(btw i wrote this to a friend on thursday night of last week)

ok listen
usually i don't tell people about my life because i don't think people have the time of day to even think about this stuff and also my problems are not unique
but right now
i feel like i'm being
MAXIMALY
MAXIMALLY*
baited
you ready to hear a totally non-unique but crazy for me story?
i'll give you the TL;DR version, but you might miss some context that might be important

basically met a girl on tinder, and everything wholesome that COULD happen HAS happened. RIGHT NOW i feel like i've met NEO, the One, and she literally asked me to live with her, and i feel like we've literally been dating months even though i LITERALLY MET HER ON TUESDAY.  red flags clear as day but y'know. usually i would just be like "oh she treats every guy she meets like this" but she told me all these stories about previous relationships and it was all supremely meta and in fact you could say it was comparable to the last frame of the expanding brain meme that i posted on the stanford ssbm page but, i mean, you don't just pull stories like that out of your ass so i'm inclined to believe i'm a unique experience, but of course the whole situation is so ridiculous that i need perspective