the actor2

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(CRESCENDO MUSIC)

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(ELECTRIC BUZZ)

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(Bugsy Cloverdale)
HAHAHA

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SEX! SEX! SEX!

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Do I have your attention now?

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Ladies and Gentlemen…

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and those of you who aren’t sure

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Are you a person like many of us that
dreads getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work?

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and driving through traffic all day in a car that you pay for -

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to get to the job you need, SO YOU

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can pay for the car and the clothes and
the apartment that stays empty all day so you can afford to live in it?

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Are you sick and tired of answering to someone for every decision you make?
HAHA!

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It is I, your social media guru and I’m here to tell you about the wave of the future.

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Sign up today. Build your name. Build your brand.

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Become so famous, you no longer have to introduce yourself.

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HAHAHA!

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One second…one second

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Wait for it.

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Wait…

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for it.

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Voila!

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I’ve been working on it for months. What do you think?

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It’s something to look at.

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Uh.. Dwayne, Dwayne Rice.

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Joseph Kehr…

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Mi casa, es su casa.

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Ah, que bueno. Realmente mi encanta tu apart-

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I don’t speak Spanish.

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Are you sure?

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It’s an expression!

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A SPANISH expression.

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Yeah man, I’m Jewish.

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Are there a lot of Spanish in JUDEA?

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Ha. Ha. So, where you from?

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Here… and there.

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Any family?

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No.

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What do you do?

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For a living…?

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Um. Sorry. I was… collecting my thoughts.
I’m an actor.

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Oh. You’re an actor?

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My girlfriend was an actress.

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Eh… more like she tried. I didn’t have the stones to tell her she was years passed her prime.

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Every other weekend it was some awful play or some Kickstarter party.

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The last straw was when I had to drive upstate for 3 hours, in the snow, to see some stupid movie she helped produce.

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It was an hour and a half, of this pretentious guy,
sitting in a chair, staring into a camera, not moving an inch

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Or blinking once.

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Slitting wrists, came to mind.

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You sure, you just weren’t looking at a picture of a man sitting in a chair?

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Do you smoke?

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No sir.
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Do you drink?

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My body is my livelihood.

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Do you have an ID?

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I did have ID…

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but I lost it…

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In a bear fight.

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But, it’s okay. We ate some wolf afterwards.

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Ha.

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So what, you came to New York City to become some big-shot or something?

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I’m going to become the greatest actor of this generation.

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… okay

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So, until then how are you going to make the rent?

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I can hold my own.

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Do you have any records?

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I don’t sing.

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Any criminal records.

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Never been caught.

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Well…

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You seem like a straight shooter.

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Do you have the security deposit?

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Yes I do.
(Briefcase drops & unlocks)

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(coins rattle)

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Coins? Why coins?

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It’s all there… accounted for.

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(sighs) Actors…

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(knife slams down)

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(chair rolls in)

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I mean look at me, I’m in a fucking wheelchair, man!
You got everything!!

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Look what I gotta go around with, FUCKING DIAPERS!
FUCKING DIAPERS! I shit my pants everyday.

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I can’t walk. I can’t hump. Just go ahead and kill me you cocksucker!

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(silence)

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Um… Mister Kehr.
Wh- What the fuck was that?

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My monologue.

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That was your fucking monologue?

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HA! HA! HA!

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That was the worst Viggo Mortensen impression I have ever seen.

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If Viggo saw that, he would just fucking kill himself then turn over in his grave.

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Mr. Kehr acting is not impersonating another person’s work.

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Isn’t that exactly what acting is?

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I teach people to find themselves. To find themselves in the work.

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To share with an audience, who they really are.

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To really dig down deep.
And share all their shit. Do you understand that?

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Ahhh…

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Ah?

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Mr. Kehr, I asked you what the fuck you were thinking and all you can say is Ah?

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You know that Ah, is something to say to a baby. Right? You would say Ah to a baby.
Have a little conversation with a baby and you’d say Ahhhh.

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Okay, now your smiling. Which is weird.
Why the fuck are you smiling?

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Acting is revealing your soul. It’s showing us how bold you are.
Working through the blocks and showing us your fucking balls.

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I’ve got balls.

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oh yes! Apparently you have two more than me.

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Do you wanna be revered? Do you wanna be respected?

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Do you want to work to be a fully fledged actor?
A wizards of the words? A slayer of the slangs? Is that what you want?

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You wanna be a great fucking actor?

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I wanna be the greatest.

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Say it louder!

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I want to be the GREATEST!

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Let it ring in these great halls!

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I WANNA BE THE GREATEST!!!

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Nope. Nope. Stop.

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Don’t do that.

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You don’t bow till you’ve earned it.

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(Professor Payton echoing)
What I would like you to do is to go into your bathroom.

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(SLAP)

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And I would like you to slap the living fuck out of yourself.

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And I would like you to keep hitting yourself as hard as you can until you pass out.

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And then when you’ve regained consciousness I would like you to find a play.

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Find a piece of writing that inspires you and
I would like you to bring it to class next week. Because that is theater.

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Excuse me.

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Hi. Um. Patrick it’s me uh, Nastya.

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What?

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It’s me Nastya, we met on Tinder.

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I don’t know you…

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Oh you motherfucker. You gonna pretend like you don’t know me?

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I’m Joseph.

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I don’t give a fuck who you are.

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(Librarian shushes)

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No one punks me.

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Okay maybe my profile picture is a few years old. And I gained… five

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Alright. Call it 10 pounds.
But I double dare you to find someone more beautiful, bold and ballsy than me.

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I’m waiting.

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Exactly!

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I’m… Joseph… Kehr.

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You just walk around with a picture of
yourself looking like a refugee?

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It’s my headshot.

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Wait… You’re an actor?

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Yeah!

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Have I seen you in anything?

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No.

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Never mind, I just- I really thought you were the guy
I was suppose to go out with.

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You were suppose to go out with somebody at the library?

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Yeah. I mean it’s a public place.
I thought it would be cute… like a 80’s rom-com kind of thing.

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Is that Hamlet?

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Yeah.

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Oh I love Shakespeare. I actually majored in English in college.

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Could you give me some pointers?

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Um- What does this word? TEES?

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Um. I believe it, IT’S.

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No. (over pronouncing) T’IS

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T’IS, IT’S.

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Like It’s true.

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What about … TWASS.

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T’was is It was.

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No. With T, TWASS

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Yeah. Means it was.

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But Um -
Could you give me some more pointers?

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Sure.

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I’m like really starving right now though… (clears throat)

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You want… food?

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Yeah…Usually like, you suppose to-

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You wanna go and get something to eat?

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Sure.
- What do you wanna eat?

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I don’t care.

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Okay.

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Joseph : What should I know about Hamlet?
- Well Shakespeare was the greatest writer of all time.

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Arguably the greatest British writer of all time.

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Joseph : What do you want to eat?
- Anything.

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Thai?
Nah.

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Indian?
- Ugh I love Indian, but I had it twice this week.

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Chinese?
-Uh no, they cook dog.

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Joseph : Well what the hell do you want to eat?
- ANYTHING, I told you i don’t care

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Name again?
- It’s pronounced NAS-TAY- YA

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What is that? Asian?
- Romanian.

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Oh! I love Rome, I plan on dreaming of going there one day.
-No, Never mind.

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K-E-H-R

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I don’t think I ever not found someone’s entire story online before.

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akumenang.com

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No wikipedia. No myspace. No nothing.

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Nastya : Hold on a second, I gotta pee.

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(CLUB MUSIC)

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Hey! Hey! Hey!!!

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Ladies room, is that way.

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Uh… I’m transgendered.

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What?
- I’M TRANSGENDERED! What? You want to see my ID?!

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Uhh… Nah go ahead.

186
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So what were you saying?

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Bro.. What are you doing?!

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(Whispering)
Sometimes you gotta lie to get ahead in this world.

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Kelly : So daddy thought giving this
whole acting thing a shot would be a good idea.

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Especially after all the drama with my ex, OH MY GOD

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He broke up with me online, like who does that?

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He posted a picture of him and his new girlfriend
with the caption “Off to bigger and better things!”

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Like really? Like how old are you know what I mean?

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So, I got back at him, I hacked his account. And I posted a
picture of his tiny penis with hashtag #TBT #Karmasabitch

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Then he blogged about how I’m crazy and insecure and jealous
and whatever and totally left out the fact

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That he cried like a baby during The Notebook and
ate my ass like it was the last supper. Here it is.

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How much did you pay for those headshots?

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Daddy pulled some strings, but I think it was like $1500

199
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Who took that?

200
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QT
He’s like so hot right now.

201
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(Fly buzzes)

202
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Is that a passport photo?

203
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Yeah… Not only can I book work but I can travel.

204
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Hm.. yeah. Good luck with that.

205
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No, like QT has like half a million followers. And he posted
that picture of me on Instagram and it got like 100,000 likes.

206
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What is that?

207
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Huh?

208
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Likes? What are LIKES?

209
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What do you mean?… (laughs)

210
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What do you mean? It’s like the thing online. You post
something and your friends and your followers like it…

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What do likes do?

212
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What do you mean, WHAT DO THEY DO?

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They get you more followers.

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And followers is… good?

215
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Are you special?

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YA

217
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Ok… Um.

218
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Followers are power, I guess.

219
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Power…

220
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Well, first you get the followers,
then you get the sponsors, then you get the money.

221
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How did you get followers?

222
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I re-tweeted Ms.Ireland and told her to follow me back. And she did.
Oh my god it made the BIGGEST difference. I got so many more followers.

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That’s how I got my agent.

224
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You got an agent from being online?

225
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Mhmm

226
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Maybe you can give your agent my headshot and he can represent me.

227
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I don’t really think he’s looking for new clients right now. So…

228
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Oh my god.

229
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Do you know who that is??
That’s Johnny Milligan.

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He doesn’t know it yet,
but I’m going to have like an army of his babies.

231
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Like so many, I don’t even have time to name them.

232
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Like there’s one, there’s seven, there’s fourteen.
(Laughs)

233
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He doesn’t look special to me.

234
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Are you kidding?! He’s been acting since he was like ten.
He’s amazing.

235
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Oh my god I can’t believe his in class with us right now.
I have to tweet about this.

236
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Johnny : Ahhh, yeah right. So there’s a sort of a situation.

237
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Ahh. So listen, I may or may not have clogged the toilet.
238

238
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I did.

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Uh. But whenever you get a chance. I appreciate it cheers.
Joseph : Eh, Eh-

240
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Joseph : I’m not the janitor.

241
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I-I-I’m in the class…

242
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I can’t believe he walked up to you.

243
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I should have asked him for a selfie.

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[Footsteps approaching]

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Professor Payton : Is everybody here?

246
00:23:04,220 --> 00:23:32,200
Mister Joseph Kehr, are you ready to wow me?
(snaps fingers)

247
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:36,220
(Fake British accent)
To be or not to be

248
00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:38,110
Joseph : That is the question

249
00:23:38,110 --> 00:23:42,110
Joseph : Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer

250
00:23:42,110 --> 00:23:46,110
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune-

251
00:23:46,110 --> 00:23:48,000
STOP!

252
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:53,000
For the love of fucking God stop.
Um…

253
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,110
Mr. Kehr…

254
00:23:56,110 --> 00:23:58,110
What was with the accent?

255
00:23:58,110 --> 00:24:03,010
Authenticity… Shakespeare. He was British.

256
00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:07,000
Ahh. Ha. Oh my god. Sorry. Yes.

257
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,000
Sorry. My mistake for stopping you.

258
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000
William Shakespeare? He was British.

259
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,010
William Shakespeare… Is British.

260
00:24:14,010 --> 00:24:16,220
Did you read the play Mr. Kehr?

261
00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:23,220
Hamlet? The Prince of Denmark. Is not British.

262
00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:26,000
It was a choice.

263
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:26,220
Wrong choice.

264
00:24:26,220 --> 00:24:28,000
There are no wrong choi-

265
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,000
Yes! Yes! Sometimes there are wrong choices.

266
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,110
And that was a wrong choice.

267
00:24:33,110 --> 00:24:39,110
If your argument was authenticity,
why didn’t you think to do … a Danish accent?

268
00:24:39,110 --> 00:24:43,000
Better still, why didn’t you learn fucking Danish?
269

269
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,110
Authenticity… I mean one thing I can actually be thankful for

270
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:52,110
Is you didn’t fucking kill yourself and than returned to the
stage to perform in front of this random group of strangers.

271
00:24:52,110 --> 00:24:54,000
BRAVO!

272
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,220
Congratulations and kudos to you Mr. Kehr and your… balls.

273
00:24:58,220 --> 00:25:04,000
Your big balls… juicy balls.

274
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Congratulations. Sit down Mr. Kehr.

275
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Come. Come. Sit down.

276
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,110
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?!

277
00:25:37,110 --> 00:25:40,000
No, put your creepy little hand down. You look like a fucking zombie.

278
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:45,110
Never mistake motion for action - Hemingway.

279
00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:46,010
Have you heard of Hemingway?!

280
00:25:46,010 --> 00:25:47,220
Have you heard of fucking Hemingway? Oh no. Oh no.

281
00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:51,000
No! ‘Cuz there is no fucking hashtag for Hemingway. NO!

282
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,000
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?!

283
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,020
Did your agent send you? No?

284
00:25:56,020 --> 00:25:58,020
What are you here for?

285
00:25:58,020 --> 00:26:02,010
To add a credit to your fucking stupid little resume?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

286
00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:05,110
Not everyone can do what we do.

287
00:26:05,110 --> 00:26:07,020
Not everyone can be an Actor.

288
00:26:07,020 --> 00:26:12,000
And it’s not just learning lines and reciting them and playing pretend!

289
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:17,000
It’s not! A four year old can play pretend!

290
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000
What we do? What we as Actors do!

