Alain telling Kanon about his feeles pt 1

[10:03:04] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: I WANT ALAIN TO TRY TO EXPLAIN HIS FEELE TO HER BYE
[10:03:07] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: OK LISTWN TO Me
[10:03:14] • abbi •: because it's not always that he turns away when he doesnt know a thi-- ME TOO
[10:03:14] • abbi •: ME TOO
[10:03:59] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: HE CAN'T LOOK AT HER BUT HE VERY SLOWLY TRIES TO EXPRESS THAT HE
[10:04:07] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HSI OWN FEELINGS SOMETIMES
[10:04:15] • abbi •: MA
[10:04:18] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: AND TRIES TO EXPRESS WHAT THEY FEEL LIKE AND LIKE
[10:04:27] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: he prob wouldn't directly relate them to her but
[10:04:31] • abbi •: KANON IS STARTLED BUT ALSO????????????????????
[10:04:39] • abbi •: SHE'S KIND OF EXCITED? IN A WEIRD WAY?
[10:04:43] • abbi •: She wants to help alainsama
[10:04:53] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: I WANT THIS TO BE CANON SO BAD PLS LET THIS BE WHY SHE--
[10:04:57] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: GESTURES
[10:04:57] • abbi •: ME TOO
[10:04:59] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: AND WHY HE
[10:05:00] • abbi •: ME TOO
[10:05:00] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: AND
[10:05:02] • abbi •: ME TOO
[10:05:04] • abbi •: ME
[10:05:05] • abbi •: IM
[10:05:06] • abbi •: BYE
[10:05:10] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: I'm so glad u feele me
[10:05:14] • abbi •: yes
[10:05:15] • abbi •: ofc
[10:05:33] • abbi •: alain kinda forgetting that he's Not Supposed To Feele
[10:05:48] • abbi •: but he reasons that he's asking her because that way he'd know how to Not Feele
[10:05:51] • abbi •: (it doesnt work)
[10:06:15] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: or he knows he's not supposed to but he trusts her and he doesn't know what else to d--
[10:06:35] • abbi •: i want to die
[10:06:44] • abbi •: only kanon knows these Anomalous Feeles
[10:06:49] • abbi •: knows of
[10:06:59] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: PLEASE I"M SCREAMING
[10:07:33] • abbi •: whenever he has a bad day he just braves through it
[10:07:36] • abbi •: then later he hesitantly
[10:07:39] • abbi •: seeks out kanon
[10:07:46] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: FUCK
[10:07:47] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: fUCK
[10:07:49] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: fUCKJ KIJ UHK AHAJ HAD
[10:07:50] • abbi •: ME TOO
[10:07:51] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: SOAOLMOKSL
[10:07:52] • abbi •: ME TOO
[10:07:54] • abbi •: ME OTJORISJ OGIJR
[10:09:06] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: she's very confused at first (so is he, he can't look at her bc it forces him to acknowledge he's doing this and therefore question why--) but she talks with him abt whatever until he
[10:09:11] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: very quietly
[10:09:21] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: starts talking about Feelings and today was a hard day--
[10:09:30] • abbi •: CRYING
[10:09:45] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: Alain allowing himself to be
[10:09:50] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: vulnerable and not In Control
[10:09:51] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: with her
[10:09:52] • abbi •: OFFGUARD
[10:09:53] • abbi •: MOM
[10:09:54] • abbi •: M OM
[10:10:34] • abbi •: kanon is surprised but she also feels a warm feele and she feels Important because he chose her of all people to tell this to--
[10:11:11] • abbi •: and she also wants to help him because though he doesn't really show it she sees he's distressed and she impulsively takes his hand--
[10:13:15] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: MUFFLED SCREAMING INTO A CUP
[10:17:53] • abbi •: she's surprised at what she did and she looks at him nervously-
[10:18:31] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: I'm crying I don't want to do this anymo
[10:18:35] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: I want off this ship
[10:18:48] • abbi •: nitro
[10:18:50] • abbi •: we've tried getting off
[10:18:59] • abbi •: we couldnt
