Saturday Jan 20, 2018
TV SHOWS, BELT BUCKLES, AND AIRPORTS
I was watching a TV show, and it seemed real. I was with Robin I think.
Then I saw this family, and they were there--there was another family too later on, that's when the daughter escaped and they were there, but plot twist they were the same family but younger? like a few years in the past. There was a fat guy, his wife, a brother and a daughter. The fat guy, I believe, looked very tall but also very wide. His younger self was less fat, and had less stubble. He looked like the fattest guy from the British Office.
The daughter seemed to be the main character. I think she wore a beany of some sort, and she has medium short brown hair, dressed tomboyishly, and she was average-thin body type. She seemed very teenager like, almost 90s like. She was really cool. I... felt her feelings. I was her, but also had my own thoughts, like "hey i recognize that."
I (or the main character) stayed in a room that looked like Spencer's old room from Minnesota, but mirrored.
There was a big bed with a headboard with drawers, and a shelf. There was a small entertainment center with an old CRT box TV. I think it was on. The door was perpendicular to the bed, and the window was parallel to the door. There was room between the bed and the wall with the window where I could lay if I wanted. It was a carpeted floor.
I (or the main character) smoked a cigarette in the room and it was like self lighting. Not an e-cig, a real cig that went red when you inhaled it. I had Lauren's old ashtray. I spilled a bit of the ashes. Someone was coming downstairs, I could hear the footsteps upstairs. They travelled to the stairs. You know when someone is going up or down stairs. It sounded... felt so vivid. I think I hid the ashtray at that point and I don't remember what happened.
Turns out they were my family. I had this realization and pointed it out to Robin... it's weird because it felt like we were watching this dream in third person and commentating on it periodically. But I also felt the main character, and I WAS the main character. Turns out this family was MY family. I don't know when they became that, but they somehow morphed or there was something I forgot.
Duncan told me that the belt i wore had a picture book instructions book, which he read on the buckle. And I wanted it. The belt also had a battery compartment. Some person next to me, presumably a millennial, asked me how I survived the plane ride here, since got back at 3am. I said little Starbucks coffee things and shes like, "in a bag?" and I said, "no, in bottles, glass bottles." I had flashbacks to the plane ride, and I was in a terminal. That's all I remember, before my dad told me to wake up. It was noon. That was some Black Mirror shit.
Is this my mind wishing to go back to Missouri? Is this my mind telling me how girly I am? Is this my mind simply wanting nicotine or... Starbucks?!
***
Now I'm awake and I'm remembering another dream I had years ago, when I entered an airport and it was big. This wasn't in the dream I just had, because I remembered it right now. The walls had some yellow black caution stripe pattern toward the bottom of the wall near the floor and the rest was white, like the floor was lined with this pattern. It was more like a storage area than an airport lobby. I walked into a claustrophobic hallway toward the plane. I got on the plane and sat next to someone, may have talked to them. The plane went forward and kept going. This plane was HUGE... and tall. It kept going, and it took off. Or was I on a bridge? I'm also remembering being on a big bridge that just went up and up and up. Blue sky, just a huge bridge, going up, and there's a feeling of dread, like I'm gonna die. I think that's when i woke up. I may have had this dream when I first moved to Connecticut. I don't remember. I could've just made this shit up right now, but it feels like I had to recall it from the recesses of my brain to write it.
I think dreams are like cheese, they start out like cheddar, but they get holes like swiss over time, until they get eaten by your subconscious, then they're gone. But they still occupy your subcon, and I think my subcon just threw up in my mind. I'm AWAKE right now but basically just recalled a dream almost entirely, probably not accurately though.
Fear and dread...but in a way that's exhilarating...
I need breakfast.