291
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
We breath life into words.

292
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,220
And when I look at all you assholes!

293
00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:28,110
I see nothing. I see dirt. I see grime.

294
00:26:28,110 --> 00:26:32,000
If we’re gonna do this. You gotta trust me.

295
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,000
Because we gotta fuck all the nonsense outta your heads.

296
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:40,110
We gotta syphon out all the bullshit you’ve been taught since birth.

297
00:26:40,110 --> 00:26:47,110
You’re too tall. You’re too stupid. You’re too thin, You’re too fat.

298
00:26:47,110 --> 00:26:48,000
You’re too ethnic.

299
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:53,220
You’re always too something.

300
00:26:53,220 --> 00:26:59,000
If I asked any of you. What you aspired to be?

301
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,000
You would tell me someone else.

302
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:07,000
None of you would tell me that you wanted to be YOU. The best version of you.

303
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,220
No! You’d all say “ I want to be like De Niro”

304
00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:15,110
“I wanna be like Meryl Streep”! That’s what you would all say.

305
00:27:15,110 --> 00:27:18,000
And fuck them. FUCK THEM.

306
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,110
Because you know what? When you see their work

307
00:27:20,110 --> 00:27:25,000
All you see is the finished product.

308
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:29,110
You don’t see the blood, sweat and tears they go through to create

309
00:27:29,110 --> 00:27:37,110
That beautiful work. You only see the glory, so fuck that right off. Okay?

310
00:27:37,110 --> 00:27:43,110
If you have Fifty million followers that think you’re hashtag fucking awesome.

311
00:27:43,110 --> 00:27:47,110
Doesn’t mean it’s Art. Being popular doesn’t make you talented.

312
00:27:47,110 --> 00:27:55,110
And I am not in the business, I’m not here to make stupid people famous.

313
00:27:55,110 --> 00:27:58,000
I want fucking truth. Truth is becoming a rarity

314
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:02,000
Because the lives we create,
they are becoming the reality.

315
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,000
And it’s becoming bullshit
(photo snaps)

316
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,110
I’m sorry.

317
00:28:06,110 --> 00:28:08,110
Was I boring you?

318
00:28:08,110 --> 00:28:10,110
Am I fucking BORING YOU?!

319
00:28:10,110 --> 00:28:13,000
You fucking little cunt! WHAT THE FUCK!

320
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,220
Um-
No, Actually that’s me.

321
00:28:16,220 --> 00:28:20,000
I’m really sorry. I just- (stammers)

322
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,330
No, I’m out of line. I am way outta line.

323
00:28:21,330 --> 00:28:27,110
Because the thing is, it’s just that I forgot this is the
generation of smart phones and really stupid fucking people.

324
00:28:27,110 --> 00:28:33,000
Stupid people with the concentration of little fish, you fucking ass.

325
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,000
Stand up.

326
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:39,220
STAND UP!

327
00:28:39,220 --> 00:28:42,000
Now, sit the fuck down.

328
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,110
STAND UP!!!

329
00:28:43,110 --> 00:28:46,000
SIT FUCKING DOWN!!!

330
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,220
STAND UP… SIT DOWN.

331
00:28:49,220 --> 00:28:54,110
Stand up you fucking cunt. Sit the fuck down!!!

332
00:28:54,110 --> 00:29:00,000
Well, at least you can take fucking direction.

333
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,110
You chicken…

334
00:29:04,110 --> 00:29:14,000
You Chicken.
: Cluck. Cluck. Cluck.

335
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Sit the fuck down. SIT DOWN!

336
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,220
Pretty smart… fucking chicken.

337
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:26,110
I didn’t know chickens understood English.

338
00:29:26,110 --> 00:29:31,220
If you get your fucking phone out again I will smash the fuck out of it.

339
00:29:31,220 --> 00:29:36,000
Do you understand?

340
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:40,110
Do you know who did that exercise with her students?

341
00:29:40,110 --> 00:29:43,010
Stella Adler. The great Stella Adler.

342
00:29:43,010 --> 00:29:47,000
She asked her whole class to be chickens.

343
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:51,110
And she told them that a nuclear bomb was about to drop.

344
00:29:51,110 --> 00:29:56,000
They all ran around wildly, clucking. From one end of the room to another.

345
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,000
Except for one student.

346
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,220
Who sat on the floor and started to lay an egg.

347
00:30:02,220 --> 00:30:05,110
Does anyone know who the student was?

348
00:30:05,110 --> 00:30:06,000
Yeah?

349
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,110
Brando!

350
00:30:07,110 --> 00:30:09,000
You’re right.

351
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,110
Marlon Brando. The great Marlon Brando.

352
00:30:12,110 --> 00:30:15,000
When he was asked by Stella Adler

353
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,110
Why he did that?

354
00:30:17,110 --> 00:30:22,000
He looked her dead in her eye and said

355
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:29,000
I’m a chicken. What do I know about Nuclear Bombs.

356
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000
In the next few weeks,

357
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:37,220
I am going to invite one of my friends,
an industry professional to come look at a showcase.

358
00:30:37,220 --> 00:30:40,000
And assess your work.

359
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,110
So don’t embarrass me. Don’t let me down.

360
00:30:42,110 --> 00:30:45,000
In the meantime, what I want you to do,
is go home.

361
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,110
I want you to think of all the things that hold you back.

362
00:30:47,110 --> 00:30:50,000
The people who put you down.

363
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:50,110
That stifle you.

364
00:30:50,110 --> 00:30:53,220
Everything you hold inside you.

365
00:30:53,220 --> 00:30:57,020
Sins you’ve committed.

366
00:30:57,020 --> 00:31:02,000
Then I want you to come back.

367
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:06,110
I want you start working on your shit.

368
00:31:06,110 --> 00:31:10,000
Get out of here.

369
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,010
(Footsteps)

370
00:31:12,010 --> 00:31:20,110
(Tense Music)

371
00:31:20,110 --> 00:31:24,110
Mr. Kehr.

372
00:31:24,110 --> 00:31:37,000
When you auditioned, we discussed this was a class you paid for.

373
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,220
Assholes.

374
00:31:39,220 --> 00:31:44,220
So like I says, I was playing with this marionette, by the coney island boardwalk
- Yeah

375
00:31:44,220 --> 00:31:47,110
I found it there, right on the floor, you can’t make this shit up.

376
00:31:47,110 --> 00:31:51,000
I love puppets. I love that shit.
-Don’t you love playing with puppets?

377
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,110
I love it. They’re like people.

378
00:31:52,110 --> 00:31:55,110
Hey, whose this fucking guy?

379
00:31:55,110 --> 00:31:59,000
Oh, look at this. He shows the proper respect.

380
00:31:59,000 --> 00:31:59,020
Shaking the hand. Yeah I like that.

381
00:31:59,020 --> 00:32:04,000
What are you doing here kid?
I told you this is a easy fucking job, huh.

382
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:11,000
You take the stuff, you go to 50th & 6th and hand it out.
Capiche? its simple.

383
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,110
What do I do when I’m done?

384
00:32:13,110 --> 00:32:15,110
When you’re done?

385
00:32:15,110 --> 00:32:21,000
The fuck? You go home and jerk off.
What do I care what you do when you done. The hell you asking me for?

386
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Go over there and grab a friggin’ bag.
Go see where you gotta go.

387
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:32,000
But, the ad said seeking actors and performers. When do I perform?

388
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,220
You perform the shit outta it. You hand the stuff out.
Can you believe this guy?

389
00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:39,110
Look at him, he’s a Frankie Valli looking motherfucker.
-Cockameme shit he’s asking.

390
00:32:39,110 --> 00:32:41,110
Go sing a fucking song when you hand them out.

391
00:32:41,110 --> 00:32:42,220
Get the fuck outta here, you clown.

392
00:32:42,220 --> 00:32:44,110
Grab a fucking bag.

393
00:32:44,110 --> 00:32:47,000
Go see where you gotta go.

394
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,110
Come on. Go grab a bag.

395
00:32:48,110 --> 00:32:51,000
Do some fucking thing.
-Look at him go.

396
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,110
What a mamon!
-He just walks away!

397
00:32:52,110 --> 00:32:56,110
Eh, You bringing these fucking mouth breathers over here!
- Hey! Don’t bring this on me!

398
00:32:56,110 --> 00:32:57,020
I had nothing to do with him!

399
00:32:57,020 --> 00:33:01,000
I’m not the one finding this fucking talent
- I told Johnny to put the ad out!

400
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,000
The bag?

401
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,110
Behind the garbage.

402
00:33:05,110 --> 00:33:10,000
Jesus Christ! Look at this guy!

403
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,010
Joseph : Here?
-He’d get lost on a one way street.

404
00:33:12,010 --> 00:33:14,010
I don’t think he can find his way outta a paper bag.

405
00:33:14,010 --> 00:33:16,010
HAHAHA!

406
00:33:16,010 --> 00:33:17,110
Marone!

407
00:33:17,110 --> 00:33:19,110
A real clown, Real Clown!

408
00:33:19,110 --> 00:33:22,220
Hurry up! The sale for followers ends soon!

409
00:33:22,220 --> 00:33:26,000
Hurry up! The sale for followers ends soon!

410
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,000
Hurry up! The sale for followers ends soon!

411
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,000
I’ll take… one.

412
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,110
Hey! Do I know you?

413
00:33:34,110 --> 00:33:36,000
I don’t think so pal.
- No, no!

414
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,000
I think I know you, your face-

415
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000
Nah, I got one of those faces, you know-
: No! No! Hold up!

416
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,110
You look really familiar. Let me put my finger on this, hold on.

417
00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:48,110
What’s your name?
418

418
00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:49,000
Joseph…

419
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,010
Joseph? Joseph… ?

420
00:33:52,010 --> 00:33:55,000
Joseph Kehr?! JOE KEHR! Joseph Kehr I know you!

421
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,110
I’m Derrick! Eh, Derrick Beaumont bro!

422
00:33:58,110 --> 00:34:00,110
Don’t you remember me?? Derrick-
: Nah…

423
00:34:00,110 --> 00:34:03,000
We lived together for like half our lives.

424
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:09,110
Don’t you remember Stella Violets? Come on man, Derrick!

425
00:34:09,110 --> 00:34:10,110
Derrick!..
: Yeah!!!

426
00:34:10,110 --> 00:34:13,110
Yeah, I gotta go!
: Wait- Where you going man?

427
00:34:13,110 --> 00:34:20,220
Dude! What the hell happened to you?
You just disappeared one day.

428
00:34:20,220 --> 00:34:25,110
What are you doing now?

429
00:34:25,110 --> 00:34:27,000
I’m an Actor!

430
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:32,000
Nice! Man I always wanted to be an actor!

431
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,110
What happened?

432
00:34:34,110 --> 00:34:37,220
I grew up…

433
00:34:37,220 --> 00:34:40,000
What do you do now?

434
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:45,000
I’m a lawyer.

435
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,110
You used to hump walls, man.
: (Chuckles).

436
00:34:47,110 --> 00:34:52,110
Well, now I defend equality and fair justice.

437
00:34:52,110 --> 00:34:53,220
You happy?

438
00:34:53,220 --> 00:35:02,000
Yeah. Good health. No bills. Clear conscious.

439
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Wait! Wait! Come on man.

440
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,110
Work’s gonna call me in just a few minutes.
Hold on a second. Let’s get a drink.

441
00:35:07,110 --> 00:35:08,220
You work over there?
: Yeah, right over there!

442
00:35:08,220 --> 00:35:11,000
Listen I gotta go!

443
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,000
I have a meeting…

444
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:17,000
with Netflix…

445
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:24,110
HA HA HA.
(Vintage music playing)

446
00:35:24,110 --> 00:35:27,110
HA HA HA HA HA
(Door chimes)

447
00:35:27,110 --> 00:35:30,000
Oh…

448
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,110
(Computerized effects)

449
00:35:34,110 --> 00:35:36,000
Hello?

450
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:36,220
(ANALOG VOICE) Good Morning.

451
00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:39,220
How can I serve you today?

452
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,000
Wha- What are you?

453
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,000
I am ICOFFEE.

454
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,110
Please do not touch me.

455
00:35:46,110 --> 00:35:47,000
I barely know you…

456
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,000
Ha. Ha. Ha.

457
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,000
What is all that?

458
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,000
That is our selection of coffees from all over the world.

459
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,110
Dark roast. Light roast. Bold.
Regular. Espresso. Cafe con Leche. Vanilla Bean.

460
00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:59,000
Caramel. Mocha. Chocolate. Latte.
Frappaccino. Jamaican Blue. Hawaiian Coffee.

461
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,000
Colombian. ASHDLKFSL-

462
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,000
I just want a regular cup of coffee. Black!

463
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,000
Grande? Venti? Ochenta?

464
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:05,200
AMERICAN!

465
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,000
Size, sir.

466
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,220
Small?
467

467
00:36:09,220 --> 00:36:11,000
Okay.

468
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,220
Okay. One Tall. Regular coffee that will be $6.50.

469
00:36:14,220 --> 00:36:18,000
WHAT?! Coffee is a dollar!

470
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Included tax, sir.

471
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,110
It’s bean juice! For christ sakes!

472
00:36:21,110 --> 00:36:23,000
Shall I terminate the order?

473
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,000
No, listen.

474
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,110
I’m gonna be famous one day…

475
00:36:28,110 --> 00:36:34,000
And you can tell people I drank coffee here,
as sort of a promotion.

476
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,000
You could put my headshot on the walls or something. Okay?

477
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,000
HA HA HA HA HA.

478
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:47,220
We only accept Credit, Debit, Paypal, Apple Pay, Venmo,
Chase Pay, Bitcoin, IOUs and Gooble Gabble.

479
00:36:47,220 --> 00:36:49,010
IOUs?

480
00:36:49,010 --> 00:36:51,110
Sign below.

