour of our little town!”
>With that, Starlight marches out the front door and the entire town launches into a song about the wonders of communism and being just the same as everyone else
>That very last point you can agree with, even though there’s no way to be the same as everyone else if you aren’t even the same species
>At the end of that little number, the entire town is standing in a big creepy circle around you all, and Starlight makes a few final remarks about ponies never wanting to leave before she takes off, muttering to herself the whole way
“…That was pretty unnerving, I can’t lie. I’ve been in this world less than a day and even I can tell that this place isn’t normal.”
>Everyone else nods assent, and you’re all ushered to a table with the worst muffins you’ve ever eaten
>You have half a mind to actually spit it out despite your Japanese upbringing, but for the sake of appearances you stuff the rest in your mouth and force the dry lump down while Twilight argues with the local baker, a unicorn
>”I’m sorry, it’s just that different talents lead to different opinions which lead to bitterness and misery. So why aren’t you… y’know, bitter or miserable?”
>She looks over her shoulder suddenly, apprehensive about the presence of Double Diamond across the road, who is reading a paper in a very suspicious manner
>”On second thought, never mind!”
>She grins too widely and whispers over your shoulder as she enters her house
>”Come see me before you go, I’ll be downstairs.”
>Without even acknowledging her, you take another dry muffin and prepare to eat it to keep up the act
>It dawns on you as Twilight and her friends discuss the oddities of this little town that you’re currently running two facades simultaneously: one to convince the girls you’re their friend and a second one atop that to keep the town’s suspicion low
>This is going to be difficult
>”Right Josuke?”
>You nearly spit out the muffin at the sudden mention of your name
“Hkkkk agh! Ah, what?”
>The girls look at you with some concern, causing you to mentally reel from the realization that you’ve already picked up on how to read their faces
>Rarity is the one who answers you, in a whisper no louder than a slight breeze, yet somehow still loud enough to sound like a stage whisper
>”Josuke, we’re going to finish these muffins and use that as an excuse to go into the bakery to get more, then we’ll head downstairs to meet with the baker.”
“Alright, let’s eat.”
>Armed with only your decorum and manners, and Pinkie Pie’s apparently invincible stomach, the pair of you begin to chew through each muffin, trying desperately to keep it all down, but after just five more your stomach gives out and you slump onto the table, feigning tiredness from the trip and leaving it up to Pinkie to finish the job
>Though she does so eventually, she’s literally green with sickness and can barely walk straight
>Just what the hell was in those muffins?
>”Well darn! Ah can’t believe the two ‘a ya ate all our muffins! I guess we’d better go git some more!”
>With that delightful piece of acting from Applejack you all slip into the baker’s house and quickly head down the stairs into the basement
>It’s very dim and creepy down here, and your instincts are screaming at you to summon [Killer Queen] and make a quick getaway, but then you remember that YOU CAN’T
>You settle for summoning [I Want It All] onto your left hand and preparing to strike any assailants that might be in the room with you
>Suddenly the baker, a pegasus, and another unicorn emerge from the shadows, too-wide grins on their faces, and you instinctively take a step back towards the girls
>Rainbow Dash assumes a defensive stance, wings flared wide, and you can see Applejack and Twilight doing the same
>Forcing yourself to ignore your ingrained nature for a moment, you also drop into a combat stance, shoulders down, knees bent, Stand hand in front
>Then the baker sighs in relief and dashes up to Twilight
>”Wow, you’ve all got such unique cutie marks! Do you have a cutie mark too, Mr. Josuke?”
>She doesn’t seem threatening, so you relax your stance a bit and answer her question
“No, humans don’t have anything like that. We choose what we’re good at, and sometimes we choose incorrectly, but there’s always a chance to try something new.”
>”Wow, that’s incredible! It must be tough to do something for your whole life and realize you were wrong! With cutie marks we know what we’re good at, and I honestly wouldn’t mind having my special talent back. B-but don’t tell anypony I said that, okay?”
>”Well go get them, then. What’s stopping you all?”
>The other unicorn speaks up
>”Well it seems a bit extreme. Besides, after all the effort Starlight went to with the Staff Of Sameness, it seems like it’d be a slap in the face to just go get mine back. I just can’t.”
>Staff Of Sameness?
>Is there some ancient relic that Starlight nabbed, Indiana Jones style, from an old unicorn temple or something?
>Is that what made all these ponies have the same cutie mark?
