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- >Trips for trip
- >Human
- >Outlaw
- >Super-strength
- >Full Recollection
- >Civilization
- >Powerfist
- >Ranged Weapon/Bullet Hell
- >"Hey! Hey, Ape-thing!"
- "Hrmmff, Hm?"
- >You grumble drowsily in half-slumber, convincing yourself the gravelly voice was a part of some waking-dream..
- >Until the gravelly voice became accompanied by a swift kick in the side.
- >"Ape-thing! I told you to get up!"
- >You open your eyes irritably, turning over to face whatever just kicked you--
- >And was shocked to see a gruff, generic male backgroundpony, sternly staring at you and flanked by a pair of equally-generic, equally stern palette-swaps.
- >"There we go. Now I want you to listen carefully, Ape-thing! By order of Princess Twilight Sparkle, I hereby place you under arrest--"
- >What the fuck did he just say?
- "What the buck did you just say?!"
- >What the Hell? Did you just censor yourself?!
- "What the Hay? Did I just censor myself?!"
- >Yes you did, apparently..
- >"Stop talking nonsense, Ape!" The background-stallion continued snarkily. "I was saying, you have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and wi--"
- "You'd better back the buck up,"
- >You mutter crawling to your feet.
- >The take a cautious step back: you literally tower over them..
- >The big one only comes about to your waist. And he's shaking like a leaf.
- >"Uhh.. c-can and will be used ag-gain you in your Royal C-court--"
- "Hold on! On what charges?"
- >The pony--you're guessing by the purple star-motif'd livery and pseudo-metallic helmet, this stallion is some manner of royal guard for Twilight...
- >Odd, that was never in the show..
- >What the Hell kind of dream is this?
- >--the pony gulps, his adam's apple bobbing visibly. "C-crimes against the the Realm of Equestria..."
- "Those are vague charges, got anything else?"
- >"The R-realm of Equestria, The Royal Court of Canterlot, and all of Pony-kind."
- >What a load of trumped-up, bullshit...
- "...hogwash charges! I want a lawyer, now!"
- >"This isn't working, Chief.." One of the backup-ponies stammers meekly.
- >"No kidding.."
- >You take a step forward: you have an intimidation-factor on them, might as well use it.
- "Take me to Princess Twilight. Now."
- >The head-pony shifts his gaze, and looks to his compatriots for support. He finds none.
- >Somehow he finds some gumption: "If you w-wont come quietly. We'll be authorized to use f-force!"
- >Uh-huh..
- >"You'll b-be taken to the Ponyville Jail, to await trial in Canterlot.."
- "Excuse me?"
- >"I s-said--" the stallion says, find a few more of his stones, "You're coming with us, one w-way or an-nother!"
- "Take me to Princess Twilight."
- >"To Hay with this!" the second subordinate-pony snorts.
- >He lowers his head and charges at you in a leap.
- >Instinctively you raise your right arm to block the kick--
- >To a resounding clang, a clarion-clear sound of hoof-on-metal.
- >To your surprise, the pony flies back several meters from the simple, instinctive block.
- >You look down in shock at your hand
- >Sure you didn't
- "What the buck is this thing?"
- >The ponies seemed equally-shocked.
- >Except the one who charged you,
- >From the cloud of dust he'd landed in, you can only make out a delirious groaning sound.
- >"H-he wasn't even trying to hit Copper!" The first deputy cried.
- >"At-at ease, Rookie!" Chief grunted, lowered into a defensive posture.
- >But there was fear in his voice.
- >The fear of someone who knew he was outmatched.
- >"If we move tog-gether, he can't hit us both.."
- >You furrow your brow, taking a step back and raising your..whatever it is.. protectively in front of you.
- >Fuck Friendship.
- >You will not go quietly into the Night!
- "You want me?"
- >The ponies circle you slowly, warily eyeing your posture for openings..
- "Come and take me, then.."
- >The deputy-pony whinnys a challenge, and rushes towards you in a clumsy attempt to grapple.
- >You bat him away, with much the same effect as before.
- >He utters a terrifying shriek as he sails into the distance.
- >Like, out-of-sight in the distance.
- >This monstrosity on your arm is a literal murder-machine!
- >But about then you feel a sharp stab of pain in your side.