481
00:36:51,110 --> 00:36:54,110
One regular tall coffee for Jose Pepe Keffer.

482
00:36:54,110 --> 00:36:57,110
It’s Joseph Kehr, remember that.

483
00:36:57,110 --> 00:37:01,010
Thank you, please come again.

484
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:03,220
What? I gotta pour the fucking coffee too?!

485
00:37:03,220 --> 00:37:08,220
Cream and sugar on the side.

486
00:37:08,220 --> 00:37:12,010
(Pours coffee)

487
00:37:12,010 --> 00:37:16,000
Thank you. Come again.

488
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:21,110
(giggles)

489
00:37:21,110 --> 00:37:25,010
I gotta see that again. HA HA HA.

490
00:37:25,010 --> 00:37:31,220
(Manically laughing)

491
00:37:31,220 --> 00:37:38,000
HA HA HA!

492
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:43,220
(bursts into laughter)

493
00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:50,110
Ha Ha Ha. You should see this-

494
00:37:50,110 --> 00:38:19,000
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

495
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:24,000
(clears throat)

496
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:28,000
Ohh. I gotta share that.

497
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:32,110
Ha Ha Ha. Sorry Chach. Yah alright?

498
00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:39,110
It’s so funny! Ha Ha Ha!

499
00:38:39,110 --> 00:38:47,020
(Bathroom door closes)

500
00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:51,000
(Door chimes)

501
00:38:51,000 --> 00:39:14,000
(Lamp turns on)

502
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:22,010
(Types on keyboard)

503
00:39:22,010 --> 00:39:36,220
(Eerie music)

504
00:39:36,220 --> 00:39:40,000
(Off key sound)

505
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:59,110
(Trumpets blare)

506
00:39:59,110 --> 00:40:01,110
No.

507
00:40:01,110 --> 00:40:03,110
Why are you calling me? You know I’m busy.

508
00:40:03,110 --> 00:40:06,000
I have this casting thing today.

509
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:11,000
Yeah. It’s like this Aids thing. I don’t even know.

510
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,110
: I know you can.

511
00:40:13,110 --> 00:40:15,000
(Fake cough)

512
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:20,000
I gotta go.

513
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:23,110
Thank you.

514
00:40:23,110 --> 00:40:29,220
Oh.

515
00:40:29,220 --> 00:40:32,110
Okay… he he.
Who took your headshot?

516
00:40:32,110 --> 00:40:34,000
(mumbles).

517
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:34,220
Oh yeah?

518
00:40:34,220 --> 00:40:36,000
Joseph KEBB?

519
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,010
Kehr.

520
00:40:37,010 --> 00:40:38,000
KUUR?

521
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,220
KEHR!

522
00:40:39,220 --> 00:40:43,000
Kehrrrr.

523
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,110
Joseph Kerrrr.

524
00:40:44,110 --> 00:40:48,000
Oh! Says you studied with Professor Payton.

525
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:52,000
Yes. I am.
: Ha! Isn’t she…

526
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,000
So much fun. Isn’t she? Ha ha.

527
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,110
Yes ma’am.

528
00:40:56,110 --> 00:41:01,000
Well, we are going to do a quick slate.

529
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,220
Look at the camera and state your name.

530
00:41:03,220 --> 00:41:06,000
Joseph Kehr.

531
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:09,000
Okay. Smile.

532
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:13,220
Eh. Not so big.

533
00:41:13,220 --> 00:41:17,000
Not… (slaps camera)

534
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:22,110
Okay. Can we have you turn to the left.

535
00:41:22,110 --> 00:41:27,220
Can we have you now turn the right?

536
00:41:27,220 --> 00:41:32,000
Okay. Great. Thanks.

537
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:39,000
It says here that you are fluent in French?

538
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:47,000
I actually have a house in NICE. I absolutely love it there,
the language is just so incredible. The food. The drink- : Oh god

539
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,110
What?
: You never invited me.

540
00:41:49,110 --> 00:41:53,000
No, it’s my husband’s family’s home. Uh… I hate them.
: Oh really?

541
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,110
They’re not very friendly…
: How many times have you been to my house in the Caribbean?

542
00:41:56,110 --> 00:41:58,000
No! I know! And I loved your home.
: Yes you did.

543
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,010
: Yes you did love it. You loved it. I bet.
But they don’t take well to new faces. You know what?

544
00:42:03,010 --> 00:42:04,110
(Slams table)

545
00:42:04,110 --> 00:42:08,000
(Object drops to the floor)

546
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,110
Could we continue?

547
00:42:12,110 --> 00:42:15,110
Um… Yeah sure.

548
00:42:15,110 --> 00:42:23,000
Can you say something romantic to me, in French?
For the camera.

549
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:27,000
Bonjour.

550
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:30,220
Got anything else?

551
00:42:30,220 --> 00:42:36,120
Je m’appelle… Joseph

552
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,220
Okay! Thank you so much.

553
00:42:38,220 --> 00:42:41,000
Okay Joseph Kehr.

554
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:45,110
Smile. You got Aids.

555
00:42:45,110 --> 00:42:52,000
: Great. Thanks.

556
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,220
I got the job!

557
00:42:53,220 --> 00:42:57,000
: Nah.
: We’ll be in touch.

558
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,220
So.. you’ll call me?

559
00:42:58,220 --> 00:43:03,210
If you get the job, we will be in touch.

560
00:43:03,210 --> 00:43:06,220
So, I’ll wait for your call. I get the job.

561
00:43:06,220 --> 00:43:13,110
I get-
: We have to make a decision first.

562
00:43:13,110 --> 00:43:20,110
‘kay.
: Don’t call us. We’ll call you.

563
00:43:20,110 --> 00:43:22,000
Okay.

564
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,000
Thank you.
: Thanks for coming in.

565
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,110
Thank you!

566
00:43:27,110 --> 00:43:31,000
It’s nice… coming in here.
: Good. ‘Kay. Oh-

567
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:38,110
…It’s my only copy.

568
00:43:38,110 --> 00:43:40,000
I’ll wait for you to call.

569
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,000
Yesss.

570
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,110
You’ll let me know…

571
00:43:44,110 --> 00:43:45,110
If I have it…

572
00:43:45,110 --> 00:43:47,110
If I don’t have it…

573
00:43:47,110 --> 00:43:53,000
: Right, OKAY! Thank you!!!

574
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,110
This went well.

575
00:43:54,110 --> 00:43:55,000
Thank you.
: (nervous laugh).

576
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:56,110
Off? On? (flicks switch).

577
00:43:56,110 --> 00:43:58,220
:Off
:On.

578
00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:01,000
ON!
: On.

579
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:08,000
(flips switch On).
: Yep.

580
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:23,220
(Door shuts).

581
00:44:23,220 --> 00:44:29,000
(exhales)

582
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:33,220
Hey Nasties! Did you see that clip?
That was a short film I did a few years ago.

583
00:44:33,220 --> 00:44:35,110
Did you check out my make up look?

584
00:44:35,110 --> 00:44:37,110
If you want a No Make Up make up look-
(Door knocks)

585
00:44:37,110 --> 00:44:40,000
Who the fuck is knocking on my door!

586
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:41,110
(Door continuously knocks).

587
00:44:41,110 --> 00:44:43,110
Who is it?!

588
00:44:43,110 --> 00:44:44,110
: It’s me!

589
00:44:44,110 --> 00:44:46,000
Who is me?

590
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,110
: Joseph Kehr.

591
00:44:47,110 --> 00:44:49,000
Joseph?-
: From the other night!

592
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,110
Joseph Kehr?

593
00:44:50,110 --> 00:44:54,000
Uh. Yeah, how do you know where I live?

594
00:44:54,000 --> 00:45:02,000
: Eh- Online, one your pictures has locations and i clicked on it.
And on the map on a green dot it led it right over here.

595
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:06,000
Yeah… That’s not creepy at all. Sorry I just think you should leave.

596
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,000
I brought you PIZZA!

597
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,110
You- You brought what?

598
00:45:10,110 --> 00:45:12,220
I brought you some PIZZA.

599
00:45:12,220 --> 00:45:15,000
How did you know that I love PIZZA?

600
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:19,110
Well, you post about it three,
four pictures online, so I figured you liked it.

601
00:45:19,110 --> 00:45:21,110
Wait a second.

602
00:45:21,110 --> 00:45:26,000
Just a slice? Or a whole pie?!

603
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,000
: A whole pie!

604
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Raise it to the peephole.

605
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,000
My god. I can smell it through the door.

606
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:40,110
: They say, PIZZA is food of the soul
and the stairway to the heart!

607
00:45:40,110 --> 00:45:42,000
Oh gosh, you and those cheesy lines.

608
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,110
What’s cheesy about PIZZA?

609
00:45:44,110 --> 00:45:48,110
I think we should get naked and eat PIZZA.

610
00:45:48,110 --> 00:45:49,000
(Unlocks door)

611
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:50,220
YAHHH!

612
00:45:50,220 --> 00:46:00,000
(Vintage Radio)

613
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,110
How did you get 250,000 followers?

614
00:46:03,110 --> 00:46:06,110
I started my YouTube channel a few years ago.

615
00:46:06,110 --> 00:46:11,000
Actually graduated with a degree in Liberal Arts, which
is equivalent to not having a degree at all.

616
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:17,000
Couldn’t find a job. Drowning in debt. Read online you can actually
post videos doing make up. I did and people subscribed.

617
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,110
How many videos have you made?

618
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:24,110
I film about twice a week, so comes out to 100 videos a year.

619
00:46:24,110 --> 00:46:26,000
For how long?

620
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:27,220
Six years.

621
00:46:27,220 --> 00:46:30,220
How many videos can you do about make up?

622
00:46:30,220 --> 00:46:35,110
Well, It’s definitely a young broads game.

623
00:46:35,110 --> 00:46:42,000
But I mean, If I get pregnant, then I could do videos about like baby shit.

624
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:47,000
‘Cuz there’s like a huge market for like new Moms.

625
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,000
Is that what I should do?

626
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,000
I mean, why are you doing here?

627
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:51,220
What do you mean?

628
00:46:51,220 --> 00:46:56,110
Why are you here? Why do you exist? What do you want from life?

629
00:46:56,110 --> 00:46:57,220
I want to be the greatest.

630
00:46:57,220 --> 00:47:00,110
Greatest what? Greatest asshole? Ha.

631
00:47:00,110 --> 00:47:04,110
You can’t be the greatest if no one knows who you are.

632
00:47:04,110 --> 00:47:05,220
What are you saying?

633
00:47:05,220 --> 00:47:07,000
How do you plan on getting there?

634
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:13,000
There’s seven billion people on this planet. SEVEN BILLION.

635
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,000
How many of them are actually famous?
636

636
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,110
How many? A thousand?

637
00:47:18,110 --> 00:47:22,110
What kind of odds are that?

638
00:47:22,110 --> 00:47:25,220
Joseph : Eh I don’t-
That’s .0001 percent.

639
00:47:25,220 --> 00:47:30,220
Are you that special? That unique? That perfect?

640
00:47:30,220 --> 00:47:33,000
I don’t think so.

641
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,000
How do you expect to become the greatest?

642
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,000
Buy more followers?

643
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,000
Okay, that’s a cheap way to do it, but no!

644
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,110
Get a role in a big movie?

645
00:47:42,110 --> 00:47:47,220
Say, Yes and the movie’s crap. Box office bomb. Then what?

646
00:47:47,220 --> 00:47:52,110
I’m not talking about In N’ Out fame.
I’m talking about the “27 club”.

647
00:47:52,110 --> 00:47:53,220
What’s the “27 club”?

648
00:47:53,220 --> 00:47:56,110
Joplin. Morrisson. Hendrix.

649
00:47:56,110 --> 00:47:57,000
Oh.

650
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,000
How about “Timeless fame”?

651
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:04,110
What’s “Timeless fame”?
: Marilyn Monroe, James Dean… Michael Jackson.

652
00:48:04,110 --> 00:48:05,110
Yeah…

653
00:48:05,110 --> 00:48:08,110
Okay. How about the FUCKFACES? You’ve heard of them right?

654
00:48:08,110 --> 00:48:12,000
Ha. Ain’t nobody ever not heard of the FUCKFACES.

655
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,220
Okay. So how do you think they got famous?

656
00:48:14,220 --> 00:48:16,110
Eh… fucking?

657
00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:19,220
Controversy! It’s that simple.

658
00:48:19,220 --> 00:48:24,000
I mean… I can only speak on my behalf but

659
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:28,000
I’m- I can’t say that I’m that special to be that famous.

660
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,220
What are you saying?

661
00:48:29,220 --> 00:48:31,000
I’m saying…

662
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,110
What if…

663
00:48:34,110 --> 00:48:39,000
We did a… We did a sex tape.

664
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,000
Porn?

665
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:44,000
No, not porn. It’s classier than porn, you know?

666
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:47,000
A film that celebrates our bodies.

667
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,110
Huh?

668
00:48:48,110 --> 00:48:50,110
I mean, unless you don’t wanna do it.

669
00:48:50,110 --> 00:48:55,110
I could always find someone else to do it with.
I just think it’d be a great opportunity for you, you know?

670
00:48:55,110 --> 00:49:00,220
Unless… I don’t know. I mean I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
I mean we just did it.

671
00:49:00,220 --> 00:49:07,000
It’s gonna be on the internet. And everyone’s comes across it.
Like literally everyone cums across it. Get it?

672
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,000
How?

673
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:14,000
Well, my agent used to produce porn. He came to me with the idea
after i couldn’t book any real jobs.

674
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000
It’s not that crazy of an idea.

675
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:21,110
I mean, we just did it. Except this time we do it in front of a camera.
: Mhmm…

676
00:49:21,110 --> 00:49:22,110
Who cares what people think.

