Abracapuff! Chapter 1

(PARENTHESES) indicate verbal cues
*ASTERISKS* indicate emphasis. more asterisks = more emphasis
[BRACKETS] indicate nonverbal cues and only serve to provide context for the sound design
A space between lines indicates a longer beat than usual, usually around an additional half-second per empty line.

X = Narrator
J = Jinx (if you look closely, you can see the "i really wish i weren't here right now" button. think you can go for a tsundere like asuka from evangelion?)
E = Plaintiff (low-pitched upper class snob)
K = King (gruff n grizzly, all business all the time)
T = Tesoro (somewhere between your natsuki voice and your normal voice. she has a bit of a tendency to quiver in her voice since she's a total coward right now)
G1 = goblin 1 (big dumb brute, "dehhhh tell me about the rabbits george")
G2 = goblin 2 (slimy-ass kinda nasally creep)

[rapid running down the sidewalk]

T: (worriedly, running) C'moooon, cut it ouuuut!!

G1: Huhuh, I think she'd look nice with a big ol pair of tittays!

G2: Naaah, she's more of a pear if ya asks me!

X: The two rambunctious goblins each held their magical wands in an offensive orientation, ready to blast them directly at Tesoro, the cowering catgirl. One half of the duo was far taller than her counterpart, and heavier to boot. This weight came from both her shapely figure and legs resembling tree trunks. The other one was effectively everything her partner wasn't: short, skinny as hell, and practically flat.

Tesoro desperately ran in an effort to avoid becoming a plaything for the bullies, who were intent on settling a bet they had made earlier: if a load of expansionary magic was dumped onto Tesoro, where would she blow up first?

Tesoro finally managed to make a few hairpin turns into the back of *some* garage, any signs were an unreadable blur as she sprinted past them.

G2: Dang, did we lose her?

G1: This is *your* fault!

G2: HUH?? Is NOT!

G1: IS TOO! We woulda had her if we has just split up at that fork!

G2: Oh, NOW you're suddenly a master tactician, huh? That's pretty hard to believe after (just go "blah blah blah" angerly for 5 seconds)

G1: ("blah blah blah" angerly for 5 seconds)

T: (whispering) Those two always bicker like an old married couple.

X: Delving deeper into the garage, one of the doors connected to it's main building: a hospital. Looking around, she could see open-heart surgery being performed with charged wand-like tongs, many a wheelchair-bound patient drawn by small chihuahua-like animals, alongside a... tattoo parlor?

T: (mentally) What kind of hospital has a tattoo parlor? Think, where's somewhere where you see so many cripples, but also people getting "I HEART MOM" tats for street cred?

...

Oh! I know! This has gotta be a *prison* hospital!

X: Right on the money.

T: (continued mentally) Perfect. This is where they keep *all* the screwed up criminals! I've got some pocket change on me too. I'll just bribe some big surly thug with a no-nonsense attitude, then he'll show those goblins a thing or two!

X: Which, for the record, was already an incredibly silly plan with no chance of working in her favor.

T: [casually runs through a double-door] Yeah, I can already imagine. He'll point right down at their stupid faces, tell them: (gimme your best MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE voice for the quotes)
[rock musical cue] "I'll kill you dead, punk!", then "YAH TATATA YAH WA-POWWW" [end rock musical cue] kick their asses! Oh man, I can't wait to see the looks they give me whe- [bumps into a wall, falls flat on her ass] b-oof!

X: After landing flat on her rear, she got back up and responded.

T: (cowering, thinking she bumped into a "no-nonsense thug") Sorry! S-sorry!! I didn't see you there and... oh.

X: As it turned out, Tesoro had ran all the way to the back of the hospital, where "no-chancers" were typically stored; that being the go-to term for people who have been kept under the hospital's care for more than 5 years. There were a disproportional amount of non-humans here, for some odd, perhaps *systemic* reason.

