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Vampsquirrel

The Amazing Underling Brothers Circus

Vampsquirrel
Jan 8th, 2016
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  1. [17:56] <vampsquirrel> Alright, one of the ogre just threw an imp at you, the imp fell to the ground and died, it's your turn now. You're on the ceiling.
  2. [17:58] <Akolit> You scoot away and READY yourself if one of the ogres tries to throw the other imp at you. if they try it, you plan to catch it and throw it back
  3. [17:59] <vampsquirrel> The other imp is firmly refusing to be sacrificed like the previous imp. The ogre with a surfboard starts trying to scrape you off the ceiling.
  4. [17:59] <Akolit> (anything else I can do?)
  5. [18:00] <Akolit> (eep)
  6. [18:00] <vampsquirrel> !roll 1d20+3
  7. [18:00] <vampsquirrel> shit forgot about dice.
  8. [18:00] <Akolit> kek
  9. [18:00] <vampsquirrel> Alright, roll athletics and give me your result.
  10. [18:01] <Akolit> rolled a 19
  11. [18:01] <vampsquirrel> The ogre crit failed.
  12. [18:01] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+5:
  13. [18:01] <Akolit> 14,+5
  14. [18:01] <Akolit> Total:19
  15. [18:01] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+5:
  16. [18:01] <Akolit> 14,+5
  17. [18:01] <Akolit> Total:19
  18. [18:01] <Akolit> (oops)
  19. [18:02] <vampsquirrel> The ogre swipes its surfboard at you, but overbalances, and does an acrobatic fucking pirouette knocking the imp directly into your waiting arms. You are now wielding an imp.
  20. [18:03] <Akolit> You look at the thing and hold it at arm's length.
  21. [18:03] <vampsquirrel> The other ogre is stunned at the first ogre's grace, and doesn't do anything.
  22. [18:03] <vampsquirrel> Your turn.
  23. [18:04] <Akolit> Before you feel any remorse for the small inky creature which is the size of one your beloved children you hurl it at the surfboard ogre. It is his after all
  24. [18:05] <vampsquirrel> Roll athletics.
  25. [18:05] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+5:
  26. [18:05] <Akolit> 16,+5
  27. [18:05] <Akolit> Total:21
  28. [18:07] <vampsquirrel> The imp hurtles into the ogres face, squealing in a most undignified manner. It latches onto the ogre, and begins to burn him with its acid. The ogre is too stupid to do something about this and so begins to swing its surfboard in the direction it thinks you are without removing the imp from its melting face.
  29. [18:08] <Akolit> You move away from the swings the best you can, a bit taken aback
  30. [18:08] <vampsquirrel> One of its strikes glances you, but your armor absorbs the blow so you remain unharmed.
  31. [18:09] <vampsquirrel> The knight ogre shakes its head at these shenanigans and tries to grab the imp off of the other's face.
  32. [18:10] <vampsquirrel> It succeeds in peeling off the imp, leaving behind something which can charitably be described as reminding one of a wax figure which has been exposed to large amounts of heat. It looks at the imp, who has continued to squeal this whole time, before grunting and hurling the imp back up at you.
  33. [18:11] <Akolit> (ew)
  34. [18:11] <vampsquirrel> The imp slams into you, dealing 1 damage from the impact and splattering some of its acid onto you. It then flops back onto the floor and explodes with a wet noise. You take 1 damage from the acid, your turn.
  35. [18:12] <Akolit> You scurry down to the ground and take a swing at the blinded ogre. Or you think it is blind
  36. [18:12] <Akolit> (16/29)
  37. [18:12] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+3:
  38. [18:12] <Akolit> 17,+3
  39. [18:12] <Akolit> Total:20
  40. [18:13] <vampsquirrel> Roll damage.
  41. [18:13] <Akolit> Roll(1d6)+3:
  42. [18:13] <Akolit> 5,+3
  43. [18:13] <Akolit> Total:8
  44. [18:14] <vampsquirrel> Your fist slams into the partially undead, partially melted ogre, knocking off a fair chunk of its leg.
  45. [18:14] <Akolit> okay minor swing goooo
  46. [18:15] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+3:
  47. [18:15] <Akolit> 11,+3
  48. [18:15] <Akolit> Total:14
  49. [18:15] <vampsquirrel> Roll damage.
  50. [18:15] <Akolit> Roll(1d6)+0:
  51. [18:15] <Akolit> 5,+0
  52. [18:15] <Akolit> Total:5
  53. [18:15] <Akolit> (do I still have a move?)
  54. [18:17] <vampsquirrel> Your other fist slams into the ogre, dealing 5 damage.
  55. [18:17] <vampsquirrel> You still have half a move left.
  56. [18:18] <Akolit> You away from the pair a bit more, trying to get in an angle that the surfboard ogre may mistake its companion for you. after all it is a dark cave and... worth a shot
  57. [18:20] <vampsquirrel> Alright, roll deception.
  58. [18:20] <Akolit> (CHR roll :::^y)
  59. [18:20] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+-1:
  60. [18:20] <Akolit> 13,+-1
  61. [18:20] <Akolit> Total:12
  62. [18:21] <vampsquirrel> You move back into the shadows making it harder for the ogre to tell friend from foe, this is particularly effective because this ogre's dumb as a stump and has a mostly melted face.
  63. [18:21] <Akolit> (teehee)
  64. [18:22] <vampsquirrel> It poses for a moment, surfboard cocked back behind it, pointing directly at the other ogre, like troll Babe Ruth calling his shot, and then hurls its surfboard forward.
