Those Who Do Not Move: Val's Actions

Those Who Do Not Move:  Val's Actions

"I'm sorry."  There's a pause as the Lamia slowly casts her eyes down and away, unable to look at the man anymore.  "I know about what happened when you were young, and I know what you must think of me now.  I knew that you wouldn't be able to forgive me, but- but I just couldn't stay away from you!  That night, under the moonlight, I had to see you again."  She pulls herself back and turns further to the wall.  "I knew it was over, so I left before you woke up."  She reaches out and presses a hand to the wall, looking outside to the picturesque garden.  "I came here to remember how things used to be.  I- I never thought that you'd be here."

"Of course I'd be here - I knew that this was where you'd go."  The guy steps forward, much to the surprise of the Lamia.  "That night, I was shocked and, yeah, kind of scared, but I realized that I was more afraid of losing you than I was of being caught."
She slowly starts to shake her head, "I don't understand."
He takes another step forward, gently grabbing her chin and pulling it upward as he whispers, "I could've kept running, but I didn't want to."  They kiss, and the camera pans upward as their moans start to become more intense.

"The Bookmark Channel will return to 'The Moonlight Caught in Her Scales' after this."

"This plot is weird," Cami states bluntly.
"Well, yeah, it's a mamono flick.  I'm not sure what you're expecting."  I told her not to switch to that channel to begin with.  It doesn't distract me from my computer too much, but it's still annoying to listen to.
"But why was he shouting for her to stop if he didn't want her to?"
I let out a sigh and push away from my desk to look at her straight-on.  "It's fantasy fulfillment.  Mamono don't want to think that they're doing anything wrong, but some still have instincts from before the Conciliation.  So they want to think that it's not really rape, that way they can satisfy their needs without feeling bad about hurting anyone."

She lets out a protracted hum to signal understanding.  Her eyes turn to look at the corner of my desk where my black can of S-ENERGY is sitting.  "Hey, can I try some of that?"
"I- well, sure.  I guess it can't do any harm."
She hesitates before getting up, staring at me incredulously.  "Why would it?"
"No reason.  It's a mamono-made energy drink for men, so it's basically just aphrodisiac sugar water."
She stares at me, then back to the drink, then back to me.  "I think I'll pass."
"That seems reasonable."

She sighs loudly at the endless scrawl of products being shown on the television.  "How come they have to waste their time with commercials?  Don't they know I won't be able to do this for much longer?"
This immediately sets off klaxons in my brain.  I cough loudly into my hand and try not to sound too concerned when I ask "You won't?"
"Well, no," she idly answers.  "I'm going to have a lot more to do after you go to the Heavens."
I turn, slowly, to face to her straight on.  I'd expect a thousand questions to be forming in my mind, but somehow I can't seem to get stressed or worried when she's around.  Instead, the only question I can manage is "Really?"
"Yeah."  That's all she feels the need to say.

The gears turn.  She won't be able to do to this "for much longer," which is after I die.  My stomach churns at the implication before my mind steps in, pointing out that she probably doesn't view time the same way people do, considering that she's immortal.
"Wait," the unpleasant realization comes to me with almost violent suddenness.  "I don't want to go there if my family won't be with me."
She turns to me, smiling sweetly.  She answers in the calm, more mature tone that I've connected to her serious, more angelic state of mind.  "Be not afraid, Val, things will be different when the time comes."

"We now return to 'The Moonlight Caught in Her Scales."  She immediately whips back around, eyes glued to the television.

My body finally relaxes with that vague assurance.  I'm not going to worry myself over it.  Worrying hasn't fixed anything here.  Besides, I'm going to the Heavens - what's there to worry about?
Wait, does that mean that it's predestined?
I already decided, I'm not worrying about any of this.  That definitely includes pondering theology.

