access denied | bultaoreutae

     ACCESS DENIED | BULTAOREUTAE




            —   나는너를더이상싶지않아
           “idontwannabeyouanymore”

» wattpad user & name i can call you by: bultaoreutae - angela

» slot: lambo

» backup slot: babyboy


» birth name:
- yoo ilseong

» nicknames for slot/who calls them that:
- seongie : venus and rolex will call him this on occasion, as a term of endearment.
- il: this is used by mars and babyboy all the time, whether it be during casual conversation or high stress situations.

» birthdate and age:
- november 25, 1998 | 19 years old

» birthplace:
- andong, south korea


» height:
- 177 cm | 5' 10"

» weight:
- 66 kg | 145 lb



            —   배꼽 통증
           “bellyache”

» face claim:
- @too_morrow_

» backup face claim:
- @d.onk


» body type:
- skinny, but in an andrew garfield kind of way, with slight muscles.

» notable scars/birthmarks:
- a beauty mark on the ring finger of his right hand, another beauty mark on the back of his left forearm, and a scar  from knee to mid calf on the back of his right leg.

» outfit:
- a red hoodie that he's had for years, torn up and filled with holes, old blue jeans, and no shoes. just socks.

» other bodily accessories:
- harry potter glasses, and his father's old wedding band.



            —   인질
           “hostage”

» personality:

yoo ilseong is perhaps one of the most awkward people you'll ever meet. he usually tries to keep his self-humiliation at a low, giving off the facade that he is one hundred percent chill all the time, but in reality, he's internally panicking. he doesn't like where he and the others are at right now- he doesn't trust it. he's paranoid, really. he can't sleep at night, and he's slightly disoriented during the day- it kinda makes him look like a crazy person to the others.

he doesn't know how to read social cues, his speech is robotic and deadpanned, his mannerisms are just a little bit weird, and he can't hold a conversation for his life. all this can lead to him coming off as insensitive or rude, but he's really not. he actually began to love and care about the others, as he got to know them. he wants them to be safe. he won't say it out loud,!but he's really scared for them. yeah, he's definitely the softest one there.

when the others aren't looking, he strives for perfection- coming up with the perfect joke, making sure he stays out of the way, trying his best to seem a bit more normal. he'll even make promises that he knows he won't be able to keep for them- as long as they're smiling, that's enough for him.

he's hilarious when he wants to be. he definitely the funniest out of all of them, even when he's not trying. he could just look at you, and you'd start to chuckle. he just gives off this joy, you know? he just makes you happy, even when he doesn't know how to. his presence is comforting, like a teddy bear, or a trusted sibling.


» family:

- yoo hana, mother, 3, 46
- yoo jungsoo, father, 1, 50
- yoo changwon, brother, 1, 23
- yoo sungyeon, sister, 10, 20

» background:

the first eleven years of yoo ilseong's life were pretty good. not perfect, mind you, but livable. his father was kind, and sober, and made a decent living as a freelance carpenter. his brother was in his room all the time, minding his own business, but would lend him a video game once in a blue moon. his sister played with him when he asked. his mom worked normal hours. things were good.

but then, 2010 happened. also known as the worst year in yoo family history.

ilseong's father lost his left hand during a power saw accident. it was ironic, how it happened to be the hand that his wedding ring rested upon, because two months later, his parents divorced. turned out that his mother's 'normal hours' weren't so normal- she would set aside some time for her lover every day, right behind her family's backs.

and, at the end of the year, yoo ilseong was diagnosed with asperger syndrome.

all of this, naturally, turned his life to shit.

it shouldn't have. he should have had two loving and understanding parents standing by his side, and a brother who was willing to fend off anyone who dared to mock him because of his autism.

this was not the case.

his brother, changwon, was the biggest asshole he had ever known. no school bully could compare to the torment his own flesh and blood gave him every day- the abuse, the neglect, the fear. he stopped giving video games and started giving punches. ilseong figured it was his way of taking out his anger towards their

his parents didn't know- well, his mother didn't. she was an assistant for a tech firm, always working, always trying to get a promotion…she spent most of her days and nights in the office, falling asleep at her desk. she paid for his medicines and kissed him on the cheek before she left for work, but besides that? she was a stranger.