677
00:49:22,110 --> 00:49:26,110
Morality is always negotiable.

678
00:49:26,110 --> 00:49:30,000
You want people to be so obsessed with you.

679
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,110
You want people to smell how you smell.

680
00:49:32,110 --> 00:49:36,220
Eat how you eat. Look how you look. Dress how you dress.

681
00:49:36,220 --> 00:49:45,000
Smile like you smile…

682
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:53,110
(City noise)

683
00:49:53,110 --> 00:50:00,000
(selfie)

684
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,110
You’re gonna express yourself verbally, physically.

685
00:50:03,110 --> 00:50:08,220
However you want.

686
00:50:08,220 --> 00:50:11,110
(Harrowing music)
As long as it’s honest.

687
00:50:11,110 --> 00:52:14,220
(Inaudible)

688
00:52:14,220 --> 00:52:21,110
Come back.

689
00:52:21,110 --> 00:52:25,110
Professor Payton : Joseph you can do this.

690
00:52:25,110 --> 00:52:28,110
I have a meeting with Netflix.

691
00:52:28,110 --> 00:52:36,220
(grunting)

692
00:52:36,220 --> 00:52:43,000
(Phone rings)

693
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,000
(fake voice)
Hello.

694
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000
Have you thought about what I said?

695
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,110
(normal voice)
Hello?

696
00:52:48,110 --> 00:52:57,000
I spoke to Vonrich. He thinks it’s a great idea.
Do you realize that this could broaden our fame and make us a shit ton of money.

697
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:00,110
We need to do this ASAP. So, what are you doing tomorrow?

698
00:53:00,110 --> 00:53:05,020
Oh yeah, tomorrow I’m gonna be pretty busy, you know
I have a meeting with Netflix in the morning, so sorry.

699
00:53:05,020 --> 00:53:15,010
Ha. Okay Joseph listen to me. The publicity for this is going to be huge.
And the timing is just right because of your QT movie.

700
00:53:15,010 --> 00:53:17,110
: We need to do this before that starts.

701
00:53:17,110 --> 00:53:25,110
I need you to meet me at my agent’s studio.
Remember what I said? Do you want to be the greatest or not?

702
00:53:25,110 --> 00:53:30,000
This is the stepping stone that you need.

703
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:46,000
You don’t have to thank me yet, just bring me some flowers.

704
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000
: (motorboats)
Selfie inception.

705
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:57,000
Hey!
: -Can you! You’re in my selfie!

706
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,000
My favorite YouTuber!

707
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,220
Vonny!
: Nastya! (air kisses)

708
00:54:02,220 --> 00:54:06,220
Are you ready?!
: (nervous giggle)

709
00:54:06,220 --> 00:54:13,000
Almost… Let me introduce you too..Joseph

710
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,110
Joseph?

711
00:54:15,110 --> 00:54:16,110
(slaps)

712
00:54:16,110 --> 00:54:20,110
Why are you dressed like a used car salesman?
: What?

713
00:54:20,110 --> 00:54:24,000
(snaps fingers) What is that boy’s name?
Meh… You! You!

714
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:29,110
You! I know you hear me!

715
00:54:29,110 --> 00:54:31,000
Oui?

716
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,110
Get him a suit, a REAL suit.

717
00:54:34,110 --> 00:54:36,220
One from my collection.

718
00:54:36,220 --> 00:54:40,000
This whole look… can’t work.

719
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,110
Laquelle?

720
00:54:43,110 --> 00:54:44,110
Hm?

721
00:54:44,110 --> 00:54:45,220
LAQUELLE?

722
00:54:45,220 --> 00:54:57,000
Oh right! Right! Bring the red jacket and white pants…
I’m feeling old school.

723
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,220
Okay…

724
00:54:59,220 --> 00:55:03,220
so… how does this work?

725
00:55:03,220 --> 00:55:05,000
I’ll show you how it works.

726
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:19,110
Honey? Mhmm. Come follow me.

727
00:55:19,110 --> 00:55:25,110
Soon as we finish filming, I’ll vault the footage.

728
00:55:25,110 --> 00:55:30,110
But the main thing is when you finished filming that QT movie.

729
00:55:30,110 --> 00:55:33,220
You know, during the promos?

730
00:55:33,220 --> 00:55:38,000
I’ll go get access to some of the great porn companies.

731
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:45,000
And dangle it around. They’re gonna eat it up.

732
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:46,000
: (nervously exhales)
Are you okay honey?

733
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,110
No, it’s… I get a little nervous.

734
00:55:48,110 --> 00:55:52,110
Oh no don’t worry, it’s probably a little gas.
Don’t be shy just let it out.

735
00:55:52,110 --> 00:55:57,000
We’ll lit a match.

736
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,110
: No, it’s just
Don’t hold it in.

737
00:55:59,110 --> 00:56:02,110
That shit’ll kill you. Never hold in a fart.

738
00:56:02,110 --> 00:56:04,220
…okay.

739
00:56:04,220 --> 00:56:07,110
Thanks…(breaths heavy in bag) It’s just..

740
00:56:07,110 --> 00:56:09,220
I don’t really get nervous.

741
00:56:09,220 --> 00:56:12,220
I…I… what are people going to think?!

742
00:56:12,220 --> 00:56:14,000
: WHAT ARE PEOPLE GOING TO THINK?!
What are they going to think?

743
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:17,110
They’re gonna think like “Ohhh she made something of herself”

744
00:56:17,110 --> 00:56:21,000
Look how many people adore her. Celebrate her. How much money she got.

745
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:30,000
She got her own talk show… she has her own this and her own that!
That’s what people gonna think.

746
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:36,000
What if I wear a mask? I can be like the Banksy of sex tapes!

747
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:42,110
HAHAHAHA! No honey! They got to see your money makers!!!

748
00:56:42,110 --> 00:56:43,220
Is that for me?!

749
00:56:43,220 --> 00:56:46,000
: So…

750
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:49,110
: How rated X are we gonna go with this?

751
00:56:49,110 --> 00:56:54,220
: Remember how saturated the market is.
If we’re gonna make a splash we gotta be willing to go all the way with it.

752
00:56:54,220 --> 00:56:56,000
Joseph : Well… what’d you have in mind?

753
00:56:56,000 --> 00:57:00,220
We’re gonna set up an Act.
Two moderately attractive people with So-So fame.

754
00:57:00,220 --> 00:57:03,110
But we gotta make sure the content banging!

755
00:57:03,110 --> 00:57:05,110
I mean relentlessly fucking hot!

756
00:57:05,110 --> 00:57:07,110
I mean something to make the JAPS go crazy!

757
00:57:07,110 --> 00:57:11,000
Maybe some dominatrix shit.

758
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,000
Ahh… some pegging.

759
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:14,220
Umm.. maybe a little urine play.

760
00:57:14,220 --> 00:57:18,110
WHAT THE FUCK?!
: Well how many views will something like that get?

761
00:57:18,110 --> 00:57:21,110
I-I… I don’t feel good…

762
00:57:21,110 --> 00:57:26,000
Hey look, look stop being so dramatic.
Maybe you want to stay a little later and you know…

763
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:32,110
Try to approach the world record for gang bangers.
You know they doing that right across the hall.

764
00:57:32,110 --> 00:57:34,000
What’s the record?

765
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:38,110
Blanco Jamaica… 921 penetrations.

766
00:57:38,110 --> 00:57:39,220
That’s a lot of dicks.

767
00:57:39,220 --> 00:57:42,000
Ha! You telling me.

768
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000
: (gasps for air)
Is she famous?

769
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:50,110
Course she’s famous. World wide.
Well she can’t walk right anymore, but she’s the champ.

770
00:57:50,110 --> 00:57:53,000
Would you ever consider doing something like that?

771
00:57:53,000 --> 00:58:00,000
You fucking try stuffing a thousand limp dicks
into fucking your ass not my fucking pussy!

772
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,220
Hey we can do that.

773
00:58:01,220 --> 00:58:03,110
Eh.. no.
774

774
00:58:03,110 --> 00:58:08,000
I- Okay No. I think… I’m not.. I just can’t do this.

775
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:09,000
I just need a few minutes.

776
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,000
Okay. Sure.

777
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:12,220
But

778
00:58:12,220 --> 00:58:16,110
Time is clicking. And time is money.

779
00:58:16,110 --> 00:58:18,000
And money is money.

780
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:23,000
And so on and so on.

781
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:33,110
I’m not fucking doing this shit!

782
00:58:33,110 --> 00:59:05,000
(Ominous music)

783
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:09,110
Can you imagine World champion? HA-HA!

784
00:59:09,110 --> 00:59:12,000
Just shut the fuck up.

785
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,000
I’m just suggesting.

786
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:16,000
Just Shut The Fuck Up.

787
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:21,110
Think about it, who would ever challenge you?
You’d be famous forever.

788
00:59:21,110 --> 00:59:23,000
HA-HA.

789
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:26,000
I don’t know what I was thinking.

790
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,110
Who am I?

791
00:59:28,110 --> 00:59:31,110
Like who am I?

792
00:59:31,110 --> 00:59:35,110
What the fuck am I doing?

793
00:59:35,110 --> 00:59:40,000
I’m better than this.

794
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:47,000
It’s like you said. There’s 7 billion on the planet…
are we really that special to be famous?

795
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:52,000
I know what I said Joseph.

796
00:59:52,000 --> 01:00:01,000
Listen, just relax and let’s just go back in there … and do this thing.

797
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,000
I’m not gonna do it.

798
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:08,000
I’m not doing the sex tape.

799
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:10,110
What are you talking about?

800
01:00:10,110 --> 01:00:12,110
Are you not listening?

801
01:00:12,110 --> 01:00:16,110
You… convinced me to be here.

802
01:00:16,110 --> 01:00:20,110
THINK! About the benefits.

803
01:00:20,110 --> 01:00:27,000
It’s like you said. We did it before.
It’s just this time it’s in front of a camera.

804
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,000
Don’t you get it?

805
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,000
This is not me.

806
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:35,000
This is not me!

807
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:41,110
I’ve been living in a constant cycle of bullshit this whole time.

808
01:00:41,110 --> 01:00:45,000
Who am I if I do this?

809
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:49,000
How is this serving my purpose on this planet?

810
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:53,000
If i do this, I’ll lose every part of myself.

811
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:58,110
I’ll just be a nothing. Like a fucking nothing.
812

812
01:00:58,110 --> 01:01:07,110
Just another pair of tits online.
813

813
01:01:07,110 --> 01:01:12,110
I mean, you don’t have to do… this if you don’t want to.

814
01:01:12,110 --> 01:01:16,000
I don’t need your permission.

815
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:18,000
Just go.

816
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:19,110
What?

817
01:01:19,110 --> 01:01:23,110
I’m done with you! FUCK OFF.

818
01:01:23,110 --> 01:01:24,110
What do you mean?

819
01:01:24,110 --> 01:01:29,000
I’M DONE WITH YOU! JUST LEAVE!!!

820
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:30,110
You shouldn’t say things like that to me.

821
01:01:30,110 --> 01:01:32,000
I’ll say whatever I want.

822
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:34,110
No. You shouldn’t say things like that to me.

823
01:01:34,110 --> 01:01:37,000
I’m bored of you.

824
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:44,000
You’re a fucking pussy. What kind of man are you anyway?

825
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,000
How did your selfie come out?

826
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:47,000
What?

827
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:51,110
I mean you just look so pretty. I just-
: What’s wrong with you-

828
01:01:51,110 --> 01:01:54,110
Get the fuck off of me-

829
01:01:54,110 --> 01:01:56,110
Get the fuck-

830
01:01:56,110 --> 01:01:57,220
(Inaudible)

831
01:01:57,220 --> 01:02:00,110
Relax… Relax. Relax.

832
01:02:00,110 --> 01:02:05,110
How come you don’t have any pictures of me on your profile?

833
01:02:05,110 --> 01:02:07,110
Hmm? How come?

834
01:02:07,110 --> 01:02:11,220
Let’s take a picture. Let’s take a picture together okay?

835
01:02:11,220 --> 01:02:13,000
Look at me..

836
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:16,220
Look at me. You looking?

837
01:02:16,220 --> 01:02:19,110
Smile.

838
01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:21,110
Smile!

839
01:02:21,110 --> 01:02:22,110
HA-HA-HA-HA.

840
01:02:22,110 --> 01:02:23,110
That’s a good one!

841
01:02:23,110 --> 01:02:34,000
Smile harder! Let’s see the teeth!

842
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,000
That’s a good one!

843
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000
I’ll send it to you!

844
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,110
Where’s Nastya?

845
01:02:40,110 --> 01:02:42,000
I don’t know.
: What do ya mean?

846
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:47,110
She left.
: Are you fucking kidding me?!

847
01:02:47,110 --> 01:02:49,110
: What’s this?
It’s my headshot.

848
01:02:49,110 --> 01:02:51,110
Don’t do that.
: Don’t do what?

849
01:02:51,110 --> 01:02:54,000
The thing all actors do.

850
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:57,220
I wanted to ask you about… that movie you’re producing.
: What about it?

851
01:02:57,220 --> 01:02:59,000
Is there a part for me?
: No.

852
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,000
Wait!
: They’re all local hires.

853
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,110
: Uh. We’re shooting in Cancuncanca.

854
01:03:03,110 --> 01:03:08,000
I looked up your work. You seem to use the same actors.
Where’s the risk?

855
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:13,220
The risk? The risk is i blackball you and your girlfriend,
you fucking ingrate.

856
01:03:13,220 --> 01:03:18,110
Ha Ha. I can see why you don’t win any awards. Ha Ha.

857
01:03:18,110 --> 01:03:24,110
: Who said I want any awards?
Everyone wants to win awards. Everyone wants to be respected and recognized.

858
01:03:24,110 --> 01:03:29,000
: Only care about two things. My time, my money and you wasted both of it.

