[Hanako] Inner Beauty

Inner Beauty


My dearest Hisao,

Where do I begin? Today is our 10th wedding anniversary, and my passion for you has not yet dwindled. Something about you has managed to keep me around, you know? I could have left you at various points in our relationship, but because of you being you and your willingness to accept me as a person... I could not even imagine doing so. My love for you has been great, ever since that moment that I shared my first ever 'gift' with you. You looked past my problematic past and my extremely shy personality and just kept showing me in many different ways that none of that could affect how you thought of me. Your mindset was stuck in fifth gear, and it was never going to come out of it. I can't believe that I can say today we've been married for ten years. All of those memories, starting at Yamaku and leading up to where we are today... well, they're just emotionally captivating. You're the father of my first born child, and there's no possible way that anyone else could be a better father than you. You've cared for our little bundle of joy through sickness and health, just like you promised you'd care for me when we stood at the altar all those years ago.

It's been an emotional roller coaster for us. We've had ups and downs, with jobs lost and money gained. We've fought through what I thought would have ended in years of debt and rebounded, with you gaining your job at the medical research facility and myself returning to Yamaku as the school social worker. Hasn't it been wonderful? Together, in love for 15 years of our young lives, and we've managed to pull through all of our hardships together. I can't begin to thank you enough for what you've done for me in my life so far. Just thinking back to high school, thinking back to the day that we graduated, the day that we were up on stage together in front of a crowd of nearly a thousand people... We were two kids who had a plan for our future. A plan that involved us being together for our lives, however long they end up being. A plan that had us living together, starting our young lives off on a joint path that we had paved for ourselves. Of course, obstacles were to be had on our path. Arguments, money problems, sickness... things that couldn't be helped. But, the day you propsed to me, the day you came to Yamaku while I was doing an intership to become a social worker... I will never forget that day. In front of all of the people who knew us, including some who were with us during our high school years, it felt as if we were just falling in love again.

Then the day actually came. Walking down that aisle, the magical scene with the sun setting behind us... It was all I could ever ask for in life. I could have easily died happily right after that moment, knowing that this was one of the many picture perfect moments of our time together. The birth of our beautiful daughter was another of those many. So much raw emotion from the both of us, the fact that we knew we had brought someone into this world had brought both of us so much joy after all of the pains that lead up to our moment. That moment was one that made me realize something about us; we had no real goal with our love. It knows no bounds. All we wanted for each other was happiness, tranquility and a family that we could be proud to call our own. Our moments together, from our wedding, to the birth of our child, even our first anniversary, all of them have one thing in common: Us being together for the rest of our lives.

I told you the day that you proposed to me, if you'd happen to recall, that I wasn't joking around up on that stage at graduation. When I told you I was embarrassed to say I wanted to spend my life with you out loud, it's because I was. I was afraid that everyone would call me crazy, saying it was just some form of puppy love that would end in a few years from an argument or something stupid. But, I knew at that exact moment that there was no window of opporunity for anything else to get in the way; we were going to be together forever. That may sound a bit harsh, maybe even sound like 'that overprotective girlfriend / wife who has no sense for what their partner wants'. The thing is, you agreed with me. When you agreed with me on that stage, sealed with a kiss, I knew our love was eternal. While eternity is an unknown amount of time, I know my love for you will never go away. After we move on from this life, the love will still exist in my heart, even when it has stopped beating.

Hisao, it's beyond belief that I'm even sitting here, although bedridden, writing my annual love letter to you. It just feels natural to me now, like I have to put no thought into what I say; I can just throw it out there because I know how I feel about you.

Happy 10th anniversary, my love, and may we look forward to the many more in our future.

Forever yours,
Hana

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I stare at the simple piece of paper, covered with a little dust and wearing from its old age. If I would have known that our 10th would have been our last anniversary together, I would have attempted to do something more for her. Her illness that she come down with was destroying her, from the inside out. Her organs were beginning to fail within weeks of our anniversary, her bones were beginning to become brittle, her body was in so much pain that eventually... well, she decided it was best if they just took her off of life support. She gave me a farewell kiss, knowing that one day we would meet again. Shortly after, she was gone.

Today would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. My tears stain this final letter of her anniversary tradition, as well as the other nine that are spread all across my office desk. Everyone thought I was going to be the first to die because of my heart problems. Turns out, with the medical advances made by my very own medical research company, I can live as long as double what my life expectancy once was. I can live my life to the fullest, continuing research and living happily. I've lived to see my daughter grow up into a beautiful adult and start off on her own adventure in life. If I so choose, I could live until my daughter has children of her own. The trouble is, I don't know if I want to live that long anymore.

"Dad!" I hear my daughter call out from downstairs, with what sounds like a lot of joy in her voice. "I'm home! Also, you would never guess! Hiro proposed to me today!"

I delicately place down the final letter from my love. Maybe, when the time is right, I can join her once more.


"Inner Beauty" is a song produced by Hybrid Minds.