  65. [18:23] == Vorpas [[email protected]] has joined #rpgstuck_potatopancakeparty
  66. [18:23] == Vorpas has changed nick to Vorpas[spectato]
  67. [18:23] <Akolit> ( :::3 )
  68. [18:23] <vampsquirrel> The surfboard flies directly into the other ogre, slamming into it for 8 damage.
  69. [18:23] <Vorpas[spectato]> { :[] }
  70. [18:24] <vampsquirrel> The armored ogre groans a long suffering sigh at its companion, as though this is a common occurrence.
  71. [18:24] <vampsquirrel> It then grabs the surfboard and swings it down at you.
  72. [18:24] <Akolit> !!!!!!
  73. [18:25] <vampsquirrel> You manage to dodge out of the boards way, it is clearly being wielded by one inexperienced in the art of surfboard-fu.
  74. [18:25] <vampsquirrel> Your turn again.
  75. [18:25] == Nos_The_Person [[email protected]] has joined #rpgstuck_potatopancakeparty
  76. [18:26] <Akolit> You move to attack the armored ogre as the other is now without a weapon and still cannt see
  77. [18:26] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+3:
  78. [18:26] <Akolit> 20,+3
  79. [18:26] <Akolit> Total:23
  80. [18:26] <vampsquirrel> Roll double damage dice.
  81. [18:27] <Akolit> Roll(2d6)+3:
  82. [18:27] <Akolit> 3,6,+3
  83. [18:27] <Akolit> Total:12
  84. [18:28] <vampsquirrel> Your fist critically hits the ogre, damaging its armor so badly its ac goes down by 1 and dealing 12 damage.
  85. [18:28] <Akolit> minor punch to the knight ogre
  86. [18:28] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+3:
  87. [18:28] <Akolit> 8,+3
  88. [18:28] <Akolit> Total:11
  89. [18:28] <vampsquirrel> Roll damage.
  90. [18:29] <Akolit> Roll(1d6)+0:
  91. [18:29] <Akolit> 3,+0
  92. [18:29] <Akolit> Total:3
  93. [18:29] <vampsquirrel> Your next hit isn't as potent, but by no means harmless, dealing 3 damage to the ogre's now revealed unarmored body.
  94. [18:30] <Akolit> You move up to the ceiling, remembering that was a good idea
  95. [18:31] <vampsquirrel> End turn?
  96. [18:31] <Akolit> oh yes haha
  97. [18:32] <vampsquirrel> Something in the air shifts, the ogre's eyes narrow, and one thing becomes obvious. They're serious now.
  98. [18:32] <Akolit> Your faceplate, though battered and dented remains the same unyielding stare. You're always serious
  99. [18:33] <Akolit> (./counteredge)
  100. [18:34] == Nos_The_Person [[email protected]] has quit [Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client]
  101. [18:34] <vampsquirrel> The armored ogre puts its fingers in its mouth and whistles before squatting down. The other ogre perks up and charges forward, before leaping into a flip onto the other ogre's shoulders. The armored ogre straightens up and jumps forward, spinning in the air, so that the two form into a horrifying rotating ogre stack. They're trying to bodyslam you, against gravity.
  102. [18:34] <Akolit> (what in the shit)
  103. [18:36] == Nos_The_Person [[email protected]] has joined #rpgstuck_potatopancakeparty
  104. [18:36] <vampsquirrel> The ogre's spin rapidly, gaining momentum against all odds, before launching the undead one up into you on the ceiling, slamming into you for 9 damage. The ogre fails to stick the landing, and falls directly on its compatriot dealing 9 damage to the armored ogre as well, and rendering the two of them prone in a pile on the ground.
  105. [18:37] <Akolit> (7/29)
  106. [18:37] <vampsquirrel> Your turn.
  107. [18:37] <Akolit> You are pretty dazed by the remarkable display of teamwork
  108. [18:38] <Akolit> However not enough to show off your own special trick
  109. [18:38] <Akolit> [OVERDRIVE]
  110. [18:38] == Vorpy [[email protected]] has joined #rpgstuck_potatopancakeparty
  111. [18:38] <Akolit> Roll(1d2)+0:
  112. [18:38] <Akolit> 2,+0
  113. [18:38] <Akolit> Total:2
  114. [18:39] == Vorpas[spectato] [[email protected]] has quit [Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client]
  115. [18:39] == Nos_The_Person [[email protected]] has quit [Client Quit]
  116. [18:40] <Akolit> Roll(1d20)+5:
  117. [18:40] <Akolit> 20,+5
  118. [18:40] <Akolit> Total:25
  119. [18:41] <Akolit> You first swing goes to the ogre on top
  120. [18:41] <vampsquirrel> Y'know what, you can just describe killing them both, there's almost no way they could survive this anyways.
  121. [18:44] <Akolit> You swing as hard as you can down, hearing a wet crunch only makes it all the more tempting to rain down more blows. You punch more and more until the crack of bone and the cries from the ogres stop. You take a few steps back a bit alarmed from your own works then bow to the broken bodies before they turn into gushers. "Th6nk you.Your s6crifice wil
  122. [18:44] <Akolit> l m6ke our children s6fer." You switch your HUD to coms.r.
  123. [18:45] <Akolit> "M6S. T6r9ets elimin6ted."
  124. [18:46] <vampsquirrel> "Good, gather their grist and return to me."
  125. [18:47] <vampsquirrel> You receive 60 exp from this, as well as some number of grist I'll tell you in your next post.
  126. [18:47] <vampsquirrel> ===END===
  127. [18:47] <Akolit> "Understood. This should be enou9h for a T2 system."
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