Monmusu Rpg Session One: Awawawawa

[21:47] <@Illcushion> "Serious, groundbreaking biological studies of monster girl history only seem to come along once every generation or so".
[21:48] <@Illcushion> The researcher explains to his superior. "This, is the start of a generation: a human-made monster girl".
[21:49] <@Illcushion> Outside the building, miles away in a quaint barn occupied by a farmer's sheep girls, a tremor is heard. Then... the roof of the barn explodes, as a giant figure's head is spotted.
[21:51] <@Illcushion> The sheep girls all run away in confusion and fear, into a strifeless village. Panic sets in. "Are we under siege!?", thinks the village's chief.
[21:52] <@Illcushion> Then, he notices a giant rock formation in the shape of a woman moving in towards them. "Guards! Call up every able man into the quarters!". So the guards do.
[21:52] <@Illcushion> Gathered up are 4 men and a young ranger. Confused, they look at each other while the guards explain the situation.
[21:52] <@Illcushion> "If you don't take down this giant, our village will crumble to dust!".
[21:53] <@Illcushion> (Feel free to do actions now)
[21:53] * Albin_ looks around to find a good vantage point
[21:53] <Mack_Swain> So fellows, I think now would be an excellent time to leave
[21:54] <vanilla> It'd be an offense to my pride as a man to leave now
[21:54] * Erwin clenches his fist dramatically. "Alright friends! Keep behind me and I'll take down this creature with a single strike!"
[21:54] <Mack_Swain> Your pride won't mean much if you're a pancake on the road. I would advise a retreat
[21:55] * vanilla draws my old iron sword from my scabbard
[21:55] <Roy> I'm not much of a fighter. Retreat's fine with me
[21:55] * Mack_Swain sighs
[21:55] <Mack_Swain> lets see what bolts and swords can do to solid rock, then.
[21:55] <vanilla> Do none of you have experience in combat?
[21:55] * Mack_Swain unholsters a bizzare crossbow
[21:56] <Mack_Swain> not outside of target practice
[21:56] <Albin_> Does shooting small and big game animals count?
[21:56] <vanilla> Better than nothin' I guess
[21:56] * Mack_Swain takes bolts out of his bag and begins loading them into his crossbow
[21:56] <@Illcushion> The guard quickly notices the gang's plan. "Hey, wait, you can't kill this thing. It's made out of solid rock!" He motions over to a crate in the back of the room.
[21:57] <Erwin> "Hand to hand combat is my speciality! I can break down any wall with my fists alone." Erwin beams at his new best friends.
[21:57] <Mack_Swain> Thank you, can you all listen to the nice man and we can get the hell out of here?
[21:57] * vanilla Goes to investigate the crate
[21:57] * Mack_Swain follows
[21:57] <@Illcushion> "In there are a bunch of magical weapons. They can seal monsters into... well, smaller versions of themselves." He sighs. "Every guard that's able is carrying a magical sword or club."
[21:58] <Mack_Swain> "any bolts?
[21:58] <Albin_> Do they have any bows or arrows with that?
[21:58] <@Illcushion> "Unfortunately, we weren't able to find sealing arrows or projectiles, at all." He chuckles to himself, "wish we could seal monsters with throwing rocks, though."
[21:58] * vanilla Takes a sword from the crate and feels it's weight in my hands
[21:59] <Mack_Swain> "I have never wielded melee weapons before"
[21:59] <Albin_> "Better than nothing. I'll help myself to some daggers."
[21:59] <vanilla> This'll have to do, I won't back down yet.
[21:59] <Mack_Swain> "I guess I could distract it"
[21:59] <vanilla> Feel free
[22:00] <Mack_Swain> "How did I get mixed in with you hotheads? I can't believe you want to attack a massive rock woman thing with swords and clubs!"
[22:00] * Albin_ takes 3 daggers, puts two behind his belt, one into the inventory, as a spare.
[22:00] <Erwin> "Distraction you say? Distraction is my middle name!"
[22:00] * Roy takes a short sword
[22:00] <vanilla> I'll retreat if I'm sure I'll die.
[22:00] <@Illcushion> The guard scratches his head. "Good, then. One thing you should know... it seems impervious to traditional attacks, but its thick rock skin could be blown up with explosives."
[22:00] <Roy> I guess fighting can't be helped
[22:00] * Mack_Swain takes two daggers
[22:00] <vanilla> Anyone have those?
[22:01] <Mack_Swain> Explosives? Now you're speaking my language. Tell me good man, where are this town's explosives reserves?
[22:01] <Albin_> "Wait, guards, do you have any stick explosives?"
[22:01] <Albin_> "I think i have an idea."
[22:01] <@Illcushion> The guard opens the door. "The shopkeepers have been evacuated, but we're sure you could find some sticks of dynamite for the near coal mine."
[22:01] * Erwin attempts to climb the nearest building to get a higher vantage point.
[22:01] <Mack_Swain> "have you actually handled explosives before?
[22:01] <Erwin> +3 athletics
[22:02] <@Illcushion> Succeeded.
[22:02] <vanilla> I'm no good at long range so I'll take to attacking the giant if we can weaken it.
[22:02] <Mack_Swain> "Please, I beg you, leave the explosives to me, otherwise you will lose your hand, or your life".
[22:02] <vanilla> So, what do you see up there kid?
[22:02] * Mack_Swain starts taking dynamite
[22:03] <Albin_> "I am not saying that i will be doing this."
[22:03] <@Illcushion> It appears the golem girl is around half a mile away from the party's location.
[22:04] <Mack_Swain> "Does this town house any heavy seige equipment?"
[22:04] <@Illcushion> "Er... no", says the guard. "We've only been involved in one war, and it involved supplying food and armor."
[22:04] <vanilla> I'll charge it with this sword if I hafta.
[22:04] <Mack_Swain> "Damn"
[22:04] <Mack_Swain> "How about crossbows? surely you have those."
[22:05] * Albin_ investigates for strings (+1)
[22:05] <vanilla> So our plan is to blow off it's skin and seal it?
[22:05] <@Illcushion> No strings here!
[22:05] <Mack_Swain> There are strings in the dynamite
[22:05] <@Illcushion> "Yes, that should be obvious. Why is he looking over there, though?"
[22:05] <Mack_Swain> Why do you need them?
[22:05] * Erwin points a finger towards the giant stone bitch. "Alright rock face! It's time for you to face the one true hero of this town! The Earth purifying knight of destiny, Hero Erwin!" Erwin waits for the applause and praise that is soon to follow his speech.
[22:05] <Albin_> "They're too good to be used."
[22:06] <Erwin> +5 intimidation to get the attention of the rock slut.
[22:06] <Erwin> spent 1 fate point
[22:06] <Erwin> on the speech aspect
[22:06] <Mack_Swain> Erwin that thing is a half mile off. It can't hear you. please be quiet."
[22:06] <vanilla> That's some gusto kid! I'm impressed.
[22:06] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl seems to be in a waking daze. She probably didn't even hear you!
[22:06] <vanilla> Hey, let's get her while she's waking!
[22:06] <Mack_Swain> "Gaurd! It's getting closer, I need your crossbows!"
[22:07] * Erwin is certain that she is dazed with fear.
[22:07] * Mack_Swain is becoming panicked
[22:07] <@Illcushion> "Ah, yes! Over there!", the guard points at the armory.
[22:07] * Albin_ walks back into the town square, tries to climb a rooftop (+3 athletics roll)
[22:07] * Mack_Swain rushes towards the armory, dynamite in hand
[22:07] <vanilla> Don't worry about getting hurt Swain, I'll be the one getting close to it.
[22:08] * vanilla begins moving towards the giant with the sealing weapon in hand.
[22:08] <@Illcushion> Albin succeeds and spots the Golem Girl looking straight at him.
[22:08] <@Illcushion> (Roll for resolve, bud)
[22:08] * Albin_ rolls, (0)
[22:09] <@Illcushion> Albin almost falls down from the shock of seeing the girl staring straight at him, but doesn't. Phew!
[22:09] * Erwin climbs down from his roof position and chases after Albin who will surely need his help. Darn kids.
[22:09] <Albin_> "Ok, now. For what i came here for"
[22:10] * Mack_Swain begins fascining dynamite to crossbow bolts (+3 academics, used aspect)
[22:10] <@Illcushion> I'll allow that because this is going to be great.
[22:10] * Albin_ rolls for investigation, tries to spot any weak spots in the Golems stone skin (+3)
[22:10] * vanilla maneuvers closer to giant, ready to charge from my cover when needed and attack.
[22:10] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl closes in, one step at a time, destroying residences as she goes.
[22:11] <vanilla> God damn it, that was Lenny's house!
[22:11] <@Illcushion> Albin can see a big crack on her leg. Maybe she fell down at some point?
[22:11] * Mack_Swain emerges, with several dynamite-bolts and a simple crossbow
[22:11] <Albin_> "GUYS! HER LEG IS DAMAGED!"
[22:11] <Mack_Swain> "alright , before you morons go out to hit it, let me give it a go with these"
[22:12] <Mack_Swain> "Damn it, too late
[22:12] <Mack_Swain> I'll aim for her leg then
[22:12] * Mack_Swain loads a lopsided jury-rigged bolt into the crossbow and gets onto the wall
[22:13] * vanilla steels myself to charge.
[22:13] <Mack_Swain> "somebody hand me a torch!
[22:13] * Albin_ investigates for a torch or something around such (+2)
[22:14] <Mack_Swain> "a LIT torch, preferably!"
[22:14] <Albin_> "Well no shit!"
[22:14] <@Illcushion> No torches around, but there's a candle!
[22:14] <Mack_Swain> "good enough! somebody keep vanilla from getting himself blown up please! and hand me the candle!"
[22:15] * Albin_ grabs the torch and tries to get down from the roof (+1 athletics)
[22:15] <@Illcushion> Albin falls down on his ass, though the candle!!! is still lit!
[22:16] <Mack_Swain> "Fine, I'll get it myself damnit!"
[22:16] <Albin_> "Ow"
[22:16] * Albin_ hands over the candle
[22:16] * Mack_Swain runs with all speed towards Albin
[22:16] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl steps in front of the building Vanilla is hiding near, though she does not notice him!
[22:16] * Mack_Swain wheels around and dashes back to the wall
[22:16] * vanilla dodges out of the explosions predicted radius
[22:16] <Mack_Swain> "Wait, where the hell is vanilla?"
[22:16] * Erwin replaces Albin on the roof he just left (+2) sure that his plan involving a shitty rope will not get him killed.
[22:17] <Mack_Swain> "Here goes nothing!"
[22:17] * Mack_Swain Lights the stick of dynamite, takes aim with the crossbow, and fires at the golem girl's damaged leg (+5 roll)
[22:19] * vanilla starts my charge at the golem girl's leg (+1 roll)
[22:19] <@Illcushion> The dynamite explodes right on target! The Golem Girl's craggy skin cracks further, exposing mud-like blood.
[22:19] * Mack_Swain checks to see if he notices vanilla (+0 roll)
[22:20] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl stumbles, but remains on her feet! She does not notice Vanilla charging at her, still stuck in a daze.
[22:20] * Albin_ sees the possibility to throw his life away, or do something useful, and stealthily approaches the Golem Girl (+3 roll)
[22:20] * vanilla charges at the golem's leg and prepares to swing my weapon with all my might at her leg! (+4)
[22:21] <@Illcushion> Albin's not seen by the Golem Girl! Is she blind or something, holy shit!
[22:21] * Erwin prepares his rope as the Golem Girl nears. It's time for some rock climbing son. (+1) for when she's close enough.
[22:21] * Mack_Swain loads another bolt, but does not light it
[22:22] <@Illcushion> Vanilla's blade bounces harmlessly off the Golem Girl's exposed crack. Roll for Athletics to get out of the way!
[22:22] <vanilla> (-1)
[22:23] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl kicks Vanilla out of the way and into a wall! He's now DOWNED. Someone could probably go help his ass out!
[22:23] <Mack_Swain> "damn it you morons! get out of there!"
[22:23] * Roy runs from wherever the hell he was to vanilla
[22:23] * Albin_ rolls for athletics to sprint to Vanilla (+3)
[22:24] <Roy> Holy shit, are you alright?
[22:24] <vanilla> f-fuck sorry
[22:24] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl notices everyone scrambling together and grabs a nearby building's wall, preparing to throw it.
[22:24] * Mack_Swain yells at the top of his lungs "GET OUT OF THERE YOU IDIOTS!"
[22:24] <Albin_> "Guys, i think we might wanna get the hell out of here."
[22:25] <@Illcushion> Roll for Athletics (+1 or more passes)
[22:25] * vanilla tries to scramble into a safer location
[22:25] <vanilla> (+2)
[22:25] * Albin_ athletics son (+2)
[22:25] <Roy> (-2)
[22:25] <@Illcushion> Vanilla takes a penalty to his athletics due to just recently being thrown across! Though he still manages to scramble out just in time.
[22:25] * Erwin raises an eyebrow at the golems actions. "Well at least she's not trying to make out with you!"
[22:26] <@Illcushion> Roy, on the other hand, gets a face full of rubble! He's also DOWNED under a PILE OF RUBBLE.
[22:26] <vanilla> Swain fire at the golem's arms now!
[22:26] <Mack_Swain> "Fuck it!"
[22:26] <Albin_> "This is going to be a long day."
[22:26] <vanilla> Jesus christ
[22:26] * Mack_Swain lights the dynamite bolt, and fires at the golem head (+2 roll)
[22:26] * vanilla moves to get roy while the golem is being fired upon
[22:27] <vanilla> (+1)
[22:27] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl brushes off the crossbow bolt! The dynamite's fuse times out and does not explode.
[22:28] <Mack_Swain> "Well damn."
[22:28] * Mack_Swain loads another bolt
[22:28] * Mack_Swain loads another bolt
[22:28] <@Illcushion> Vanilla can't get Roy from under the pile of rubble at all!
[22:28] * Mack_Swain lights the dynamite and fires at the golem girl's bad leg again. (-1 roll)
[22:29] <@Illcushion> The bolt misses entirely!!!
[22:29] * vanilla draws form all my might to pull him from the rubble (+3)
[22:29] <@Illcushion> Vanilla's able to drag Roy's body out from under the rubble! Crisis averted, though he seems to be completely fucked up.
[22:30] * Mack_Swain loads his final dynamite bolt into the crossbow
[22:30] <Roy> Ah f-..sorry
[22:30] * Mack_Swain Fires at the golem girl's leg (+3 roll)
[22:30] <vanilla> It's fine, I gotcha.
[22:31] * vanilla drags Roy behind a corner where he can't be seen by the golem.
[22:31] * Erwin puts his glorious plan into action now that the Golem is closer. (+1 to get a good snag on the golem for climbing purposes.)
[22:31] <Mack_Swain> "Wait Erwin, the dynamite!"