>Twilight comes to the same conclusion, because she asks the same question
>”Oh yes, the Staff Of Sameness casts a spell that removes our cutie marks and makes us all equal. No worse than each other, but also no better. We’re all the same…”
>Twilight seems to be seriously horrified by this concept
>”But your cutie mark is what makes you special and unique, and without it your special talent can’t flourish. How could you ever want to live a life without them?”
>The baker speaks up again
>”Oh, we don’t live without them, they’re kept in a vault, where we can visit them every day to remind ourselves of the burden of fate we have been relieved of.”
>A… a cutie mark vault?
>So there’s just butt tattoos floating around somewhere around here for everyone to look at?
>You’re just helping the team out with your next question, certainly not satisfying your own curiosity
“Would it be possible to see this… cutie mark vault?”

>A little while later the group has asked Starlight to show the seven of you to the cutie mark vault, which she is delighted by
>The entire way there she makes a rather Orwellian speech about how “in the future every pony will want to come live in equality with us and will donate their butt marks to the vault” or something, you don’t really pay attention
>As soon as the opportunity comes though, you’re going to relish taking her down a peg, maybe shut her the hell up
>At length the hill you were all hiking up smoothes out, revealing the mouth of a rather large cave
>Cautious, you summon [I Want It All] again and mentally prepare yourself for battle
>Starlight beckons you further in, and from the darkness looms a massive wall with cubical slots carved into it, each covered in glass and hosting a different cutie mark, utterly astounding you with its strange display
>But wait, aren’t the marks just printed on their flanks?
>”By the way, how did the topic of the vault come up?”
>For a split second you think the entire group is going to clam up and force you to tell a baldfaced lie, but Pinkie opens her mouth and that plan goes to hell
>”Well there were a couple ponies who were talking about wanting their cutie marks back and-“
>She’s immediately cut off as Twilight shoves her hoof into Pinkie’s mouth and gives Starlight a sheepish grin
>”…Is that right? Well, if you wanted to know about the vault then perhaps you’d like a firsthand demonstration as to how we fill it.”
>With that, dozens of townsponies creep out from the shadows, forming a tight ring around the whole group to fence you all in, and Starlight takes what you assume is the Staff Of Sameness off of a little pedestal near the back of the vault
>”Now you’ll all be able to experience the wonders of TRUE friendship!”
>With that, she points the staff at the lot of you and charges it with what you assume is her own magical energy
>You make a dash for the nearest pony, trying to barrel through, but you took off too late
>A bright ball of light forms between the ancient scepter’s prongs, and emits a huge beam that covers the entire group, lifting you all into the air and causing all the girls to shriek in agony
>You have no cutie mark, you’ll be fine, you’ll think of a way out of this, just like you always do
>Then the magic tugs a bit on your Stand, and suddenly you can feel [Killer Queen]’s presence
>It’s reaching out from the vault, just beyond your reach
>It’s RIGHT HERE, YOU CAN REACH OUT AND GRASP IT
>FUCK DECORUM
“WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT STARLIGHT? WHERE IS MY STAND?!”
>”What’s a Stand, Josuke? I’m only interested in removing the stain of cutie marks from Equestrian life! And I’m sure that despite lacking one yourself, you’ll no doubt feel better when we let you all rest up in your very own home!”
>A massive smirk splits Starlight’s face as the cutie marks actually peel off of the girls’ flanks, replaced by the same black equal signs the rest of the town bears
>She guides their marks into six waiting vault slots, closing them and putting the staff back
>Then she eases off the spell and lets you all drift down to the ground, and then the events of the past several days finally catch up to you and you pass out, dead to the world

>It feels like [Killer Queen] is about to make your head explode, and the light hitting your eyelids isn’t helping any
>Slowly, very slowly, you roll onto your side, noting how uncomfortable the bed is
>What the hell did you get up to last night? You never drink alcohol, so why can’t you remember-
>”IT’S OKAY IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR CUTIE MARK, NOW WE’RE ALL EQUAL!”
>Oh boy, loudspeakers with more of that stupid unicorn’s dogma
>You’re not in Morioh anymore, in fact you’re not even on the same planet
>Day Two in Equestria, you suppose
>And then, all at once, the memories of yesterday come flooding back to you, along with a rage that threatens to consume every part of your being and a fear that you’ve been found out
>The girls can’t know, they were all suspended in agony at the time, but Starlight will know that there’s more to you than meets the eye, supposing that she doesn’t already know of your Stand’s existence
>Still, for just a second you felt it in there, the pieces of your Stand crying out to be reunited with you once more
>Now all you need to do is get over to the vault again and get it back, get it all back where it belongs and then you can KILL HER JUST RIP HER HEAD OFF AND DETONATE HER CORPSE WHILE YOU LAUGH AS THIS WHOLE DAMNED VILLAGE BURNS TO THE GROUND AND-
>You catch yourself wearing a frightful rictus grin and rein in your emotions
>Freaking out now will most certainly be a bad thing, you need to keep stable until you can figure out what’s happened to [Killer Queen] and retrieve it
>”Hey girls, he’s awake! WOO HOO, I guess.”
>Pinkie alerts the group to your cognizance, and they turn to you with the same dull expressions on their faces while you remain silently grateful that you were facing away from them the whole time
>Something about their demeanor strikes you as particularly bizarre, and their coats seem a little more dull than they did yesterday, but there’s something else going on
>You do know that Pinkie was in the middle of being hyperactive and having fun as she is wont to do, but then she stopped
>Why?
“Is everyone alright? I can’t imagine you’re all feeling good after what happened in the vault.”
>You need to assess the situation and find out what the hell happened so you can piece together a way out and FUCKING KILL Starlight
>”We lost our cutie marks. Now there’s no way of doing what we’re good at, Josuke. Rainbow lacks the enthusiasm to properly fly, Fluttershy can’t understand animals, Pinkie can’t have fun anymore, Rarity can’t tell good fashion from bad, and Applejack is no longer able to make Countryisms! We’ve lost what we all used to excel at, and there’s no way to get it back.”
>There are several excessively strange things about that sentence, but you push those feelings aside to get to  the gist of it, which is that losing their cutie marks apparently makes them literally unable to do what they’re good at
>That is absolutely horrifying and why a species would evolve that way is completely beyond you
>But right now that DOESN’T MATTER, because you’ll be needing their help to get back to the vault, which means you need to keep it together for JUST A LITTLE LONGER and figure out a way out of here to the cutie mark vault so you can investigate that place again
“Have any of you tried to break out?”
>Applejack speaks up, informing you of the futility of kicking down the door and attempting to break the windows, how Fluttershy’s attempt to get a bird to do recon completely failed, and how there are no secret passages in the floor or ceiling that any of you can use to get out
>Even Twilight’s attempt to magically pick the lock failed horribly, since her cutie mark has something to do with her magical ability
>You sigh, not wanting to resort to steamrolling your way through town with your Stand just yet, though it’s certainly a TEMPTING idea
“So what other options do we have? Obviously we can pretend to accept their ideology and see how far that gets us, but could one of you mind control a pony to let us out or something? We need to get back to that vault so you can all retrieve your cutie marks, and so we can give the town their own cutie marks back.”
>Rarity speaks up next
>”Josuke dear, mind-control spells are expressly forbidden as dark magic. And even if I wanted to do such an awful thing to another pony, I lack the natural inclination towards darkness that such spells require.”
>Twilight actually quirks an eyebrow at her friend, interested
>”I didn’t know you knew that much about dark magic, Rarity.”
>”Well it was part of a class I took at my school way back when. ‘Basic Magical Defense,’ it was called. Anyway, even if we were to break out like you’re suggesting, it would do unspeakable things to the poor pony we mind controlled. That’s why it’s outlawed. We’re going to have to put our heads together and try to come up with another way out.”
>”And that’s the tricky part, we’ve already tried everything besides pretending we’re with them! But we’re deep in enemy territory and we need to escape, fast! …But we can’t, since we don’t have our cutie marks.”
“I agree Rainbow Dash, and I think the best course of action is sticking to diplomacy.”
>She groans in despair
“For now we need to operate under the assumption that talking things out with Starlight will allow at least a few of us to walk around here like we’re all part of their cult. From there we ought to be able to sneak into the vault, retrieve your cutie marks, and confront the town about Starlight’s actions using the example of the ponies we all met yesterday.”
>The girls are all deep in thought, considering the ways that your plan could go wrong, and Applejack points out the biggest flaw
>”Well sugarcube, that’s a pretty darn solid plan, ’n I reckon it’d work just fine. The only issue I’m seein’ here is that after the way we acted yesterday only a couple of us would be able to convince Starlight that we’re in her camp, an’ the rest’d have ta stay here ’n wait. Other’n that it’s a good idea.”