- >You turn, and notice Chief with a wry smirk on his face.
- >Only then do you register the brightly-glowing horn on his head.
- >How did you not see he was a unicorn?
- >Jackass.
- >Well, apparently super-size and super-strength means diddly against magic.
- >Because he zaps you once more, and it most-definitely hurts like a bitch!
- "Gyah! Knock it off, you motherbu-!"
- >*ZAP!*
- >That one caught you in the stomach, and actually brought you to a knee.
- >"So, the Ape is weak to magic..."
- >Groaning, you reach to your side, feeling where the magic had struck you..
- >Only then did you notice the bulky weight of something attached to your hip, situated just below where Chief had blasted you.
- >It was a pistol.
- >A massive pistol
- >A proverbial showstopper.
- >You left hand wrapped around the grip and brought it to bear, levelling it at Chief.
- "Go ahead,"
- >You snarl through the pain.
- >The Chief narrows his eyes, and the glow of his horn intensifies to a bright flare.
- "...Make my day."
- >To the naked eye, it would look like the shots came simultaneously.
- >But by the way he reeled from the blow, and the rush of wind past your face as the shot sailed wide?
- >Well, who could really say?
- >And 'reeled' was such a paltry word..
- >It was more like 'was thrown backwards six feet, in several pieces.'
- >You gawp at the visceral mess for a minute.
- >You had just killed a pony.
- "Holy buck..."
- >Well, they definitely weren't gonna take you to Twilight, now.
- >You'd be lucky to be taken to a morgue, after that showdown..
- >With a groan from the after-effects of the magic, you climb to you feet and assess the situation...
- >As it stood: here was the predicament at hand...
- >You had three lawponies: one unconscious, one MIA, and one sprawled out in gooey chunks before you.
- >These lawponies knew who you were, and approached you with every intent of clapping you in irons.
- >They had refused you audience with the Princess, effectively silencing you from defending yourself to the local authority.
- >By all rights it had sounded like they were preparing to drag you into Kangaroo-Court...
- >They had responded with lethal force when you defended yourself.
- >It was like Zimmerman-versus-Trayvon,
- >Except Trayvon had a power-gauntlet, hulk-strength, and a goddamned elephant-pistol.
- >And Zimmerman was blown to Celestia-knows-where, at the business end of said pistol.
- >Well, whatever the case. You weren't going to be holding hands and singing kumbayah with the ponies, now.
- >Time to think of another solution...
- <ambient stomach-rumbling noises>
- >...After you'd found some means of sustenance.
- >Grumbling, you stumble about the streets and take in what you can of the layout.
- >It was dark, the wide avenues lit by dim flickering streetlamps and ambient moonlight, alone.
- >Nopony, apart from the ones you'd just geeked, seemed to be about.
- >You would think the streets would be swarming in investigation of your pistol's report..
- >But it seemed Providence rode with you, tonight.
- >Moreso. because you were quick to find someponies' garden, absolutely swollen with ripe berries and roots.
- >You help yourself to a fistful of grapes and radishes. The sweetness of the grapes complimented nicely by the earthy tartness of the radish.
- >Perhaps you were a bit loud in your digging, because there within the townhouse whose garden you had rummaged through came a light and clattering.
- >"Who's out there?" came a lilting voice.
- >The door opened, and a sleepy-eyed mare peered out at you.
- >Her eyes grew wide, and her jaw dropped with a comical needlescratch sound-effect.
- >The two of you lock eyes for several heartbeats...
- >...Before the pony released an ear-piercing, earth-shattering wail that resonated the whole background.
- >After several seconds of rumbling aftershock--damned cartoon-physics--you compose yourself enough to gather what provisions you've collected into your ruck.
- >"Thief! Mutant! Ahh, Mmm-mutant-thief!!!"
- >The pony screeches in a voice that could shatter glass.
- >The bitch has pipes, you couldn't deny that.
- >Those pipes were waking up the whole town, though. Lights were flickering on all everywhere in sight.
- >You had to shut her up..
- >Pulling free your pistol you aimed at the roof above Her, somewhere around the second story..
- >*clickBLAM!*
- >A visible hole appears in the roof, wherea smaller foal's head peers out in curiosity at the intrusion.
- >That shut her up, though: she *eeps* and flees back indoors.