[22:31] <Roy> Knew I should'a stayed hidden
[22:31] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl takes a severe hit! She stumbles and holds onto the building Erwin is on!
[22:31] <Erwin> SCRATCH THAT
[22:31] <Erwin> ARM RUNNING TIME
[22:32] * Erwin takes this oppertunity to scramble up her arm!
[22:32] * Albin_ takes out one of his dagger and makes his way to the cracked leg, trying to stuff the dagger in the exposed part (athletics +4 cuz muh fate points)
[22:32] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl desperately tries to shake Erwin off, struggling! He manages to hold on, however.
[22:33] * vanilla attempts to collect myself and get ready to attack again. (+2)
[22:33] <@Illcushion> Albin stabs the Golem Girl in her exposed area, causing her to fall down on the floor with Erwin still on her!
[22:34] <Erwin> "Haha! Now time to do something that'll clearly win the ba-OH GOD."
[22:34] <Albin_> "Oh, hello, i didn't know you were up there."
[22:36] * Albin_ takes out another dagger, jams it in (+1 might)
[22:37] <@Illcushion> The Golem Girl lets out a bellowing cry! She's completely DOWNED now and probably can't get up. Probably.
[22:37] <Mack_Swain> "Did we win?"
[22:37] * vanilla attempts to charge again at the golem and thrust my sword into her exposed flesh (+4)
[22:38] * Erwin scampers up to her head striking a dramatic pose. "Alright now for the final blow! I uh...can't think of a one liner so I'm just going to punch you." +1 fists rest in piece
[22:38] <Albin_> "Not really, these weapons are supposed to sea- WOW, WHAT ARE YOU..."
[22:39] * Albin_ is startled due to the sudden attack
[22:39] <@Illcushion> Erwin punches the rock and his hand hurts. What a stupid idiot.
[22:39] <Erwin> "Tch! What a powerful foe!"
[22:39] <@Illcushion> Vanilla effortlessly jams his blade into the Golem Girl! She slowly turns into a rock.
[22:39] <Mack_Swain> "Is everybody this stupid in the country side? or am I particularly blessed?"
[22:39] <Albin_> "So... It's done, right?"
[22:39] * vanilla keeps on hitting the rock for good measure (+1)
[22:40] <vanilla> Die beast!
[22:40] <Albin_> "HEY, STOP, SHE'S SEALED ALREADY!"
[22:40] * Mack_Swain starts walking down the wall towards the monster
[22:40] <vanilla> Geez, alright, alright.
[22:40] <@Illcushion> "Holy shit... Holy shit, they actually did it!" is heard coming from behind some buildings. Guards, women, children and the elderly swarm into the destruction, lifting Erwin and chanting "Hero! Hero!".
[22:40] * Albin_ picks up the daggers and stuffs them back behind his belt
[22:40] <Mack_Swain> "Hey, I hate to be a party pooper, but there's still an unexploded dynamite around here ,and we have NO IDEA what the fuck that was."
[22:41] <Erwin> "Hahahaha! Yes! Don't forget my faithful sidekicks!"
[22:41] * Mack_Swain mutters something about damned magic
[22:41] * Albin_ scratches his head in confusion
[22:41] <vanilla> It couldn't do any more damage than this golem did. It's of no concern right now.
[22:41] <@Illcushion> The crowd keeps chanting, ignoring Mack entirely while dragging Erwin into the town hall.
[22:41] <vanilla> Also how's Roy doing?
[22:41] <Mack_Swain> "didn't he die?"
[22:42] <Mack_Swain> "I lost track."
[22:42] <vanilla> Nah, I pulled him outta that rubble.
[22:42] <vanilla> He's probably alive.
[22:42] * Roy moans from the allly or wherever
[22:42] <Albin_> "I think he's here."
[22:42] * vanilla goes to pick up Roy
[22:42] <Mack_Swain> "somebody please help that poor bastard out"
[22:42] <Roy> So, is it over? Hard to keep track after a roof fell on me
[22:42] <vanilla> Anybody got first aid skills around here?!
[22:43] <Albin_> "Can you guys pick him up? I know a thing or two about herbs."
[22:43] <vanilla> He's already in my arms.
[22:43] <Mack_Swain> I always bring extra first aid
[22:43] <@Illcushion> A guard approaches the group standing around Roy. "You people, come with me."
[22:43] * Mack_Swain takes out medical supplies from his unuusally large rucksack
[22:43] * vanilla places Roy on some flat ground
[22:43] <Albin_> "Sir, we need to tend to our companion first."
[22:44] <Mack_Swain> "Hey guard, you gonna tell us what the fuck we just saved you from?"
[22:44] <@Illcushion> "I... have no idea. But I believe our eldest knows, if you will just follow me after you're done with your friend."
[22:44] <@Illcushion> He stands with his back to the wall, whistling.
[22:44] <vanilla> We'll follow you after we tend to Roy who got fucked up by that massive beast.
[22:44] * Mack_Swain waits by the guard
[22:44] * vanilla mutters, "Damn that whistling pisses me off for some reason."
[22:45] <Albin_> "Do you have anything for internal bleeding? That might not be the case, but we'd better be safe than sorry."
[22:45] * Mack_Swain mutters "I don't think he can tell if he has internal bleeding."
[22:46] * Albin_ rolls for Alertness (+2) to hear that.
[22:46] <@Illcushion> Didn't hear nothin'!
[22:46] <@Illcushion> The guard sighs and starts chewing some tobacco, offering a piece to Mack.
[22:46] <Albin_> "Well anyway."
[22:47] * vanilla sits down in a relaxed pose on some rubble while waiting for Roy to get tended to.
[22:47] <Mack_Swain> "no thanks, Don't like that stuff."
[22:47] <Albin_> "Hey, Roy, are you awake?"
[22:47] <vanilla> Hey, I'll take that tobacco!
[22:47] <Roy> Sorry guys. I tod you I wasn't a fighter
[22:47] * Mack_Swain mutters "Is this guy serious?"
[22:47] <@Illcushion> "Here." He hands a stick of the Good Stuff to Vanilla.
[22:47] <Albin_> "Can you tell us where it hurts?"
[22:47] <vanilla> Thanks mate.
[22:48] <Mack_Swain> "Albin are you even a doctor?"
[22:48] * vanilla savors the tobacco
[22:48] <Roy> Does all over count?
[22:48] <Albin_> I'm a ranger, i know about basic first aid.
[22:48] <Mack_Swain> "surely this town has a doctor. drop him off there and lets stop wasting time."
[22:48] <@Illcushion> The guard chuckles. "I'm sure being a ranger involves curing people whose houses just fell on them."
[22:48] <Albin_> "Well, any areas in particular."
[22:49] * Albin_ turns to the guard
[22:49] <Albin_> "Sir, if you're not going to help, then please do not interfere."
[22:49] <vanilla> Why should we trust these god damn townsmen who couldn't even take out their own golem?
[22:49] * Albin_ turns back to Roy
[22:49] <Roy> Guys, I think I'll be fine
[22:49] <Albin_> "Are you sure?"
[22:49] <vanilla> Just the let the ranger do what he does, alright?
[22:49] <Mack_Swain> "Hey vanilla. I took down the golem. And you need to shut your mouth."
[22:49] <Roy> I just got it knocked out of me is all
[22:49] <Mack_Swain> "Please."
[22:50] <Roy> Just help me up.
[22:50] <@Illcushion> The guard puts on a stern face. "See, the boy knows best. It's his body. Now let's go, the chief wants to talk to you."
[22:50] <vanilla> You fired sticks at it from a distance like a pansy.
[22:50] <vanilla> Not that I don't appreciate it.
[22:50] <Albin_> "Look, Roy, if that's what you want, i'll help you."
[22:50] * Mack_Swain I used my brain. You stabbed rocks with rusted swords and daggars"
[22:50] <Roy> Yeah, I'll be fine
[22:50] <Albin_> ./me offers a hand
[22:51] <vanilla> Well mate, where would be now if I hadn't stabbed that rusted sword into it?
[22:51] * Roy takes Albin's hand and shakily raises himself up
[22:51] * Mack_Swain mutters something unsavory to himself
[22:52] * vanilla rolls for alertness to hear that (+4)
[22:52] <Albin_> "Ok, Roy, now don't rush it. Do you need a cane or something?"
[22:52] <@Illcushion> Vanilla TOTALLY hears that.
[22:52] <@Illcushion> "Save the fighting for later and follow me." The guard makes a beeline for the village chief's house, where Erwin is waiting along with an impatient old man.
[22:52] * Mack_Swain muttered something about idiots with pointed sticks taking all the credit
[22:52] <Roy> Nah, I'm fine, I swear
[22:52] * Erwin has the biggest grin in the fucking world.
[22:53] <Albin_> "Please let us know if you'll need anything."
[22:53] <Mack_Swain> "The hell are you smiling about golden boy"
[22:53] <vanilla> Ey mate I don't appreciate that. The only idiot flinging sticks around here is you with your dumb crossbow.
[22:53] <Mack_Swain> "Lets get out of here
[22:53] <vanilla> Had a fun time kid?
[22:53] * Mack_Swain follows the guard off.
[22:53] <@Illcushion> "Here they are, chief. The boy was tending to the guy with all the dolls. The one with the limp." The guard turns around and leaves the house.
[22:54] * Mack_Swain nods towards the chief
[22:54] * Albin_ takes off his cap in presence of an authority figure
[22:54] * vanilla follows the guard
[22:54] * Roy follows the others
[22:54] <@Illcushion> The old man hastily shakes everyone's hands while bowing. "Heroes! Heroes, you saved our village."
[22:55] <Mack_Swain> "So, what was that thing back there? some magic bullshit I have no doubt."
[22:55] <@Illcushion> "Yes... yes, yes, I know that must've been hard to believe, let alone fight and destroy! But please, sit down. Have some sesame cake."
[22:55] <vanilla> I'd like some explanations as well. I didn't risk my life to stab that thing without knowing what the hell is going on 'round here!
[22:56] * vanilla helps myself to the cakes
[22:56] <Mack_Swain> "and why was it a giant woman? That's not efficiant at all."
[22:56] <Mack_Swain> "No thanks, I don't like cake."
[22:56] <@Illcushion> "Alright... okay, okay. A bunch of people... no, no, it was one person, came in one day and asked us if she could borrow a fallen farmer's barn."
[22:57] * Albin_ takes a bit of a cake, listening closely to the grown-ups talking
[22:57] <@Illcushion> "Then..." he stops. "Then she made a bunch of sheep girls move in, for some reason? And never bothered us again! That was... five, no, SIX years ago!"
[22:57] <Mack_Swain> "sheep girls"? you mean half sheep half girls?
[22:58] <vanilla> So some guy with a thing for sheep girls did this?
[22:58] <Albin_> "Have you never been to a countryside? They're more common than people there."
[22:58] * Mack_Swain glances around
[22:58] <Erwin> "Hahaha yes! Sheep girls are great! You can just talk to them for hours about whatever you want." Erwin chuckles.
[22:58] <@Illcushion> "Ahhhh... our great hero's helper is a tourist. That explains the... well, inaccuracy." He grimaces. "You really tore up our streets!"
[22:58] <Mack_Swain> "You're welcome by the way.
[22:59] <Mack_Swain> "wait, these sheep things can TALK?"
[22:59] * Mack_Swain looms at Erwin
[22:59] * vanilla mumbles something 'bout ignorant cityfolk.
[23:00] * Mack_Swain Rolls alertness to hear that (+1)
[23:00] <@Illcushion> Didn't pass! Boo hoo!
[23:00] <Albin_> "They're more like people than monsters, in that matter."
[23:00] * Erwin nods. "Sure can! We can go talk to some right now if you're that curious."
[23:00] <Mack_Swain> "I didn't come this far to talk to a goddamn sheep."
[23:01] <@Illcushion> The old man looks around in confusion. "Ah... ah, heroes! Please! We can save trivial matters such as how the world works and how blue the sky is later!".
[23:01] <Roy> Listen, enough about the sheep. That thing. That was some sort of golem, right?
[23:01] <Mack_Swain> Yes, please continue"
[23:02] <@Illcushion> "Yes...! Yes it was a golem! A particularly big golem, in fact. Her type does not appear in any history books as being taller than a scarecrow!" He motions over to his personal library.
[23:02] <vanilla> That's the point. Why the hell is there such a massive golem terrorizing this town?
[23:03] <Mack_Swain> "I hate golems more than anything else in the world. Abominations created by inept wizards taking jobs from honest folk and rampaging around because their magic backfired."
[23:03] * Mack_Swain continues ranting under his breath
[23:03] <Erwin> "Clearly there's a great evil at work here! An evil that we have to track down."
[23:03] <@Illcushion> "We... we don't know why she rampaged! The mysterious person who acquired the barn didn't say anything about this kind of thing ever happening." He shakes his head. "Why would anyone attack such a peaceful trading village...?"
[23:03] <Roy> Listen, can you tell us anymore about the person who kept the barn?
[23:04] <vanilla> Maybe they just wanted to test their golem somewhere nobody would give a shit about. No offence.
[23:04] <Albin_> "Excuse me, mr. Village Elder sir, but where was the barn? If the Golem Girl was coming from that direction, that might be our lead."
[23:04] <Erwin> "This sounds like...a quest!"
[23:04] <vanilla> Hey that's some good thinking kid!
[23:04] <Albin_> "Tha-thank you."
[23:04] <Erwin> "Yes! As expected of my sidekick."
[23:04] <@Illcushion> "Um... she was... I mean he was... wait, no, it was a woman. She had a long robe like a wizard's. No hat, though. And long hair." The chief takes out a map of the region and marks the location of the barn.
[23:04] <Mack_Swain> "What is this sidekick crap?"
[23:05] <Mack_Swain> "Wizards...
[23:05] <Mack_Swain> Always the damned wizards..."
[23:05] <Erwin> "A woman in potential danger? We should leave right away!"
[23:05] <vanilla> I was under the impression you were somethin' like that this whole time Swain?
[23:05] <vanilla> If you aren't a wizard the hell are ya then?
[23:06] <Albin_> "So, we have a wizard, a barn in a secluded place and powerful magic at work. Who's for checking it out?"
[23:06] <Mack_Swain> "Do you know what an "engineer' is?"
[23:06] <vanilla> A fancy gizmo maker for watches.
[23:06] <Mack_Swain> "country bumpkins might not be familiar with them"
[23:06] <vanilla> I'm all for checking it out.
[23:06] <Mack_Swain> "Magic is unreliable and unpredictable. Engineers do things that magic can't be trusted to do."
[23:07] <Mack_Swain> "We pave roads, build gates, and weapons, like this"
[23:07] * Mack_Swain unholsters his strange, large crossbow
[23:07] <Mack_Swain> "My fathers greatest invention"
[23:07] <Erwin> "And so our quest begins." Erwin takes a peek at the map and starts to depart torwards the barn. "On the trail we blaze!"