859
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:33,000
He He… I just need a chance. Please.

860
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:34,220
: Look (grunts).
Please!

861
01:03:34,220 --> 01:03:37,110
Look… Okay.
: One chance!

862
01:03:37,110 --> 01:03:43,110
Everyone wants to be somebody’s discovery, not nobodies charity.

863
01:03:43,110 --> 01:03:47,000
: Got an agent?

864
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,110
: Look.

865
01:03:49,110 --> 01:03:55,220
Tell you what, after you finish that QT movie,
you stop by my office and we’ll talk.

866
01:03:55,220 --> 01:04:03,000
: Right now? I need you to go find Nastya so we
can shoot this movie and make some serious money.

867
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,000
: Okay?

868
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:09,110
Now go ahead. Get out. Hey wait a minute-

869
01:04:09,110 --> 01:04:13,110
: Is this my jacket? IS THIS MY FUCKIN’ JACKET?
Don’t TOUCH ME!!!

870
01:04:13,110 --> 01:04:29,000
(Punches)

871
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:41,110
(car drives by)
Hey Nastya, it’s me Joseph.

872
01:04:41,110 --> 01:04:49,220
I just wanted to say…

873
01:04:49,220 --> 01:04:53,110
I just wanted to…

874
01:04:53,110 --> 01:04:56,000
say…

875
01:04:56,000 --> 01:05:00,110
Did you get a chance to post that selfie?

876
01:05:00,110 --> 01:05:12,110
(Duck sound ringtone)

877
01:05:12,110 --> 01:05:15,220
Hello?

878
01:05:15,220 --> 01:05:21,110
Yes?

879
01:05:21,110 --> 01:05:39,000
Yes I am.

880
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:42,000
Johnnie : right back at you guys! Cheers!

881
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,110
Break a leg everyone.

882
01:05:43,110 --> 01:05:47,000
Oh you from the class?

883
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:51,000
Did they call you in for this? Huh…

884
01:05:51,000 --> 01:06:11,000
Break a leg…. (sarcastically)

885
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,220
Hi.
: I have AIDS.

886
01:06:13,220 --> 01:06:15,110
Hi Joseph, thanks for coming back.

887
01:06:15,110 --> 01:06:17,000
I have AIDS.

888
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:18,110
No, not yet.

889
01:06:18,110 --> 01:06:20,110
First we have to do a quick slate.

890
01:06:20,110 --> 01:06:30,000
Tony?
: Yep. Good to go.

891
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:34,000
Um. I’ll read with you. Let me know when you are ready.

892
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:38,000
I have aids.

893
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:41,000
Ready?

894
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:43,000
I have some troubling news.

895
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:48,000
The blood test came back… you are HIV positive.

896
01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:53,110
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

897
01:06:53,110 --> 01:06:57,000
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

898
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:00,000
Tony : Ha Ha. I’m sorry. Ha Ha.
: Shhhhh.

899
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:01,110
Shhhhh.
Tony: Okay. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.

900
01:07:01,110 --> 01:07:04,110
We’re sorry. We can take another.

901
01:07:04,110 --> 01:07:09,000
Tony : Yeah we’re good to go.
: Don’t worry about it Joseph we can take another.

902
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:10,110
Tony : (holding back laughter) Ha ha.
: Stop it.

903
01:07:10,110 --> 01:07:14,000
Okay? You can start reading.

904
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:16,000
Ready?

905
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:20,000
I have some troubling-
I’m sorry.

906
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:24,220
Could you delete that? I made a mistake.
Tony : It’s okay, we’re gonna cut over it.

907
01:07:24,220 --> 01:07:28,000
Tony : In post…
Okay….

908
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:33,110
Ready? I have a some troubling-
- I’m sorry! Could you just delete that! I don’t want it on the record.

909
01:07:33,110 --> 01:07:35,010
No. No one’s gonna see it.
: I don’t want it on the record.

910
01:07:35,010 --> 01:07:37,110
I made a mistake. So could you just-
Tony : Dude. Dude.

911
01:07:37,110 --> 01:07:42,000
Uh. Joseph-
Tony : if it’s about acting. Just relax.

912
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,000
Let it happen.

913
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:46,220
Don’t worry about this shit we’re gonna cut over it.
: Yeah. Please.

914
01:07:46,220 --> 01:07:49,110
Yeah.. step back a little so we can get you.
: Step away from the camera.

915
01:07:49,110 --> 01:07:51,110
Get a good shot of you.
: The button’s right there!

916
01:07:51,110 --> 01:07:55,110
Tony : Dude watch what you’re doing dude!
Watch it man!

917
01:07:55,110 --> 01:07:57,000
Hey! Hey! Calm down!!!
: I need this.

918
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:58,000
I…

919
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:04,000
I… Have… AIDS.
(screaming)

920
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:07,000
AIDS!!!!
: Get him outta here!!!

921
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:12,000
I … have …
: GET HIM OUTTA HERE!

922
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:16,000
Oh my god
: Go!

923
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:21,110
I HAVE AIDS!
: Lock it! Lock it!

924
01:08:21,110 --> 01:08:23,220
(Door shuts)

925
01:08:23,220 --> 01:08:24,110
(Handball bounces)

926
01:08:24,110 --> 01:08:27,000
So, how’d the audition go?

927
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:29,110
It went… really, really well.

928
01:08:29,110 --> 01:08:31,220
So you, ah… have the part?

929
01:08:31,220 --> 01:08:34,220
I’m pretty sure I got that part. Pretty damn sure.

930
01:08:34,220 --> 01:08:37,220
So… you have the rent money?

931
01:08:37,220 --> 01:08:39,110
I gave you the rent money.

932
01:08:39,110 --> 01:08:40,110
No you didn’t.

933
01:08:40,110 --> 01:08:44,000
Yes I did! Remember that time, at that place over
there with the guy? And that thing.

934
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:46,000
I think I’d remember that.

935
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:49,110
You remember the skinny guy with the bald head
with the speech impediment and the funny ears?

936
01:08:49,110 --> 01:08:51,220
What?! No! I don’t remember any bald guys.

937
01:08:51,220 --> 01:08:55,000
Alright, alright relax. Give me a week, I’ll get you money, alright?

938
01:08:55,000 --> 01:09:00,000
What? Why do you have paper on the windows?
: I need it to be darker to work, I needed it to be concentrated.

939
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:04,000
Now I need my money!
Alright, give me a week I’ll get your god damn money.

940
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:07,110
I don’t care-
YOU DON’T FUCKING CARE?! YOU FUCKING CARE NOW?!

941
01:09:07,110 --> 01:09:10,110
You gonna give me the money? Huh? I need $500!
You gonna give me $500?!

942
01:09:10,110 --> 01:09:13,110
(Gasps) I-I- I don’t lend money to friends.

943
01:09:13,110 --> 01:09:16,000
We’re not friends.

944
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,000
We’re not?

945
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:20,000
No.

946
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:25,110
You’re nuts!

947
01:09:25,110 --> 01:09:33,000
And scene…

948
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:47,000
(Door slams)

949
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:48,000
You’re getting bigger.

950
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:50,110
Thank you.
: You got that cake, okay!

951
01:09:50,110 --> 01:09:55,000
Thanks Daddy, I’m just trying to be like you, you know.
: Hey, let’s work out right here.

952
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:59,110
Babe, I’m super excited about tonight.
This restaurant I’m taking you to is very, very nice.

953
01:09:59,110 --> 01:10:02,000
Yeah?
: I know we haven’t gone out in a while and it’s really my fault.

954
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:05,110
: It’s true.
But i feel like I’m really gonna make it up to you tonight babe. I really do.

955
01:10:05,110 --> 01:10:10,110
: Babe! I’m a let you finish, but there’s something I gotta tell you.

956
01:10:10,110 --> 01:10:11,220
So, you know the other night, right?

957
01:10:11,220 --> 01:10:17,000
Well, he came through the window and went underneath the sheets, and….
: Who?

958
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:20,000
I didn’t want to tell you, but he started tickling my toes…

959
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:25,220
Wait, who the fuck is tickling your toes?
: And I was like Ah ah ah, ain’t nobody gonna be tickling my toes but my man.

960
01:10:25,220 --> 01:10:27,220
Tom, who the fuck is tickling your toes??

961
01:10:27,220 --> 01:10:31,000
I’m sorry okay? Don’t make me say his name.

962
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:32,000
Freddy?…

963
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:36,000
: Yeah Freddy.
Is that why he called you at 3 o’clock in the morning? I knew that was him.

964
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:40,110
He has a medical condition!
: No! He has insomnia! Why the fuck is he calling you at 3 o’clock in goddamn the morning, Tom?!

965
01:10:40,110 --> 01:10:45,110
Insomnia is the leading cause of strokes, look it up Steve. Pick up a book. Read something!
: I ain’t picking up shit.

966
01:10:45,110 --> 01:10:50,000
I ain’t picking up SHIT! Next time he calls you at 3 o’clock in the morning,
I’m gonna beat the shit outta him. You understand-

967
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:55,110
Oh my god-
: (odd grunting)

968
01:10:55,110 --> 01:10:59,000
Honey, do you have any change?
: No.

969
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:05,000
This poor, poor man. He’s sick. He’s broke and he is deaf.
Come on, just give him a dollar for his card.

970
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:10,110
This “poor, poor man”? Look hair on point, eye brows on fleek.
Look at him, outfit Yeezus like. He is not homeless.

971
01:11:10,110 --> 01:11:14,110
Stop it. He is very, very sick. Just give him whatever you have.

972
01:11:14,110 --> 01:11:17,110
Look you feel so bad, you give him your money. Okay?

973
01:11:17,110 --> 01:11:22,000
Um. I only have credit cards, you think he’ll take that?

974
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:25,000
Yeah! And he’s gonna swipe his ass with it. That’s what he’s gonna do.

975
01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:36,110
Maybe! Look it up Steve, homeless people in Sweden carry credit card readers all the time!
HELLO! Because no one carrie cash anymore. Excuse me sir, do you take credit?

976
01:11:36,110 --> 01:11:38,220
He’s deaf… remember?

977
01:11:38,220 --> 01:11:44,110
HA-HA! Oh my god. I forgot. Uh…

978
01:11:44,110 --> 01:11:47,220
I’m sorry.
: Look Captain Obvious it’s a scam, okay?

979
01:11:47,220 --> 01:11:51,110
They’re called Mole People. Cameramen followed them around-
: He don’t look like no mole.

980
01:11:51,110 --> 01:11:54,110
It’s a scam Tom, okay?!

981
01:11:54,110 --> 01:11:55,220
Yeah, you know it all. Pfft.

982
01:11:55,220 --> 01:11:58,220
I do. I ain’t giving him-
Stop it. Have a heart.

983
01:11:58,220 --> 01:12:03,000
This man is sick, all he needs is some money,
stop acting like money don’t grow on trees!

984
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:05,110
It doesn’t Tom!
: Come on, it’s paper! Hello?

985
01:12:05,110 --> 01:12:07,110
What the fuck- Tom!

986
01:12:07,110 --> 01:12:16,000
If you give him anything above a dollar. I’m seriously gonna be upset!
: Stop acting like you don’t got money to cut that beard!

987
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:19,110
Here you go sir.

988
01:12:19,110 --> 01:12:23,110
Oh, you just gonna take it all?
: (mutters)

989
01:12:23,110 --> 01:12:29,000
Don’t you feel good about yourself now? Take your wallet.
: Fuck that.

990
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:33,110
(fake crying)
: See you made him happy.

991
01:12:33,110 --> 01:12:35,110
(real crying)
: it’s okay sir. It’s gonna be alright-

992
01:12:35,110 --> 01:12:40,110
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

993
01:12:40,110 --> 01:12:51,000
Oh hell no!

994
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:54,110
(chairs banging)
I guess you can say that- Fuck!

995
01:12:54,110 --> 01:12:56,220
Shit. Um.

996
01:12:56,220 --> 01:13:00,000
Um…
: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

997
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:04,110
So I guess you could say that…
: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

998
01:13:04,110 --> 01:13:09,110
Shit- Um compensating for the fact that he-
(gasps)

999
01:13:09,110 --> 01:13:10,110
(tossed fruit splatters)

1000
01:13:10,110 --> 01:13:12,110
And that ha-ha-ha!

1001
01:13:12,110 --> 01:13:17,000
Boys and girls and those of you that do not know! That is live theater!

1002
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:21,220
Bravo! Bravo! Ha Ha Ha.

1003
01:13:21,220 --> 01:13:26,110
Sorry mate, do you mind?
I have a meeting with the studio right after. Cheers.

1004
01:13:26,110 --> 01:13:30,000
Come on, sit down. Go ahead, sit down.

1005
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,110
Okay yo man! I gotta tell you something!

1006
01:13:32,110 --> 01:13:34,110
Me? I’m a fucking Jedi-fighter.

1007
01:13:34,110 --> 01:13:37,110
I’m fucking serious yo! I got a Jedi name and everything. I got powers!

1008
01:13:37,110 --> 01:13:45,220
I got a lot of powers. But I can’t use my powers for bad.
Or else i gotta wear one motherfuckin’ mask like Darth Vader, you know.

1009
01:13:45,220 --> 01:13:49,000
Wear a fuckin’ mask, i don’t think that shits will fly too good in the city, is all i’m saying.

1010
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:59,000
But I got these powers, why the fuck am i gonna waste my powers against
fuckin’ clown Jimmy, Jose, Ra-Ra. I can’t take risk to lose my powers.

1011
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:01,110
By accidentally doing bad against them. But, yo here’s the thing.

1012
01:14:01,110 --> 01:14:10,220
If you and me was to just got out as friends. And someone tried to mess with you.
Someone tried to do you harm. You better believe I’d use all my Jedi powers against them.

