Hikari Outline (20200609)

Hikari | ひかる
Outline
Written by Julie Paschal

Fears to explore:

•Volume #1: Realistic depiction of discovering that one is transgender, bisexually attracted to men, and transitioning.
•What if it's just a fetish?
•What if I don't look how I want when I transition?
•What if family/friends don't accept me?
•What if I lose my job? The job I never wanted in the first place?
•What if I'm unable to transition due to illness?
•What if financial costs are too high?
•Presenting in public.
•Restroom.
•Fear of murder/rape.
•Small, normally inconsequential things, are important to Hikar* because they typically have nothing else in their life to fight for.
•How falling in love can completely override one’s attraction.

•Volume #2: a wish fulfillment story where Hikari becomes a cis woman and a magical girl (ala Pretty Cure, Madoka Magica). Also a mystery and thriller as Hikari and Dan investigate how people are turning into different genders. Hikari and Dan’s romance continues.
•Volume #2: The prologue is from the point-of-view of a whistleblower as they try to escape from Kusaka Telecommunications’ headquarters to reveal what is going on. They’ve turned into a girl and are now running from the security.
•Dan’s father leads a telecommunications company that uses modified 5G waves to turn transgender women into cis women. This becomes clear only later on after some investigation, at first Hikari and Dan think it’s specifically changing people assigned male at birth, including cisgender men.

Episode #1: “Hikaru”
•The clicking and clacking of fingers on a keyboard muddle through the room. Itou Hikaru, hunched over his desk, scritches and scratches as he tries to comb through his stacks of paperwork. Kusaka-senpai, his team lead, drops off another stack. Salty sweat drips from brow to eye on the heartbroken face of the twenty-two year old before he returns to checking and signing papers.
•Opening:
•It’s closing time now. As Hikaru finishes up paperwork his co-workers ask him if he wants to go out drinking with them but as usual Hikaru turns them down. One co-worker mocks Hikaru for being an Otaku and tells the others that Itou is probably going to go straight home to masturbate to some Lolita character. The group snickers as they walk off but Hikaru just lowers his head. On his way out of the office Hikaru spots Kusaka-senpai, also wrapping up for the night. Hikaru speeds on past his senpai so as to not get Kusaka-senpai’s attention.
•Title Card:
•A Part: Hikaru returns home to his messy apartment, full of packing for his anime merchandise and his collection in general. Shuffling his way through his own personal paradise, Hikaru reaches his computer and begins disrobing from his sweat-drenched work wear. Hikaru boots up his computer and begins playing Dragon Land X as his cute female avatar ‘Hikari’, a mage he uses mostly to be a healslut. Hikaru joins a makeshift party with a few other players he’s played with before so as to help conquer the tough new dungeon that has been added. The party soon arrives at the boss battle and Hikaru must eventually heal a knight named Dan. Hikari suggests using ice magic to slowly lock the dragon’s joints up so as not to be noticed. After the raid ends successfully, Dan thanks Hikari and the two begin to strike up a conversation. The more Dan praises Hikari the more Hikaru realizes that Dan thinks that he is a girl in real life. Hikaru runs from the conversation and begins sweating profusely in real life. He’s been confused for a girl before in the game but it’s only been from creeps wanting nudes.  This is the first time a man has actually tried to charm him!
•B Part: The next day at work, Hikaru tries to piece together the previous night’s events. Before Hikaru was only ever attracted to women but with Dan there’s something very powerful about the way he acts. He’s sharp and responsible in mind and spirit but kindness isn’t sacrificed. As opposed to being under the anxiety-inducing watch of Kusaka-senpai it’s quite the welcomed change. That night Hikaru approaches Dan as Hikari again and apologizes for bailing, explaining that [s]he’s not used to such charming men. Dan apologizes for not considering how women are typically treated in online games but was just so impressed by her knowledge of the game’s deep, real-world based gameplay and how to use it to defeat the dragon. The two continue their conversation at a pub and talk all-night, laughing at each other’s stories.
•Ending:
•When the two inevitably need to log-off Hikaru finds his heart-pounding in real life. “Could I be in love?!”