[23:08] <vanilla> That's pretty nifty mate, but magic ain't so bad. It can be mighty interesting when it ain't destroying towns.
[23:08] <Albin_> "Hey, hey, guys."
[23:08] <Albin_> "Slow down."
[23:08] <Albin_> "We have a long journey ahead of us, and a hurt person."
[23:08] <@Illcushion> The chief interrupts the heroes. "Please! Be careful! And... if you want, I'll give each and every one of you the chance to stock up for free! If it weren't for you, there'd be nothing here, after all." He grimaces. "I'll deal with the merchants later..."
[23:09] <Mack_Swain> "I have enough supplies for all of you. I guess I should tag along so none of you all get killed."
[23:09] <vanilla> So we're all agreed to check this out then?
[23:09] <Roy> Yeah, sure
[23:09] <Mack_Swain> "Thank you, chief. I will gladly resupply."
[23:09] <Mack_Swain> "I suppose we should check it out."
[23:09] * Erwin waves to whoever he passes during his walk through the village.
[23:09] <Albin_> "Thank you sir, this will be a great aid for our quest."
[23:09] <vanilla> I'll take some rations and a sharpening of this old sword.
[23:10] * vanilla pulls out old iron sword
[23:10] <Mack_Swain> I think you can do better than that vanilla.
[23:10] <Mack_Swain> There'
[23:10] <Mack_Swain> There's a whole armory
[23:10] <@Illcushion> The village women swoon at the sight of Erwin, throwing kisses at him as he walks.
[23:10] <vanilla> This sword is mighty important to me. A heirloom of my pa just like that bow of yours.
[23:11] <@Illcushion> The village elders give single approving nods. All of them.
[23:11] <Mack_Swain> "But my CROSSbow is actually dangerous. That thing looks like it will snap any second."
[23:11] <Roy> It seems you're quite popular here, Erwin
[23:11] <Albin_> "Eh, grownups and their problems."
[23:11] <vanilla> It hasn't snapped on me in all the years I've used it and I'll keep on 'till it does.
[23:12] * Mack_Swain heads off to stock up.
[23:12] <@Illcushion> The chief notices Vanilla's heirloom. "Oh! That... that looks very dull. The blacksmith's out, he was going to the coal mine and never came back. Since then, no one wants to get in there."
[23:12] <@Illcushion> He leans in closer. "Maybe you can... do something about that?"
[23:12] <vanilla> They gotta have a pedal grindstone at least right?
[23:12] <vanilla> Ah, I see what you're gettin' at.
[23:13] * Albin_ packs up some dried meat, water, rope, sturdy fabric, several healing herbs and stocks up on arrows for his bow"
[23:13] <vanilla> Alright mate I might try checking it out if I can.
[23:13] * Mack_Swain packs twice as much as he should
[23:13] <Roy> Say, village chief, I've been meaning to ask, but is there a carpentry shop around here?
[23:13] <@Illcushion> "Great! Big hero's helper is still a hero! Go now, please." He shooshes Vanilla out of the house and closes the door.
[23:14] * Mack_Swain shouts back "Roy, are you an architect?"
[23:14] <@Illcushion> "Carpentry... no, not really. But I believe the general store should have something. Ask there, perhaps?" He motions over to the door.
[23:14] * vanilla mumbles, "Ya'd figure country folk'd be more hospitable."
[23:14] <Roy> Ah, no, I'm not an architect.
[23:14] <Mack_Swain> "why do you seek a carpenter then?"
[23:14] * vanilla goes to sharpen my blade at the smiths on the stone if they've got it.
[23:15] <@Illcushion> The blacksmith's house is locked! Shucks, pardner.
[23:15] <Roy> Well, you see, I was looking to see if I could find some more of these
[23:15] * Roy Roy pulls out a marrionette that looks like a fairy
[23:15] * vanilla thinks "It wouldn't be that bad to just bust the door open, I'm sure that the golem coulda leveled the place without me"
[23:16] <Roy> or matterials to make more, at least
[23:16] <Mack_Swain> I could make you some pal. I'm handy with a carving knife.
[23:16] * vanilla uses my strength to kick the door open (+2)
[23:16] <Mack_Swain> Maybe after we've sorted out this barn busines.
[23:16] * Erwin whistles to himself as he continues his walk.
[23:16] <@Illcushion> The door stays locked! And a guard eyes Vanilla suspiciously before asking "Hey, what are you doing?".
[23:16] <Mack_Swain> "You've got to be kidding me"
[23:16] <vanilla> Got some dog shit on my shoe sir
[23:17] <@Illcushion> Roll for Deceit.
[23:17] <vanilla> (+1)
[23:17] <@Illcushion> The Guard does not buy that shit for a second. "If you're going to stop a Golem from breaking havoc just so you can steal from people's houses... I'll have your head on a pike."
[23:18] <Mack_Swain> "Look vanilla. forget it."
[23:18] <Mack_Swain> "Let's just get over to the barn."
[23:18] <vanilla> Sorry mate, the village elder told me to check out the blacksmith going missing and all. I'm just trying to help.
[23:18] <@Illcushion> The guard shrugs. "He's not missing in his own house, you dolt. He went to investigate the Coal Mines and never came back."
[23:19] * Albin_ takes a stick and draws in the muddy road out of boredom (art +3)
[23:19] * vanilla "My apologies. Alright Swain I'll head with you to barn."
[23:19] <@Illcushion> A small child goes WOW at Albin's art.
[23:19] <Mack_Swain> "Hey kid, That's not half bad. Should have been a painter rather than a vagabond."
[23:20] <vanilla> That's a fine drawing there lackluster as the canvas is.
[23:20] <Roy> Guess I'll follow you guys to the barn, as well.
[23:20] <@Illcushion> (We ready to go?)
[23:21] <vanilla> By the way, you saw that ordeal with the guard right. Some blacksmith's gone missin' and the elder asked me to head into the coal mine and find him. Anyone of you all interested?
[23:21] <Mack_Swain> "After the barn sure.
[23:21] <Mack_Swain> Got nuthin better do do."
[23:22] <vanilla> A'ight, fine with me.
[23:22] <Albin_> "Let's head out guys."
[23:23] <Mack_Swain> "Look here. Barn's up this way"
[23:23] * Mack_Swain pulls out a map
[23:23] <vanilla> The hell is that cheeky lil kid Erwin at by the way?
[23:23] <Mack_Swain> I don't know but he's pissing me off.
[23:24] <vanilla> God damn it lets all yell for him like we're his fans.
[23:24] <vanilla> I'll bet he'll come runnin'
[23:24] * Albin_ investigates for Ervin (+1)
[23:24] <Mack_Swain> "I have a little dignity left so no thanks"
[23:24] <@Illcushion> Elwin's not inside the mailbox, Albin!
[23:24] <Mack_Swain> "Smashes face into his palm"
[23:25] * vanilla yells "Erwin I'm your biggest fan? Can you autograph my breasts?!" in a girlish voice (+2)
[23:25] * Mack_Swain stares at vanilla uncomfortably
[23:25] * Albin_ giggles
[23:25] * Roy stifles a laugh
[23:25] <vanilla> Hey I was just kiddin' a'ight!
[23:25] <Erwin> -3 alertness
[23:25] <Erwin> haha deaf!!
[23:26] <@Illcushion> A little kid runs up to Erwin. "Big hero! Those strange people you were with are calling for you!". The kid points in the general direction of the group.
[23:26] <Mack_Swain> "Get your smug behind over here golden boy"
[23:27] * Erwin takes his position at the front of the group. "Alrighty then! Away we go but in a group this time!"
[23:28] <vanilla> Hey kid you know what we're doing right? Going to the barn and then going into a spooky mine to find a blacksmith. I'll bet you'll get a great chance to be a hero.
[23:28] <Mack_Swain> "Off we go then."
[23:29] * vanilla moves towards barn.
[23:29] <Erwin> AND SO THEY WENT
[23:29] <@Illcushion> On the way to the barn, the group runs into a fairly thick forest. Folliage makes it impossible to tell how big it is.
[23:29] * Roy follows along
[23:29] <@Illcushion> Actions.
[23:29] <Mack_Swain> Map says it's through here
[23:29] <Mack_Swain> "let's make it quick. never liked forests."
[23:30] <vanilla> Hey ranger make sure we don't get lost.
[23:30] <Albin_> "Sure"
[23:30] <vanilla> That's the kinda thing you're in charge of.
[23:30] <Mack_Swain> "How is somebody so young a ranger again?
[23:30] <Albin_> "Through practice since he was 6."
[23:30] <Albin_> "Now please let me concentrate"
[23:30] * vanilla continues moving through the forest, hacking plants with my sword if need be
[23:31] <Erwin> "We'll be fine friends!" Erwin moves forwards.
[23:31] * Roy checks the surrounding area as they walk (-2)
[23:31] * Mack_Swain unholsters his crossbow
[23:31] <@Illcushion> There's some plants, you think!
[23:31] <@Illcushion> Alertness rolls, everyone!
[23:31] * Albin_ uses alertness to scan surroundings (+5)
[23:31] <Mack_Swain> (+1)
[23:31] <Erwin> +3
[23:31] <vanilla> (+2)
[23:31] <Roy> -1
[23:32] <@Illcushion> Albin notices a strange spiderweb on a tree.
[23:32] * Albin_ motions to the group
[23:32] <Mack_Swain> "The hell is that"
[23:32] <Albin_> "Guys, stop.
[23:33] <Roy> What is it?
[23:33] * Mack_Swain Shifts nervously
[23:33] * vanilla racks my knowledge to see if I recognize that kinda monstergirl (+1)
[23:33] <Albin_> "This is not a regular web."
[23:33] <Albin_> "I think it might be a monster."
[23:33] <Mack_Swain> "you mean a spider?"
[23:33] <Mack_Swain> "can we just walk around?"
[23:33] <vanilla> There's monstrous spiders you know.
[23:33] <Albin_> "Something in between."
[23:33] <@Illcushion> Is it the Recluse Albino Spider Girl or the Queen Spider's pattern? Vanilla can't tell.
[23:34] <Mack_Swain> "Guys. How about we NOT stand right here.
[23:34] <Erwin> "Oh please! We have the advantage in numbers so no  monsters would dare attack us." Erwin SCOFFS and moves on.
[23:34] <vanilla> Hey this ain't good. Maybe we should reroute?
[23:34] <Mack_Swain> "like, let's leave."
[23:34] <Albin_> "ERWIN STOP."
[23:34] <@Illcushion> Erwin, roll for athletics.
[23:34] <vanilla> Hey kid that's a mistake!
[23:34] <@Illcushion> You fucked up, son.
[23:34] <Erwin> exactly 0!!!
[23:35] <Mack_Swain> "What the hell erwin you dumb son of a-
[23:35] <@Illcushion> A giant spider pounces Erwin, laughing as she drops down on him!
[23:35] <Mack_Swain> "w-"
[23:35] <Mack_Swain> "what in the mother hell is that?"
[23:35] * Albin_ aims the bow
[23:35] <Roy> Holy hell
[23:35] <@Illcushion> "Hahaha... caught something other than a fly tonight~!" she says with a grin.
[23:35] * vanilla attempts to react quickly and slash the spider before it can pin Erwin (+2)
[23:35] <Albin_> "HEY!"
[23:36] <@Illcushion> Vanilla's sword bounces off the spider's chitinous legs!
[23:36] <Mack_Swain> "What the fuck IS that...?!"
[23:36] <Erwin> "You don't suppose we can talk about this?" Erwin tries to sparkle smile his way out of the situation.
[23:36] <vanilla> Hey spider there's a whole caravan of shotas that way!
[23:36] <Erwin> +4 fucking rapport
[23:36] * vanilla points left
[23:37] <@Illcushion> "Ara ara... what's your name, little boy?", she snarks to Erwin, ignoring everyone else.
[23:37] <vanilla> There ain't shit we can do at this point
[23:37] <Mack_Swain> "I.. uh.."
[23:37] <vanilla> Dumb kid.
[23:37] <Mack_Swain> "Fuckit."
[23:37] <Erwin> "I'm Erwin! I'm a hero just so you know."
[23:38] <vanilla> I ain't just gonna leave him here but if she starts to eat him we better split
[23:38] * Mack_Swain cranks the lever to arm his crossbow in a whirring clatter
[23:38] <Erwin> "I just saved a nearby village infact! You might have seen the golem attacking it."
[23:38] * Mack_Swain takes aim at the spider girl
[23:38] <vanilla> Hey wait till the kid's done talking
[23:38] <Mack_Swain> "no, fuck that."
[23:38] <vanilla> Monstergirls can talk you know.
[23:38] <Mack_Swain> "HEY. DROP THE MORON."
[23:39] <@Illcushion> "Ooooooooooooh! A hero...!", her face darkens. "I LOVE those!" She licks her lips while spinning some of her web around Erwin's legs. She's focusing on Erwin alone!
[23:39] <Erwin> "Diplomacy has failed!"
[23:39] <Mack_Swain> "Eat this!"
[23:39] <vanilla> Fuck I'll hafta get ready to fight too.
[23:39] * vanilla gets ready to stab my sword into an exposed joint
[23:40] * Mack_Swain discharges 4 bolts in rapid succesion at the spider girl's abdomen (+0)
[23:40] * Albin_ rolls for archery to shoot an arrow in her shoulder (+4, cuz fate points are being spent right now)
[23:41] <@Illcushion> Mack's shots manage to get the Spider's attention, but don't inflict any noticeable damage whatsoever!
[23:41] <@Illcushion> Albin's arrow, on the other hand, stick to a fleshy part of her. She looks pained, but not very hurt at all.
[23:41] <Mack_Swain> "Ain't done yet! You oversized bug!"
[23:42] <Albin_> "LEAVE HIM ALONE!"
[23:42] * Mack_Swain discharges another 6 bolts in rapid succession (+4)
[23:42] * Mack_Swain 's crossbow has jammed!
[23:42] <Mack_Swain> "Shit!"
[23:42] * Erwin totally knew this would happen.
[23:42] <@Illcushion> Wow hold on, something just came up. I'll continue this exciting cliffhanger in 5 minutes.
[23:43] * Vanilla_ ([email protected]) has joined #monmusurpg
[23:44] * Vanilla_ "Test statement"
[23:44] <Mack_Swain> hi
[23:44] * Vanilla_ "Shoot Swain!"
[23:44] <Vanilla_> I'm ready to attack!
[23:45] * vanilla ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout )
[23:48] * Vanilla_ another test for connection
[23:49] <Roy> (since we have this pause right now, anyone know why I still can't get in the group chat?)
[23:49] <Mack_Swain> (no idea
[23:49] <Mack_Swain> (all you are missing is shitposting though)
[23:49] <Vanilla_> (I've got no idea want one of us to try inviting you?)