and ilseong's father? he sided with his eldest son.

he thought that, if he was hit hard enough, his autism would fall out of him. as if asperger syndrome was something that could be physically removed.

ilseong was no stranger to beatings.

the only person in his family who had truly cared about him? his sister, sungyeon.

it tore her up, the way her younger brother was treated, and she would do anything she could to keep him safe: she hid him when their father came home in the god forsaken hours of the morning, stumbling down the hallway. she threatened changwon with calls to mom when he got too close to the youngest.

she was like an angel to him, a safe haven. the younger would run to her in times of trouble, falling asleep with her in bed and sticking to her like glue. sungyeon would sit with him at lunch, yelling at anyone who dared to even look at him the wrong way.

for three years, she protected him. but she knew that it wouldn't be enough.

"ilseong," she had said one day as they boarded the bus, "i'm gonna get a job."

"what? why?"

"i saw an ad in the paper for this martial arts program. i want you to enter, but it costs $15 dollars a week, and dad's not gonna give us that money. so i'm getting a job."

"wait," ilseong's eyes widened as he sat down, "you want-"

"i want you to learn how to defend yourself," she deadpanned, "and i wanna get you more therapy, too. you need that stuff, and mom's doing what she can, but it's not enough. you know that."

"yeah. i do."

"exactly." sungyeon sighed,  changwon's not going to college. not with his grades. what happens when i leave? when you're left alone with him and dad? you have to learn to fight."

"but my aspergers- my motor skills are-"

sungyeon have him a look so sharp that he immediately shut his mouth, mumbling a 'sorry' underneath his breath.

"don't you dare let your condition become your excuse. ever. you hear me? you can do anything you put your mind to, ilseong. you're invincible. i believe in you."

he didn't know it then, but those words would stick with him for the rest of his life.

sungyeon got hired as a cashier at the gas station a few blocks from their house- the only place that hired people her age. thanks to her, he was able to learn how to fight.

his instructor was a hard man named han, who didn't seem to care if he was motor impaired or not. all he cared about was making him stronger- making him agile.

"harder. hit harder."

"i can't, han-"

"hit harder! no excuse! hit harder!" the old man would yell. "go faster! push! no excuse! you can do it!"

han soon became ilseong's strongest male role model, and he looked up to him with everything he was.

him, his sister, and han were the real family. he would take them in when things at home got too hard- when their father was too drunk to function. and when sungyeon left for college, ilseong was able to manage just fine.

when he got that acceptance letter from seoul university during his last year of high school, he left first chance he got.

(his father tried to stop him, tried to tell him that he wasn't good enough, smart enough for such a school. but his didn't listen, and he didn't care.)

he was going to prosper. aspergers and all.

» current status: a sophomore in college.


[ L I S T  F O R M ]

» interests/hobbies:

    > computer software
    > animated television shows
    > comics
    > architecture

» dislikes/fears:

    > not being enough
    > the likeliness that he could fail
    > reflecting on his past
    > being dead weight

all of these fears and insecurities holds ilseong back from doing everything he truly can in the group. refusing to reflect on his past keeps him from learning from it, causing him to make repetitive mistakes often.

» skills/attributes:

    > he's a whole martial artist, as mentioned before
    > can start fires with two sticks
    > hiding (he got a lot of practice as a child)
    > running for long periods of time

» trivia/other facts:

    > he can eat five large bowls of naengmyeon in eight minutes
    > he likes boy groups, mainly pentagon
    > he hates sports. he always gets hurt playing them.
    > he loves books, and reads them whenever he can
    > he doesn't get memes. he doesn't want to get memes.
    > he was ranked 18th in his school of 235 when it came to grades.
    > high school actually was one of his favorite times in life. things got a lot better for him then.