1013
01:14:10,220 --> 01:14:18,000
Even if they took my ass to jail, fuck it man. I’d give you money first so you could go and eat shrimps!

1014
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:21,110
: Okay?
Professor Payton : BRAVO! It was great, great work!

1015
01:14:21,110 --> 01:14:31,110
(applause)
Joseph? You’re up.

1016
01:14:31,110 --> 01:14:36,110
Break a leg mate!

1017
01:14:36,110 --> 01:14:40,220
To be or not to be, that is the question.

1018
01:14:40,220 --> 01:14:45,110
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

1019
01:14:45,110 --> 01:14:50,000
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Professor Payton : Excuse me I’m sorry, who are you?

1020
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:52,110
Hamlet…

1021
01:14:52,110 --> 01:14:55,110
: Joseph are you on fucking crack?

1022
01:14:55,110 --> 01:15:00,000
: How arrogant can you be? You don’t get more than
two lines in without breaking concentration?

1023
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:00,110
: Where’s your commitment?

1024
01:15:00,110 --> 01:15:03,000
I am committed.
: No you’re not, you’re not committed.

1025
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:04,110
I am committed.
: No you’re not!

1026
01:15:04,110 --> 01:15:08,000
: You broke character, you concentration and you broke the scene
No!

1027
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:10,110
I never break character! I am committed! I AM HAMLET!

1028
01:15:10,110 --> 01:15:15,000
I’m not in the scene with you, so why would you respond that way? It’s fucking stupid.

1029
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:16,110
Wait, wait, wait a minute!
: No!

1030
01:15:16,110 --> 01:15:19,000
I am not going to wait for you!

1031
01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:26,110
I’ll tell you why. Because what I am asking you to do, I’m not asking you to build a rocket.

1032
01:15:26,110 --> 01:15:29,110
It’s not brain surgery! It’s simple.

1033
01:15:29,110 --> 01:15:34,110
Commit. One hundred percent. That is all I am asking from you.

1034
01:15:34,110 --> 01:15:37,220
You know, you have the audacity to stand on my stage!

1035
01:15:37,220 --> 01:15:39,110
:Oh for fuck’s sake.
I’m getting a headache!

1036
01:15:39,110 --> 01:15:44,110
: Ohhh, here we go.
I just want to punch someone in the fucking face right now!

1037
01:15:44,110 --> 01:15:47,000
I’m getting a headache with you right now, alright?

1038
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:49,000
: Really?
I’m sorry.

1039
01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:52,110
I have some problems.
: WE’VE ALL GOT FUCKING PROBLEMS!!

1040
01:15:52,110 --> 01:15:56,220
I’VE GOT PROBLEMS! SHE’S GOT PROBLEMS! HE’S GOT PROBLEMS!

1041
01:15:56,220 --> 01:15:59,000
: HE’S GOT PROBLEMS!
I have some problems!

1042
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:02,110
Problems? Are also the solution.

1043
01:16:02,110 --> 01:16:06,000
What more do you want from me? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!
: Tell me that you understand-

1044
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:09,110
: I want you to be fucking honest.
(breaking) I am honest.

1045
01:16:09,110 --> 01:16:16,000
Well, not I don’t believe-
: FUCK YOU!

1046
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:20,000
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
: No. No.

1047
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:22,220
It’s just… I’m having some trouble here.
: No. No.

1048
01:16:22,220 --> 01:16:28,110
I’m having-
: Denial. Denial. Denial. DE-FUCKING-NIAL.

1049
01:16:28,110 --> 01:16:31,000
I just had a fight with my girlfriend.

1050
01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:34,110
: No fucking wonder! You’re fucking insane!-

1051
01:16:34,110 --> 01:16:42,110
I was suppose to be in this movie. I was suppose to go to Cooncancanka and shoot this movie.
But I beat the producer half to death. I stole his clothes that’s why I look like this.

1052
01:16:42,110 --> 01:16:48,000
Oh for fuck’s sake! How are you feeling in this moment, be fucking honest.
: I AM-

1053
01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:50,010
Just be honest, how are you feeling?!

1054
01:16:50,010 --> 01:16:56,000
I feel like coming down there, and ripping your face off.

1055
01:16:56,000 --> 01:16:58,110
HAHAHA.
: Am I suppose to be scared right now?

1056
01:16:58,110 --> 01:17:01,110
No! HAHAHAHA.

1057
01:17:01,110 --> 01:17:07,110
Ah.. I feel like coming down there, really, really right now, and ripping your fucking face off.

1058
01:17:07,110 --> 01:17:11,110
I feel like coming down there and ripping your fucking face off!

1059
01:17:11,110 --> 01:17:13,110
HAHAHAHAHA!

1060
01:17:13,110 --> 01:17:17,220
I’m gonna come down there and rip your fucking face off.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

1061
01:17:17,220 --> 01:17:23,220
You’ve got more! FUCKING GIVE IT TO ME! FUCKING GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT TO ME!!!!

1062
01:17:23,220 --> 01:17:28,000
I am showing you! What do you want for me?!
: The truth!

1063
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,000
I am showing you the truth!
: Who-

1064
01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:32,110
I WAS ABANDONED! I AM AN ORPHAN!!!

1065
01:17:32,110 --> 01:17:39,000
: Who holds you back?
EVERYONE!!!

1066
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:42,110
No bad Mr. Kehr, How do you feel?

1067
01:17:42,110 --> 01:17:45,220
: You feel alright?
Feel like coming down there

1068
01:17:45,220 --> 01:17:48,000
Yeah… sure. Okay.

1069
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:51,220
Listen to me, listen to what I’m trying to get you to do.

1070
01:17:51,220 --> 01:17:53,000
Okay?

1071
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:56,220
You keep blocking, you keep pushing stuff down.

1072
01:17:56,220 --> 01:18:00,000
I need everything to be there alive within you.

1073
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:04,000
Unless you understand that, within yourself.

1074
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:07,000
You’ll never understand a character.

1075
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:09,110
Do you understand?

1076
01:18:09,110 --> 01:18:11,110
You know, a teacher is not just a teacher.

1077
01:18:11,110 --> 01:18:22,000
A student? A student is not just a student. People aren’t just fucking people.
And whether it was something from the past, the present or the future.

1078
01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:32,000
Unless you put you, into every single character… we got nothing.

1079
01:18:32,000 --> 01:18:37,000
I really want you to go home tonight, I want you to think about the work.

1080
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:41,000
And I want you to come back next week for showcase, yeah?

1081
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:44,000
And trust me.

1082
01:18:44,000 --> 01:18:48,110
Trust me.

1083
01:18:48,110 --> 01:18:55,110
I really think for you, it’ll be worth it.

1084
01:18:55,110 --> 01:19:14,000
Bravo! Mr. Kehr.

1085
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:22,220
: What’s up guys? I’m Barbara G. And I got the scoop for you with a side of OH-MY-GOD.
Today we are talking about what is hot and what’s not.

1086
01:19:22,220 --> 01:19:38,000
Speaking on what’s not, former child actor Johnnie Milligan, whose long battled with drug abuse
and rumors of homo sexuality, is now attempting a major comeback.

1087
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:44,000
Bugsy : This is your life. No one is coming to save you.
Take 100% responsibility. Solidify your digital presence today!

1088
01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:50,110
THIS IS YOUR LIFE! NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU!
TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY! SECURE YOUR DIGITAL PRESENCE!

1089
01:19:50,110 --> 01:19:54,110
BUILD YOUR FOLLOWING BY PAYING FOR EXPOSURE! ONLY $500!!!

1090
01:19:54,110 --> 01:20:01,220
This is your life. No one is coming to save you!
Take 100% responsibility. Secure your digital presence.

1091
01:20:01,220 --> 01:20:22,110
(Slot machine music)

1092
01:20:22,110 --> 01:20:27,110
(Slot machine music)

1093
01:20:27,110 --> 01:20:35,110
No one is coming to save you! Take 100% responsibility.
Secure your digital presence. Build your following by paying for exposure.

1094
01:20:35,110 --> 01:20:36,110
Only $500!

1095
01:20:36,110 --> 01:20:43,000
Build your following by paying for exposure. Only $500!
This is your life. No one is coming to save you.

1096
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:47,000
Take 100% responsibility. Secure your digital presence.

1097
01:20:47,000 --> 01:21:14,220
Build your following by paying-

1098
01:21:14,220 --> 01:21:17,110
Happy anniversary baby! So, what’d you think?

1099
01:21:17,110 --> 01:21:23,110
Are you kidding me? $300 a plate for that?
a bummy Tuna Tar-Tar salad?

1100
01:21:23,110 --> 01:21:26,000
I mean the main course was two scallops.

1101
01:21:26,000 --> 01:21:29,000
Well, my farquaar was divine.

1102
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:31,000
Ha! It’s FOIE-GRAS

1103
01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:33,000
No, like Lord Farquaad.

1104
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:35,000
It’s FOIE-GRAS.

1105
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:36,110
Foie-Gras?

1106
01:21:36,110 --> 01:21:39,220
You have to have a little Ummpf,
if we’re eating at these restaurants darling.

1107
01:21:39,220 --> 01:21:43,110
FOIE-GRAS!
: FAW GWAW

1108
01:21:43,110 --> 01:21:45,110
I like that, Foie-gras.
: Hmm..

1109
01:21:45,110 --> 01:21:46,110
Interesting.
A little Hmm-

1110
01:21:46,110 --> 01:21:49,000
Give me that bag! I need that!
1112

1111
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:52,000
Oh it’s about to go down! You fucked up right there!

1112
01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:57,000
Baby! Get the shank out! Get the hairbrush.
Put this around his mouth! He is going to sleep right now!

1113
01:21:57,000 --> 01:22:00,000
I need this!
: Oh my god? Oh my god!

1114
01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:02,220
I think I know who this is!
: This motherfucker?

1115
01:22:02,220 --> 01:22:06,110
It’s the “ I GOT AIDS GUY! “
: Rey Misterio?!

1116
01:22:06,110 --> 01:22:11,000
What?!
: We’re huge fans, my man!

1117
01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:13,110
Let’s take a polaroid. Hold on, watch my hair, HA HA.
: Selfie!!

1118
01:22:13,110 --> 01:22:16,220
Babe! Um. You’re choking him…
: Oh, I’m sorry.

1119
01:22:16,220 --> 01:22:18,110
Everyone say, “We Got Aids!”

1120
01:22:18,110 --> 01:22:21,000
(unison)
“We’ve got Aids!!!”

1121
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:26,000
Ohhh. Classic. Let’s get dessert.
: Oh my god. What a dick.

1122
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:30,110
: Of course.
(Slot Machine Jackpot)

1123
01:22:30,110 --> 01:22:31,110
Have you seen this shit?!

1124
01:22:31,110 --> 01:22:35,000
It already has a million hits on YouTube.

1125
01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:39,000
You know you having a bad day, when you have people laughing at you.
: “Your blood test came back, your HIV Positive.”

1126
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:44,110
Look at this bitch. She can’t help her self.
: ALLAHAKBUR! (Explosion).

1127
01:22:44,110 --> 01:22:48,000
: Ha Ha.

1128
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:51,000
I can’t, this is horrible. This is fucking terrible.

1129
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:55,110
My mother has seen this video, my grandma. EVERYBODY has seen this video already.

1130
01:22:55,110 --> 01:23:04,110
I got friends after friends, tagging me to all the videos on Instagram. On Facebook.
: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

1131
01:23:04,110 --> 01:23:20,110
(Upbeat Club music)

1132
01:23:20,110 --> 01:23:23,220
: That’s it, his career is over.
His career is basically shot.

1133
01:23:23,220 --> 01:23:25,110
: Like that’s it.

1134
01:23:25,110 --> 01:23:30,110
: Seriously this video is everywhere.
There are ton’s of memes about him now.

1135
01:23:30,110 --> 01:23:32,110
: Yeah. It’s over.

1136
01:23:32,110 --> 01:23:37,110
It’s your girl Barbara G, and I’m proudly
here to announce the newest Hollywood trend is in.

1137
01:23:37,110 --> 01:23:41,000
Lucky for me, I’ve been on the ball since day one! You guessed it.

1138
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:43,000
: Gapped Teeth motherfuckers!

1139
01:23:43,000 --> 01:23:49,000
What was once considered undesirable, is now the It thing,
rich bitches are currently trying to cosmetically alter.

1140
01:23:49,000 --> 01:23:52,110
Now, I’d like to say I paved the way for this sensation.

1141
01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:55,000
But. I’ve got to give props to those gents and dames before me.

1142
01:23:55,000 --> 01:24:02,000
I’m talking about L Fish, K Moss, Woody H and E wood.
And my personal favorite, Uzo Aduba.

1143
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:04,110
Bugsy Cloverdale : What are you waiting for?

1144
01:24:04,110 --> 01:24:08,000
The days that break you, are the days that make you!

1145
01:24:08,000 --> 01:24:58,000
(continuous laughter)
HA HA HA HA HA HA

1146
01:24:58,000 --> 01:25:27,010
(Bang!)

1147
01:25:27,010 --> 01:25:30,000
Patience conquers destiny.

1148
01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:34,110
And today, is the day that we’ve all be working towards.

1149
01:25:34,110 --> 01:25:37,110
Professor Payton : I have invited an Industry Professional.

1150
01:25:37,110 --> 01:25:42,000
My friend QT, an award winning Director, Writer, Producer.

1151
01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:47,110
Who is casting his latest film, is going to view your work.

1152
01:25:47,110 --> 01:25:51,000
: So, let the games begin.

1153
01:25:51,000 --> 01:26:04,000
: Remember whatever happens, happens-
(chair dragging)

1154
01:26:04,000 --> 01:26:07,110
Except for you. Go, go.

1155
01:26:07,110 --> 01:26:09,220
Go.

1156
01:26:09,220 --> 01:26:13,110
Go.