In front of Tesoro laid a completely motionless girl on a stretcher, with a sticker on the front reading:

SUBJECT 7991815

AFFLICTION: COMA

This didn't look at all like the "no-nonsense thug" she had envisioned, especially not when out-cold.

T: (curiosity piqued) Huh. Most of these other guys look like they're on death's doorstep, but this one seems kinda... healthy? Even if she's a bit on the skinny side. Almost makes me wonder why she's he-

X: The stone in her chest glowed once more.

T: Oh.

Oooooooh. I think I get it now. This is one of those "Pull the sword out of the stone" kinda things, isn't it? Well that shouldn't be too hard, just gotta get a good grip on it, aaand... (she tries but fails miserably, resulting in a few weak grunts)

X: If several years of high-precision medical treatments and disintegration spells hadn't been able to dislodge it competently, simply yanking it up wasn't going to do much. The base of the gem was jammed firmly in.

T: (wheezing)

G1: [from war away] Ay boss, I think we found her!

G2: [also from far away] No way, I totally heard her first!

G1: Did not!

G2: Did too!

T: (whispering very quietly to self) You're kidding.

X: Tesoro's eyes went wide, flight instinct kicking in. It was a real shame that she had ended up in the room she did, with no windows and only one door, that of which would land her right in the goblin's clutches. In a frenzy, her shaking hands made their way to the fire alarm, attached to which was a tool-hammer. It was a long shot, but in her odd mind, it was the best bet. She took it and swung wildly at the

Swing and a miss!

Swwwwing and a miss!

Swing and a near-miss, only a breadth's width from snapping one of her ribs in half!

Swing and a... SMAAAAAASH!!! One of the hammer's flat ends makes contact with the gem! Brute force has triumphed, with half the crystal cracking off on impact!

T: Oh god, oh god... I only managed to get half of it out. What happens now? Does she just like, half-wake up?

G1 & G2: TIME'S UP RUNT!

T: Eep!

J: (very quiet, like you just woke up from a two-decade-long nap, obviously. you're still groggy AF) Ungghhhhh... What...

X: She placed a palm on her forehead, head tilting to the side.

J: (still very quiet) Where...

X: Her slumber slowly fades, but retreats back to a state of pretend-sleep once she's greeted by the sight of the catgirl being manhandled by the two goblins. The larger one with Tesoro's arms raised up in a ironclad hold, and the other unsheathing several sharp, poisonous rods. Tesoro kicks and flails about.

T: Lemme-- GO! (part-fear part-aggravation) AGGGH!

G2: Feisty as ever, Tesoro. You'll be a great help in settling this bet my friend over there and I have been debatin' about. When I stick all these here pins into your dumb little belly, will you blow up into the shape of an apple, or a fat-bootied pear?

T: Why do *you* want to know??

G2: Cause we've got money running on this, ya dumb bimbo! Shut your ugly gab!

G1: Ya, that's right! Shut it!

G2: Let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

[thin needle stabbing]

T: (like you got punched in the gut) Hnng.. (heavy breathing)

X: As this this newly-inserted needle lost it's green aura, the area immediately surrounding it began to swell out. Her waistline quickly plumped up, before doubling in size like a marshmallow in the microwave. [blub-bub-bub water sfx] Both goblins eagerly awaited to see where the venom would go.

The bedridden subject observed from a distance, keeping one eye shut as to not give herself away. This worked... for a while. Once Tesoro began to swell up in the hips, the smaller goblin began gloating in her victory.

G2: KNEW IT!
G1: Grr...
G2: Man, you look so fuckin' *stupid* with an ass that huge. Someone call a tow, we've got a WIIIDE LOAD here!

T: C'mon, (tearing up) stop it...
G2: What, don't like it when I tell it as it is? Look at you!
[LOUD slap] T: (wincing) Ah!

G2: That thing's already the size of two beanbag chairs crudely strapped together by ya undies, or somethin'. If it blows up much more, I think we'll need to grab some umbrellas! We're right in the splash zone, ain't that right?
G1: Yeah!

X: Blinded in part by fear, part embarrassment, she was unable to think for herself, instead taking the goblins' word as law.

T: N-no!

G2: Oh, yes. But, since we're kind, peace-loving goblins, we're gonna give you a choice.
J: [mentally] (unenthusiastically) Oh boy, here it comes. Terrible decision inbound.

G2: Since our bet's been settled, my buddy here's gonna let you go. Either you go home and pretend this never happened, or we'll 'splode ya.

T: (unintelligible stuttering. "i-i-i...") [G1 lets go, resulting in T hitting the floor. light inflation "fwish"] Uf-

J: [mentally] I haven't seen someone with so little will in a long time. Her best bet here is to just lay low for a while, a-(nd)
T: You'll PAY FOR THAAAT!
J: [mentally] (flat) Of course. *Now* she decides to get all cocky about herself.

X: The larger goblin stopped walking away, only to turn right around and swing a dark-glowing fist in Tesoro's face, sending her careening backwards at an *astounding* speed. Tesoro shot up off the ground, now trying to jostle the crystal-embedded girl into action.

T: C'mon, come onnn! I saw you starting to wake up, I SWEAR!

X: Tesoro began getting desperate as the two menaces began reapproaching.

G2: (slowly, like she's about to murder someone) You *sure* broke our deal real quick there, hun.

X: The fear in Tesoro's eyes was palpable, her emotions eventually boiling over. She trembled at the hands, eyesight going blurry for moments at a time. In one last saving through, she grasped the hospital stretcher, and upended it onto it's side.

J: (as she's hitting the floor) Guh!

G1: Hey, looks like Tesoro's doll talks now!

X: *Thanks* to Tesoro, this situation was now the awakened girl's problem to handle.

Subject 7991815, Lydia Langrey, got ready to dispose of these rats. As she was *so* used to doing, she mentally whipped up a spell on the spot. One of her palms jutted outward with the other holding it in place. Each goblin flinched as a bright spark of light flashed, before... [short electric spark-crack] nothing. Lydia was in shock for a brief moment. She had been training her craft for *yeeears* before the incident, and now she suddenly couldn't fire a basic off-the-cuff spell? What sort of dystopian bizzaro future had she woken to?

There wasn't enough time to linger on that question, as a [pew] thin green beam whizzed past her head. Her focus was now directed less on her nonfunctional spells, and more on the immediate threat ahead. The smaller goblin fired off [pew pew pew] several more identical magical lasers. Lydia focused on closing the gap, deflecting several of them with her forearm. If she wasn't able to fight back with magic, she'd have to get physical. With her generally lithe physique, this wasn't something she was ever inclined to do. But, what other options did she have?

She continued to ram through [pew pew pew] the barrage. As she suffered more near-misses, however, she began to feel a heaviness forming in her chest. No, not the feeling of dread that the out-of-commission, cowering Tesoro did, a much more physical heaviness. The robes around her began to [groan] tighten completely underneath her nose.

Lydia nearly caught up with the smaller one, only to be intercepted by the larger one. The most Lydia could muster up was her attempt at a 1-2 punch, only to be met with a complete lack of inflicted damage, not even so much as a flinch.

The brute came at her with a series of randomly-thrown punches [swing swwwwing swing], all barely missing. One whiff landed on a stretcher's [loud CLANG] aluminum bracing, putting a severe dent into it. Red markings formed on the goblin's green hand, only to dissipate moments later. Getting back into position afterwards proved to be unreasonably difficult, [sloshing] as if she had to lift two bowling balls off the ground in order to keep fighting. There was no denying it: her bosoms were steadily expanding by the second, now twice their already-respectable size.

