Prof. Alphys' students play dodgeball [5/7/20]

"A-alright! S-so, dodgeball! We all know the rules, r-right? If you get hit, you're, uh, out. B-but! Let's, uh, keep it civil, eheheh..."

Professor Alphys was a lot of things, but "qualified gym coach" was not one of them. She stood in the center of the gymnasium, her students on the bleachers, watching her struggle to explain a game that basically boiled down to "throw a ball at your classmates' faces". Susie groaned, rolling her eyes.

"O-okay, well, I can tell we're all eager to begin, so... l-let's split up into teams!"

The students perked up, now listening intently. Kris glanced over at Susie, silently praying to be on her team - Susie was a force to be reckoned with in gym class, and he did not want to be on the receiving end of a dodgeball to the face from her. Jockington, seated beside Catti, started rambling about how "hyped" he was; Catti, scrolling aimlessly through the MonsterBook feed on her phone, pretended not to notice. Berdly sat with arms crossed, a scowl on his face, silently wishing gym would be over already so he could go back to reading.

"R-red team, on the left! U-uh... Kris, S-Susie, Noelle, and Monster Kid!"

Kris breathed a sigh of relief, while Noelle's heart skipped a beat. Monster Kid let out a quiet "Yo..."

"B-blue team, on the right! Catti, Jockington, Berdly, and Snowy!"

Jockington bounced up and down in his seat, yelling "YES! JOCKINGTON AND CATTI FOREVER!", much to Catti's chagrin. Berdly sighed, muttering "Very well..." under his breath. Snowy was busy trying - and failing - to think of dodgeball puns.

"Okay, that's, uh, everyone! Now, are we ready to-"

"aLPS! u forgot TEM!"

Professor Alphys shot a glare at Temmie, who was vibrating intensely in the very back of the bleachers. "T-Temmie, we talked about this... I-I'm sorry, but you're not allowed to participate in d-dodgeball anymore..."

The other students shuddered, remembering the last time they played dodgeball together. Some things simply could not be unseen.

"o YA! it ok! TEM WIL WATCH!!!!"

Alphys sighed in relief, eager to avoid having to provide further counseling services. "Thank you, Temmie. N-now then! Teams, get ready!"

The students dashed to their respective sides of the gym, mentally preparing for battle. Susie cracked her knuckles. Berdly closed his eyes, trying to go to his happy place.

"Get set!"

Noelle's hands trembled. Jockington kept repeating "Get pumped! Get pumped!" at Snowy, making him more than a little uncomfortable. Catti's phone died; she stuffed it into her pocket with a groan.

"GO!"

All hell broke loose.

Susie, moving at breakneck speed, had a ball in her clawed hands within the blink of an eye. She ran in a zig-zag pattern, expertly dodging any ball that came her way. Approaching the center line, she flung the ball with force previously unknown to monsterkind. Poor Snowy, with his head only half in the game, never stood a chance. Looking up just in time to see a rubber ball speeding towards him at 60 mph, he realized that sometimes, the line between comedy and tragedy is blurred.

"S-Snowy! You're out!"

Out in more ways than one, Snowy lay sprawled on the gymnasium floor, seeing stars. Alphys sighed, then waddled over to drag him from the fray. Soon, he joined Temmie on the bleachers.

Kris had never been much of a fighter. While Susie continued to zig-zag around the court, peppering the opposing team with dodgeballs, he used his diminutive presence to his advantage, staying out of harm's way. Rubber balls flew in all directions, but he remained cool and collected. He could do this all day.

Catti would really rather be posting on MonsterBook right now, but with her phone dead, she figured she might as well get into the game. Being a larger target, she knew that she stood no chance alone. But, with a certain legless reptile...

"Jock. Get your slimy behind over here."

Jockington beamed, slithering towards Catti. "OH YEAH! HERE WE GO, BABY! JOCKIN-*grk*"

The snake teen was interrupted midsentence by Catti grabbing him. She uncoiled his body, then held him in front of her chest like a shield. Monster Kid took notice.

"Yo! Teach! Is that allowed?"

Truth be told, Alphys had no idea. But Jockington didn't seem to mind, and the last thing Alphys wanted was to be seen as the "uncool teacher" - at least, any more so than she already was.

"U-uh... s-sure, why not!"

Unfortunately for Monster Kid, questioning Catti's strategy would be his undoing. Grumbling under her breath, Catti tossed Jockington's body over her shoulder, then grabbed a stray ball with her free hand. She wound back, then launched it at MK before he could so much as say "Yo!" It knocked his feet out from under him, sending him to the floor.

"M-Monster Kid! Out!"

"Aw, man!"

Defeated, he slunk over to the bleachers. Temmie celebrated his arrival with a cry of "hOI MOMSTER KIB!!!" Six students remained on the court.

Berdly was silently shocked that he had made it this far, though he'd never admit it. Susie continued to fling dodgeballs across the line at an alarming pace, but her attention was directed mostly towards the "dynamic duo" that was Catti and her reptilian pal. Berdly stayed in the shadows, dodgeball in his wings, waiting for the perfect opportunity. On more than one occasion, he had an opening to hit Noelle. But Berdly liked Noelle - she was one of the only people in town with an actual brain, he thought. No, he didn't want to take out Noelle. He wanted someone else.