1157
01:26:13,110 --> 01:26:21,000
I’m not kidding, go.

1158
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:28,000
(tosses papers)

1159
01:26:28,000 --> 01:26:33,000
Spent eight in Chino, got two years left.

1160
01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:35,000
Uh… 14 months and 10 to go.

1161
01:26:35,000 --> 01:26:38,110
Ah. Most have done some bad shit, right?

1162
01:26:38,110 --> 01:26:42,000
It was all a misunderstanding.
: misunder- Two years for a misunderstanding?

1163
01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:44,000
: Heh, what are you in for?

1164
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:48,110
I stole a car stereo.

1165
01:26:48,110 --> 01:26:50,220
: I had to pay off a gambling debt.

1166
01:26:50,220 --> 01:26:54,110
In Vegas, cops chased me all the way thru Barstow.

1167
01:26:54,110 --> 01:26:58,110
Crossing state lines, is a federal offense my friend.

1168
01:26:58,110 --> 01:27:00,000
You a thrill seeker?

1169
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:01,220
Yeah. Fuck yeah.

1170
01:27:01,220 --> 01:27:04,000
You know, when I was a teen.

1171
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:10,220
I used to run a chop shop retagging cars to Russia
before I got into the market. Now I get paid to steal.

1172
01:27:10,220 --> 01:27:14,220
I-I once knocked over this check cashing shop in Queens.

1173
01:27:14,220 --> 01:27:19,220
Me and these guys dressed as cops, as black cops.

1174
01:27:19,220 --> 01:27:21,000
We had all those movie magic makeup.

1175
01:27:21,000 --> 01:27:26,110
Like these Mission Impossible masks,
We were in and out without a single shot fired.

1176
01:27:26,110 --> 01:27:28,000
Yeah but you got caught, right?

1177
01:27:28,000 --> 01:27:30,000
Hey! We in the same cell, you and I.

1178
01:27:30,000 --> 01:27:31,110
We ain’t the same.

1179
01:27:31,110 --> 01:27:34,110
I studied in schools, you failed the streets.

1180
01:27:34,110 --> 01:27:38,000
I’m groomed for success, you’re a by-product of poverty.

1181
01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:45,110
I-I heard that a, you absconded with umm…. 18 or 19 million dollars.

1182
01:27:45,110 --> 01:27:49,220
From some charity, some fucking kiddie cancer charity. Is that right?

1183
01:27:49,220 --> 01:27:51,110
Eh, I don’t know what you talking about.

1184
01:27:51,110 --> 01:27:53,000
You don’t know what I’m talking about?

1185
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:55,220
You ain’t no fucking gangster, man.

1186
01:27:55,220 --> 01:28:00,000
You- - You’re fucking playing pretend… look at you.

1187
01:28:00,000 --> 01:28:03,000
You lie about who you are because you can’t fucking deal with it.

1188
01:28:03,000 --> 01:28:08,110
Pussies lie because they ain’t got the balls to be real with
who they are and show the fucking world.

1189
01:28:08,110 --> 01:28:16,000
The real you… the real you is ugly and scared.
That’s the reason you’re here man.

1190
01:28:16,000 --> 01:28:17,110
You don’t know me.

1191
01:28:17,110 --> 01:28:19,000
I know you! I know you!

1192
01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:23,000
I fucking know you better than you know yourself.
You’re the- you’re the fuckin- - You’re the….

1193
01:28:23,000 --> 01:28:28,110
The kinda guy who gets tossed around here like a
fucking bucket of fried chicken in here. Everyone get’s a piece.

1194
01:28:28,110 --> 01:28:30,110
: FUCK YOU MAN! Yeah. Fuck you man.
Fuck me? You’re not my type.

1195
01:28:30,110 --> 01:28:32,110
: Ha Ha Ha.
Shut the fuck up.

1196
01:28:32,110 --> 01:28:35,000
: Denial! It’s not a pretty look for you.

1197
01:28:35,000 --> 01:28:37,110
Shut the fuck up.
: Fuck you motherfucker-

1198
01:28:37,110 --> 01:28:43,000
: 10 fucking years! 10 Fucking years i’ve been in here!!!

1199
01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:49,000
Seconds feel like fucking hours, hours feel like days,
days feel like months, feel like a fucking eternity!!!

1200
01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:51,110
TEN YEARS?! I’ve been in prison my whole fucking life!!!

1201
01:28:51,110 --> 01:28:53,110
HA HA HA HA HA!!!

1202
01:28:53,110 --> 01:29:00,000
Ohhh Boo-fuckity-who “my life is a prison!”
You’ve got no fucking clue man.

1203
01:29:00,000 --> 01:29:02,220
I have no idea who I am.

1204
01:29:02,220 --> 01:29:10,000
I’ve given myself over to people who say “come here!”
“fly over here”, “sit here”, “eat this”, “look at the camera” “fucking smile”!

1205
01:29:10,000 --> 01:29:15,000
I’m the fucking toy that the kids got bored of and threw the fuck away.

1206
01:29:15,000 --> 01:29:19,110
And that was success! I rose to the fucking top with that!

1207
01:29:19,110 --> 01:29:25,000
The fall from up there, man. Is much harder than you could fucking imagine.

1208
01:29:25,000 --> 01:29:27,000
‘Cuz I had nothing afterwards, NOTHING.

1209
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:30,110
Half of my friends, my childhood friends are dead.

1210
01:29:30,110 --> 01:29:34,110
From natural or unnatural causes, it’s not a fucking difference really.

1211
01:29:34,110 --> 01:29:38,220
I made a career… a fucking career.

1212
01:29:38,220 --> 01:29:43,000
Most my life was just living out other people’s fantasies.

1213
01:29:43,000 --> 01:29:46,110
Never! Never once knew who I was.

1214
01:29:46,110 --> 01:29:48,220
So don’t tell me-

1215
01:29:48,220 --> 01:29:54,000
I know who you are! I know who you fucking are!

1216
01:29:54,000 --> 01:29:58,000
(slight laugh)
I know who you are better than I know myself. What’s more tragic than that?

1217
01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:01,000
: Right?

1218
01:30:01,000 --> 01:30:06,000
: Why do you think I’m in here?

1219
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:38,000
Self understanding is the path to my glory.
Nothing more, nothing less.

1220
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:51,110
(Slow clap)

1221
01:30:51,110 --> 01:31:59,000
(intense music)

1222
01:31:59,000 --> 01:32:00,000
: Hey!

1223
01:32:00,000 --> 01:32:01,220
Jesus!
: Can I get an autograph?

1224
01:32:01,220 --> 01:32:09,110
Oh shit! How do you know where i live?

1225
01:32:09,110 --> 01:32:11,220
Johnnie Milligan.

1226
01:32:11,220 --> 01:32:15,110
Actor, artist, human being.

1227
01:32:15,110 --> 01:32:21,110
Who’s life was tragically cut short by one of the most
bizarre drug overdoses as far as I’m concerned.

1228
01:32:21,110 --> 01:32:25,110
All of us here consider this a great loss to the entertainment industry.

1229
01:32:25,110 --> 01:32:28,110
Although Johnnie’s death was ruled a suicide-

1230
01:32:28,110 --> 01:32:40,110
Investigators have re-opened his case as new evidence suggests
possible foul play. Tune in for more details.

1231
01:32:40,110 --> 01:32:44,220
Hi! I’m Harley Gonzalez and today we’re here with Joseph Kehr

1232
01:32:44,220 --> 01:32:47,010
The big star of the movie Dante’s Inferno.

1233
01:32:47,010 --> 01:32:49,110
: I’m an admirer of your work.

1234
01:32:49,110 --> 01:32:50,110
: Hi! Same here.

1235
01:32:50,110 --> 01:32:52,110
Thank you for coming.

1236
01:32:52,110 --> 01:32:54,000
Thank you for having me.

1237
01:32:54,000 --> 01:32:58,000
: Thanks, let’s get started. Okay? Alright…

1238
01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:01,220
When you look back on your life, what did you reflect on?
: I don’t look back.

1239
01:33:01,220 --> 01:33:03,110
Hmm. Okay.

1240
01:33:03,110 --> 01:33:13,110
Uhh let’s talk a little bit about the film. What was it like filming it.
I haven’t had the chance to see it, please tell us little bit about it.

1241
01:33:13,110 --> 01:33:16,220
It’s a movie…
: Okay.

1242
01:33:16,220 --> 01:33:20,110
: It’s a movie?
And I’m in it.

1243
01:33:20,110 --> 01:33:27,000
That’s a great answer. Umm.. You said you established yourself
in the Hollywood game, what else do you want to achieve?

1244
01:33:27,000 --> 01:33:31,220
You know, well I’ve always said I wanted to be the greatest actor.

1245
01:33:31,220 --> 01:33:35,110
Meh I can… still achieve that.

1246
01:33:35,110 --> 01:33:37,220
Those are some pretty big shoes to fill.

1247
01:33:37,220 --> 01:33:41,000
Well I got some pretty big feet to fill ‘em.

1248
01:33:41,000 --> 01:33:43,220
Um.. (nervous laugh).
: He He He.

1249
01:33:43,220 --> 01:33:49,000
:In one of your quotes you’ve said-
Well I take each day as they come.

1250
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:52,110
Umm (exhales).

1251
01:33:52,110 --> 01:33:55,110
You said you’ve studied with Professor Payton-
: Eh hold on, you got something here-

1252
01:33:55,110 --> 01:33:57,110
Uhhh… that’s fine… Ummm

1253
01:33:57,110 --> 01:34:01,220
You said you’ve studied with Professor Payton,
let’s look at your professional background.

1254
01:34:01,220 --> 01:34:04,000
How much of your success do you attribute to her?

1255
01:34:04,000 --> 01:34:07,110
See you keep wanting to go backwards.

1256
01:34:07,110 --> 01:34:09,000
See I’m trying to go forward.

1257
01:34:09,000 --> 01:34:14,110
You gotta go forward. You gotta go left, right, left, right.
That’s how you progress.

1258
01:34:14,110 --> 01:34:17,110
Right, but they go hand in hand.
: What does?

1259
01:34:17,110 --> 01:34:21,000
The past and the future.

1260
01:34:21,000 --> 01:34:23,000
Is that like a Chinese pro-verb?

1261
01:34:23,000 --> 01:34:34,000
How did it feel to be on of the last actors to work
with the late Johnnie Milligan?

1262
01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:37,220
I remember working with him,

1263
01:34:37,220 --> 01:34:42,000
and thinking WOW.

1264
01:34:42,000 --> 01:34:43,110
You know?

1265
01:34:43,110 --> 01:34:49,110
I’ll never be as good as that guy.

1266
01:34:49,110 --> 01:34:55,220
No matter how hard I worked and how hard I tried.

1267
01:34:55,220 --> 01:34:59,000
It’s unfortunate he’s no longer with us.

1268
01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:01,220
And I don’t have to compete with him anymore, so… he he he.

1269
01:35:01,220 --> 01:35:06,110
: (nervous laugh) Okay.

1270
01:35:06,110 --> 01:35:17,110
I’m just gonna take off your glasses.

1271
01:35:17,110 --> 01:35:19,000
Okay…

1272
01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:22,000
(nervous exhale)
I’m a really big fan.

1273
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:23,000
You know…

1274
01:35:23,000 --> 01:35:27,110
I’m actually an aspiring actress myself,
I’m going to USC soon. I’m really excited.

1275
01:35:27,110 --> 01:35:33,000
I’m like, you know in this weird in-between place.
Do you have any advice or-

1276
01:35:33,000 --> 01:35:39,110
Stop talking.

1277
01:35:39,110 --> 01:35:45,000
Don’t worry I’ll green screen most of it, like QT does.

1278
01:35:45,000 --> 01:35:46,220
I know it’s just you and I.

1279
01:35:46,220 --> 01:35:51,000
But guess what? WE’RE MAKING A MOVIE!

1280
01:35:51,000 --> 01:35:58,000
And yes! The universe has a plan.

1281
01:35:58,000 --> 01:36:04,000
That’s as long as it goes?

1282
01:36:04,000 --> 01:36:07,000
Let me just take this hair off real quick, alright?

1283
01:36:07,000 --> 01:36:09,000
(Door knocks)

1284
01:36:09,000 --> 01:36:16,000
Coming!

1285
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:17,000
: Hey! How are yah?

1286
01:36:17,000 --> 01:36:19,000
Uh.. good.

1287
01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:23,110
I’m just gonna give you guys a moment.

1288
01:36:23,110 --> 01:36:26,110
He’s a real talker.

1289
01:36:26,110 --> 01:36:29,110
: After you Summer-field.
Thank you partner, Chap!

1290
01:36:29,110 --> 01:36:33,000
:That’s my partner in crime.

1291
01:36:33,000 --> 01:36:34,220
Whoa!
: Wow!

1292
01:36:34,220 --> 01:36:37,000
Look at you!

1293
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:38,000
Hey! Sorry to bother you.

1294
01:36:38,000 --> 01:36:43,000
I am really sorry to bother you!
See I just wanted to come in here and just-

1295
01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:46,220
Ask you for your autograph.
You see, because we just started working on this film.

1296
01:36:46,220 --> 01:36:49,110
You don’t mind, do you?

1297
01:36:49,110 --> 01:36:50,220
It’s why I do this.

1298
01:36:50,220 --> 01:36:53,000
Hey!!!
(laughter)

1299
01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:56,110
What a nice guy! There you go, look at that there.
: Wow.

1300
01:36:56,110 --> 01:37:01,110
Just sign that for us.

1301
01:37:01,110 --> 01:37:06,000
Thank you. Thank you.

1302
01:37:06,000 --> 01:37:10,000
What a great smile! Doesn’t he? Great smile this guy.
: Wow, yeah look at that.

1303
01:37:10,000 --> 01:37:14,110
Ohhhh! Look at that there!
: Wow!