J: [mentally] (cold, analytical) They seem to be using the same spells on me that they did to that other girl, who's busy flailing in the corner with her 5-ton ass. I remember there being both spells for expanding breasts and ones to make punches hit harder, but I can't think of a *single* time I saw them combined. How odd...

...odd, but effective. Either that, or this girl's weaker than I thought. Dumber, to boot.

X: [skin groaning] Several leaps and bounds later, she had gradually grown to a laughable size. Her boobs had been pushed out so far that trying to punch normally was an impossibility, dampening her already-weak fighting abilities. Using magic as a crutch for so long was bound to bite her in the ass. Which, coincidentally enough, had also begun to puff up. While not reaching *quite* the size of her top, it was still far larger than the norm.

She had been so busy sizing up the situation, that she hardly noticed several of the smaller goblin's projectiles making direct hits, hastening the expansion to ludicrous levels. [faster groaning] Only constricted by the cloth on her back, and even that had begun to tear at the seams, turning more into a tight vise only sticking on to delay the inevitable. And inevitable it was, as the clothing sheered off just as quickly as it had come into prominence.

J: [mentally, again] What the hell do I even make of this?! Should I be happy about these new curves of mine, or should I be concerned that they're being weaponized against me?

X: In all her years, this wasn't a question Lydia had ever thought she'd have to answer. Her new... mass(?) was huge and cumbersome to deal with, sure, that was evidenced enough by the inability to look down at her own two feet. But, it was also *far* less heavy than she had anticipated. There was a certain amount of liquid being tossed about in her swollen areas. Her skin could clearly be felt thinning, at the same time, though, didn't seem like she was becoming more vunerable to exploding at the slightest provacation. What would happen if she were to keep taking long-distance zaps? If she were to pop, wouldn't it have happened long ago? This put a thought into her head...

Lydia sheparded the larger, close-range goblin in front of the other's line of fire.

G2: Hey idiot, you're in the way!

G1: Huh?

X: While the larger goblin was looking behind her, Lydia used all her might to deliver a huge bodyslam. The goblin sank in at least a foot before being richochet'd backwards, passing several borderline-cadavers in stretchers before directly colliding with her smaller comrade.

G2: (recovering) Nggg... watch where you're flying, ya- (worried, louder) HUH??

G1: Whaddya mean by that, "huh". Like we're outta this just from one little bump.

X: The larger goblin's bust suddenly hopped into her view, jumping several bra sizes at a time.

G1: (it was at this moment that goblin 1 realized that she fucked up) Ohh nooo...

X: They both rapidly swelled up all over, the larger now becoming FAR larger than her other half. The (air quotes) "small-er" puffed up to a size that was anything but small. Through strained cheeks, she got out one last quip:

G2: (smooshed cheeks, obv) "Yuhr a wheel dumbassh."

[BANG BANG, second BANG is slightly quieter than first]

X: The two that were formally there had seemingly dissipated into a misty fog, filled with a platinum-colored sparkling vapor. Scattered amongst was the greens that used to make up their complexion, floating around in a similar state of matter. Curiously, this dark-green soon took an identical hue to the rest of the particles.

Tesoro soon came out of hiding upon hearing the dual bangs; her emotions shifted from realization, to relief, to joy. She began fistpumping the air, a quiet (T: Yesss! That'll keep em off my back for a couple of weeks) escaping her lips.

J: (menacing) I wouldn't celebrate so soon.

T: (nervous gulp)

X: The not-so-mysterious figure grabbed Tesoro by her shirt's collar.

J: (pissed, assertive) Listen, I've just lost who-knows-how-many-years-of-my-life, all 'cause some hack-fraud thief wanted to save her own ass from me blowing her PR wide open. You're gonna explain some things to me real soon, [same rock musical cue as before] or else I've got half a mind to kill you dead. [end rock musical cue] Do I make myself *clear*?

T: H-Hey! You said the line!

J: I said the... what, now?

T: Uh, (nervous giggle) just forget I said that.