Nov 27th, 2013
- You awaken to the sound of knocking. You’re still extremely tired, but you’re glad to be up. That dream was really weird, though you can’t quite remember what it was about. The knocking is coming from down the hall so you assume it’s at your front door. Glancing over at the clock you see that, much to your dismay, its only 6:20. You need more sleep than this! You were up late last night finishing a particularly good chapter of a new book you were reading.
- You groan and roll over as whoever is at your door knocks louder. Shaking off the aura of sleep, you groggily sit up and stretch your arms. Whoever is at your door knocks again, this time much louder than the previous two, causing you to jump.
- “HOLD ON!” You yell, lazily getting up out of bed and making your way to the stairs. You make your way through your small house while still rubbing sleep out of your eyes and scratching your neck.
- You open the door and are met with a light green Pegasus pony, about as tall as your shoulder. Both his mane and eyes are a bright orange, and the mark on his thigh shows a simple garden spade with a rose wrapped around the hilt. You have to admit that this sight would have sent you into a mental breakdown some time ago, but you’ve gotten used to it now.
- “Mornin' monkey brains,” the stallion says, punching your arm with a hoof,” c’mon, the game starts in like half an hour!”
- It’s your friend Spring Orchid.
- You chuckle and return the punch to his withers, “Yeah yeah hold your horses butterfly, I’m up.” Your voice is still laced with lethargy as you speak. You yawn shortly after finishing your sentence.
- Orchid’s been your closest friend here in Equestria since the very start. He was the one who found you passed out on the side of a cobbled road outside of Canterlot. Without his help getting you to a hospital the injuries you had would have been fatal. He was also responsible for helping you get work and a house. As small and worn your house is, it’s comfortable, and you were very grateful to Princess Celestia for sympathising your plight and granting you Equestrian citizenship.
- With a laugh your equine friend turns around and makes his way toward the street.
- “Let’s go Anon, Silver and Harrier are waiting,” He calls back to you.
- “I’ve gotta get changed, wait a minute,” you say making your way back to your room, ignoring the exasperated groan from your equine friend. As you get changed you notice your muscles are a little sore, and you feel a lot more tired than usual. You really should have slept a little more last night.
- “I still don’t get why you have clothes for sleeping that you can’t go out in, it doesn’t make any sense! You should stick with one set of clothes, or just not bother with them. The whole clothing taboo thing is weird in the first place.” Orchid said as you locked your front door, now dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a yellow shirt.
- Whatever it was that got you here, it left your clothes behind and you had to parade around naked for the first few days. The Ponies didn’t understand it but you were mortified. As soon as you could, you managed to get a Canterlot designer to fashion you up some things to wear.
- You had to watch over the entire process to make sure that he didn’t make things to eccentric, stressing that this was just for casual wear and comfort. Fine Silk was intrigued by the concept of a civilization that wore clothes almost 24/7, and he was rather disappointed that you didn’t want something more ‘dazzling’. The stallion and you were on good terms though. He was your main contact for anything clothing wise.
- “It’s just the way it is Orchid, It’s what makes me comfortable.” You reply, placing your key in the back pocket of your jeans.
- You both start walking down the road toward the Hoofball stadium. You were never really much of a sports fan back at home, but since coming to Equestria you’ve been deprived of all the entertainment technology you were so used to, so watching sports is something you’ve grown to really enjoy.
- “I knew you wouldn’t have time for breakfast so I brought you a banana.” He says, reaching into his saddlebags to pull out the aforementioned fruit. This had been an ongoing joke, since the only thing that resembled humans in Equestria were monkeys. You scoff at him, but still take the food. You actually are hungry right now, and food is food.
- “Have I ever told you that you look like something that would belong on a circus ride back home?” You joke.
- After some time walking and chatting with your friend, you find yourself just outside the gates to the stadium. Noticing your other friends just past the gate, you both make your way over to them. Before you stand two ponies, a light tan Pegasus mare with light pink hair tied in a bun, and a stocky earth pony stallion with a yellow coat and a stark white mane.
- The Pegasus greets you with a friendly hug around your shoulders, flapping her wings to balance herself. You smile and return the gesture. That’s another thing you’ve noticed about Equestria. Ponies seem to be much more open about physical displays of affection between friends, even stallions. Orchid tends to hold off though, only because he understands that it makes you a bit uncomfortable.
- Orchid is convinced that Humans are a bunch of stuck up, introverted loners based on what you’ve told him.
- “It must suck. Like... what happens at parties? Does everypony just stand around rigid like boards avoiding each other?” He had said. You tried to explain that that’s not how it was, but he was convinced otherwise.
- One thing he will admit is that when a random boner decides to interrupt anything, you have it much easier. While they don’t wear clothes, the Ponies tails cover pretty much everything important, and when their junk is exposed in any way it’s about as mortifying as it is for humans.
- The outside stuff seems to be fine though, like the sheath and balls and such. And it’s pretty much the same deal for mares. No one seems to care if you catch a glimpse of their sheath or outer lips, since they’re pretty inconspicuous as they are. But as soon as you see a stallion’s partially unsheathed penis or the pink inside a mare’s vagina, it’s very awkward and embarrassing for both parties. The whole thing is really weird but you’ve gotten used to it as time has passed.
- You greet Silver Script with a fist/hoof bump once Harrier lets go of you.
- “Hey guys,” you say, “sorry I’m late.”
- “That’s fine Anon, it’s just about to start,” Silver said with a wave of the hoof, “The Minotaurs are gonna kick The Hydras flanks!” His thick Manehattan accent was apparent as he spoke. That’s just one of many weird parallels between earth and Equestria. There are a lot of really similar cities, both in name and in culture.
- This actually might have something to do with the translation spell Princess Twilight cast to replace your vocabulary with Equestrian dialogue. Names of Equestrian cities and towns were made to sound familiar in your mind. It wasn’t a complete overwrite, as some English words didn’t have an Equestrian counterpart, which you got to keep along with proper Nouns, but otherwise the spell took away your understanding of English almost entirely and replaced it with Equestrian.
- You’re still not sure how you feel about someone meddling with your mind like that, but the spell doesn’t make anything feel different and it’s better than the alternative of not being able to understand anypony. That was a very confusing couple of days.
- You can tell that the language you’re speaking isn’t English, but you understand it so well that it doesn’t feel strange at all. Most of your friends describe your accent as 'exotic' but that’s the extent of it.
- “Hah, yeah right!” you shoot back, “The Hydras haven’t lost once this season, Manehattan doesn’t stand a chance!”
- You and Orchid share a whoop, both rooting for the same team. Silver is about to retort when Harrier catches your attention.
- “C’mon boys, game’s about to start.” She says, making her way toward the stand.
- The three of you share a competitive glance before following her to find a seat. The crowd’s pretty full today, and you catch the usual glance or two from ponies you don’t know. Considering you’re the only one of your kind in Equestria, it’s become common hat for ponies to be intrigued, frightened or even disgusted at the big hairless ape. You don’t let it bother you anymore though, it was something you’d dealt with for a whole year now and it wasn’t going to change any time soon.
- The game was an exciting one. Canterlot led 2 nil for most of the game, but Manehattan brought it right back in the last 10 minutes, taking it into extra time. It was close, but much to the dismay of Orchid, Harrier and yourself, Manehattan came out on top in the penalty shootout.
- You couldn’t help feeling off during the game. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but it didn’t bother you enough to focus on. You enjoyed it regardless, and it was just a feeling.
- After a good bit of gloating from Silver, the four of you make your way to your favourite restaurant. Since Pegasus ponies can eat fish, there are plenty of restaurants and cafes that serve it. So your protein level isn’t completely down the drain at this point. There’s a particular place that serves a really good battered trout, and you go there regularly. They still serve plenty of greens, so there’s something for everypony.
- “So Anon, umm, weird question but when’s your birthday? If I’m right, tomorrow you’ve officially been in Equestria for a year, and we’ve never held you a party or anything!”
- You take a moment to mull over what he said, before answering. “I actually don’t know, an Equestrian year is a lot longer than a year back on Earth, plus the months have different names, I’m not sure I really have a birthday.”
- Equestria’s year was split up into 20 months, each one 20 days long. It was a neat system that didn’t need to account for a quarter day every year on account of the three demigods controlling the celestial bodies. The days were also a fair bit longer, lasting roughly one and a half Earth days, and were split up into 20 hours, those hours lasting almost 2 Earth hours, but not quite. It took a while to get used to but it was kind of easy once your internal clock had adjusted itself.
- “How about we make tomorrow your birthday?” asked Harrier, “I mean, it’d only make sense to make it the day you got here right?”
- You look thoughtful for a moment before nodding. “Yeah I don’t see why not. Uhh... what do we do?”
- Orchid spoke up, “Well we’d usually just buy you something nice and have a party I guess.”
- You laugh, “Well that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Don’t worry about the gifts though, I can’t really think of anything I’d want or need to be honest. I think I could get Serene to let me take tomorrow off.”
- “Awesome, your place at 14, I’ll bring the booze.” Orchid grins and pumps his hoof in the air.
- Having made your plans for tomorrow, the four of you finish lunch and make your separate ways. Orchid pulls you aside and asks you if you're feeling OK. Apparently he's noticed you being a bit uncomfortable. You wave him off saying it's just tiredness, but you're actually wondering about it yourself now.
- You've got a shift this afternoon and you’re fully booked. It was a suggestion from Orchid that landed you a job at a local day spa. .Your hands were suited for the job quite nicely, and it didn’t take all too long to learn everything about proper massages techniques. Also your co worker Serene is the kindest mare you know, You and her share the small house next to the spa, and you’ve grown to be quite close, almost more so than with Orchid. You’d almost go as far to say that you've become like siblings.
- You reach the doors of the spa and make your way inside, walking past the counter and into the staff room. You see a purple unicorn mare finishing up her lunch break; she smiles as she notices you and makes her way over to nuzzle you affectionately. It’s completely platonic of course. While she has a great personality and all, short colourful horses don’t really do it for you.
- “You’re here a little early today!” She says, pulling away from the embrace.
- “I didn’t have anything else to do, so I figured I’d get enough time to sort out my schedule.” You reply, walking over and grabbing your uniform. It’s a light pastel blue and green outfit that matches the spa’s overall color scheme. It’s admittedly a little girly looking but you put up with it. Hurting your masculinity comes with both the job and living in Equestria altogether.
- “Oh well aren’t you a trooper! Sorry I didn’t see you on the way out this morning, I left early for a special client, I’m sure you managed to take care of yourself though.”
- You grunt in affirmation, checking over your schedule for the afternoon. Morning Glory cancelled the 11 o’clock when you saw her this morning, and you promised raindrop you’d get her a slot at 10:20. First up on the list is Prince Blueblood at 10. Oh god not this guy. The pompous prince has flirted with you every single visit, making massaging him extremely awkward for you. You’d never have pegged him to be a colt cuddler, considering how fondly most mares talk of him, but you’re straight! And he really doesn’t seem to ever get the message. Also the fact that he’s a pony doesn’t really help matters.
- You’re not really a Xenophile yourself, but it’s definitely something that’s apparent in Equestria. With so many different intelligent species it’s not uncommon to see a pony courting a Griffon, a Minotaur, or even a young Dragon. A few ponies (Blueblood included) and various other species had taken interest in the new creature, and had made some advances on you, which you politely turned down. Minotaurs were the most common due to the similarity in body shape, and while you’ll admit female Minotaurs look alright, you’re a bit put off by the fact that they’re twice your size and would likely make you very sore in bed. You weren’t a furry back on earth, but an Equestrian year of depravity has reduced your inhibition just a little.
- You sigh and put the clip board down, having sorted out all your timeslots and appointments. You’re definitely not looking forward to the first appointment. You still haven’t shaken the feeling of lethargy you’ve been experiencing all day.
- Well... Let’s get this out of the way then.
- You flop back onto the couch, groaning as the exhaustion from the hours of work starts to wear off almost immediately. Serene trots past you toward the kitchen, dropping your discarded clothes over the back of the couch, muttering something about keeping the house clean. You’re too worn out to care.
- She asks if you want any dinner, and you tell her you had a big lunch. In all honesty you’re a little hungry, but the prospect of getting up doesn’t seem worth it. You lazily reach over to grab a book from the table next to you, opening it up to the chapter you left it at last night.
- As the night goes on, you find yourself getting more and more exhausted. Why are you so tired? You didn’t do anything too strenuous today, and a glance at the clock tells you it’s only 5 past 15. Nevertheless your body aches of exertion and you decide an early night might not be a bad idea. Being too tired to get up and walk to your room, you stay on the couch. Your head’s feeling numb now. In fact most of your body is feeling numb. What the fuck’s going on? You’d been feeling weird today but this is getting kind of worrying.
- You try to call out to Serene, but you can’t even muster the strength to talk. You start to panic moments before darkness takes you.
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