Kris passed within striking distance. Heart pounding, Berdly released the ball.

Berdly lacked the strength of, say, Susie, so the ball didn't travel very far. As gravity brought it towards the earth, however, it managed - just barely - to come in contact with Kris's foot. Alphys noticed.

"Kris! Y-you're out!"

Kris frowned, but obeyed, walking dejectedly from the court. Susie saw him leaving and turned towards him, briefly pausing her assault.

"Dude, what happened? Who got you?"

Kris said nothing, but nodded towards Berdly, who looked very proud of himself. Susie made eye contact with the bird, and his smile immediately vanished. Anger rising, she shot him a look that said "I am going to destroy you". Berdly gulped. He was suddenly very glad that he had gone to the bathroom before class.

Susie now turned her attention entirely towards the bird, unleashing a torrent of dodgeballs in his direction. He ran for his life, panting heavily. Curse his scrawny avian legs!

With Susie preoccupied with annihilating Berdly, Catti and Jockington saw their chance. Just when Berdly could run no further, and was about to resign himself to his fate, Catti struck. The attack blindsided Susie - consumed with thoughts of revenge, she had completely abandoned her defense. The ball hit her in the chest, and she immediately screamed a tier-3 swear word at the top of her lungs.

"S-Susie! You're out! S-sorry..."

Susie stormed over to the bleachers, enraged. Kris tried to calm her down as she informed him of her intent to "STRANGLE THAT BIRDBRAIN, THEN SHOVE THAT SLIMY FREAK DOWN HIS FAT FRIEND'S THROAT!" Snowy and Monster Kid shared a horrified look; Temmie vibrated with excitement.

Up until now, Noelle hadn't even picked up a dodgeball. Shy and non-confrontational, she wasn't exactly the type to revel in throwing things at her classmates' faces. But now, with the scaly tomboy of her affection having met an untimely fate, she saw red. Jockington chanting "BOOYAH, BABY! WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE!" certainly didn't help. Gritting her teeth, Noelle reached for a stray ball.

Jockington was in the middle of chanting his name - "J! O! C! K!" - when Noelle's dodgeball smacked him in the head. His oversized sunglasses fell from his face, clattering to the floor. Time went slow as he craned his neck to look at Catti, an expression of profound sadness warping his features. "Catti, baby... I'm finished..."

With that, the snake teen fell from Catti's grasp and began melodramatically writhing on the ground. She watched him spasm for a moment, then slowly turned to face Noelle. The reindeer girl had since retrieved another ball, which she held in trembling hands. There was a faraway look in her eyes. Catti sighed.

"Whatever."

Noelle released the ball; it bounced off Catti's belly. Jockington continued writhing.

"Jockington! Catti! You're b-both out!"

Catti grabbed Jockington by the tail, then lumbered off the court, dragging him along. "Why? Why must the good die young?" Jockington moaned. "...Shut up." Catti replied.

Only two students remained.

Noelle and Berdly made eye contact. Berdly was still panting lightly, his feathers slick with sweat; Noelle wore a thousand-yard stare, her eyes glassy. Both stood perfectly still, sizing each other up. Slowly, Berdly's eyes began to wander, coming to rest on a stationary ball by Noelle's feet. The avian's heartbeat quickened. From the bleachers, the disqualified students watched intently.

Berdly finally spoke. "It doesn't have to be like this, Noelle."

"I... I have no choice, Berdly. It's you, or me."

Berdly shivered. "There's always a choice. You don't have to do this."

Moving in slow motion, Noelle bent her knees and picked up the ball. A steely look came over her as she squeezed it between her hands. A bead of sweat rolled down Berdly's forehead; he was beginning to panic.

"N-NOELLE! Come on, you're... you're too SMART to do this! Please, we can resolve this peacefully!"

Noelle closed her eyes, then took a deep breath.

"No, Berdly. Peace was never an option."

A loud gasp came from the bleachers as Noelle released the ball. It struck Berdly in the chest, and he recoiled, his beak falling open. He staggered backwards for a moment, then collapsed onto the bleachers. It was all over.

"B-Berdly, you're out! W-we have a winner!"

Professor Alphys waddled out onto the court, grabbed Noelle's arm, then raised it high. The other students - with the exception of Berdly, who was still dumbfounded - erupted into applause. Jockington threw a rose.

"S-so, Noelle..." Alphys asked, "How do you feel?"

Noelle stared back at her teacher, a shell-shocked expression on her face. Her lip quivered slightly, but she remained silent.

"U-um, okay! W-well, great job out there!"

All of a sudden, an alarm - one that sounded suspiciously like the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie theme song - went off. Professor Alphys released Noelle's arm - which fell limply to the reindeer girl's side - then dug into her pocket, retrieving her cell phone. She checked the time, then gasped.

"O-oh gosh! Okay, everyone, c-class dismissed. W-we'll play another round tomorrow, a-alright?"

A chorus of cheers came from the bleachers; Berdly began to sweat again. "A-actually, Miss Alphys, I think I feel myself coming down with something..."