Episode #2: “Dan”
•The next morning, Hikaru finds that his female co-workers just aren’t doing it for him anymore. There’s nothing exciting, nothing to get his heart-pounding! Typically he could feel attraction to them and admire their figures and sense of fashion but now that sexual attraction component seems to be completely overridden by his thoughts for Dan. The sound of Kusaka-senpai dropping another load of paperwork on his desk snaps Hikaru from his daydreaming only for him to then be berated by his senior for not working.
•Opening:
•After jeering looks from his co-workers, a fed-up Hikaru yells at Kusaka with uncharacteristic backbone and leaves the office for the day, fed up with the sour workaholic—especially after a night of being treated so well by Dan. Images of Dan treating Hikari like a lady and an equal flash at rapid speeds through Hikaru’s mind. Kusaka-senpai, heavy bags under his eyes, looks concerned at the wake of his rude behavior and returns to his desk in shame.
•Title Card:
•A Part: Immediately after returning home Hikaru lets out a huge sigh as the tension finally releases from his muscles. Worried that he might not have a job anymore Hikaru immerses himself back into Dragon Land X. A few hours later Dan logs on and Hikari happily meets him at a romantic lake during sunset. Noticing that Dan is down Hikari asks him what is bothering him. Dan admits that his real life has been really stressful lately as he tries to work towards a big promotion for his parent’s sake. Dan explains that he comes from a prestigious family and as the youngest child he has a lot to live up to so he joined a big company in hopes of becoming a top executive one day. “Then I can find a woman and settle down and have kids!” Hikari casts her eyes down as she hears this but feels almost instantly guilty for wishing that Dan would instead talk about marrying her. Deciding to focus on being a good friend, Hikari admits that she knows what it’s like working for a big company. The paperwork never ends and you’re expected to fulfill all of these roles as a man and a worker that she just isn’t interested in living. Hearing the slip-up Dan turns back to Hikari and asks her to repeat herself. Realizing that she outted herself as a man in the real world, Hikari begins to panic: “I-I didn’t know what to do! You just assumed I was a girl and the way you treated me was so nice!” With tears in his eyes Dan runs away leaving Hikari to weep by the lake.
•B Part: Hikaru returns to work the next day—bags under his eyes due to not sleeping—and apologizes to everyone profusely for having to take on his workload yesterday. Lunch eventually rolls around and Hikaru is surprised that Kusaka-senpai hasn’t stopped by to chew into him again. The one time he saw him earlier he looked rather dejected as he softly laid a fresh—albeit smaller than normal—stack of paperwork on Hikaru’s desk. With the tension of not knowing his standing consuming him, Hikaru finds Kusaka-senpai sitting alone at lunch still working on paperwork. Hikaru apologizes for his outburst yesterday rather profusely but Kusaka tells him not to worry with a bow, “I’ve been pushing this whole team irresponsibly for my own sake. You did the right thing.” Noticing for the first time the dejected, tortured look behind Kusaka-senpai’s glasses Hikaru sits down and begins to help Kusaka with the extra paperwork he took upon himself. Kusaka asks Hikaru not to tire himself for his sake but Hikaru won’t have it. “If you really want to make it up to me then buy me something good to eat after work!” Hikaru’s cheeky grin restores warmth to Kusaka’s eyes that Hikaru finds familiar but not from Kusaka-senpai. Conversely, Kusaka can only think to himself “That smile…it’s just like…”
•Ending:
•After work Kusaka treats Hikaru to a bite at a maid café in Akihabara. Hikaru is surprised to learn that Kusaka is an Otaku just like him and the two hit it off instantly. As the hours roll by laughs and tears are shared as both office workers unwind from their stressful lives elsewhere. The maid café eventually closes and the two men take a stroll through Akihabara to unwind. Eventually Hikaru and Kusaka arrive at a twenty-four hour arcade and enter on Hikaru’s insistence. The duo plays an assortment of games before happening upon a dance machine. Slightly drunk as they are both men inevitably bump into one another as they fight their way through the dance steps giggling like idiots. Finally, Hikaru slips and falls into Kusaka’s arms. Wanting to forget about his failure with Dan, Hikaru reaches up and kisses the surprisingly handsome Kusaka on the lips.