1304
01:37:14,110 --> 01:37:17,220
Whew! That is some beautiful penmen-ship.
: Jesus.

1305
01:37:17,220 --> 01:37:20,000
What do you think about that Summer-field?
: Lovely.

1306
01:37:20,000 --> 01:37:25,000
Yeah? Oh I’m sorry i didn’t introduce you, this is my partner Summer-field.
: Yeah.

1307
01:37:25,000 --> 01:37:27,000
You want one too?

1308
01:37:27,000 --> 01:37:27,220
HAHAHAHAHA

1309
01:37:27,220 --> 01:37:30,110
: You want an autograph? Ha Ha Ha.
Fuckin’ guy right here! Ha Ha Ha.

1310
01:37:30,110 --> 01:37:35,220
: Summer-field don’t want no autograph,
Summer field is more of a selfie type of lady. You know?

1311
01:37:35,220 --> 01:37:37,110
But getting back to this penman-ship now,
: Yeah.

1312
01:37:37,110 --> 01:37:42,000
This is some beautiful, beautiful penman-ship. Isn’t it?
: (clicks tongue).

1313
01:37:42,000 --> 01:37:45,000
Right? It’s on point.
: Yep. Yeah.

1314
01:37:45,000 --> 01:37:48,000
You know what? You should be a writer.
: Yeah.

1315
01:37:48,000 --> 01:37:51,220
You really should-
: Storyteller.

1316
01:37:51,220 --> 01:37:56,110
There you go again! You should be a story teller.
: Ha Ha.

1317
01:37:56,110 --> 01:38:00,110
Like the way you keep telling that story to everyone around town.

1318
01:38:00,110 --> 01:38:03,000
I want to hear that story.

1319
01:38:03,000 --> 01:38:04,110
What story?

1320
01:38:04,110 --> 01:38:07,110
The one with you and Johnnie. You know that one?

1321
01:38:07,110 --> 01:38:18,110
Well, Summer-field what she’s trying to say.
She wants to know where you were the night Johnnie was killed.

1322
01:38:18,110 --> 01:38:21,110
I had an audition…

1323
01:38:21,110 --> 01:38:27,000
In front of Professor Payton… and QT.

1324
01:38:27,000 --> 01:38:32,220
Th-That’s it? You finished?
You know we don’t want to interrupt you when you in the flow of your bullshit.

1325
01:38:32,220 --> 01:38:34,110
Tough critic.

1326
01:38:34,110 --> 01:38:38,000
Oh… this guy. Hey listen
: You are! You really are a tough critic.

1327
01:38:38,000 --> 01:38:42,110
I always said that about you.
: It always happens, you never know.

1328
01:38:42,110 --> 01:38:43,220
: Oh! (bottle shakes)
What?

1329
01:38:43,220 --> 01:38:45,110
Did you see that flinch?
No I missed it, what happened?

1330
01:38:45,110 --> 01:38:50,110
Yeah you missed that Chap. Missed that
: Ohhh.

1331
01:38:50,110 --> 01:38:53,000
(Pills clutter)
: You recognize that?

1332
01:38:53,000 --> 01:38:56,000
I know you do.
: Should I?

1333
01:38:56,000 --> 01:38:59,220
Oh we found that right where Johnnie was killed.
: Tsk.

1334
01:38:59,220 --> 01:39:03,000
Ahh. I know, there goes Summer-field again correcting me again.

1335
01:39:03,000 --> 01:39:07,220
The night that Johnnie “overdosed”.

1336
01:39:07,220 --> 01:39:10,000
It’s a Greek tragedy.

1337
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:16,000
Ohh… Wow.
: Right to the heart, right? Right to the heart.

1338
01:39:16,000 --> 01:39:19,110
You know what irony is? Hm?

1339
01:39:19,110 --> 01:39:26,220
It’s a state of affairs or event that seems deliberately contrary
to what one expects.

1340
01:39:26,220 --> 01:39:30,220
And, is often amusing as a result.

1341
01:39:30,220 --> 01:39:32,000
You go girl.

1342
01:39:32,000 --> 01:39:33,000
I know you like that.
: Look at that!

1343
01:39:33,000 --> 01:39:41,000
See the thing is tho, Johnnie’s death was amusing and it wasn’t expected.

1344
01:39:41,000 --> 01:39:47,110
One can never understand the logic of an addict.

1345
01:39:47,110 --> 01:39:51,000
Oh right. Really? Thank you.

1346
01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:54,000
It’s deep this guy.
: Wow, this guy.

1347
01:39:54,000 --> 01:39:57,110
You know the thing is tho…

1348
01:39:57,110 --> 01:40:02,000
Now I know you were with Johnnie the last night that he was alive.

1349
01:40:02,000 --> 01:40:07,110
So let’s cut the bullshit. Tell me your story.

1350
01:40:07,110 --> 01:40:10,110
You know, funny thing about that night.

1351
01:40:10,110 --> 01:40:15,000
:Hey! Can I get an autograph?
: Jesus, Oh shit how did you know where I live?

1352
01:40:15,000 --> 01:40:19,110
: I’ve been vicariously living thru your social media. HAHAHA.

1353
01:40:19,110 --> 01:40:23,000
Drinking tends to kill brain cells.

1354
01:40:23,000 --> 01:40:25,110
I got— I’m sober man.

1355
01:40:25,110 --> 01:40:29,110
: I know. That’s why I brought you beer, you bitch.

1356
01:40:29,110 --> 01:40:32,110
And brain cells connected to the memory.

1357
01:40:32,110 --> 01:40:35,110
Fuck it. Alright. Fuck. Jesus Christ.

1358
01:40:35,110 --> 01:40:38,000
So that’s why that nights a little fuzzy.

1359
01:40:38,000 --> 01:40:48,220
: Wait! Doesn’t count unless you make eye contact!
Cheers…

1360
01:40:48,220 --> 01:40:51,110
All the drinking and alcohol.

1361
01:40:51,110 --> 01:40:54,000
Yeah.

1362
01:40:54,000 --> 01:40:59,110
: Hey… hey.
(grunts).

1363
01:40:59,110 --> 01:41:01,000
Take this.

1364
01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:02,220
(pills jingle in bottle)

1365
01:41:02,220 --> 01:41:07,000
I drink alcohol with my Cheerios. It’s how I get by.

1366
01:41:07,000 --> 01:41:10,000
Everyday that’s the only way I know how.

1367
01:41:10,000 --> 01:41:14,220
You see, so don’t give me this bullshit
you were too wasted. You’re a grown ass man.

1368
01:41:14,220 --> 01:41:17,110
You gotta think and you gotta think harder.

1369
01:41:17,110 --> 01:41:20,000
(Johnnie choking)

1370
01:41:20,000 --> 01:41:22,000
What the fuck is this?! What the fuck did you do?!

1371
01:41:22,000 --> 01:41:26,220
HA HA HA HA HA

1372
01:41:26,220 --> 01:41:37,000
(vomits)

1373
01:41:37,000 --> 01:41:40,000
(glass bottle smashes)

1374
01:41:40,000 --> 01:41:45,220
You see that, you see? It’s always some type bullshit with your people.

1375
01:41:45,220 --> 01:41:48,000
You better think about what your gonna say next.

1376
01:41:48,000 --> 01:41:49,220
Cuz’ we watching you.

1377
01:41:49,220 --> 01:41:52,110
We got our eye on you!

1378
01:41:52,110 --> 01:41:54,000
And you gonna crack.

1379
01:41:54,000 --> 01:41:58,110
And when you do, we gonna be there to pick up the pieces.

1380
01:41:58,110 --> 01:42:00,110
Hm?

1381
01:42:00,110 --> 01:42:02,110
: Capiche?

1382
01:42:02,110 --> 01:42:05,220
See I tell you what.

1383
01:42:05,220 --> 01:42:08,110
You didn’t recognize the pills or the bottle.

1384
01:42:08,110 --> 01:42:12,000
So me? I’m a thinker too, right?
: Yeah. Yeah.

1385
01:42:12,000 --> 01:42:14,110
So I have an idea.
: What’s that?

1386
01:42:14,110 --> 01:42:22,110
How about we get a urine sample from this guy? Let’s clear him,
Let him be a free man. Let’s prove that he’s innocent.

1387
01:42:22,110 --> 01:42:31,000
: Yeah, well it’s too late for that. The timeframe is up for the urine sample.
It’s too late for that?!

1388
01:42:31,000 --> 01:42:34,110
Okay, let’s do this then let’s do this, let’s get a little bit of blood,

1389
01:42:34,110 --> 01:42:40,110
Take the blood back to the lab, clear his name, set him free.
Prove to the world that he did not kill Johnnie-

1390
01:42:40,110 --> 01:42:45,110
Nope. Nope. Nope. Time’s passed. Too late.
: Can’t do that either?! (slaps paper).

1391
01:42:45,110 --> 01:42:49,000
: (exhales) damn.
Son of a bitch.

1392
01:42:49,000 --> 01:42:53,000
I guess that’s it then. I guess our time’s up. Isn’t it?

1393
01:42:53,000 --> 01:42:58,000
: Guess that’s it.
I mean there’s nothing else to talk about.

1394
01:42:58,000 --> 01:43:05,000
Well. Mr. Kehr. Kerr? I’m sorry what’s your name again?
: KEHER?

1395
01:43:05,000 --> 01:43:08,000
: KAHEER? KEE-HER?!
Ohh Mr. KEHER.

1396
01:43:08,000 --> 01:43:12,110
I am your biggest fan tho. Thank you very much.
: Mister KEE-HER. Ha Ha.

1397
01:43:12,110 --> 01:43:17,110
Oh, oh one more thing, on a private note.

1398
01:43:17,110 --> 01:43:22,110
My girl is a huge fan.
She would die if she knew I was with you today.

1399
01:43:22,110 --> 01:43:26,220
Would you mind taking a selfie with me and my partner?
: Oh!

1400
01:43:26,220 --> 01:43:30,000
Come on. Please. Please.
: Is that okay?

1401
01:43:30,000 --> 01:43:35,000
Ohhh. I tell you he’s- Your a special one alright.
: Wow. Wow. Something man.

1402
01:43:35,000 --> 01:43:37,000
Movie star! Ha-ha.

1403
01:43:37,000 --> 01:43:40,000
Here goes nothing.

1404
01:43:40,000 --> 01:43:43,000
Let me get that.
: (sucks teeth)

1405
01:43:43,000 --> 01:43:45,000
Look at his smile, eh? That is a superstar smile, right there.
: Look at that man.

1406
01:43:45,000 --> 01:43:48,110
That is a superstar smile, right there.

1407
01:43:48,110 --> 01:43:50,110
Ohhh yeah!
: WOW!

1408
01:43:50,110 --> 01:43:55,000
That’s nice Chap! Look at that. Wow. Yep.
: That’s nice, I like that one. Look at that.

1409
01:43:55,000 --> 01:44:01,020
You know, I mean you have some really nice hair.
If I must say, you know it’s like a salon type shit, right?

1410
01:44:01,020 --> 01:44:07,010
It’s almost like Johnnie’s in a some eerie way. Same waves.
: Yep.

1411
01:44:07,010 --> 01:44:10,010
Oh. I think that’s a grey hair, right there.

1412
01:44:10,010 --> 01:44:14,000
Oh that’s too bad. Look at that.
: You see that?

1413
01:44:14,000 --> 01:44:17,110
Hate those! Ohhh…
: Handsome man, like himself getting grey already.

1414
01:44:17,110 --> 01:44:20,110
You know.. Sh-Should I? Should I?

1415
01:44:20,110 --> 01:44:23,220
I’ll take that as a yes.
: I buy it.

1416
01:44:23,220 --> 01:44:24,000
Yeah me too.
: Go ahead.

1417
01:44:24,000 --> 01:44:28,220
(hair plucks out)
Ohhh wow that’s good. Now that’s gonna work.

1418
01:44:28,220 --> 01:44:32,110
HA. Yeah. That’s definitely gonna work-
: That’s gonna work for me Chap, that’s gonna work.

1419
01:44:32,110 --> 01:44:34,000
Ah, you got more than one there didn’t you. That’s nice.
: Oh yeah.

1420
01:44:34,000 --> 01:44:37,000
I tell you what? Let’s take that back.
: Gotcha.

1421
01:44:37,000 --> 01:44:39,110
Run DNA.
: Gotcha.

1422
01:44:39,110 --> 01:44:42,110
We’re gonna prove that Mister QEEHER is innocent.
: We gotcha. We got you.

1423
01:44:42,110 --> 01:44:44,110
Once and for all we gonna prove that he’s innocent.

1424
01:44:44,110 --> 01:44:46,110
Alright?
: Yep. We got you buddy.

1425
01:44:46,110 --> 01:44:48,000
Don’t worry.
: Thank you again.

1426
01:44:48,000 --> 01:44:51,110
We got your back, thank you. We got your back. Thank you.
: Alright, I tell you what-

1427
01:44:51,110 --> 01:44:53,110
: You want these lights on or off?

1428
01:44:53,110 --> 01:44:56,220
: Off?
You want them on or off?

1429
01:44:56,220 --> 01:44:59,110
Off. Off. Off.
You want them off, alright.

1430
01:44:59,110 --> 01:45:04,010
: You get some rest now alright buddy?
: Yeah… Oh wow movie star that was something.

1431
01:45:04,010 --> 01:45:05,110
: Whoo.
I love the movies.

1432
01:45:05,110 --> 01:45:11,000
(Door slams)

1433
01:45:11,000 --> 01:45:15,110
Ha Ha.

1434
01:45:15,110 --> 01:45:27,000
Ha Ha Ha (coughs)

1435
01:45:27,000 --> 01:45:32,000
(slow laughter)

1436
01:45:32,000 --> 01:45:37,000
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA