"Oopsie Orgasm" Quotes

Randy "Oopsie Orgasm" Pitchford: Hey pal, Randy here! Now I know what you might be thinking: "Randy, why did you dick everyonr and make bl3 an epic exclusive?" Well I'll you, you u grateful pussy! See, all that wacky dacky "publishing nonsenze" is up to 2K, not us good boys at Gearbox! Were very sorry :( about everything, but if it makes you feel better, heres 3 shift keys! Now go suck my tiny Randenis you selfish whores! I'm going to go siphon 12 million more dollars

Randy "Oopsie Orgasm" Pitchford: Hey pal, Randy here, back again to give you a delicious update on Gearbox's new title, Borderlands 3! Now, it recently came out that Borderlands 3 would be incorporating Gear and XP boosts, with the implication some monetary fee would be involved. I am here to confirm how EPIC GAMING THIS WILL BE. See, your average wacky gamer and especialy members of the cool kids club doesnt have time to sit and play the game they paid for, like a mouth breathing moron (playing the games you buy to play them is gay, amirite fellas!? Dab me up like my son saids) so were just giving the NON MANDATORY OPTION to pay to skip a bit here and there and enjoy the game at a zanier pace. If you dont want to, like the loser virgin pussy you are, you CAN play the game for some reason withoit them, but thatz no fun is it? Exactly! So buy my packs you dumb dick slobbering cunt and give me 12 million more dollars for some barely legal hookers! Randenis Bitchford out!

Randy "Oopsie Orgasm" Pitchford: HEY LITTLE BUDDY! Randy is here to wish you a fruitful Sunday in all your endeavors, especially if you're planning on purchasing the "Diamond Loot Crate" Edition of Borderlands 3! Now, don't forget to do that, otherwise, after this "Epic Games FIasco" (Which is where all prolite epic cunt guzzling pc "Master race XD" gamers buy Borderlands 3, not those pansy gay ass losers who buy it in Peen (Get it gamer, I called the platform "Steam" Peen, like a penis, comparitive of how much I want to use unlike Epic Gaming Store!Do you get it? I Just wanted to make sure!) Regardless of where you buy it, and how many XP Boosts you buy, please do so so my wife won't leave me and I can't hose barely legal sex parties anymore