- >Leaving you to your ill-gotten consumables.
- >Time to beat feet, Anon!
- >Tossing the ruck over you shoulder you randomly select a direction and flee into the night.
- >Celestia have mercy on any whom cross you..
- >You were fortunate.
- >The direction you had chosen not only led out of town, but into the telltale hills and orchards of Sweet Apple Acres.
- >From what you'd remembered of the program; the Apple Farm was massive.
- >Plenty of space to lose oneself, and plenty of food just lying around.
- >You did feel kinda bad about stealing food, especially from Based Applehips..
- >But then why didn't you feel bad about dusting off that lawpony?
- >Oh, yeah.
- >Because he was all-but-prepared to throw you to the legal wolves.
- >Which begged the question...
- "Why the buck am I a wanted man!?"
- >In the distance, a dog howls, and you hear the distant echo of a dulcet voice: the sweet susurrus of your orange-coated southern-belle-pone...
- >"Whut in tarnation's got into ya, Winona?"
- >Ffffff-
- >"Okay! Okay! You lead tha way, then!"
- >One thing was sure: you weren't going to let Applejack catch you..
- >A badass you might be, but you didn't think you had it in you to go toe-to-hoof with the Element of Honesty...
- >To say nothing of all the time's you'd clopped to those foal-rearing hips..
- "Fucking unf..."
- >But on the other hand? Maybe if you'd managed to subdue Her, you could use her as leverage with the Princess..
- >Get a better understanding of this topsy-turvy Equestria..
- >You just had to be careful.
- >The hardest part would be not accidentally-vaporizing her...
- >It was settled: you were standing your ground. >You peel away your olive-drab mil-surp winter coat you'd arrived in--
- >unbuckled the hogleg Showstopper strapped to your waist--
- >and slid the gaunt--
- "What the Hay?"
- >The mechanical monstrosity on your right arm was, for all intents and purposes, welded straight to the flesh.
- >You could feel your arm inside it. At least you thought you could..
- >Honestly, it was so snug a fit it was hard to tell where your hand ended, and the mechano-hand began..
- >Not that it mattered. Even braced with both feet you couldn't get the thing off!
- >At least it didn't affect your tactile-dexterity all that much.
- >Apart from being four times bigger than your other hand, and accruing all the problems thereof..
- >"Hang on! Hang on!.. Jeesh, Winona; ya sure are in a hurry ta git wherever yer headin'!"
- >She was getting closer...
- >You could see the slight bob of a lantern in the clear, dark gloom.
- >Not long, now..
- >Better get a feel of how strong you really were.
- >You turn to a nearby apple tree: easily thrice your height. And old and proud specimen, veteran of a hundred buckings..
- >And it only took one reduce it to splinters.
- "Holy spit!"
- >You weren't even hitting it that hard.
- >The tree looked like it'd been hit with dynamite..
- "Oh-kayyy.. So punching her is out of the question..
- >With just a bit of temerity; you grabbed a second tree and gave it a squeeze..
- >It snapped like a toothpick in your iron-grip.
- "Glob-dang it!"
- You throw a hand up to your brow and facepalm in exasperation.
- >It would take a feather-light touch to deal with Applejack..
- >"Who the Hay's out here? I hear ya foolin' around; ya better not be rustlin' no apples!"
- >Right around the corner.
- >Alright Clubber Lang..
- >Try not to kill Rocky, alright?
- >You turn towards the voice and sigh, rolling your neck and cracking your knuckles in preparation for a brawl.
- >The orange pony crests a hill and blankly stares at you, followed closely by a panting sheep-hound.
- "Applejack. Winona.."
- Sh skids to a halt about twenty feet from you: her face a rictus of fear, wonder, and anger.
- >She hunkers her forehooves and snorts fiercely. "Anon! Twilight warned me about you!"
- "You know my name, huh?"
- >"'Couse ah do! Everypony knows yer name! Yer a monster: ta be brought before the Princess on sight!"
- "Why's that? Tell me why I'm a monster; because I sure-as-spit don't know."
- >"Th-that don't make a lick ah difference!"
- >Applehips nickers in agitation, spurring Winona to a savage growl.
- >"Now are ya gonna come quietly? Or am I gonna have ta bring ya in?"