>”Yes, now we all just need to find out which of us is most suitable for this job. Much as I hate to say it, I don’t think you’d be a good fit for this Josuke. You were roaring at the top of your lungs at Starlight yesterday, and I doubt she’d be so quick to excuse such behavior. Now Fluttershy on the other hand was perfectly poised and certainly enjoyed our little tour a’ this wretched place, so she could try and find some way to either get back all of our cutie marks or free all of us.”
“…Alright, that’s a good point. Starlight was pretty excited to see the two of us yesterday, wasn’t she Twilight? Of the two of us, you haven’t really done anything negative towards her, and your credentials would probably help to draw a great many ponies towards this town. If that’s what Starlight really wants then she’ll be quick to believe you’ve accepted her dogma and allow you to roam free. The rest of us will wait here.”
>You REALLY don’t want to just sit here and do nothing, but this is the safest course of action that you can think of, so for now you’ll just stew here in your anger and-
>Hang on, a glance around the house shows that there are windows on two of the walls: thin, but just wide enough to allow views of almost everything in the room except the door
“Have any of you seen how many of them are watching us? Is there a constant guard or are they just milling about like usual?”
>Rainbow Dash takes a second to peek out the window and tilts her head in confusion
>”Wait a sec, there’s nopony on the streets! This could be our chance! But wait, we can’t even bust out of here.”
>You grit your teeth in frustration; this could either be a big trap or they could honestly just be taking the day off to wait for you all to accept their ideology, you can’t be sure
>Whether it’s the anger talking or you’re just that stupid, you decide to do something very dangerous, something that could change everything for you
>You stand up
“I’m sorry to change tactics so suddenly, but if they’re giving us this chance, we may as well take it.”
>Twilight glances over from where she’s slumped over on the floor, curious
>”Josuke, we couldn’t bust down the door or windows or even pick the lock, how are we going to take advantage of the situation?”
>[I Want It All] appears around your hand as you move towards the exit
“I’m sorry to say that I’ve been keeping a secret from you all. I… well um, I’m…”
>The girls all turn to you expectantly, uncertainty and apprehension on their faces
>You touch the lock with the tip of your finger and press your thumb down like your Stand did so many times before, hiding the motions with your torso
>The door creaks open just the tiniest bit, and everyone in the room gasps aloud
“Humans are really, really good at lockpicking. I just didn’t want to have to use it here since it’s illegal back on my world. Now we have an escape route.”
>You realize that you’ve relaxed a little from earlier: seems like using your Stand, dinky and useless though it is, helps to relieve your stress
>As quietly as you can, you slide the door shut again and turn to the girls
“If we all run as fast as we can, we might be able to slip around the outside of the village and dash to the vault ahead of the group that will no doubt start chasing us. From there, if we act fast and work together, I can get up to the cutie marks, break open the vault slots, and get them back to you all. Then we can kick Starlight’s as-butt. Kick her butt, can return the cutie marks to the ponies that want them back and drag Starlight to court to be judged. I assume you have a court system here?”
>”Yes, Princess Celestia is very fair to her subjects, even those that commit crimes. She will be the one to judge Starlight when we bring her back.”
>Too bad, you wanted to watch as explosions destroyed her body from the inside out, metamorphosing her into a fine black powder before vanishing entirely
>You’ll have to do as you’ve done for many years and just play along for now
“Alright, step one is complete, now we need to sneak out and make a run for the vault. Are you all ready or do we need to warm up first?”
>The girls all moan a bit at the thought of running in their state, even Dash, but they all take a few minutes to stretch out and prepare their muscles for the upcoming sprint
>You do a few leg and arm stretches as well, since it’s always good to keep healthy and limber and you haven’t really done any stretching for the past couple days
>When you’ve all finished wasting time with your exercises, you stand in front of the door, hand on the handle, with Fluttershy behind you, Applejack and Rarity behind her, Pinkie and Twilight behind them, and Dash heading up the rear
>She wasn’t happy about it, but you told the group that it would help keep them moving quickly
>With a few more cautionary glances out the window, you begin a mental countdown from 10
>As you hit 5 you begin vocalizing the numbers
“Five.”
>Butterflies swarm in your stomach
“Four.”
>Your grip tightens on the handle and you tug on it in preparation for your sprint
“Three.”
>The sound of fluttering wings emanates from behind you. Probably Dash getting antsy
“Two.”