[23:49] <Roy> (yeah.)
[23:49] <Vanilla_> (alright you'll need to add as a friend first for that I think or wait for gm to try)
[23:50] <@Illcushion> (I'm backsies)
[23:50] <Roy> (wtf it still won't let me)
[23:50] <Roy> (even with the invite)
[23:51] <Erwin> (eh it's not important)
[23:51] <Roy> (okay, I just don't want to miss anything important)
[23:52] <Vanilla_> (we're just saying casual things in there nothing really important)
[23:53] <@Illcushion> Mack's crossbow fire hits her human body, sticking to her! She moans in pain and frees Erwin, though his legs are lightly tied up!
[23:53] <Mack_Swain> "somebody grab him! It's jammed!"
[23:53] * Roy attempts to grab Erwin (+1)
[23:53] * Vanilla_ I charge at the spidergirl and attempt to ram my sword into an exposed joint! (+4)
[23:54] <@Illcushion> Roy succeeds! It's just some web, come on.
[23:54] * Erwin tears away the web! +4! thanks dice!
[23:54] <Roy> Alright! Let's move it!
[23:54] * Mack_Swain attempts to un-jam his crossbow (+0)
[23:54] <@Illcushion> Vanilla's attack is parried by the Spider Girl's chitinous legs!
[23:55] <@Illcushion> Mack's crossbow is still jammed. Try harder!
[23:55] * Vanilla_ I help out Swain by trying to remove it for him with my exceptional might (+2)
[23:55] <Mack_Swain> "No you idiot! you will break it!
[23:55] <@Illcushion> The crossbow's still jammed!
[23:55] <Vanilla_> I'll be careful. I know how much an heirloom means to somebody!
[23:56] <Vanilla_> You can pull it and I'll try to parry her advances if you'd like.
[23:56] * Vanilla_ focuses on using my sword to deflect her legs. (+3)
[23:56] <Erwin> "Alright! It's to for me to finish the fight in  one blow once again!" Erwin goes in for a SWEET uppercut. +3
[23:56] * Mack_Swain attempts to unjam the crossbow again! (+1)
[23:57] * Roy attacks the spider with that short sword he suddenly remembered he picked up (-2)
[23:57] <@Illcushion> The spider girl parries Erwin and Roy's blows with her legs!
[23:57] * Albin_ aims at the more exposed parts of the Spider Girl (0 archery)
[23:57] <Vanilla_> Keep at it until we get his crossbow free! Then we've gotta split!
[23:58] <Mack_Swain> "We can leave now if we have to!  I can unjam it later!"
[23:58] <@Illcushion> She stands around in a menacing stance. "You've made me mad now!", she boasts as she raises her spider legs over Vanilla.
[23:58] * Roy looks around for a rock or something to throw (+0)
[23:58] * Mack_Swain attempts to unjam his crossbow once more (+3, used a fate point)
[23:59] <@Illcushion> Her legs crash down upon Vanilla's block and take him to the ground with almighty force!
[23:59] * Albin_ aims again (+3 archery)
[23:59] * Vanilla_ I stick my sword up so it'll pierce her underbelly if she tried to pounce on me while thrusting it in. (+3)

[00:00] <@Illcushion> Mack's crossbow is no longer jammed! Phew!
[00:00] * Mack_Swain slides the feeding mechanism into place franticly
[00:01] * Mack_Swain furiously turns the crank, unloading the rest of the magazine into the spider at close range! (+2, burned another fate point)
[00:01] <Erwin> "You should at least ask before you decide to pounce on a man! No wonder you don't have a boyfriend." Erwin bounces around like a fucking idiot trying to keep the spiders attention on him +4 intimidate! if only that was combat!
[00:02] <@Illcushion> Albin and Mack's shots come upon the Spider Girl at the same time! Albin's hits a soft part of her flesh, Mack's hit her chitin, doing no damage!
[00:02] * Vanilla_ I attempt to stab into her underside and into her vitals before she can incapacitate me  (+3 and I'll use a fate point)
[00:03] * Mack_Swain drops the crossbow on the ground and produces a dagger
[00:04] <@Illcushion> Vanilla's stabbing force is lessened by the fact that he's pinned to the ground! Her soft underside endures the blow.
[00:04] * Mack_Swain lunges at the spider and attempts to stab it in it's human half. (-2)
[00:04] * Albin_ shoots again (+2)
[00:04] <@Illcushion> Vanilla, roll for any sort of defense you think would help you against a chitinous stabby leg.
[00:04] <Mack_Swain> "AAAAAAAAH!"
[00:04] <@Illcushion> Weapons, Endurance, Athletics. Any of 'em.
[00:04] * Vanilla_ attempts to use his might to push his way out from under her (+4)
[00:05] * Vanilla_ attempts to reflect the stabby leg with my sword (+4)
[00:07] * Roy attempts to attack the spider from the side (-2 holy fuck I'm so shit)
[00:07] <@Illcushion> The Spider Girl's leg crashes down on Vanilla's chest, but his sword blocks it! Close one!
[00:08] <@Illcushion> Albin's arrow bounces off of the Spider Girl's chitin! No sell!
[00:08] * Vanilla_ now I attempt to use my might to get out from under her while he leg is misplaced by my parry (+2)
[00:08] <@Illcushion> Both Roy and Mack's attacks are deflected without even looking!
[00:08] <Mack_Swain> "Son of a bitch"
[00:08] * Erwin gets a small run up and goes for a sure-win shoulder barge! +3 fists!
[00:09] <Mack_Swain> Mack tosses the dagger aside and attempts to grapple as well (+2 fists)
[00:09] <@Illcushion> The Spider Girl endures all the attacks! (Holy shit you guys are FUCKED!)
[00:10] * Albin_ shoots even fucking again, because what the fuck else can i do (+5 with a fate point)
[00:10] <@Illcushion> The Spider Girl goes down on Vanilla. "Ara ara... you can't escape, boy..." she says, as her underbelly drops down on him.
[00:10] <Mack_Swain> "ANYBODY HAVE ANY MATCHES?!"
[00:10] <Mack_Swain> "GOT ONE STICK LEFT IN MY BAG"
[00:11] * Vanilla_ "Is she trying to eat me or something?" I attempt to stab my sword into whatever orifice she's trying to pull me into. (+3 and I'll try another fate point)
[00:11] <@Illcushion> Albin's arrow hits her in the arm! She quickly rises up and pulls it out. "Who did that!?" she yells out, looking around for the perpetrator.
[00:12] <@Illcushion> Vanilla's sword is useless from this position!
[00:12] * Albin_ thinks to himself "Why the fuck am i doing this?"
[00:12] * Mack_Swain searched in his bag for a match (+1)
[00:12] <Albin_> "HERE, YOU UGLY INSECT!"
[00:12] <Erwin> "Too dangerous! Just keep hitting her!" Erwin pulls back for another punch that will surely work. +2!
[00:12] <@Illcushion> Oh look well wouldn't Mack know it, there's a match in there.
[00:13] * Mack_Swain lights the match on a rock
[00:13] <@Illcushion> Mack! Survival roll for that.
[00:13] <Mack_Swain> Come on
[00:13] <@Illcushion> Yes, come on.
[00:13] <Mack_Swain> rolled +3
[00:13] <@Illcushion> Difficulty of 2, so there, you passed. It's on fire!
[00:13] * Mack_Swain lights the dynamite
[00:13] <@Illcushion> The Spider Girl's chitin completely withstand Erwin's attacks. He's kind of useless.
[00:14] * Erwin is sure he's helping.
[00:14] <Vanilla_> "Hey maybe I can stick that dynamite inside her!"
[00:14] <Erwin> "Don't say it out loud she's right there!"
[00:14] <Erwin> "He's totally joking about that Miss Spider."
[00:14] <Vanilla_> Gahahahaha! Nope if you swallow me it'll be with dynamite too!
[00:14] * Mack_Swain attempts to position himself beside vanilla under the spider (Athletics +5, burned ANOTHER fucking fate point)
[00:14] <@Illcushion> The spider girl hears this. "Oh! Oh no! No no no no no!" She skitters away from the lit explosive.
[00:15] <@Illcushion> YOU WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SORTA!!!!!!!!!!
[00:15] <Mack_Swain> "SUCK ON THIS"
[00:15] <Erwin> "We have the fear advantage! Hooray! Lit explosives that are still near me!" Erwin gets the fuck outta death range.
[00:15] * Mack_Swain hurls the explosive towards the spider girl (+1)
[00:16] <@Illcushion> The explosive doesn't reach her at all, she's too fast! But you did just fuck up her web. Good job, Mack!
[00:16] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah, you better run you sunnovabitch!"
[00:16] * Vanilla_ tries standing up.
[00:16] <Erwin> "Bye bye!" Erwin waves.
[00:16] <Albin_> "Guys, you know what would be the best thing to do right now? Getting out of there before more monster girls show up."
[00:17] * Roy helps vanilla up
[00:17] <Vanilla_> I agree, let's split
[00:17] <Mack_Swain> "what the kid says
[00:17] <Erwin> "Great idea!"
[00:17] <Erwin> And so they went!
[00:17] <Mack_Swain> "lets leave. now. please."
[00:17] <Roy> yeah
[00:17] <Vanilla_> Jesus fucking christ almighty.
[00:17] <Albin_> "We were walking that way, let's go!"
[00:17] <@Illcushion> Everyone gets a free faith point from not dying! HOORAY FOR NOT DEATH!!!!!
[00:17] <Vanilla_> Alright well i'ma trust you to lead the way Albin
[00:17] <Mack_Swain> "I think I need to sit down a bit.."
[00:17] * Vanilla_ follows Albin with haste.
[00:18] <Vanilla_> Not yet Swain.
[00:18] * Mack_Swain collects his crossbow and any salvagable bolts
[00:18] * Roy gets out of there
[00:18] * Erwin follows!
[00:19] <Mack_Swain> "map says it's up this way"
[00:19] <@Illcushion> AFter the battle dies down, the group traverses further into the forest. Looks like the sun is setting.
[00:19] <Mack_Swain> "You bumblefucks sure you want to go up there? I've had my share of adventure today"
[00:19] <Mack_Swain> "That spider..thing..."
[00:19] <Vanilla_> We got any dynamite left?
[00:20] <Erwin> "No time for rest when there's adventure to be had!"
[00:20] <Mack_Swain> "that was my last one"
[00:20] <Roy> Shit. will we be able to find shelter before nightfall?
[00:20] <Vanilla_> Damn I was thinking 'bout shoving some in my belt
[00:20] <Albin_> "Spider Girl, to be exact. And i think we're gonna find something."
[00:20] <Roy> I don't want to be running into more things like that
[00:20] <Roy> I heard they get stronger ones come out at night
[00:20] <Vanilla_> Well hey the only one who woulda died if it got bad there woulda been me.
[00:21] <Mack_Swain> I am so god damn done with the country
[00:21] <Vanilla_> You all can just hop away like 'lil rabbits if the going gets too tough.
[00:21] <Mack_Swain> Is everything out here half woman half monster?
[00:21] <Erwin> "Pretty much! Some of them are nice though."
[00:21] <Mack_Swain> Yeah vanilla, should have just "hopped away" and let you get molested/eaten.
[00:21] <Vanilla_> There's regular animals 'round here too
[00:22] <Vanilla_> A'ight I aplogize for my rude comment.
[00:22] <Mack_Swain> "yeah yeah, whatever."
[00:22] <Mack_Swain> "So, other than humans, what do those things even eat?"
[00:22] <@Illcushion> ALERTNESS ROLL, EVERYONE!!!
[00:22] <Vanilla_> (+3)
[00:22] <Erwin> +4!
[00:22] <Roy> (0)
[00:22] * Albin_ alertness up in this bitch (+3)
[00:22] <Mack_Swain> +1, getting too old for this shit
[00:22] <@Illcushion> Erwin spots something between the trees looking at them. Maybe he should go investigate more closely!
[00:23] * Erwin does not alert his friends and goes to be a friendly chap!
[00:23] <Mack_Swain> "where'd golden boy go off to
[00:23] <Albin_> "Excuse me, where are you going?"
[00:23] <Mack_Swain> "If he finds another spider girl thing she can keep him".
[00:23] <Vanilla_> Pro'bly to play hero somewhere.
[00:24] <Erwin> "Hello? No need to hide from a friendly hero!"
[00:24] <@Illcushion> A meek voice speaks from between the trees. "O-oh... h-h-h-hello!"
[00:24] <@Illcushion> It seems this person is hiding behind a bush.
[00:25] <Erwin> "I see! So you're a talking bush! Fantastic!"
[00:25] <Mack_Swain> "alright guys, map says it's just a bit furhher. Erwin can sit on a pike. I'm done with him.
[00:26] <@Illcushion> "Y-yeah... s-s-something like that..." she says, her voice cracking a little.
[00:26] <Vanilla_> Well I ain't that harsh on the boy but fuck going back out into the dark to figure out wherever he went off to.
[00:26] <Vanilla_> I'ma lay here and finish off that chewin' tobacco that guard gave me.
[00:26] <Mack_Swain> "Fine, we'll wait here. In 15 minutes we'll assume he's food and we'll leave."
[00:27] <Erwin> "Haha! Well what's up? I saw you looking our way and thought I would come speak with you." Erwin beams. "Don't tell me...you want to be friends!"
[00:27] * Albin_ walks towards the scene slowly, trying to investigate the shit out of the bush before getting too close (+2)
[00:27] <@Illcushion> Albin, it's too dark and full of shrubbery!!!!
[00:28] <Albin_> "Erwin, what are you doing?"
[00:28] * Albin_ stops walking.
[00:28] <Erwin> "Hero stuff!"
[00:28] * Roy simply pokes around to see what he can find while they wait (+2)
[00:28] <Vanilla_> Hey where'd Albin get off to?
[00:29] <Vanilla_> Erwin's a pain but that kid ain't so bad.
[00:29] <@Illcushion> The voice stays silent for a little while before it starts again. "I-i-is that one of your f-f-friends...?", her eyes visible through the bush, a deep blue.
[00:29] <Mack_Swain> "name one thing he's done that's helped."
[00:29] <@Illcushion> Roy finds a bug! It stings his finger then skitters away.
[00:29] <Albin_> "WOAH! There's someone there?!"
[00:29] <Erwin> "You bet! You should totally come out and say hi."
[00:29] <Mack_Swain> "Albin? what's going on?"
[00:29] <Roy> Owh! Damn it!
[00:29] * Roy sucks on his finger
[00:30] <Vanilla_> Well we 'prolly coulda avoided that spider girl if Erwin hadn't fucked it up
[00:30] <Albin_> "Um.... Hi?"
[00:30] <@Illcushion> "Hi...", the voice says, even quieter than before. She seems to be way too nervous for this shit.