- >Applejack's emerald eyes flash dangerously, an idle hoof scraping the orchard dirt with a touch of anticipation.
- >"Ah asked ya a question, Pardner! Ya gonna co-"
- "I heard you."
- >You mutter, disdainfully turning to show the orange mare your side, circling about Her with a careful eye.
- "I'm just trying to figure something out, still. Is all."
- >From the ambiance of her discarded lantern, you see Her reach to her saddlebag, and produce a rope.
- >Now things would get interesting..
- >Twisting and looping the coiled hemp line about itself with practiced ease produced a sturdy lariat.
- >Which she took in teeth and began to swing about above her.
- >"Reffft t-hnnfff!"
- "Not till someone tells me what I did!!"
- >She swung the lariat high and center.
- >Giving you a bare second to reach out your gauntlet-ed arm and allow her to catch it.
- >"Ha!" She triumphantly cried through still-clenched teeth.
- >You braced your legs.
- >She reared Her head and yanked.
- >You moved a step, and reciprocated the favor by hooking the rope about the elbow and tugging bad.
- >With a surprised yelp She flew off her hooves, spitting the rope from her mouth before reaching you--as you'd hoped..
- >Still not a bad job: you had the rope now.
- "Ding-dong?! I'm five times you size!"
- >You snarl as you shred the rope.
- >"How did you-!?"
- "You bucking ponies don't get it, yet!"
- >You shout at her, deciding to try a different tactic than you had with the deputies.
- >Swaggering towards her you head you power-fist out to a tree--
- >Pluck it from the earth,
- >Like She might pluck a dandelion--
- >And give it a test-swing in the air.
- >But all the Casey-at-the-Bat routine, She didn't seem all that enthused.
- >Crank it, Anon.
- "You ponies can't bring me anywhere I don't want to go. You can hardly touch me! And for some reason, every single one of you wants to get dodgy when I ask what I'm charged with."
- >That got her: AJ's gaze shifts for a brief moment to the dirt.
- >You fling the solid tree into the distant skyline emphatically, wheeling on your heels taking a step towards Her.
- "All I want to know. Is why you're all treating me like a criminal."
- >"The charges were--"
- "Hog-wash."
- >You watch her pull back her lips.
- >An agitated facial tic.
- "Crimes against the Realm?Okay, but exactly how so! No one seems to know, or will share with me!"
- >By the pained and questioning look on Her face? It seemed you had Applejack all but in the palm of your hand..
- >Or.. y'know, Power-fist.
- >Now to just reel her in..
- "Look.."
- >You say, lowering you voice and walking across to an unsure-appearing orange pone.
- >You hunker onto a knee and lay your hand on Her shoulder, gently.
- "I'm confused, and maybe a little concerned. A few hours ago I thought I was in a dream.."
- >She looks up at you, her expression suggesting concern and anxiety.
- "I tried to get the Guards to take me to Princess Twilight, and they said they were going to take me to the Stockade."
- >"..."
- "So will you help me, Applejack?"
- >You say, rising to your feet.
- "Take me to Princess Twilight?Let me find out why I'm a wanted Man?"
- >If appealing to any ponies' better nature would work? It would work on Her...
- >You hoped.
- >After struggling with the query for a few moments, Applejack sighed and nodded.
- >"Fine, ah'll take ya ta go see Twilight.
- >You grin and nod.
- >"Jes'.. ah, ferget it." She mutters, scuffing a hoof in the dirt.
- >We'll head there right now."
- "Works for me."
- >Applejack sends Winona--who is still growling and yapping at you--back to the Farm.
- >And together the two of you head out back in the direction of Ponyville.
- >"Ya said ya got *no* idea how you got here?"
- "None."
- >"Ya jes' woke up, in the street, and some of Twilight's guard-ponies were trying to round ya up?"
- "That's about it, yes."
- >Speaking of guard-ponies...
- "Since when has Twi-"
- >"*Princess* Twilight," She sternly corrected.
- >Touchy about her friends, you supposed..
- "*Princess Twilight* how long has She had guards?
- >AJ cocked her head to side, giving you a quizzical look.
- >"Ah don't think ah follow yer meanin', Anonymous.."
- "I mean, Twilight didn't used to have guards. Not as of the erection of the Friendship Castle."