            —   모방자
           “copycat”

[ O P T I O N A L ]

» mental diseases/disorders/illnesses:

- ASPERGER SYNDROME is a form of autism that that can affect one's ability to properly socialize/communicate with others. there are many symptoms for this syndrome, but the most recognizable are: robotic and repetitive speech, compulsive behavior, social isolation, poor coordination, anxiety, and so on. people with asperger syndrome latch on to certain tasks very quickly, taking an intense- and almost obsessive- interest in them. they can also be sensitive to sound. ilseong fights everyday to work against this syndrome, telling jokes that he's memorized and staying close to the others. even if it scares him sometimes.


» physical disorders:

- he will sometimes have awkward delays in movement, as a side effect of his aspergers. he's had it since birth.

» mini playlist for your slot:

- stronger than ever | raleigh ritchie
- sun and moon | nct 127
- bone and tissue | gallant


[ Q & A ]

» can they lift heavy objects?
not really, no. ilseong has a bit of strength, but not enough to lift super heavy things. he can lift other people, though, as long as their small.

» can they run fast?
not fast, no. but he can run for, seriously, whole minutes without stopping.

» can they handle pain?
yes! it's kind of sad, how he learned to handle pain tolerance, but it is how it is. it doesn't really faze him all that much when he's hit.

» can they see blood?
n o. no. don't. he doesn't know what it is about blood, but the sight of it triggers him. it makes him want to cry.

» what are their beliefs?
the golden rule. treat others the way you want to be treated. simple. he believes, if everyone did that, there would be no problems on the earth.

» what’s their motivation?
he wants to see his sister again. he wants to show her how great he has become, what her support did to him. he has to get out of the city so he can finish school and become an engineer- something he's always wanted to be. so, his motivation is the future he wants for himself.

» what’s their breaking point?
being shouted at, for way too long. han would do this sometimes, when h couldn't get a move right, and it would shut him down. he is sensitive to sound; he can take the noise sometimes, if he braces himself. but, if someone he loves/trusts is bombarding him, that's the sound plus his fear of not being enough. it'll take him out.

» what do they want most?
ilseong wants to prove to his family, and to himself, that he's more than a 'disabled kid.' he's educated, and capable of more than they know. he wants to show other people like him that being different doesn't mean being wrong.



            —   바다 눈
           “ocean eyes”

» sexuality: ilseong is ace, but he still feels romantic feelings for people.


» love interest: absolutely no one. ya boy ilseong is just trying to make it out alive.

» how they act/feel toward each other: n/a

» scene suggestions with love interest: n/a

» character they are closest to:

- SUGARCOAT. ilseong lives for the attention, man. especially sugarcoat's. the other is always there, always willing to laugh at a joke or to improve ilseong's day with a (horrible) pick up line. it makes him feel like he's not stupid for

» character they are the least closest to:

- QUEENIE. she frightens him just a little, to be honest. ilseong wonders if she even knows what a smile is- he tries his hardest to be the mood maker, to make their situation a little bit more bearable, but queenie is just...this immovable force. the guy feels like he's not cheering her up at all- he's probably just pissing her off. so he keeps his distance.

» scene suggestions with group: [brownie points for detail and creativity. does not have to be with specifically your slot, min. 3]

    > perhaps there can be 'glitches' in the city that only certain members of the group notice, that suggest that nothing in their reality is even real. like, they'll catch a glimpse of a lab room, but then they'll blink and suddenly they're back in the city, as if what they saw never even existed.
    > a scene where sugarcoat is attempting to charm queenie, only to receive a cold glare and a shove in response.
    > when the group first meets each other, they face an obstacle that requires someone to climb a high and dangerous wall, or something of the sort. so they're all like, 'well we're screwed see you in the afterlife.' none of them expect little manner to pull a wendy wu: homecoming warrior and scale up the wall like it's nothing, helping them all cross over.



            —   내 소년
           “my boy”

» message to me: ily very much and i hope your day has been wonderful :)

» kik user: i don't use kik, but my kakaotalk is anqela!

» password: jjang jjang

» any other important information: i really tried lol. i'm so sorry that it took me so long.

» you’re done! let out a deep breath and stretch out your hands, you’ve done a lot today!