---

Huh.  Scientists expect nutrition to be a completely understood science within the next twenty years.  The ability of Kikimoras to completely understand the nutritional needs of the human body - or at least the male human body - and instinctively know the necessary foods to fulfill those needs has basically turned the science into a matter of reverse engineering.  Once this is understood, we can make even more focused efforts to end hunger or diet-related illnesses.  Obesity and starvation can both be minimized with the same process.

I reach over to my phone as the buzzing starts, expecting to see Jen wanting to chat about something-or-other in school.  Instead I'm greeted by a name I haven't seen in months.

reimann31 > hey val
shackleborn > luke?
reimann31 > hey
reimann31 > what do u know about magic?
shackleborn > a lot more than i used to
shackleborn > why?
reimann31 > u remember my uncle said he was gonna come over a while back?
reimann31 > he works for the college
reimann31 > apparently he looked me over and i have the knack
reimann31 > third circle and everything
shackleborn > oh wow
shackleborn > congratulations
shackleborn > you gonna quit school and go learn magic?
reimann31 > no
reimann31 > that aint for me
reimann31 > i have plans
reimann31 > i just wanted to learn more about it
reimann31 > since im a wizard and all that
shackleborn > well, actually
shackleborn > lets handle this on the phone, chattingll take too long

It takes me twenty minutes to regurgitate everything I'd heard about magic from Rina, or just what I'd heard here and there.  Apparently half the reason he asked me was because of my curse, since I'd read up on them so much.  The other half was that if he asked his uncle, he'd just try to rope him into joining the college again.
"Why not join the college, though.  Have crazy magic power and live the good life."
There's a sigh over the phone.  "I just can't do it.  I'd have to leave, and I can't just disappear like that."
I understand.  "You're waiting 'til you graduate, then getting back with Valerie?"
There's a pause.  "Don't tell anyone?"
"Of course, man."
"Once we're out of this school, yeah.  I'm thinking of heading back to a more human-controlled city.  I don't want my kids to deal with what I went through."

That's fair.  I can't blame him; I think I'd be more comfortable somewhere else, too.  It's not just my family -- no, it's not them at all.  Even if this doesn't feel like home some of the time, I always know they've got my best interests at heart.  No, it's not my family.  I just don't know if I care about anyone else here.  The girls at school all stare at me, scared or aroused or both.  There's always a group at soccer practice just there to watch the guys run around.  Hells, I remember a Succubus just masturbating on the stands, not caring if anyone saw.  It's not comfortable there anymore.  I'm not sure if it ever really was.

"Hey, thanks for helping me out, man.  You know a lot about this kind of stuff."
I lean back in my chair.  "Well, yeah.  Between the curse, my sisters, and my folks I guess I've picked up a few things.  I'm glad I could help."  I really am, too.  I'm making people happy.  Him and Cara, at least.  That shouldn't be as rare a thing as it is.

---

greenmachine > u have spawned an evil mutantbaby rumor
shackleborn > ... hello to you too jen
greenmachine > n time 4 that
greenmachine > the school is exploding
shackleborn > oh good, i never liked it
greenmachine > its bcuz ur doing smething weird
shackleborn > who actually cares?
greenmachine > EVERYNE DUDE
shackleborn > why?
greenmachine > bcuz ur ripped and single
shackleborn > gotcha
shackleborn > so whats going on?
greenmachine > i told u
greenmachine > evil mutantbaby
shackleborn > im gonna need more to work on here
greenmachine > ok so there WERE just 2 rumors
shackleborn > ok
greenmachine > 1 that u were dating a human
greenmachine > 2 that u were dating a cat
shackleborn > ok
greenmachine > then they had a evil mutantbaby
shackleborn > you lost me
greenmachine > rumor 3 is u r dating a human and using the cat as a cover
shackleborn > well i guess it at least makes sense
shackleborn > it doesnt seem too mutated
shackleborn > i dont see any torch and pitchfork mobs going after this
greenmachine > thats nt the mutantbaby
greenmachine > rumor 4 is ur an orderite

"What."  The unquestioning syllable escaped my throat without any conscious decision, purely driven by the reflexive confusion of the idea that I could have anything to do with the old church.