- >"Frie-- Y'know? Fer someone who jes' woke up in Ponyville tonight, ya sure do know a lot about us!"
- >Great.
- >Way to reveal you power-level, Asshole!
- >No way to wiggle out it, now."
- "I've been watching you all, for some time."
- >"How long are we talkin'?"
- "Since Princess Twilight first came to Ponyville."
- >"An' ya dunno when Twilight installed the Friendship Guard?"
- >So that's what they were called..
- "Nope."
- >"Well, Ah guess ya ain't as clever as ya thought.."
- >Snarky bitch..
- >You grumble, pulling up your collar against the early-morning breeze.
- >The two of you gradually reached the outskirts of Ponyville-proper, to find it in a state of moderated pandemonium.
- >Voices could be heard all across the town, and the bobbing light of various lanterns weaved throughout narrow alleys and wide avenues.
- >It looked like a search was on.
- >Three guesses who they were looking for.
- >"Ya caused quite a stir, did ya?"
- "I guess you could say I can make an entrance."
- >"Ah'm seein' that!"
- >You instinctively reach to your hand-cannon, checking to make sure it was still at your hip. And flexed the fingers of your gauntlet prepatorily.
- >You had a sinking thought that perhaps it wasn't so clever of you to come back to Ponyville...
- >"Ya sure ya wanna head down there?"
- >Was She giving you an out?
- >How sweet. But you had to see this through.
- >And Twilight was the only one who might be able to shed some light on the predicament.
- "I'm sure."
- >Applejack sighs and rolls her eyes.
- >"Well? Ah can't say Ah'm too thrilled bein' seen with ya."
- >Can't blame her.
- "Then go home, I can handle it from here."
- >Not that the other ponies would like how you 'handled' it..
- >"No can do, partner," She said with an emphatic shake of her mane. "Ah said I was gonna get ya to Twilight, an' that's what ah aim ta do."
- "Noble of you, but I'm not gonna let them take me. I will not go quiet--"
- >Wait, you already used that.
- "I'm not going out like no punk."
- >No clever remarks for that one.
- >The two of you watched the scene for a bit longer, trying to think of a way to reach the Castle without alerting the roaming patrols.
- >There didn't seem to be any pattern, other than the occasional pause when two groups ran into one another.
- >And a constant, shouting clamor as teams traded information across town.
- >And it wasn't like you could sneak in, only being a literal giant.
- >It was time to act.
- >You start your way down the shallow hillock, striding with head high.
- >Your hand snaked to the pistol at your side.
- >A last resort.
- >Behind you, Applejack trotted forward after you. "Hey! Maybe we oughta-"
- "Nah, let's get this over with.."
- >"But if they-"
- "It'll be fine."
- >She harrumphed. deigning to trot a few paces behind you.
- >Smart girl.
- >It surprised that for two block in, you didn't run into any-pony.
- >Odd the Princess didn't post sentries; you'd think She'd be smarter than that.
- >Eh: she was a bookworm, not a tactical genius.
- >And nor were you; which was why you walked straight down the middle of the street.
- At the juncture of two wide thoroughfares you encountered a band of locals, led by a guard-unicorn shining a beam of light from his horn.
- >"HOLD IT!"
- >Immediately the guard-unicorn--and every other unicorn in the gaggle--had heir horns lowered at you.
- >The rest of the group, a handful of earth-ponies and pegasi, all scattered to alert the rest of the search parties.
- >They learned their lesson last time, it seemed
- >Well then, let them come.
- >You felt the .44 skin free and aim skyward..
- >*BLAM!*
- >The report sounded for miles around, surely, and certainly got a start from the swift-gaining rabble.
- >Last time you paniced, and it ended with a law-pony meeting his end at your hand.
- >You wouldn't resort to that this time.
- >Not if it could be helped.
- >If you could scare them off, or at least keep them busy until Twilight arrived...
- >Anyway, the loud sound seemed to keep the lesser civilian-ponies at bay. But not the Guad-icorn.
- >"By the Order of Princess Twilight Sp-"
- >You had the muzzle of the handcannon leveled at him as he spoke.
- "Can it."
- >That shut the dribbling cunt up.
- "You know what this did to your Chief, right?"
- >He glared at you balefully.
- "Ask yourself, do you think your faster than me?"
- >All he could do was glower, hate filling his eyes.
- >But more were showing up, to watch the confrontation unfold.
- >"Anon what are ya--?"
- "Shut up, Applejack!"
- >You wheel about, raising the muzzle of the pistol up at a safe angle.
- "Listen up! I want to see the Princess right-bucking-now! We can all walk away from this, or I can level this whole bucking town!"
- >No one moved, not even the crickets would break the silence.
- >Finally you turned back to the grim guard whom tried you, first.
- "Who's you commanding officer, soldier?"
- >He blinked at the commanding question. "C-captain Red Diamond.."
- "Is he a fair officer? Treat his boys alright?"
- >"I.." The look on his face bespoke how little he thought of fraternizing with the the enemy.
- >But he answered all the same.
- >"I can't complain."
- "You know, I used to be like you. I ground-pounder. I know what it's like, to lay down for things bigger than you."
- >He sneered. "I don't believe you."
- >You shrug.
- "Believe whatever you want. But this isn;t your fight. You can walk away."
- >He stares at you, a grunt to the end.
- "Just walk away.."
- >He spits derisively. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll stop you here."
- "What a brave colt you are."
- >With an angry shout he flared his horn, and sent a bolt on energy at you.
- >You duck to the side, and aim a shot at the ground between his hooves.
- >The earth erupts before him, sending the stallion kicking back in a furor.
- "There's more where that came from, if you don't calm down!"
- >You hoped they took the bluff, because at the rate the guards were massing..
- >Jesus, there must be two-dozen by now, and three times the number of onlookers.
- >This would get ugly, if they tried to bumrush you.
- >And from the look on some of the faces in the crowd? The thought had crossed their mind?
- >At least Applejack was still here--
- >Applejack!
- "You need to leave, now."
- >You said to her, but She shook Her head.
- >"Not till Twilight gets here."
- >Stupid, stubborn pony...
- "Listen, this could get ugly at any second. If you don't want to see a shootout you need to leave."
- >"Ah told you, not till Twilight gets here!"
- "Ughhh.. whatever."
- >But this standoff wasn't going anywhere: it was only a matter of time until one of these ponies broke..
- >You'd hate to bring down the thunder. But it was looking more-and-more inevitable.
- >No mediators in sight, just a bunch of nervous law-ponies and one very-angry Anon.
- >It was a recipe for a bloodbath..
- >In fact, you could see some of the more-senior looking 'Friendship Guard' conferring in the back of the crowd.
- >And more unicorns mustering on the roofs of the houses, forming a crossfire-pattern..
- >They were getting ready to put you down!
- >You did the first thing you could think to do...
- >You had to act fast.
- >At the rate the Friendship Guards were assembling, it was only a matter of time until they'd act
- >Behind you, Applejack wheeled about to face the rest of crowd.
- >"Listen, everypony! He's not as bad as all that!"
- >Applejack...
- >"Okay, so he's a little.. rough around the edges.."
- >She cantered about, turning to face the entirety of the crowd as she waxed apologetic.
- >But Ah talked to Him! He don't even know what the big deal is!"
- >She trotted about in front of you, between you and the guards.
- >No, you couldn't..
- >"Ah think we just need ta give Him a chance to explain himself!
- >There was no way...
- >In the corner of your eye you saw a flare-up from one of the ponies on the roof..
- >Buck it!
- >You snatch Her up in your Gauntlet, careful to apply no pressure with Robo-fist.
- >"Hey! What the b-!?"
- "Nobody move, or I send Her to Celestia!"
- >A collective gasp arises from the crowd..
- >New low, Anon. New low..
- >Whatever, time to eat the crow.
- >You heft your handcannon at Her temple, thumbing back the hammer.
- >You take a few steps back towards one of the building about you.
- "I want the Guard in charge, now. Or Mudpony gets it!"
- >Together the assemblage retreats a step--even the guard-ponies.
- >For a tense second, everything sits quiet..
- >Finally, a grizzled and gray-haired pegasus-stallion trots forward.
- >"Captain Red Diamond, Ape. And I have to say, this is low.."
- "And to think? It all could have been avoided, if you'd just brought me to the Princess."
