a guest Jan 25th, 2020 68 Never
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- by applying a thin layer of mud above and below the eyes. You can also take a long leaf and cut a long, thin viewing slit in it, and tie it over the eyes.
- (I also use similar things for Dwarven companions who are unused to the sun, though I don't let them know where I learned it. It's also surprisingly handy for traversing through arctic regions, where the sun can reflect off the snow and cause a terrible glare.)
- I'd like to digress for a moment to tell two stories. If you've been paying attention to this chapter at all, you know just how much I love kobolds. But they also present certain advantages and disadvantages.
- I was traveling through an area with a pack, when we realized that we'd have to stay at an inn. After informing my companions of my plan (and explaining it to the kobolds; always explain your plans to kobolds, as I'll explain later) I entered and informed the inkeep of my party's intent to stay... and the fact that I had some unusual guests. My silver was more than enough to convince him, though he soon regretted it as everyone entered.
- I do suspect he raised the price on food, but I had already accepted that it would happen.
- I was prepared for the inevitable. You don't bring twenty kobolds into a human inn without some trouble arising. Old wounds hurt the worst when seeing the race that inflicted them, and not all wounds are physical. When one guest raised a fuss over the "filthy lizards" I was forced into action, challenging the brutish man to a duel.
- Now, my dear readers, I don't look like much. Most people believe that I am easily taken in a fight. Most people are wrong; I have not lived this long without a degree of prowess. So the entire inn watched through the windows and doors as I pinned him to the ground, my arm wrapped around his neck, as I patiently explained the principles of sacred hospitality to him.
- I did not explain for his sake. I already had him cowed. I did it for the sake of the kobolds, who had never encountered such a concept before, and for the sake of the other patrons. The kobolds learned an important lesson that day on proper behavior in human lands, and for the patrons? A display of power while showing continual politeness in a gentle voice makes a person cautious. If they are that capable while calm, imagine how they must be when angry.
- However, not all inns are the same. I was taking a pack of younglings to a village that I know of which is friendly to humans despite its population consisting mainly of kobolds. To get there, we had to cut through a tiny bit of Elvish lands. Nothing too difficult, only a day's journey. However, we would be forced to stay in an inn. I'll never understand why a race like that will spend five years hand-carving such an intricate design into a simple doorway, but elves will do as elves do.
- Ah, you're expecting a repeat of the last story! I am sorry to disappoint you.
- We all drew inside, and the children were confused over everything. So I gathered them together and began to tell them all about elves. Now, one should never speak knowledge gained second-hand as truth. Do you know that it's true, or do you know that the person who told you made you believe that it's true?
- So I started each portion of the lesson with such lines as "I've been told" or "The stories say" or some blather like that. Everything that I said was close to the truth, but wasn't quite. I chose what I said carefully so that it would be lacking. It wasn't long before an elf interrupted me, settling down to teach an inferior race the truth about the elves.
- Which was exactly what I wanted in the first place. We spent the rest of the night listening to her weave tales and educate the enraptured children in the history and culture of the elves. The elf, why, she got to be all smug and superior, as elves are want to be. The children? They got to be entertained by her enchanting voice, hanging on her every word.
- And myself? I got to eat my meal without having to keep an eye on the children or answer a million questions.
- So, as you see, should you travel with kobolds, you should always think about them and how those around you will perceive them. Are they a nuisance? Or are they something to be tolerated as much as any other race?
- However, when you plan, you should always involve the kobolds in your plan. At least the general outline. They come from a society where community plays a role in all planning, and keeping a secret from them can
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