Episode #3: “Hikari”
•Kusaka takes Hikaru back to his place where they make passionate love. Uncomfortable with the idea of topping, Hikaru shifts mid-sex to signal to his partner that he wants to bottom. After Kusaka-senpai blows his load into his ass Hikaru slips into a peaceful sleep, the best he’s had in years.
•Opening:
•Hikaru dreams of his life with Dan, meeting him in the real world and falling madly in love with him. The dream life progresses through multiple scenarios and in each one Hikaru becomes increasingly like Hikari. Whether it’s when she goes to the figure store, Comic Market, Lawson, clothes shopping or even just walking on the street, Hikari is seen by others as a girl. Hikaru sees himself as Hikari in a gorgeous wedding gown while accepting Dan’s hand in marriage, a child already showing through her gown. Warmth and happiness fill Hikari until the horrifying sound of a common phone alarm wakes her up.
•Title Card:
•A Part: Hikaru finds himself in bed with Kusaka the morning after their passionate night of sex. Finding his chest and stomach uncomfortably flat Hikaru wipes the tears from his eyes and turns to face his partner. Getting a look at Kusaka-senpai without his glasses for the first time Hikaru is shocked to find that Kusaka-senpai looks exactly like Dan! Shocked, Hikaru falls out of bed with a thud that awakens his senior. Kusaka awakens and realizes that he had sex with Itou last night. Clearly panicking, Kusaka hurriedly dresses so as to make it to work on time. Hikaru reveals that he is Hikari from Dragon Land X, shocking Kusaka. Hikaru’s pleas for a talk fall on deft ears as Kusaka runs out of the door. Hikaru cries alone as he remembers Dan’s words about wanting a family of his own. Inadequacy and grief—as if someone had just died—fill Hikaru’s heart. That night Hikari is disheartened to find that Sir Dan does not log on to Dragon Land X. Returning to work the next day, Hikaru is tortured to find Kusaka Dan ignoring and avoiding him. “I don’t know what I was expecting,” Hikaru muses to himself as he tries to get through paperwork. The day eventually comes to a close and Hikaru watches as the team dwindles down until it’s just him and Kusaka-senpai.
•B Part: Alone at last, Hikaru approaches Kusaka who is hastily gathering his things. Hikaru speaks first, apologizes to Dan for reasons he isn’t even sure of. Dan won’t look at Hikaru, simply asking him to leave. Hikaru doesn’t want to, feeling a powerful drag on his heart whenever Dan refers to them as ‘Itou-kun’. “Please, call me Hika—” It occurs to Hikaru that they doesn’t want to be called ‘Hikaru’, they wants to be called ‘Hikari-san’, like Sir Dan always called them. The stark contrast of just how happy Hikaru is in Dragon Land X versus the real world finally nails home for Hikaru what he’s been feeling all his life. “Dan-senpai…I think I’m a girl.” Dan snaps, “A girl?” While Dan’s voice carries anger his face tells only of his deep struggle as he tries to understand the two truths before him. Hikaru replies docilely, “I never really knew why I hated ‘being a man’ so much. Until I met you I only ever wanted to be left alone.” Turning so as to not show the tears welling from his eyes, Dan takes his things and makes toward the exit without reply. “I think I love you, Sir Dan.” Back still turned, Dan stops. “I can’t…be in a relationship with you, Hika…Hikari-san.” (Note: Yes, Dan sees Hikari as a girl, even if he’s in shock) Dan exits the bullpen, leaving Hikari to cry to herself. Later that night, Hikari rides the train home looking lifeless, not even listening to the music playing from her phone. Once at home, after resting on her bed, Hikari hops onto her computer and begins researching “wanting to be a girl”, coming across the term ‘transgender’. Reading all night, Hikari eventually realizes that she is transgender ‘MtF’ and that there are thousands out there like her. Seeing pictures or videos about trans peoples’ transitions, Hikari begins to wonder if she can do that, too.
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Episode #4: “Kusaka-senpai”
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Episode #5: “Hikari & Dan”
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Episode #6: “”
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Episode #7: “”
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Later On:

Kusaka asks Hikaru if he’s okay but Itou-kun can only ask what Kusaka-senpai’s given name is. “Oh, you don’t remember? Well, I guess you haven’t heard it since you first joined the company. I’m Kusaka Dan.” Horror drowns Hikaru alive as he realizes that he just had sex with the man of his dreams whose heart he broke two days earlier. Terrified that he’s going to break Dan-kun’s heart a second time Hikaru begins weeping in his spot.
Dan crawls off of his bed and embraces Itou-kun, “I didn’t know I was capable of being this way with a man, either, Itou-ku—Hikaru-kun. Hush now, it’s alright.” The calming, masculine demeanor of the man embracing them truly hits it home for Itou: this man really is Dan but what Itou wants isn’t to be his boyfriend…it’s to be his girlfriend. With everything now clicking a lifetime of misery finally makes sense: Hikari is her true self; she is a transgender woman. Hikari dresses and helps Dan make breakfast. Dan thanks ‘Hikaru’ for really relieving his spirit yesterday. Unable to bear the burden of lying to Dan again ‘Hikaru’ comes out of the closet as the player Hikari. Dan is shocked but begins to cry when he realizes that he actually got to be with the woman he loves last night. “I don’t care if you’re a man, Hikaru-kun, I love you!!” ‘Hikaru’ begins to weep tears of joy and embraces Dan-kun. “Me too, Dan-senpai! I love you, too!” the lovers return to Dan’s bedroom for more lovemaking and cuddling. After the lovers orgasm Itou snuggles up under the larger, more muscular frame of Dan-senpai. Eyes shut and her eyes pressed against his chest, Hikari listens to the active beating of Dan-senpai’s heart. Eyes still closed, Hikari admits to Dan that she wishes that she could bare his children, not just because it would help with his family relations but because Dan has made her truly feel like the person she is meant to be. The couple shares a cry as they snuggle together even more passionately than before. Sometime later Hikari—presenting fem—attends her first gender counseling session, Dan bidding her farewell in the office’s waiting room.