[00:31] <Mack_Swain> "Albin? Kid?"
[00:31] * Albin_ rolls for rapport, trying to not startle the voice (+3)
[00:31] <Erwin> "Yeesh! If you're nervous I'll hand your hand if it  makes you feel better." Erwin extends a hand to the bush. "I don't bite or anything."
[00:31] <Erwin> also +3 rapport! Hooray rapport bro's!
[00:32] <@Illcushion> A green hand extends from the bush and reaches out to touch Erwin. The voice says "O-okay..." while the bush rustles.
[00:34] * Erwin keeps up his big friendly idiot smile.
[00:34] <@Illcushion> The owner of the voice gets up, revealing her appearance. http://i.imgur.com/h3DvNIY.png
[00:35] * Albin_ stares at the scene, being shaken by both Erwins idiocy and the fact the being is a monster.
[00:36] <@Illcushion> "A-are you scared...?" says the mandragora sitting in front of them.
[00:36] <Erwin> "Ooooh! What a pretty flower!" Erwin chuckles.
[00:36] * Mack_Swain begins idly reloading his repeating crossbow
[00:37] <Albin_> "I-i-i'm more stunned than scared.
[00:37] <@Illcushion> "A-ah!!! Thank you...", she says while blushing. "I... I'm the keeper of this forest, you know!"
[00:37] <Vanilla_> So Swain, the hell kinda place is your homecity?
[00:37] * Roy paces around restlessly
[00:37] <Mack_Swain> "big place. can't see from one wall to the other."
[00:37] <Erwin> "That's pretty impressive! Does that mean we have to ask you if we want to pass through?"
[00:37] <Mack_Swain> "all human too. Heard myths about monsters but that's it. Thought they were fairy tails."
[00:38] <Mack_Swain> "I guess not"
[00:38] <Vanilla_> Jesus, I could see the fields bordering my hometown once I walked out the door.
[00:38] <Vanilla_> Guess you're right in callin' me a country bumpkin.
[00:38] <Mack_Swain> "Only reason I'm out here is to find my dad
[00:38] <@Illcushion> The mandragora tightens her grip on Erwin's hand. "O-oh... no, no! In fact... you guys are the only reason I'm here right now...!"
[00:38] <Vanilla_> Your dad go missing 'round these parts?
[00:38] <Mack_Swain> never came back and all the lords were tightlipped"
[00:38] <Mack_Swain> I dont have any idea where he went."
[00:38] * Albin_ red flags light up
[00:38] <Vanilla_> My dad's been gone ever since some mugger went to far in his muggin'
[00:39] * Albin_ backs away slowly
[00:39] <Erwin> "Eh? Did you need help or something? Are you in danger?"
[00:39] <Mack_Swain> "I'm sorry bud. I never knew my mother myself."
[00:39] <Albin_> "Why is that so, Miss Plant Girl?"
[00:39] <@Illcushion> She pouts. "S-See... that big spider was roaming and... I-I'm too weak... the Queen Alraune entrusted this forest for me to care after... and I-I just went to sleep, pretending to be a normal plant!"
[00:40] <Vanilla_> Well that's just how things are. When'd your pa go missing?
[00:40] <@Illcushion> "So shameful...", sap-like tears begin forming at her eyes.
[00:40] <Mack_Swain> About a month ago.
[00:40] <Mack_Swain> He was the best seige engineer in the city. built all the weapons on the south and east wall.
[00:40] <Vanilla_> What makes 'ya think he's all the way out here?
[00:41] <Mack_Swain> He goes out with the army to help with seige equipment for enemy cities.
[00:41] <Erwin> "Oh we already took care of a big spider." Erwin gives her a pat on the head. "It looks to me like you're doing a great job!"
[00:41] <Albin_> "Please don't cry, it's...."
[00:41] <Vanilla_> And he just didn't come back one day?
[00:41] <Mack_Swain> Yep. Lords didn't say nothing. pretended he never existed.
[00:41] <Mack_Swain> no funeral, nothing.
[00:42] <Vanilla_> That's rough mate. Guess that kinda politics is why I could never be a cityboy myself.
[00:42] <@Illcushion> "R-really...?", says the mandragora. "B-but... you were the ones who took her out, right!? You killed her, you're the heroes!!". Almost boasting with energy, she jumps up from her spot and goes in to hug Albin.
[00:42] * Mack_Swain nods and continues loading his crossbow
[00:43] <Vanilla_> Easier to live the way I see as just out in these parts I suppose.
[00:43] <Albin_> "Oh wait we..."
[00:43] * Vanilla_ chews my tobacco
[00:43] <@Illcushion> "You're heroes!!"
[00:43] * Albin_ does not finish the sentence because he is left breathless.
[00:43] <Erwin> "Very true!"
[00:44] <Albin_> "Miss Plant Girl, can i talk to my friend for a second? It is, as he says, hero stuff."
[00:44] <Albin_> "I promise it will take just a second."
[00:44] <@Illcushion> "O-oh... okay... I'll wait over there, in the bush..." she says as she lets go of Albin.
[00:44] <Albin_> "Thank you."
[00:45] * Albin_ grabs Erwin by the shoulder and drags him away so that Mandragora can't hear what he's saying
[00:45] * Erwin is dragged!
[00:45] * Albin_ whispers angrily
[00:45] <Albin_> "What are you talking about! Spider Girl is still alive and is roaming the forest not so long away from there?"
[00:46] <Albin_> "We cannot just lie to people like that!"
[00:47] <Erwin> "That still counts as taking care of her! And if you guys don't feel like chasing her down afterwards then I'll do it solo." Erwin looks over at the plant girl. "A hero never lets down a maiden in need! Even if she's a plant."
[00:47] <Mack_Swain> "alright, golden boy and the kid have been away too long. I'm going to find them."
[00:47] <Mack_Swain> "You guys coming?"
[00:47] <Vanilla_> A'ight, I'll watch our stuff for now.
[00:47] <Vanilla_> Holler if you need me
[00:48] <Roy> I'll go to.. Nothing arounf here anyway
[00:48] <@Illcushion> All of a sudden... a deafening scream belonging to a little girl is heard ringing throughout the forest.
[00:48] <@Illcushion> Roll for Resolve, y'alls.
[00:48] <Albin_> "You idiot. She withstood arrows, bolts and every...."
[00:48] <Roy> (-2)
[00:48] <Mack_Swain> +0
[00:48] <Vanilla_> (+4)
[00:48] <@Illcushion> ROY IS NOW WAY FUCKING UNCONSCIOUS
[00:48] * Albin_ ([email protected]) Quit ( Quit: Page closed )
[00:49] <@Illcushion> MACK FALLS TO THE GROUND, HIS HEAD RINGING
[00:49] <Mack_Swain> "Gauuuuah"
[00:49] * Albin_ ([email protected]) has joined #monmusurpg
[00:50] * Roy falls over unconscious
[00:50] <Erwin> -2 resolve! Uh oh!!
[00:50] <@Illcushion> Erwin's head explodes!
[00:50] <Erwin> Rip!
[00:50] <@Illcushion> Is what he thinks happened, but no, he just fell down.
[00:50] <Mack_Swain> wot
[00:50] * Albin_ ([email protected]) Quit ( Quit: Page closed )
[00:50] * Albin_ ([email protected]) has joined #monmusurpg
[00:51] * Albin_ ROLLS FUKKEN AGAIN (+3)
[00:51] * Mack_Swain attempts to stand back up (+3 resolve)
[00:51] <@Illcushion> Vanilla and Albin manage to withstand the initial wave, and promptly cover their ears.
[00:52] <@Illcushion> Mack tries as hard as possible, but it seems his body is paralyzed!
[00:52] * Vanilla_ mumbles "Jesus christ"
[00:52] * Vanilla_ gets up and draws my sword, keeping it close to my side.
[00:53] * Vanilla_ I move out to where the scream came from and investigate. (+2)
[00:53] <@Illcushion> Vanilla finds Albin behind a tree, looking like he's having the worst motherfucking hang-over.
[00:53] * Roy stays there knocked the fuck out
[00:53] <Vanilla_> "Hey kid, you okay? You get into hip flask?"
[00:53] <Albin_> "H-hello."
[00:54] <Albin_> "I-i d-don't know what happened."
[00:54] * Erwin is enjoying the safety of the floor.
[00:54] <Vanilla_> What happened before that screech? You remember at all?
[00:54] <Mack_Swain> "Can somebody help me damn it?!"
[00:54] * Vanilla_ I reach an arm out to pull Mack Swain up
[00:55] <Albin_> "There was a Plant Girl, and Erwin tried to talk to her."
[00:55] <Vanilla_> A plant girl? What'd she look like? Did you guys piss her off?
[00:55] <Albin_> "But then, you probably can imagine, he lied and i tried to talk to him on the side."
[00:56] <Vanilla_> lied 'bout what?
[00:56] <Albin_> "Then the screetch, all i remember."
[00:56] <@Illcushion> HEY GUYS ALERTNESS ROLLS
[00:56] <@Illcushion> EXCEPT FOR THE DUDES ON THE FLOOR
[00:56] <Vanilla_> (+1)
[00:56] * Albin_ rolls for alertness (+1)
[00:56] <Mack_Swain> "Wait wait wait"
[00:56] * Roy is on the floor
[00:56] <Mack_Swain> "What the fuck is this about plants"
[00:56] * Mack_Swain slumps back on the floor
[00:57] <@Illcushion> Vanilla and Albin both turn their heads slightly to the left and notice a pair of blue eyes staring at them.
[00:57] <Albin_> "It's her."
[00:57] <Albin_> "Hello?"
[00:57] <Vanilla_> ''E-ello there.
[00:58] <Albin_> "Is that you, Miss Plant Girl?"
[00:58] <@Illcushion> "Awawawa... I'm sorry! I'm sorry!". Almost unfitting of her appearance, the mandragora sprints towards the group, crying.
[00:58] <Mack_Swain> "What's going on? I can't see anything through my headache"
[00:58] <Vanilla_> There's a plant girl, the screeching type that spooked all of you with her screech.
[00:58] <Vanilla_> H-hey now, it's alright you hear lass?
[00:59] <Mack_Swain> "A plant.. girl? Is tha-"
[00:59] * Albin_ stumbles away from the tree.
[00:59] <Mack_Swain> "AHH SON OF A BITCH"
[00:59] <@Illcushion> "Aaaaaaaaaa....!!" she cries out before hugging Albin again. "I'm sorry!"
[00:59] * Mack_Swain attempts to reach for his crossbow (+0)
[00:59] <Albin_> "It's ok, here.:
[00:59] * Vanilla_ I reach down and look at the plant girl
[00:59] <@Illcushion> Mack's all kinds of fucked up and can't reach shit.
[00:59] <Vanilla_> That ain't needed Swain.
[00:59] <Vanilla_> This here is just a kid.
[00:59] * Albin_ tries to wipe her tears off.
[01:00] * Vanilla_ kneels down and watches Albin interact with her.
[01:00] <Albin_> "Vanilla, can you please sort Mack out? He might be trying something.
[01:00] <Mack_Swain> "I'm so done, Somebody get me brandy or mead."
[01:00] <Albin_> "I mean don't hurt him."
[01:00] <@Illcushion> The mandragora looks up at Albin with teary eyes. "I saw her... the spider... and I got spooked! B-but my scream paralyzed her!"
[01:00] <Vanilla_> I snatched some whiskey from the town.
[01:01] <Vanilla_> Got it here in this flask
[01:01] <Mack_Swain> "give it here"
[01:01] <Vanilla_> You fancy some?
[01:01] <Vanilla_> H-Hey what was that?
[01:01] <Albin_> "It's okay... You did very good. It was the best you could do."
[01:01] <Vanilla_> You saw that damned spider?
[01:01] <Mack_Swain> "Vanilla, my whisky. damn it."
[01:02] * Vanilla_ I toss Mack the flask.
[01:02] <@Illcushion> "Y-yes... she was huge, and wanted to eat me! I think she was stalking you guys...!" she says. "D-did I hurt your f-f-f-f-friend?", she motions over to Mack.
[01:02] * Mack_Swain downs the flask like it was springwater in a desert
[01:02] <Vanilla_> No, that old man had it coming. No worries at all.
[01:02] <Mack_Swain> "I heard that you crock"
[01:02] <Albin_> "He's okay. I'm more worried about Erwin though, he was the closest. Vanilla, can i ask you to get him upright?"
[01:02] <Vanilla_> I'm glad you alerted us actually.
[01:02] <Vanilla_> I got it
[01:03] * Vanilla_ puts Erwin upright against a tree.
[01:03] * Albin_ turns to Mandragora
[01:03] <Albin_> "But there's still nothing to worry about. Here."
[01:03] * Mack_Swain struggles to stand up
[01:03] * Albin_ looks around his backpack for a piece of cloth he took from the town.
[01:04] * Albin_ rips out a good bit and hands it over to the Mandragora.
[01:04] <@Illcushion> The mandragora lets go of Albin. "A-ah, don't move, you'll hurt yourself!" screams the mandragora at Mack. "Here, have some of this..." she says as she wipes her sappy tears and forces it into Mack's mouth.
[01:05] <Mack_Swain> "hey uh- mpppph!"
[01:05] <@Illcushion> "It s-s-should help you get better... I'm sorry..." she says.
[01:05] <Albin_> "I... did not expect that."
[01:05] <Vanilla_> Hey, how long does you screech last?
[01:05] * Mack_Swain coughs a little
[01:06] <@Illcushion> "U-um... I'm a very strong mandragora... most only really last a minute at most... mine could last for an hour... but I can wake someone up with my sap" she explains as she dries the rest of her tears with Albin's cloth.
[01:06] <Mack_Swain> "Well it did the trick"
[01:06] * Mack_Swain stands up
[01:06] <@Illcushion> "O-oh... whoops."
[01:07] <Albin_> "Excuse me, Miss Mandragora? Can you do that to the other person too?"
[01:07] <@Illcushion> "O-oh... him?" she motions over to Roy.
[01:07] * Vanilla ([email protected]) has joined #monmusurpg
[01:07] * Roy is still knocked out roll for consciousness or something? (-2, well, it's not like I wanted miss my beauty sleep anyway)
[01:08] * Vanilla "Test"
[01:08] <Albin_> "Oh, he's knocked out too? Well, that would make the two of them, the one that talked to you and this one. Hope that's not a problem.
[01:08] <@Illcushion> "B-but... I don't have any sap left in my eyes... only fresh sap has the healing properties to wake someone up..." she mopes.
[01:09] <Vanilla> Waking them up right now isn't priority. Dealing with that spider is.
[01:09] <Vanilla> You think she's asleep enough for me to hack her head off?
[01:09] <Mack_Swain> Hey "Listen. Thanks for your help, Man-dra-oaga... I mean it."