shackleborn > what in the actual hells
shackleborn > ?
greenmachine > i hve no fckin idea
greenmachine > its just floatin arund
greenmachine > i dnt know who started it
shackleborn > so what they think i want to kill my entire family and half the school
shackleborn > ?
greenmachine > i dont knw dude
greenmachine > no one said that
greenmachine > n one who knows u anway
greenmachine > its weird
greenmachine > it just came out f nwhere

I would say I'm infuriated that any of them would think that, but I'm not.  The empty feeling just seems to grow as it strikes me that I'm as much a stranger to the people at school as I am at home.  How many of these people who know that I keep up with mamono rights, or even that I at least love my sisters, how many of them are just listening to this random rumor and are convinced?  And only Jen actually tells me about it.

shackleborn > fine
greenmachine > like fuck its fine, dude
greenmachine > what are you ging to do at schol?
shackleborn > avoid everyone
shackleborn > like usual
shackleborn > nothings changed
greenmachine > everyne thinks ur some religius nut
shackleborn > i dont care
shackleborn > im really tired
shackleborn > of everything
shackleborn > im out of fucks to give
shackleborn > its fine
greenmachine > shit dude
greenmachine > i wouldnt take this shit
shackleborn > what else is there to do
shackleborn > ?
shackleborn > just dont worry about it
shackleborn > and thanks
greenmachine > i didnt d anythin
shackleborn > yeah you did
shackleborn > you always do
greenmachine > ???

I turn off the program.  I don't want to hear anything else right now.  This is a problem for tomorrow, after a long night's sleep.  Maybe by then I'll have a plan.

Maybe by then I'll care.

---

It's after lunch, so I should probably head out and grab some food before my sisters get home.  I don't want to have to head out when they're all here.  I barely want to head out of my room at all these days.  I still wonder when exactly that happened.  I remember the first time Vee suggested I'd make a good father; that was about three years ago.  I don't think she meant anything by it at the time - it was just how she gauged the men she knew.

I'm still thinking when I find dad in the kitchen, downing a glass of pineapple juice.  The vaguest twinge of recognition for why he's doing that passes through my head, but I've suppressed it enough that the knowledge doesn't really surface.  It's just sort of there, not being uncomfortable or nauseating unless I poke it.

He finishes off the glass and offers an obligatory "Hey there, kiddo."
"Hey."
He tilts the glass toward me, "Gotta stay hydrated before a full moon."
"Not with enough planning," I add.
"No strategy survives contact with the enemy," he counters.
"Maybe yours don't."  He chuckles at that.

I start rooting around in the fridge while he pours himself another glass.  "So," he starts again, "how're things going with you?"
I stop in the middle of grabbing sandwich materials, but I don't turn around.  "Oh, things've been better, I guess."  Please don't ask for details; I'm not telling you about the girls at school randomly thinking that I want to see them all dead.  I don't want to talk about my sisters right now, either.
"Anything I can help with?"
Now I look back.  He's leaning against the counter, glass in both hands, watching me with an appraising stare.  I smile.  "Nah, I'm good now.  I'll have it all under control."
"Attaboy."

He finishes off his second glass, sticks it in the sink, and turns to leave.  I don't know what compels me, but suddenly the question is too important to let pass by.  "Hey," I call.  For a second there's a pause while he turns and waits, and I suddenly start  actually thinking about whether or not I really want to ask the question.
Screw it, I'm curious.  "Why'd you marry mom?"
He pulls his lip into a bemused smile.  "Starting to wonder about the big decision, eh?"  He doesn't give me a chance to answer, "It was simple, really.  All those other women, they'd offer sex over and over and over again.  When I met your mother, she wasn't like that.  She didn't see me as just a source of spirit energy and kids.  She didn't want sex; she wanted me."

He smiles further, "I'd say it's not as simple as that, but for all I know, it might be."
I nod to myself.
"That help you any?"
I pause, then nod again.

"Yeah, I think so."