I've failed as a server owner. My IRL issues have turned me into a douchebag who takes advantage of people and I have ruined my server because of that. My server gets shittier and shittier not only because I do not enforce rules, but because of the immaturity and lack of common sense and etiquette. With all the work I've put into my server, I feel like I could have done so much better. My life has revolved around Minecraft for far too long. It's become a sad obsession. I spend hours a day on my server moderating it, because I have nothing else to do. However, if my presence was to disappear, the server would get worse and worse.


It has come to the point where I am stressed in real life because of my server. People take my Open PvP way too seriously and it feels like too much of a task to keep my server free of spam and moderate it to the best of my ability. Every time someone dies, they think whoever killed them was hacking. All I do anymore is hang out on Open PvP, literally monitoring people like children. After months of doing this, I just can't take it anymore. I'm going to have to downgrade, or do something to stop the snowballing monster that my server has become. The immaturity, the "rekt", the spam, the complaining, I just cannot take it. I don't know how I'm going to solve the problem. Do I need more moderators? Do I shutdown Open PvP? If you have any ideas please message me. I don't even feel as if hosting is the problem, it's solely Open PvP.

I became a dick in this community because the pride of accomplishing great things got to me. The lack of friendships IRL, my depression are examples of this. The "power" got to me. I became conceited and for that, I am sorry. I am sorry to everyone.

I'm lost here. I love the experience and privilege of providing my server for people to play on. I'm just lost and need direction.