[01:09] <Albin_> "Do you really need to kill her?"
[01:09] <@Illcushion> "Y-yes... b-but you shouldn't! Spilling blood on this forest is strictly forbidden!!!" she says, holding her tiny chest high.
[01:10] <Vanilla> She's a terrible kinda monster girl that feeds on humans and other monster girls alike.
[01:10] <Mack_Swain> "Then how can we deal with the spider."
[01:10] <Vanilla> I've got no pity.
[01:10] <Albin_> "And no shame."
[01:10] <Mack_Swain> Neither do I, But I don't want to deal with this cute walking salad's boss."
[01:10] <Mack_Swain> Can we please get out of here and get to the farm?
[01:10] <@Illcushion> "U-um... I'm not sure how you can incapacitate her without pouring out blood..."
[01:10] <Vanilla> God damn.
[01:10] <Albin_> "Who are you to take somebody elses life away?"
[01:11] <Vanilla> That's just how life is kiddo.
[01:11] <Mack_Swain> Survival of the fittest kid, she tries to kill us, we go ahead and kill her right back.
[01:11] <Vanilla> Would you have killed that spider if it was gonna eat you earlier?
[01:11] * Vanilla_ ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout )
[01:11] <Vanilla> ga
[01:11] <Albin_> "I would never kill anyone."
[01:12] * Albin_ stutters for a moment, but then resumes talking
[01:12] <Vanilla> Even if you'd die yourself?
[01:12] <Vanilla> You want this cute little plant monster to die because you didn't want kill that spider?
[01:12] <@Illcushion> "Oh... um... here..." she says as she hands over the cloth to Vanilla. "You can use this to wake up the nice guy..."
[01:13] <Albin_> "We can still seal her, look: These are the sealing daggers used on the Golem Girl. They did the trick there, and she was far more powerful, and made of strange magic."
[01:13] * Vanilla shoves it in Roy's mouth
[01:13] <Vanilla> Damn, I forgot about that kid,
[01:13] <Albin_> "Why would we kill her, if we don't have to?"
[01:13] <Vanilla> Because she's a terrible monster with no ethics.
[01:13] <Albin_> "SO ARE YOU!"
[01:14] * Roy gets up, coughing
[01:14] <Vanilla> Whatever, you'll get it someday kiddo.
[01:14] <Roy> ugh what was that? The hell just went down my throat?
[01:14] <Vanilla> Sealing her is fine for now.
[01:14] * Mack_Swain rubs his temples
[01:14] * Albin_ offers the sealing dagger
[01:14] * Vanilla takes the dagger.
[01:15] <Albin_> "Please, do the right thing."
[01:15] <Vanilla> I won't kill her if you feel that strongly 'bout it.
[01:15] <Vanilla> Where's the spider plant girl?
[01:15] <Roy> Um, what's going on, you guys?
[01:15] <@Illcushion> "The spider... that way!" she says, pointing in the direction.
[01:15] * Erwin suddenly jumps up as everyone is talking about horrible murder. "Hey idiots! You don't have to kill her!"
[01:15] <Mack_Swain> Plant woman here knocked you out mate
[01:16] <Vanilla> We ain't gonna kill her god damnit.
[01:16] <Mack_Swain> And me too
[01:16] * Vanilla moves over the spider girl.
[01:16] <Roy> But all I remember was a scream
[01:16] <Vanilla> Hey if I yell for help screech again plant girl.
[01:16] * Albin_ stares at Vanilla.
[01:16] <@Illcushion> "Um... okay!"
[01:17] <Mack_Swain> Please don't screach again
[01:17] <Mack_Swain> Please god
[01:17] <@Illcushion> "Awawawa! You're right, I won't!" she says while covering her mouth with both hands.
[01:17] * Vanilla looks for plant girl in the direction that mandragora pointed
[01:17] <Erwin> "Eh? The plant girl stunned her? Wow! I guess the forest has it's own hero!" Erwin gives a little clap. Thank god he woke up to cheer on his friends!
[01:18] * Vanilla thinks "Fuck this is making me nervous, that kid just woke up all on his own."
[01:18] <Mack_Swain> Erwin I swear to god I am THIS close to socking you in the face
[01:18] <Albin_> "It's not really over yet, Erwin."
[01:18] * Albin_ follows Vanilla into the wilderness.
[01:18] <@Illcushion> The mandragora says something but it's muffled by the fact that she's covering her mouth.
[01:18] * Vanilla investigates surrounding area for spider girl. (+2)
[01:19] * Erwin shrugs. "Taking a savage beating is part of being a hero."
[01:19] <Mack_Swain> "Come on, you can uncover your mouth"
[01:19] <Mack_Swain> Jeeze
[01:19] <@Illcushion> Vanilla notices the Spider Girl is near a clearing! It's kind of huge and difficult to miss.
[01:19] * Vanilla walks up to spider girl, careful to watch for signs of it being awake.
[01:20] * Albin_ stands on the side.
[01:20] <@Illcushion> The Spider Girl's eyes suddenly open and stare straight at Vanilla's face.
[01:21] * Vanilla stabs the dagger into her face as quickly and powerfully as I can while yelling. (+4)
[01:21] * Albin_ covers his eyes
[01:22] <@Illcushion> The Spider Girl's eyes open fully in shock as she quickly disappears!
[01:22] * Mack_Swain covers his ears
[01:22] <@Illcushion> Well, not quite, but she did turn into a tiny spider. It runs away.
[01:22] <Albin_> "I-is it over?"
[01:22] <Vanilla> It's over.
[01:22] <@Illcushion> "Mmmf!" says the mandragora.
[01:22] <Mack_Swain> You can uncover your mouth sweatheart. Sheesh
[01:23] <Roy> It's okay, you can uncover your mouth plant lady
[01:23] <Albin_> "Th-thank you for not killing her, Vanilla."
[01:23] <Vanilla> I'm not a pious man but thank Illias.
[01:23] <Erwin> "Mission complete!" Erwin gives the mandragora his trademark nice guy thumbs up.
[01:23] <@Illcushion> "Mmf... okay. I'm sorry..." says the mandragora, sheepishly looking at her roots.
[01:23] <Vanilla> No problem kiddo.
[01:23] <Albin_> "So we're safe now, right?"
[01:23] <Vanilla> Far as I know.
[01:24] <Albin_> "Miss Mandragora, what do Plant Monsters eat?"
[01:24] <Vanilla> That plant lass is probably safe too.
[01:24] <Mack_Swain> Probably dirt
[01:24] <Mack_Swain> maybe a bug or two
[01:24] <@Illcushion> "U-ummmmm... we eat sunshine and water and dirt nutrients and water and..." she trails off.
[01:24] <Mack_Swain> and...?
[01:24] * Albin_ starts unpacking food from his backpack.
[01:24] <Vanilla> Don't worry about that.
[01:24] <@Illcushion> "... Ummmm..." she says while blushing like a red tomato.
[01:25] <Erwin> "At least it's not heroes! ha!"
[01:25] <Vanilla> Doesn't matter what else they eat.
[01:25] <Albin_> "Mack, shut up."
[01:25] <Mack_Swain> "I don't like where this is going."
[01:25] <Mack_Swain> hey, why are you all so defensive? I'm just curious
[01:25] <Mack_Swain> never seen  a monster not trying to kill me before
[01:25] <Albin_> "Look, let's just make a camp for tonight, we're all tired and at least i am hungry."
[01:25] <Vanilla> You've seen maybe two monsters mate.
[01:25] <Erwin> "Psssh I think you're safe from that kind of attack Mack."
[01:26] <Mack_Swain> Damn right.
[01:26] <@Illcushion> "W-w-w-well it's not like we're agressive... most of us... and I was only going to do it to wake up the nice hero! But he woke up on his own... so... yeah..." she says.
[01:26] * Mack_Swain pats his crossbow
[01:26] <Mack_Swain> Do what?
[01:26] <Vanilla> Dump cold water over him.
[01:26] <Albin_> "Guuuuuuys.... the caaaamp."
[01:26] <@Illcushion> "Y-y-yeah! That! Yeah!" she says.
[01:26] <Mack_Swain> I dont like your tone smartass
[01:26] <Vanilla> My tone is fine Mack.
[01:27] <Mack_Swain> Whatever. I need sleep
[01:27] <Albin_> "Ok, who wants dried meat from the village?"
[01:27] <Vanilla> Guess you can stay around here lass if you want long as you don't "dump any cold water" on anybody.
[01:27] <Erwin> "Haha! Well if I ever get stunned again I'll be relying on you to help me out Miss Plant! You are a hero after all."
[01:27] <Mack_Swain> Aint water around here anyways
[01:28] <Roy> I'll take some meat.
[01:28] <Mack_Swain> not hungry.
[01:28] <Albin_> "Here you go."
[01:28] <Albin_> "Vanilla?"
[01:28] <Vanilla> I'll take some too.
[01:28] <@Illcushion> The mandragora puffs her petite chest. "O-okay... yeah... I'll stay here and keep watch for any big monsters! And if I see one, I'll scream!"
[01:28] * Albin_ hands some over.
[01:28] * Roy takes takes a bite
[01:28] <Mack_Swain> Give us warning before you blow our eardrums out, miss.
[01:29] <Roy> jeeze, having to sleep out in the woods.
[01:29] * Vanilla rips the meat with his teeth and consumes.
[01:29] * Erwin leans against a tree. "Man I wish I had a power like that."
[01:29] <Mack_Swain> You're telling me roy
[01:29] <Mack_Swain> Never sleeped out side the city before
[01:29] <Mack_Swain> It's awful quiet.
[01:29] * Albin_ pokes Erwin with a piece of beef jerky.
[01:29] * Erwin happily takes the jerky from the jerk.
[01:29] <Roy> I've always made sure to make it to an inn at least when I travled
[01:29] <Vanilla> A real man sleeps out in the wilderness often.
[01:30] <Mack_Swain> Don't lecture me on what "real men" do.
[01:30] * Mack_Swain sifts through his pack for some lettuce
[01:30] * Albin_ uses the rope snatched from the city and the rest of the cloth to make a makeshift hammock (do i need a roll for that?)
[01:30] <Roy> Say, miss plant lady, you know this forest pretty well, huh?
[01:31] <@Illcushion> "Yeah! This forest is my home! But... when I went to sleep, I think it changed... there were some trees that fell down..." she says.
[01:31] * Albin_ happily rocks left and right in his makeshift bedding.
[01:31] * Mack_Swain stares at the lettuce, then stares at the mandragoa
[01:31] * Vanilla lays out a cloth from his pack and lays down
[01:31] * Mack_Swain mutters "I wonder if her hair would work in a salad"
[01:31] <Roy> Would you be able to tell us if any shifty types of people have come through here?
[01:32] <@Illcushion> "S-s-s-s-shifty!?" she yells out, though not loud enough for anyone's ears to catch on fire.
[01:32] <Mack_Swain> "holy illias calm down"
[01:33] <@Illcushion> "S-sorry!" she says, burying her face in Roy's chest while hugging him.
[01:33] <Vanilla> Hey it isn't polite to use terms like holy Illias around monster folk.
[01:33] <Mack_Swain> Why not?
[01:33] <Albin_> "See what you did you jerk? Now she's spooked again."
[01:34] <Vanilla> Illias and monster folk don't get along.
[01:34] <Vanilla> Figure you'd know that.
[01:34] * Roy pets her "There there. it's alright. but I mean people like maybe a wizard? Or someone taking soil"
[01:34] <Mack_Swain> Never liked religion
[01:34] <Mack_Swain> Spent like one day in church and never wanted to go again
[01:34] <Mack_Swain> priests kinda tick me off.
[01:35] <Vanilla> Guess that's something we can agree on.
[01:35] * Erwin laughs. "See how great it is being a hero? Hugs are a pretty good reward if you ask me."
[01:35] <Vanilla> Pompous old bastards.
[01:35] <Mack_Swain> Types like erwin also tick me off.
[01:35] <@Illcushion> "A wizard... n-no, but there was a lady in a coat that was big enough to reach her ankles... but I didn't sense any magic from her...!" she says. "Maybe she was an apprentice to a wizard?"
[01:35] <Mack_Swain> sounds like a labcoat
[01:35] <Vanilla> Guess that's another.
[01:35] <Mack_Swain> what color was it
[01:36] <Albin_> "That would be the person we heard about from the Elders."
[01:36] <Roy> Did she take any soil from around here?
[01:36] <Vanilla> The hell is the point of a coat like that in a forest?
[01:36] <@Illcushion> "S-she did take some soil... it was really rude, she didn't ask! And then she... she just tossed it away!"
[01:36] <Mack_Swain> Which way did she go?"
[01:37] <Roy> Tossed it away?  I thought maybe they would have used it to make that golem we saw
[01:37] <@Illcushion> "U-um... that way, I think! It was years ago, but my memory is REALLY good! Then again... nothing happens around the forest..." she pouts.
[01:38] <Erwin> "Well that's not entirely true is it? We happened just a few minutes ago!"
[01:38] <Albin_> "I think that she was trying out the best material for her creation. Golem was made from stone, not dirt, after all."
[01:38] * Vanilla mumbles "Wish you didn't happen Erwin."
[01:38] <Mack_Swain> Let's head towards the barn. Please? Finally?
[01:38] <Mack_Swain> Maybe we can talk to the mean old labcoat lady
[01:39] <@Illcushion> "Awawawa... if you leave now... I mean, it's dark...", she says while looking at the sky, barely visible through the trees.
[01:39] <Vanilla> I wanna get on with so I get my god damned sword sharpened.
[01:39] <Albin_> "We'd be no good tired."
[01:39] <Vanilla> Guess that plant lass has a point though.
[01:40] <Mack_Swain> Let's sleep then.
[01:40] <Roy> As much as I'd like to be out of the wilderness, remember that the capital wasn't built in a day
[01:40] * Mack_Swain unrolls his bedroll
[01:41] * Vanilla rests his head on a bundle of his cloth
[01:41] * Albin_ rolls to the side in his hammock.
[01:42] <@Illcushion> "I'll keep watch, and let the heroes know if there's danger!" she says while puffing up.
[01:42] * Mack_Swain ([email protected]) Quit ( Quit: Page closed )
[01:42] * Mack_Swain ([email protected]) has joined #monmusurpg
[01:42] <Albin_> "Thank you very much, Miss Mandragora."
[01:42] * Albin_ drifts off to sleep.
[01:42] * Roy takes out some blakets and makes a resting spot
[01:42] <Vanilla> Much obliged.
[01:42] <Erwin> "Thanks! If you get tired just wake me up and I'll take over the watch."
[01:42] * Vanilla yawns and falls asleep.
[01:42] <Roy> Yes, thank you miss plant lady
[01:45] <@Illcushion> Smoke break!!!!!!!!!!
[01:59] <@Illcushion> Alright, roll call.