>The oddly realistic snorts from the girls signal their readiness
“One.”
>Thoughts of Starlight drift across your mind, and you grasp onto your rage, using it as motivation
“GO!”
>As fast as you can, you step back and slam the door open
>The girls bolt out of the house like horses out of a gate, and you dash out behind them, sprinting to make up the distance before falling into a hastened jog to keep up with them
>As quickly as you all can, you slip into the alley around the side of the house and begin your mad dash up to the back of the village
>Provided no one saw you all break out, you should have a scant few seconds to get a head start
>Zipping past the backs of the houses, your group races up towards the base of the hill that leads to the vault, and a cry goes up behind you
>”THEY’RE TRYING TO LEAVE! THEY NEED TO UNDERSTAND US! GO GET THEM!”
>Suddenly, several ponies erupt from the alleyways behind you, giving chase and gaining ground quickly
“SPEED UP, THEY’RE GAINING ON US!”
>Everyone increases from a quick jog to a full-on sprint as you try to put some distance between you and the pony you now recognize as Double Diamond
>He’s leading the pack and quite far ahead, almost upon you
>”MISTER JOSUKE, PLEASE! THERE’S NO REASON TO BE ACTING LIKE THIS! IF YOU JUST GIVE IT SOME TIME I’M SURE YOU’LL COME TO LIKE OUR LITTLE VILLAGE!”
>Alright, that is IT
>YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHITHOLE, SHUT THIS BASTARD DOWN
“SHUT THE FUCK UP DOUBLE DIAMOND!”
>You let him close, let his stupid pearly white coat close in on you, and as he comes up on your left, matching your speed, you slam your hand down onto his head and grasp it tight, directing every thought about Jotaro Kujo you’ve had for the past month through his body and down, down…
>Double Diamond’s left hind knee explodes, gushing blood across the dirt and sending him sprawling backwards into the mob
>A few of the lead runners trip over him, slowing the group down a little bit, and you take the time to catch up with the girls, who have passed Starlight’s house and are beginning the run up the hill
>Thoughts of Jotaro’s self-righteous face and disgusting attitude give you a small burst of energy, and with the most annoying pony in the world off your back, you allow yourself a manic grin and hurry towards the girls
“Come on, just a little more!”
The rest of the mob doesn’t quite have the same speed Double Diamond did, and gives you and the girls little trouble as you try to make it up the hill without slowing down
>After about a minute of hard jogging, the seven of you crest the hill and enter the cave mouth before putting on one last burst of speed, sprinting through into the cutie mark vault
>As the girls stand around trying to regain their breath, you search desperately for Twilight’s cutie mark
“THERE! Twilight, lift me up to that slot, do you see it?”
>She follows your finger and her eyes widen as she sees the slots that contain their cutie marks
>”Got it! Ready Josuke!?”
“GO!”
>Twilight’s magic digs into your skin, giving you pins and needles all over your body, but she floats you up to the slots where the marks are stored with little trouble
>Acting quickly and without regard to disguising your Stand, you detonate each glass pane as you come to it, then scoop the marks into your arms, cutting yourself on the broken glass
“Twilight, I’ve got them, bring me down!”
>”Right!”
>She yanks you towards the ground, halting you just before you would’ve crumpled onto the floor, and you rush over to the girls with the cutie marks in your hands
>Like magnets, they fly over to their respective owners before reattaching themselves to their flanks, glowing brightly the whole time
>”We did it Josuke! Now destroy the Staff Of Sameness and we can be done with this problem for good!”
>Destroy it?
>NO! You NEED the Staff!
>Your Stand cried out to you, it was right here! It was-
>As you approach the vault again, you feel something
>[Killer Queen] yowls at you, demanding release from its prison
>You don’t need the Staff after all!
>Quickly, you rush over and break the staff over your knee, exploding it into tiny pieces for good measure
>”Wh- Josuke, how did you-?”
>”And just WHAT do you think you’re doing?”
>Her
>HER
“STARLIGHT!”
>Whirling around, you see not just Starlight, but the entire town gathered at the mouth of the cave
>They’re boxing you in again
>You prime the largest piece of the Staff with a tiny bomb, prepared to throw it at her
>”You broke the Staff Of Sameness! How am I going to bring true friendship to Equestria now!?”