- >"Well, the die's been cast." He nickered with a ruffle of his wings. "I'm here. What do you want!"
- "What I've always wanted. To know that the Hay's going on."
- >"Can't tell you what I don't know myself, Ape. Just that you're wanted in Canterlot for crimes against pony-kind!
- "I swear to Glob, I'll give you a crime against pony-kind in a second!"
- >You feel you finger tense against the hammer of the .44..
- >"Stop! Stop this craziness this instant!"
- >Down from the direction of the Castle came the graceful winged form of the Princess.
- >Only about a couple hours and one get guard too late.
- >She landed in the middle of the crowd, facing you.
- >Judging by the sparks emanating from her horn and the telltale glow in her eyes, She was not happy.
- >She cantered to address the crowd after flashing that dangerous gaze. "Everypony go home, I can handle this. Captain Diamond?"
- >"Yes, Princess Twilight!"
- >"You and your guards return to the Castle, Double guard at the Gate and my meeting Chamber. I and our 'Guest will be there shortly, and I don't want any disturbances."
- >The stallion looked aghast at the order. "Princess?! Are you sure that's wise?"
- >"Maybe not," She resolutely answered. "But I do think we owe him some answers. And I think if things continue down this path any of you will be able to stop him!"
- >Smart pony.
- >"So please? Just do as I say and go back to the Castle!"
- >With some reluctance the crowd and Guards dispersed from the scene; leave you, the Princess..
- >And a trembling Applejack, holding her breath and growing clammier for the nervous sweat mating her fur.
- "Sorry about this AJ,"
- >You murmur to Her, thumbing the hammer of the pistol back.
- >She relaxes somewhat in your grip and sharply-exhales.
- >Twisting about in you hand She affixes you with an angry look. "Really? Are ya *really* sorry about sticking that.. that *thing* ta my head!?"
- "I needed some leverage, or we'd both have been swiss cheese!"
- >"Sure, whatever helps ya sleep at night."
- >"And as for *you*?!"
- >The Princess had finally gotten her attentions back around to you, after raising her proverbial dander.
- >"You're going to put my friend down now! And then you're going to come quietly with me to Friendship Castle!"
- "Of course, Princess. That's all I wanted."
- >You bend down and set the orange mare on her feet, before standing back up and sliding your iron back into it's holster--
- >--When waves of purple energy from the Princesses' Horn radiated forth, manifesting as glowing bands that interlocked around your wrists and neck.
- >As if the by magnetism, the bands about your arms raised up over your head and around the back of your neck, to connect with the one circling your throat.
- "What the Hay is this!?"
- >"I'm sorry," the Princess began placidly. "But you're far too dangerous to have walking about in full range of motion."
- "You don't think I couldn't kick this town to rubble?!"
- >"I'm giving you the dignity of using your own two ho--er, feet to make it to the Castle," She continued, a certain hard edge entering Her voice. "I could just as easily have you hogtied and brought in chains!"
- "I'm coming of my own free will, and you're treating me like a wild beast.."
- >"For all I know you're playing some long con, Anonymous! And you've already proven yourself a pony-slayer: so you should be thankful I'm choosing diplomacy at all!"
- >She had you, there.
- >You could have escaped, hit the ground running and tested Her to see just how bad these alicorn-Princesses wanted you..
- >But that meant a life on the lam, existing on the fringes of Equestrian Society.
- >Constantly on the run, one step ahead of the law and.. who knows what else...
- >Actually, that sounded like a tempting idea.
- >Twilight glared at you, with nothing but venom in Her eyes. "So? Are we going to have this talk, or will I have to restrain you further?"
- >You had had enough of these haughty ponies.
- >Pushing you around, trying to collar you without due course.
- >If they wanted to label you an outlaw?
- >Than an outlaw you would become.
- >Let's see Princess Purplecunt try and stop you..
- "Tell ya what, 'Princess'.."
- >You sneer through gritted teeth, hunkering you shoulder down and popping your neck to the side audibly.
- >Twilight trots back a pace, arching an eyebrow quizzically.
- "Let's play a game, since you seem so keen on toying with me."
- >"This is not a joke, An-"
- "We're gonna play hide-and-seek. I'll hide, and you and your Princess friends try to find me."
- >The Princess's eyes grew wide, She lowered her head with a determined growl and attempted to release another bolt of magical energy towards you..
- >You were ready, though.
- >The blast careened past you as you dodge out the way, blowing a wide hole in the house you stood before.
- >You had already rolled out of the leap and hit the ground running.
- >Even with your arms trussed behind your head, you were able to maintain a good clip. Pretty soon you had a whole block on her..
- >It was a shame She had to grow those wings.
- >All around you, divots were being shot into the ground, as she tried to knock you off your feet with magical beams.
- >"Anon, stop! I *order* you to--hnnrg!--stop!!"
- >Kicking off into a baseball-slide, you veer down a narrow back-alley and jet towards the encroaching gloom.
- >It's dead-ends into a small cul-de-sac strewn with detritus.
- >She had you cornered, now...
- >Frantically you look about for some means of escape..
- >A waterspout, manhole, *something*..
- >Behind you comes down the soft flutter of sings, as the Princess touches down.
- >You turn about to face your captor, She doesn't look happy.
- >Given the foul grimace She was wearing, and the dangerous crackle emanating from Her horn.
- >"I gave you a chance to come peacefully, Anonymous.." She veritably-growled.
- "Apart from the cuffs, right?"
- >"I'd already explained that to you, you're too dang-"
- "You haven't seen dangerous yet, 'Princess' Twilight Sparkle!"
- >You hunker your shoulders and spread your feet.
- "In my world, Princess, we had a man who once said something."
- >For a second it looked as if She was going to retort, but Twilight simply rolled her eyes and sighed.
- >"Okay, I'll bite, who was this man and what did He say?"
- "His name was Emiliano Zapata, a hero of the Oppressed. And he said that it was beter to die on One's feet, than live on their knees."
- >She gave you a blank stare for a brief flicker of a moment, before the realization of your implication dawned on Her..
- >She squared her hooves and lowered her horn, firing off another bolt aimed for your mid-section.
- >A bolt you're easily able to jump aside for.
- >You were getting the hang of your new skills.
- >But that was the opening you were waiting for!
- >With a feral snarl you throw yourself forward, intent on barreling around--or through--the rogue Princess.
- >She threw herself out of the way, clever mare that she was.
- >Leaving you to the open street, but you opted to keep running straight for the townhouse dead ahead.
- >Stopping halfway in the street, you bend your legs and launch yourself forward.
- >You figure, given what you were able to do to a tree with just your fist, a full-body tackle ought to blow through this house like a cannonball!
- >Either that, or you were getting ready to look very, very silly.
- >Thankfully, that wasn't the case.
- >Brick-and-mortar ain't got shit on you.
- >In fact, three houses worth of brick-and-mortar doesn't even slow you down..
- >You briefly muse, as you sail through the heavens, that you needed to get a better understanding of your new abilities.
- >Because as powerful as your new legs were, they were no replacement for wings.
- "Holy-Buuuuuuuuuuuuuu--!!!
- >You careen through the air, clear to the edge of Ponyville, and don't even begin your descent until a copse of pindly trees manifests in the gloom beneath you.
- >The trench you create upon landing would have housed a dozen troopers, easily.
- >Groaning, you stagger from the pit and lean against a conveniently-placed tree..
- "Arms.. legs.. check."
- >You mutter to yourself.
- "Sanity? Eh, Jury's still out.."
- >Thankfully, you appeared to be alone, for now.
- >No reason to not keep running, though..
- >So you ran, and ran; through creek, briar and bramble..
- >Until, a matter of hours later, the sun finally began to rise,
- >And you found yourself deep in the forest, where not even a ray of sunshine pierced.
- >You sat down at the base of an ancient oak to catch your breath, and take stock of the situation.
- >Whatever these goddamned ponies wanted, they were willing to vaporize you before they let you walk about freely.
- >They wouldn't stop, either. That was abundantly-clear..
- >One thing was for sure, you weren't about to let them take you alive.
- >Fuck Friendship: you were a goddamned Horsefucker!
- "If they want me.."
- >You mutter sourly under your breath, pushing off the tree..
- "They'll have to come and find me!"
- >To that end you start back out, walking through the forest.
- >Let the Princesses ferret you out..
- >You would not go quietly into the night!
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