[10:21:03] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: Alain stiffens up and stares at their hands silently, very very tensely and finds that he can't breathe?? he was a fool to come here, a fool to do this, so he yanks back his hand and gets up and goes to the door without looking at her
[10:21:11] • abbi •: CRIES
[10:21:13] • abbi •: CRIES
[10:21:15] • abbi •: CRIES
[10:21:51] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: pauses for a moment because. he wants to say something, but he still isn't breathing and he wouldn't know what words to say so he just. leaves silently
[10:21:58] • abbi •: kANON IS SO HEARTBROKEN SHE FEELS LIKE SHE HECKED UP
[10:22:00] • abbi •: BYE
[10:22:01] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: unless she stops him but
[10:22:08] • abbi •: she won't i think
[10:22:14] • abbi •: i;m thinking if she will to apologize
[10:22:21] • abbi •: maybe she would
[10:22:50] • abbi •: "ALAIN-SAMA!! I-I'm... i'm sorry--" and her voice kinda cracks toward the end bc she's afraid
[10:22:53] • abbi •: that she hecked up
[10:22:56] • abbi •: she doesnt want to heck u--
[10:23:06] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: I'M DEAD AND GONE
[10:23:28] • abbi •: she's biting her lip trying not to cr
[10:23:56] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: he freezes in his tracks and actually turns very quickly to look at her and
[10:24:12] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: looks vulnerable and scared himself
[10:24:45] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: his chest did a very uncomfortable thing at the way she sounded so scared and he doesn't know what to do but he--
[10:25:15] • abbi •: she saw him turn back and she doesnt know why but she suddenly can't stop her tears no---
[10:25:19] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: NO
[10:25:20] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: NO
[10:25:20] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: NO
[10:25:22] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: I FORBID
[10:25:28] • abbi •: TOO LATE
[10:26:16] • abbi •: She's still biting her lip trying her hardest but the tears just well up and her vision blurs and
[10:26:49] • abbi •: toei should fukcing hire us for these backstories man
[10:26:56] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: do you think he's ever seen her cry before
[10:27:01] • abbi •: probably not
[10:27:10] • abbi •: the closest was when she was scared behind makot
[10:27:11] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: do you think he's ever seen anyone cry/cried before
[10:27:15] • abbi •: btu she wasnt crying
[10:27:15] • abbi •: OH
[10:27:18] • abbi •: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
[10:27:22] • abbi •: I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW
[10:27:23] • abbi •: maybe
[10:27:24] • abbi •: not
[10:27:28] • abbi •: omg
[10:27:32] • abbi •: like i guess he'd know the concept
[10:27:32] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: ME CRYING?
[10:27:35] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: MA
[10:30:40] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: He moves back toward her without even thinking twice, freezes right in front of her bc he's not exactly sure what to do but he can't stand this sight, she looks so small and helpless and frightened but he has no idea what to do with tears, they're probably like a myth to him--
[10:31:23] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: he starts to reach down
[10:31:25] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: pauses
[10:31:59] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: he's trembling but he takes her hands, both of them, in his and kneels down in front of her
[10:32:08] • abbi •: byE
[10:32:08] • abbi •: FUCK M
[10:33:09] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: closes his eyes tightly bc it's physically painful to breathe at this point and he doesn't know what he's doing or what else to do or say
[10:33:24] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: like, with his head down
[10:33:27] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: me dying??
[10:33:39] • abbi •: BYE
[10:33:45] • abbi •: IM CRYING
[10:33:47] • abbi •: ENOUGH
[10:33:48] • abbi •: ENOUGH
[10:33:48] • abbi •: END THIS
[10:34:03] • abbi •: Kanon is startled????????
[10:34:26] • abbi •: startled that he took her hands and startled that he's kneeling
[10:34:29] • abbi •: he's a prince?????????????????????????????