>Then she really takes note of the broken glass, and a look you know quite well spreads across her face
>That’s the look of a well-laid plan going horribly awry
>It suits her more than it suits you, but you can revel in her failure another time
>”And you got back your cutie marks? Why? I was prepared to show Equestria the magic of TRUE friendship, but you didn’t even want to be part of it!”
>”Now listen here, you truly awful mare! It’s nothing to do with friendship if you force it on others! My cutie mark makes me special among all others, and the same is true for my friends as well as for all the ponies who’ve agreed to participate in this horrific experiment!”
>”Rarity’s right! Without cutie marks a pony can’t access their special talent, and by taking that talent away from them you have made them equal, but in the worst possible way! Everypony is equal precisely BECAUSE of their uniqueness; our cutie marks give each of us a special talent, and when we all have something we excel at, THAT’S when we’re all the same!”
>The crowd murmurs among itself, split down the middle by Twilight and Rarity’s speech
>You keep your eyes on Starlight the entire time, unwilling to look away from your foe, when she speaks up
“If you’re really such upstanding ponies who believe in that sort of equality, then why did you break Double Diamond’s kneecap? The poor stallion can barely walk now!”
>Time to drop the pretense and cut in
“That was me, actually. Humans can be very violent when you threaten them, and everything you did to me could be interpreted as a threat.”
>Your voice shakes with the cold fury of a man horribly wronged, and right now you want nothing more than to split Starlight in half and spill her innards all over the stone floor, but you decide to hold back for just a minute longer
“I’m sorry that Double Diamond got hurt, but I thought he was threatening me too. It’s nothing to do with these girls though, they really are upstanding ponies. It’s ponies like you, Starlight, who AREN’T upstanding. You and me, we’re the same. Monsters.”
>”Josuke, don’t sell yerself short! You ain’t a bad guy ‘r anythin’!”
>You ignore Applejack, stalking towards Starlight as menacingly as you can, chunk of the Staff still in your grip
>The crowd parts around you, scared
>”Wh-what are you going to do to me?”
“I’m going to give you an order and ask you a question. The order is to stop playing dumb. The question is what the hell have you done with my Stand? I know it’s here. I can FEEL IT! Now stop lying to me or I’m going to things to you that will make what I did to Double Diamond look like a scratch.”
>Starlight is quiet for a few seconds, shaking with fear
>Then she straightens up, looks you dead in the eyes, and speaks two sentences
>”There’s a switch on the underside of the pedestal where I kept the Staff. Press it if you really want to know.”
>For a second or two, you debate killing her right off the bat, but you turn around and walk towards the vault
>Feeling around on the underside, you locate the switch she told you about and press it
>The slots in the vault all slide open, releasing their contents to the world and returning to their respective owners
>Then the stone at the back of the slots dissolves, revealing what you instinctively recognize as piece after piece of [Killer Queen]
>”But there’s nothing there!”
>THSHHH
>In a bright burst of light, Starlight appears in front of you, and erects some sort of BARRIER
>NO! YOU’RE RIGHT THERE
>JUST REACH OUT AND TAKE IT ALL BACK
>IT’S YOURS, NOT HERS!
>”THIS is what I was really using the cutie mark vault for! It wasn’t easy, but I was able to harness the power of friendship to obtain the power of the soul! A power foreign to Equestria, a power which would elevate me above all others! A power which would allow me to strike down the evils of pony thaumabiology and free our nation from its shackles! Josuke, I stole your Stand to create a better future for Equestria! And look at how happy he is to see you!”
>Starlight reaches up with her magic and pulls down the two uneven halves of [Killer Queen]’s head, which actually seems to look at you for the first time in your life
>It’s pleading with you to not be taken away by this madwoman, and you’re all too happy to acquiesce
“GIVE IT BACK! [I WANT IT ALL]!”
>You fling the broken piece of the Staff Of Sameness at Starlight’s barrier and the bomb goes off on impact, directing its charge into a tiny area the size of a coin
>The entire barrier spiderwebs along that rupture, and you slam your shoulder into it in order to break through
>As you draw close, Starlight throws up another barrier, and you witness the most beautiful thing
>Both halves of [Killer Queen]’s head unite along the break, and the crack between them disappears
>”Oh wonderful, I’d hoped this would happen! Josuke, your proximity is causing your Stand to try to come together! I’ll just take this and-“
>She touches it
>[Killer Queen]’s head glows with the intensity of the sun, and when the light clears it’s gone
“Wh-where is it? WHAT DID YOU DO!?”