[01:59] <@Illcushion> Put your motherfucking hands up.
[01:59] <Mack_Swain> reporting in
[01:59] * Roy puts his muther foking hands up
[01:59] <Albin_> Kirov reporting.
[02:00] <Erwin> yoo
[02:00] <@Illcushion> Vanilla Ice?
[02:01] <@Illcushion> >Vanilla in charge of attending class
[02:01] <Mack_Swain> Vanilla's off 420blazing it
[02:02] <Vanilla> Vanilla is here
[02:11] <@Illcushion> MEANWHILE AT THE CAMP
[02:11] <@Illcushion> Nothing happened, the Mandragora is still awake, and our heroes all wake up at the same time for some undisclosed reasons.
[02:11] * Mack_Swain groggily rubs his eyes
[02:11] * Albin_ yawns.
[02:11] <Mack_Swain> "OH SWEET ILLIAS"
[02:12] <Mack_Swain> "wait. I remember now, that's OUR plant lady"
[02:12] * Roy yawns and stretches
[02:12] * Vanilla coughs a bit and hits his chest with his fist
[02:12] <@Illcushion> "Awawawa... yes... hello, everyone! Did you sleep well?" she says, still full of energy.
[02:12] <Albin_> "Good morning everyone."
[02:12] <Mack_Swain> I can't feel my leg
[02:12] <Vanilla> Mornin'
[02:13] <Vanilla> Just the one leg?
[02:13] <Mack_Swain> Sleeping on the ground isn't very fun
[02:13] <Roy> Ah yes. As best as one can out in the woods, anyway.
[02:13] * Erwin awakens full of anime energy. "What a night! Did anything spooky happen Miss Plant?"
[02:14] * Albin_ packs his makeshift bedding back into the backpack.
[02:14] <@Illcushion> "Awawawa... nothing! Nothing at all!" says the mandragora, beaming at Erwin.
[02:14] <Mack_Swain> "great, let's move out.
[02:14] * Vanilla gets up reluctantly and tosses his ground cloth sloppily into his pack
[02:14] <Albin_> "I still have some of that meat, if anyone fancies a breakfast."
[02:14] * Roy rolls up his blankest and neatly places them in his backpack
[02:15] <Albin_> "Not much, though."
[02:15] <@Illcushion> "Awawa... there's no need, mister young hero! I cooked up some breakfast already..." says the mandragora.
[02:15] <Mack_Swain> "I could go for a salad"
[02:15] <Vanilla> I agree, I just wanna get to that damned barn already.
[02:15] <Roy> I'll be fine for a while
[02:15] * Mack_Swain stares at the plant girl
[02:15] <Erwin> "Well good job completing your first quest! Now I suppose we should continue with ours."
[02:15] <Vanilla> Breakfast?
[02:15] <Roy> you can cook ms plant lady?
[02:15] <@Illcushion> "Y-yes... there, look!". She points at some unspecific dirt on the ground. "Bon apetit!"
[02:15] <Mack_Swain> You don't cook a salad moron
[02:16] * Albin_ walks over the the pile.
[02:16] <Albin_> "What is this, Miss Mandragora?"
[02:16] <Vanilla> Well Erwin, will you refuse a lady's homemade food?
[02:16] <Vanilla> Eat up.
[02:16] <@Illcushion> "It's tasty!"
[02:16] <Mack_Swain> Yeah, that's just plane rude
[02:16] * Roy picks up the dirt
[02:17] <Albin_> "I-i think it would need some spices..."
[02:17] <Roy> I'm sorry ms plant but I don't think we can eat this
[02:17] <Mack_Swain> "Wonder if we could eat her hair"
[02:17] <Erwin> "Humans don't eat dirt but if it'll make you happy then I'll eat anything!"
[02:17] <Mack_Swain> "Looks kinda tasty"
[02:17] * Vanilla picks at the dirt a bit.
[02:18] <@Illcushion> "Awawawa! N-no, don't eat me!" she says, hiding behind Roy and grabbing his waist from behind.
[02:18] <Vanilla> I'll eat some moss or something instead.
[02:18] <Mack_Swain> Not you, just your hair, miss.
[02:18] <Mack_Swain> Unless that aint hair
[02:18] * Albin_ shrugs and unpacks dried meat.
[02:18] <Vanilla> That hell are you Swain, a spider girl? Give up on eating the plant lass already.
[02:18] <Roy> There there. no one's going to eat you
[02:19] <Mack_Swain> Look buddy, Leafy greans aren't exactly common in a city. Even a middle class family can't afford them
[02:19] <Mack_Swain> Plus I'm out of rations already
[02:19] * Albin_ throws him a piece of jerky.
[02:19] <Albin_> "Shut up, Mack."
[02:19] <Mack_Swain> Thanks.
[02:19] <Vanilla> Just eat the meat like a man.
[02:20] <Mack_Swain> Oh so eating plant bits is terrible but eating dead cows is just fine.
[02:20] <Mack_Swain> you know what, it's not worth it
[02:20] * Mack_Swain stuffs the jerky into his mouth
[02:20] <Vanilla> God damn it I eat cows, not cow girls. Cow girls can talk. Plant girls can talk.
[02:20] <Vanilla> I don't eat shit that talks.
[02:20] <Erwin> "Wow! I think I just heard something really stupid!"
[02:20] <Mack_Swain> If I could eat my hair I would
[02:21] <@Illcushion> The plant girl pokes her head out from behind Roy. "D-don't eat your hair, it looks gross... and greasy!"
[02:21] <Vanilla> You could if you really tried.
[02:21] <Mack_Swain> I need a bath, been looking for my dad for a month already
[02:21] <Albin_> "Are you people serious?"
[02:21] * Erwin bursts into laughter. "Good one!"
[02:22] <Vanilla> You didn't bathe the entire time?
[02:22] <Vanilla> Jesus.
[02:22] <Roy> Haha. Speaking of, ms plant, do you know where a stream is around here?
[02:22] <Mack_Swain> If I went into a river I would get attacked by leaches.
[02:22] * Mack_Swain looks at the plant girl
[02:22] <Mack_Swain> Or leach girls or whatever
[02:23] <Vanilla> I've had enough monsters like spider girls or leech girls for a lifetime.
[02:23] <Mack_Swain> I've had enough for ten lifetimes
[02:23] <@Illcushion> The mandragora thinks. "N-no, there's no stream... there's a clearing... where the spider girl was! But you can't bathe in it! It's sacred!"
[02:23] <Mack_Swain> Can we please go to the god damn barn already
[02:23] <Mack_Swain> "sacred"? says what diety exactly?
[02:23] <Roy> Sacred?
[02:23] <Albin_> "Seems like a good idea to continue on."
[02:23] <Albin_> "Oh bloody hell not again."
[02:24] <Mack_Swain> The kid's right
[02:24] <Mack_Swain> Enough bullshitting around
[02:24] <Vanilla> Who gives a fuck what old trees are sacred or not?
[02:24] <Mack_Swain> Map says it's just ahead
[02:24] <Vanilla> Lets just go already.
[02:24] <Erwin> "To the barn! See you later Miss Plant!"
[02:25] <@Illcushion> "Y-yes! See you... later...!" she says.
[02:25] <Albin_> "Thanks for everything!"
[02:25] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah, thanks."
[02:26] <@Illcushion> "Y-you too..."
[02:26] * Roy pats her on the head "Yes, thank you ms palnt"
[02:26] <@Illcushion> The mandragora blushes with the might of a thousand anime suns!
[02:27] <Roy> Something wrong?
[02:27] * Vanilla picks up his stuff and slings on his back
[02:27] * Mack_Swain walks towards teh barn
[02:27] * Albin_ follows Mack
[02:27] <Vanilla> Alright well I'm walking this way.
[02:27] * Vanilla follows Mack
[02:27] <@Illcushion> "N-no... it's nothing... goodbye, heroes! Visit me sometime...!" she yells out from behind them.
[02:27] * Mack_Swain waves
[02:28] * Vanilla waves
[02:28] * Erwin goes to the baaaarn!
[02:28] * Roy waves then follows the others "oi, guys. wait up."
[02:28] * Albin_ is being really fucking originall and waves.
[02:28] <@Illcushion> AND SO THEY WENT TO THE BARN WITH NO MORE COMPLICATIONS ALONG THE WAY.
[02:28] <@Illcushion> The heroes stand in front of the barn. What now, jerks?
[02:29] <Mack_Swain> "..So it's just some ordinary barn?"
[02:29] <Albin_> "Did you expect a hidden laboratory to be obvious?"
[02:29] * Vanilla Inspects the outside of the barn. (+5)
[02:29] <Erwin> "I wonder if there are sheep girls around! I could use an intelligent conversation."
[02:29] <Mack_Swain> "Sheep are intelligent now?"
[02:30] <Erwin> "More than some people I know."
[02:30] <@Illcushion> Vanilla notices that this barn's roof has been completely torn off and is now laying near the road. Also, it's missing a gate. And some walls. And the corral is empty.
[02:30] <Vanilla> Guess we won't have any trouble getting in.
[02:31] * Roy throws a rock and atempts to hit the broad side of the barn (+0)
[02:31] <Mack_Swain> "Uh. I'm not a private eye. But I think... this is where the rock chick came from."
[02:31] <Albin_> "So... what do we do? If the wizard is inside, she won't take kindly to intrusion."
[02:31] <@Illcushion> Roy's rock bounces off the broad side of the barn! It makes a sound. Yay.
[02:31] <Vanilla> Why would she be in an old wrecked place like this?
[02:31] <Mack_Swain> "Roy you moron"
[02:31] <Mack_Swain> "anything in there knows we are here now"
[02:31] <Roy> AT least I hit something this time
[02:32] <Vanilla> I'm going in now. Feel free to follow me.
[02:32] * Vanilla moves into the wreckage of the barn
[02:32] * Erwin follows.
[02:32] * Mack_Swain readies his crossbow and follows vanilla
[02:32] <@Illcushion> Vanilla's feet is buried in a pile of manure! Disgusting.
[02:32] <Mack_Swain> "Nice one."
[02:32] <@Illcushion> Vanilla's feet has attained the rank of SHITLORD.
[02:32] <Erwin> "Watch your step!"
[02:32] * Albin_ gulps and slowly follows.
[02:33] * Roy watches his step as he follows the others
[02:33] <@Illcushion> The barn is completely lit up. There seems to be nothing out of order that's apparently obvious.
[02:33] * Vanilla steps forward, shaking off manure from my boots.
[02:33] * Mack_Swain Looks around for anything telling (Inspect +3)
[02:34] <@Illcushion> Mack notices that the roof is also not on from the inside! And there's a feather on the ground near a stack of hay.
[02:34] <Mack_Swain> "what's this?"
[02:34] * Mack_Swain picks up the feather
[02:34] <Albin_> "A feather?"
[02:34] <@Illcushion> Closer inspection of the feather reveals that it's a feather.
[02:34] <Erwin> "Birds."
[02:34] <Roy> a feather? yay
[02:34] <Mack_Swain> (What color?)
[02:35] <Vanilla> Nice feather you got there.
[02:35] * Roy inspects the hay stack (-1 god damn)
[02:35] <@Illcushion> It's a bright white. Seems to be pulsating with energy.
[02:35] <@Illcushion> The hay stack reveals some hay.
[02:35] <Mack_Swain> "great. a magic feather. even more magic crap to deal with."
[02:36] * Mack_Swain places the feather in his bag
[02:36] <Albin_> "Wait, Mack, can i take a look at it?"
[02:36] <Mack_Swain> sure, go ahead
[02:36] * Mack_Swain hands it over
[02:36] <Vanilla> You sure that thing's really magic?
[02:36] <Vanilla> I mean it looks pretty but.
[02:36] <Mack_Swain> It's pulsating man. I know magical hoodwink crap anywhere
[02:37] <Mack_Swain> Lived next to a parlour trick tinker shop
[02:37] * Albin_ concentrates and tries to examine the feather (+5 with a fate, cuz i don't give a fuck)
[02:38] * Roy waves his hands as if making magic "Maybe if you hold it it give you mystical powers oooh"
[02:38] <@Illcushion> It seems this feather is... holding a fairy hostage.
[02:38] <Albin_> "WOAH WOAH WOAH"
[02:38] <Mack_Swain> "what"
[02:38] <Vanilla> huh?
[02:38] <Roy> What?
[02:39] <Albin_> "There's... There's a little monster girl inside."
[02:39] <Vanilla> is this feather that great?
[02:39] <Mack_Swain> "I'm sorry, what?
[02:39] <Roy> a wha
[02:39] <Vanilla> You've gotta be kidding me kid.
[02:39] <Erwin> "An evil feather!"
[02:39] <Albin_> "A Fairy, inside of this feather."
[02:39] <@Illcushion> A high pitched "Hi!" comes out of the feather.
[02:39] <Mack_Swain> That makes zero sense little man
[02:39] <Mack_Swain> "Illias what the fuck was that"
[02:39] <Roy> Holy... how can you even tell?
[02:39] <Albin_> "H-hello?"
[02:40] <Vanilla> I don't get this at all.
[02:40] * Roy tries to inspect the feather (+2 holy shit)
[02:40] <@Illcushion> "Hi! I'm here!" says the fairy. "I was playing with this thing and then I got stuck!"
[02:40] <Mack_Swain> "Goddamn magic."
[02:40] <Mack_Swain> "how can we get you out"
[02:40] <@Illcushion> The feather seems to still house a fairy and doesn't seem to have any special properties.
[02:41] <Albin_> "Stuck like.. what? Bound into it?"
[02:41] * Vanilla Tries to inspect the feather and it's mysteries (+3)
[02:41] <Roy> It really is a fairy!
[02:41] <@Illcushion> "Y-yes I'm stuck! I don't know how it happened, it's like when you're in a tree, and suddenly you're in the hair of someone, and they scream!" she says. "Please just pluck me out!"
[02:41] <Mack_Swain> "So if we destroy the feather do you pop out?
[02:41] <Erwin> "What sort of evil bird has fairy trapping feathers?!"
[02:42] <Vanilla> I don't think destroying the feather is a good idea?
[02:42] <@Illcushion> The feather has absolutely no magic properties. It's a bird feather. What bird? Only Ilias knows.
[02:42] * Albin_ combs the feather with his finger.
[02:42] <Vanilla> What if it's like those sealing weapons?
[02:42] <Vanilla> If I squished that spider she woulda died after being sealed.
[02:43] <Albin_> "I can't feel you in there. Do you know what we can do?"
[02:43] <@Illcushion> "EheheheEHEHEHEHehehehhe! That tickles!" says the fairy as Albin's finger lightly bruises against her wings and she flies out of the feather, fluttering around the barn.
[02:43] <Mack_Swain> "What."
[02:43] <Albin_> "Well, that takes care of that."
[02:43] <Vanilla> Eeh?