[10:35:12] • abbi •: she doesn't really know what to do she just asks him what he's doing and kneels on the floor w him skldjgslkHFS
[10:35:19] • abbi •: worried and alarmed and confus
[10:36:02] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: KANON, WHILE CRYING, MORE WORRIED ABOUT HIM
[10:36:05] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: BABY
[10:36:55] • abbi •: she's worried and she calls him again and she gently squeezes his hand-
[10:39:26] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: Alain trembles more and stiffens up for a second in response, holds his breath, and he wants to answer but he's infinitely too overwhelmed and doesn't know or understand well enough himself to explain
[10:41:08] • abbi •: Kanon lets a few moments pass before she mumbles another apology
[10:41:12] • abbi •: she feels like crying agai-
[10:43:11] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: Alain's chest twists again and he whispers very hoarsely but almost fiercely that there is no need for an apology
[10:43:30] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: he's the fool here after a--
[10:43:36] • abbi •: IM CRYING
[10:43:37] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: me too
[10:43:57] • abbi •: She flinches but she doesnt say anything and she's looking at him worriedly and also still wants to cr---
[11:08:55] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: ok I've wiped away my tears enough to type and also have food retsu go
[11:09:51] • abbi •: i cant believe u
[11:10:04] • abbi •: (i can but also)
[11:10:39] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: I'm amused that you're always so - when I use JP/accent/etc.
[11:10:42] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: not even _ just -
[11:11:20] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: kakugo
[11:11:23] • abbi •: SDLFKSDFHSD
[11:11:25] • abbi •: FUCK
[11:11:27] • abbi •: I FAILED
[11:11:31] • abbi •: I FAILED AS A FRIEND
[11:11:34] • abbi •: I DIDNT FOLLOW IT UP
[11:11:36] • abbi •: I'M A FAILU
[11:11:42] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: HONESTLY I"M SO DISAPPOINTED
[11:11:46] • abbi •: ME TOO
[11:11:51] • abbi •: I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF
[11:12:05] • abbi •: I WAS REACTING MORE TO U GETTING FOOD AND PREPPIGN FOR MORE TEARS THAN RETSU GO
[11:12:07] • abbi •: I'm a failu
[11:12:28] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: ok but doki doki ship time
[11:14:35] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: Alain doesn't say anything else, he just stays there alternately holding his breath and trying to even out his breathing and with his head kind of swimming, and after a while very slowly starts to relax
[11:15:21] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: slides so he's sitting on the ground instead of kneeling, rests their hands on his knees
[11:17:06] • abbi •: im crying
[11:17:08] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: me too
[11:17:10] • abbi •: just so u know
[11:32:24] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: Alain keeps his head down and his eyes closed and his breathing is more even at least, and he feels like he owes her an explanation, she was so upset and didn't deserve to be pushed away like that (even though this is all against everything that he's supposed to be -- he can't think of that right now)
[11:32:32] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: but he doesn't have an explanation himself
[11:34:54] • abbi •: WE'RE FAKE RPING AGAIN NITRO THIS WILL NOT END WE
[11:35:07] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: LET IT GO
[11:35:08] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: LET IT GO
[11:35:10] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: LET IT HAPPEN
[11:35:22] • abbi •: she doesn't say anything, but she just looks on nervously
[11:35:35] • abbi •: follows suit and sits down
[11:35:40] • abbi •: looking at him carefully
[11:36:02] • abbi •: waiting maybe, it's ok if he doesn't say anything at all even, but she's still so scared she hecked u--
[11:42:17] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: he takes a breath like he's about to speak a couple times and then doesn't for a few more minutes because the words just won't form, hard as he's trying
[11:44:50] Pup Atheistophobe uwu*: and then finally, very softly and gradually because he can barely find the words to articulate what's going on in his head (forget explaining it), "I should not...feel this way. I do not understand why I do."