>”Hmhm, It’s a part of me now, Josuke. Observe.”
>You look on in absolute horror as your Stand’s head manifests behind Starlight, looking just as emotionless as it ever does
>Starlight begins floating more pieces down towards herself, and they begin to fly towards her, but you break through the second barrier and she teleports away, leaving the pieces where they are
>”No no, you have some sort of close-range power, I can see it on your hand and I’ve been able to see it this whole time. I’m not letting you near me.”
>Suddenly she freezes in place, magic dropping the pieces of your Stand around the room
>”I’ve got her Josuke, knock her out!”
>Twilight’s holding her still!
>Now’s your chance for revenge!
>You launch yourself across the room handfirst at Starlight, fully intent on killing her
>There’s another bright flash and you screw your eyes shut to keep out the light, but you feel your palm latch onto something
>FINALLY
>DO IT, FUCKING DETONATE HER
>MAKE HER PAY FOR WHAT SHE’S DONE
>IT’S HER FAULT YOU’RE STUCK IN THIS SHIT WORLD
>KILL HER AND RECLAIM WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS
“[I WANT IT ALL]!”
>THOOOOOOMM
>There’s a massive explosion, enough to shake the whole cave, and when the dust clears and your ears stop ringing, there’s only a single bloodied scrap of white fur left
>You didn’t get her, what the fuck!?
>Who the hell did you kill, Double Diamond?
>”WHAT THE FUCK!? YOU SHOULDN’T BE THAT STRONG! HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!?”
“COME HERE AND I’LL SHOW YOU!”
>You turn again, heading for the other side of the cave, when Starlight’s horn lights up and she gathers the pieces of your Stand around her
>”That’s right, come get me! If you get too close these shards will gravitate towards the piece I have and make me stronger! There’s nothing you can do!”
>You ignore her advice and continue your headlong charge, raising your hand as you do so
>”N-no! NO!”
>As you close the gap, fingers centimeters away from Starlight’s face, something you didn’t expect begins to happen
>You stop, suspended in midair, as does she
>Then the pieces of your Stand start to glow, and little arcs of electricity jump between them as they begin to rise into the air
>The arcs get larger and more numerous as more and more of [Killer Queen] is added to the reaction, being drawn in by some invisible force
>As the flashes of lightning get stronger, Twilight finally calls out to you
>”Josuke, are you alright!? What’s happening? Why are you floating!? What was that explosion earlier!?”
>You can’t move, can’t even respond. All you can do is stew in your own hatred, face-to-face with your new greatest enemy
>The electrical sensation in the room reaches a fever pitch, each individual piece glowing with power, and then it explodes
>Every fragment of your Stand whirls around the room, seeking escape from the confines of the vault, which it finds by flying outside at Mach 2
>Pinkie follows the shards outside
>”Josuke, what the heck was that!? There was-“
>Starlight’s horn is starting to glow
>No no no no nON O NO NO NO NO NO!
>She’s going to get away!
>”DAMN YOU, KIRA! I’LL BE BACK, COUNT ON IT!”
>As the two of you begin to float downwards, Starlight blinks out of existence and you flop onto the floor, exhausted
“STARLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”
>You SLAM your fists onto the ground OVER AND OVER because there’s NO way you’ll be able to find all of those pieces by yourself and FUCKING STARLIGHT RUINED EVERYTHING and there’s no way BACK to your old peaceful life in Morioh and you JUST WANTED A FUCKING QUIET LIFE-
>”Josuke! Are you alright? What the hay is going on!? What was the thing Starlight was talking about, your stand?”
>You don’t answer her, trying to deal with your own problems while you lie down on the ground, though you notice that the crowd has left the cave so there’s just the seven of you here
“Give… give me a second, Twilight.”
>Taking just a minute, you catch your breath, physically exhausted from the battle and emotionally exhausted from the second loss of your Stand
>You stand up and begin shuffling towards the girls
“I’ll explain everything to you on the way back. For now, let’s just get to the train.”
>As you walk past the group and out of the mouth of the cave, you silently swear another vow, a vow of vengeance and pain, of Hell or high water, of chases and death
>You swear to yourself to find all the fragmented pieces of [Killer Queen], whatever it takes, however long it takes, and wherever it takes you, reunite them, and use that power to finally kill Starlight Glimmer, over and over and over, for as long as it pleases you
>Yoshikage Kira will have his revenge