[02:43] <@Illcushion> "It's magic!" she exclaims.
[02:43] <Vanilla> By Illias.
[02:43] <Erwin> "Dude you totally felt up that fairy."
[02:43] <Roy> Oh wow
[02:44] <Erwin> "I'm pretty sure that means you're married or something."
[02:44] <Mack_Swain> "You know, I've completely forgotten why we came to this rotting barn. But I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with a fairy"
[02:44] <@Illcushion> She stops flying around and stops in front of Mack's face. "Did it have to do with the big thing?"
[02:44] <Albin_> "It had to do with magic. Tell me that was not magic?"
[02:45] <Mack_Swain> Yeah, the big ass rock woman
[02:45] <Vanilla> How long have you been here fairy?
[02:45] <@Illcushion> "I don't know about any big asses, but she was big and rocky and a woman... so yes, it's the big thing! she says.
[02:45] <@Illcushion> "I've been stuck here for... 6 years! I think..."
[02:46] <Mack_Swain> Holy Illias
[02:46] <Albin_> "I have a feeling that monsters feel time differently than us."
[02:46] <Mack_Swain> How have you not starved to death
[02:46] <Albin_> "Anyway, can you please tell us everything you remember?"
[02:46] <Roy> Why has everything around her happened 6 years ago, jeeze
[02:46] <@Illcushion> "Magic!"
[02:46] <Mack_Swain> Of course.
[02:46] <Mack_Swain> Magic
[02:46] <Vanilla> Were those eventful years?
[02:46] <Vanilla> Why were you trapped for 6 years?
[02:47] <@Illcushion> "Most of that time there were people running around! A big mean lady came up to me and told me to stop playing pranks on people... then she put me in a jar!" she says.
[02:47] <Mack_Swain> Pranks?
[02:47] <Albin_> "People... so there's something more to this than we thought."
[02:47] <@Illcushion> "Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
[02:48] <Erwin> "How horrible! You should play a prank right away to cheer yourself up!"
[02:48] <Mack_Swain> And you couldn't escape from a jar?
[02:48] <Mack_Swain> Can it Erwin
[02:48] <Albin_> "Umm... Miss Fairy, to the point please."
[02:48] <@Illcushion> "No! It was magic! I think... or plastic? I don't know..." she says, looking at the floor.
[02:48] <Erwin> "Did I just hear I squeak?"
[02:48] <Vanilla> What kind of pranks did you play on these people?
[02:48] <Erwin> a*
[02:49] <@Illcushion> "Okay, okay, to the point! There were people running around, writing on big flat rocks with magic wands, and then one day they just left!"
[02:49] <Mack_Swain> Runes....
[02:49] <Mack_Swain> They were probably building that rock monster
[02:50] <Vanilla> The hell? I've never heard of anything like that.
[02:50] <Albin_> "I know it has been said a lot of times today, but it's magic."
[02:50] <Mack_Swain> How else are you going to animate rocks like that
[02:50] * Roy looks around for rocks (-4 holy fuck)
[02:50] <Mack_Swain> levers and pullys cant do that
[02:50] <Vanilla> I guess that's a fine explanation
[02:50] <Vanilla> Took them 6 years to make that though?
[02:50] <Vanilla> and why attack that town?
[02:50] <@Illcushion> Roy finds no rocks inside the feather which is where he was looking for.
[02:51] <@Illcushion> The fairy flutters around the room. "Huh? What town?"
[02:51] * Roy shakes the feather expecting something to fall out "No rocks in here"
[02:51] <Vanilla> The one that big rock lady tried to destroy.
[02:52] * Erwin runs a hand through his hair. "I saved a town from the big thing. No big deal."
[02:52] * Mack_Swain mutters "I'm surrounded by morons of varying degree"
[02:52] <Albin_> "So, if i understand correctly: There were many people there, doing magic, with the head lady in a robe. They crafted a biiiiig, livung statue, right Miss Fairy?"
[02:52] <@Illcushion> "Oooh! You're a hero!? Yay!!! I met a hero!" she says, flying around Erwin's face in a circle.
[02:52] <Mack_Swain> "You met a hero?"
[02:53] <Erwin> "She met a hero!"
[02:53] <Roy> Say, miss fairy. Are there any more fairies around here?
[02:53] * Vanilla mumbles "Illias damn it, this fairy is like Erwin 2#"
[02:53] <@Illcushion> "Yes Mr. Big Young Boy! That's what I saw!" she says, flying on top of Albin's head.
[02:53] <Mack_Swain> "Where did he go after he came here?"
[02:53] <Albin_> "Oook... Anything else?"
[02:54] <Vanilla> Is this part of the barn really all that's left of the barn?
[02:54] <Vanilla> Where did they keep their rocks?
[02:54] <@Illcushion> "Umm... I don't remember anything else... sorry..."
[02:55] <Albin_> "I guess it's ok."
[02:55] <Mack_Swain> "We should report back to the elder"
[02:55] * Erwin scratches his head. "I'm a little worried about all the ship that the elder said lived here...where will they stay?"
[02:55] <Erwin> sheep
[02:55] <Erwin> fug
[02:55] <Erwin> !!!
[02:55] <Roy> Yeah, we havn't even seen any sheep around here
[02:55] <Vanilla> Maybe the golem girl ate them as a snack for before she attacked the town.
[02:55] <Roy> didn't he say there was a lot of them
[02:55] <Mack_Swain> "That's kind of messed up"
[02:56] <Erwin> "Don't say such a thing!"
[02:56] <Albin_> "Maybe the magicians used their life essence to create that thing? Like in the legends!"
[02:56] <Mack_Swain> Is that really how this crap works?
[02:56] <Mack_Swain> Can they do that?
[02:57] <Albin_> "I only heard about it in stories my grandfather used to read me. I don't know for sure."
[02:57] <Vanilla> I know about legends like that, but I can't see something as that grand as that happening in this shitty old barn
[02:58] <Mack_Swain> Maybe the elder knows
[02:58] <Erwin> "No that can't be true! They have to be somewhere..." Erwin steps outside and SCANS the surroundings. 0!! thanks dice!!
[02:58] <@Illcushion> Erwin can't find the sheep in the empty corral, which is weird, because it's empty.
[02:58] <Mack_Swain> What is your problem Erwin? you want to be a sheepshagger that much?"
[02:58] <Albin_> "I think that we really should bring back the information we've gathered."
[02:59] <Albin_> "Or, we can just take a bit to scan the outsides of the barn, but that's up to you."
[02:59] <Vanilla> I agree, this place doesn't have anything else to offer us.
[02:59] <Vanilla> We've done our job
[02:59] <Albin_> "Guys?"
[02:59] <Albin_> "Are we done?"
[02:59] * Mack_Swain Starts heading back
[02:59] <Mack_Swain> "Come on guys, lets go. Bye strange fairy person"
[03:00] <Erwin> "I grew up around them dude. They're like the nicest girls out there." Erwin frowns. "They better be alright."
[03:00] <Roy> Oh, I guess we're done. Will you be alright ms fairy?
[03:00] * Vanilla scans over the surroundings one last time. (+2)
[03:00] <Albin_> "Thank you for your story, Miss Fairy, we really appreciate it.
[03:00] <@Illcushion> Amidst all the conversation, it seems the fairy has been misplaced!
[03:00] <@Illcushion> Where oh where could she even be? Does it matter? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!
[03:01] <Roy> huh? where did she go?
[03:01] <Mack_Swain> Who cares
[03:01] <Mack_Swain>  I've met enough mythological creatuers for one day
[03:01] <Vanilla> That fairy will be fine.
[03:01] <Vanilla> She lived in a jar for six yeras.
[03:01] <Vanilla> years*
[03:01] <@Illcushion> Vanilla notices a weird patch of grass near the corral. It seems to have some poop on it. Mystery solved.
[03:01] <Albin_> "I'm still kinda worried"
[03:02] <Roy> Wow. I can't believe we met a real fairy. It looked just like my marionette
[03:02] <Vanilla> Hey Erwin, look, fresh sheep girl manure. Mystery solved, they're fine.
[03:02] * Roy shuffles around in his back pack and fishes out a fairy puppet
[03:02] * Erwin allows himself a fist pump. "Score! I'll be sure to come talk with them later."
[03:03] <Mack_Swain> What is his issue?
[03:03] * Roy he plays with it a bit "Haha! See!
[03:03] <Albin_> "What is it, Roy?"
[03:04] * Vanilla thinks "I feel like I'm babysitting these kids."
[03:04] * Roy makes the fairy puppet dance (I'm rolling for deciet because fug it (+1))
[03:04] <Mack_Swain> Alright. I'm going back.
[03:04] * Mack_Swain walks back into the forest.
[03:05] * Erwin follows!
[03:05] <@Illcushion> The group makes like a tree and leaves.
[03:05] <Vanilla> You guys should follow.
[03:05] * Vanilla follows Mack
[03:05] <Roy> H-hey guys! wait up
[03:05] * Albin_ gets out of there, but still worries about the fairy.
[03:05] * Mack_Swain mutters "when I get back I'm asking for dynamite. Lots of dynamite."
[03:06] * Vanilla treks through the forest on the path back to the town.
[03:06] <@Illcushion> The group manages to make it through the forest and back to town with no hiccups whatsoever! They also say hi to the mandragora because why not.
[03:07] <@Illcushion> (Action!)
[03:08] <Vanilla> Well time to report our findings to the elder.
[03:08] <Albin_> "Agreed."
[03:08] <Roy> We're back in town already? Guess it doesn't take as long when a giant spider lady doesn't attack you
[03:08] * Mack_Swain heads towards the elder's hut
[03:08] * Vanilla walks leisurely to the elder's hut
[03:09] * Roy follows the group because why not
[03:09] * Albin_ takes his cap off and timidly enters.
[03:09] * Erwin follows while waving to his many fans.
[03:09] <@Illcushion> The elder receives everyone inside with open arms, except for Erwin, who he hugs.
[03:10] <@Illcushion> "So tell me, heroes! What have you found out about the golem and the barn?"
[03:10] <Albin_> "Well, sir, we have found out that the wizard was not working alone."
[03:10] <Vanilla> We found a barn in ruins, devoid of any life save for a fairy trapped in a feather.
[03:11] <@Illcushion> "... How was a fairy trapped in a feather?"
[03:11] <Vanilla> Don't ask me.
[03:11] <@Illcushion> "Er, nevermind. So the wizard wasn't working alone? Please, go on."
[03:11] <Albin_> "It really does not matter right now, sir. But the troubling knews are, she had lots of helpers."
[03:11] * Erwin nods as his friends recount their daring adventure.
[03:11] <Albin_> "People who all knew rune magic."
[03:12] <Vanilla> The fairy said she had been held captive for the last six years. There were lots of people in the same coats as the lady running around and painting ruins on big rocks.
[03:12] <Vanilla> That's basically the whole story.
[03:12] <@Illcushion> "Oh... oh oh oh! That's very troubling indeed."
[03:13] <@Illcushion> "Was there anyone at the site? Anyone you could question except for... this feather-fairy?"
[03:13] <Albin_> "There's no signs of anyone."
[03:13] <Albin_> "Well, we did find some signs of the sheepgirls, but they were... um...."
[03:13] <Erwin> "Busy."
[03:14] <Albin_> "They weren't there."
[03:14] <@Illcushion> "Hrm... I hope they... ran away." The chief grimaces, his expression turning into one of sadness.
[03:15] <Roy> Say, mister elder, are you sure you don't know anything else about what's going on there? (empathy roll? (-4 oh god damn it))
[03:15] <Erwin> "It's alright! I'll go back later and have a better look around for them."
[03:15] <Mack_Swain> What about the mine?
[03:16] <Vanilla> We'll do that too.
[03:16] <@Illcushion> "The mine... yes, the mine was abandoned some time ago. People went missing, miners to be precise. That's the town's main source of income other than the sheep wool we used to get from the farm."
[03:16] <Mack_Swain> Any idea what could be inside?
[03:16] <Vanilla> Even if that damned blacksmith is dead I still need his house key to get access to his grindstone.
[03:16] <@Illcushion> "No... The blacksmith took up his sword to try and slay whatever could be taking people... yet he never came back. I'll trust heroes like yourselves would like to investigate this".
[03:17] <@Illcushion> "Still... even if it's bad news, there's some relief to be found on this barn business. No one around means it should stay in disuse and disrepair. And, if we're lucky, that'll be the last thing this village will hear of giant monsters!" The chief laughs nervously.
[03:17] <Mack_Swain> Deal.
[03:17] <Vanilla> We'll investigate it.
[03:18] <Mack_Swain> Give me a healthy amount of dynamite first, though.
[03:18] <Roy> Is there anyplace we could get a map of the mine? A library, maybe?
[03:18] <@Illcushion> "Ah... about that... it seems you used it all up against the golem, as well as our streets."
[03:18] <Albin_> "Sounds allright for me, but if we could restock again, that would be great."
[03:18] <Mack_Swain> Any chance I could borrow one of your larger crossbows, then?
[03:18] <Mack_Swain> And some oil?
[03:19] <@Illcushion> "There's no map of the coal mine, but it's pretty simple and straight-forward due to clearing off any holes that didn't lead anywhere. The deepest part might be the epicenter of the trouble."
[03:20] <@Illcushion> "As for oil and crossbows, there's enough of those in the guard's armory. Just ask them. Tell them I sent you." He winks at Mack.
[03:20] <Mack_Swain> Sounds like a great place to die
[03:20] <Mack_Swain> Thank you.
[03:20] <@Illcushion> "I'll give you permission to stock up again for free, but don't abuse the privilege..." he says, with a stern yet warm face.
[03:20] <Vanilla> I can't imagine anything worse than that spider girl who stalked us in the forest.
[03:20] <Albin_> "Thank you so very much sir."
[03:21] <Albin_> *whispers* "Vanilla, you better be careful with what you're saying.
[03:21] <@Illcushion> "No, thank you, heroes! You've granted safety to this town twice already. Now I don't wish to keep you any longer, I'm sure you're busy and tired from all that walking." He motions over to the door.
[03:21] <Vanilla> *whispers back* "Why, does the elder hate spiders?"
[03:22] <Albin_> *whisper,cuz i want to* "It's more about the irony of the situation. You'll see in the mine."
[03:22] <Vanilla> I hope not.
[03:23] <@Illcushion> He ruffles Erwin's hair and whispers, "you have a fine party here, son. Take care of them".
[03:23] * Vanilla thinks "Is this elder a shotacon or something?"
[03:23] * Roy sighs and exits already
[03:23] * Mack_Swain exits behind roy
[03:24] <Erwin> "I will!" Erwin waves as he departs.
[03:24] * Albin_ gets out with a grimace.
[03:24] * Vanilla exits
[03:24] <@Illcushion> AND SO OUR FIRST SESSION ENDS.