YOU FOOL (candybutt, shitpost, comedy)

>>Hi Anon! Were these wires important?

YOU FOOL!
I TOLD YOU TO CUT THE YELLOW ONE!
>"But you didn't tell me not to cut the red one, silly!"
YOU'VE KILLED US ALL!
>>"Auto-destruction in five minutes."
>"Oh no... what do we do now?"
It's a crystonuclear bomb you pink numbnut! What do you think we can do?!
>"lol idk, you're the nerd here!"
Ugh! There's nothing we can do! It's all over!
The blast is going to flatten the entire crystal kingdom and half of the frozen north, and the radiation clouds will certainly decimate half of the planet's population in the next ten years too!
>"Oh... but I don't want to die!"
Well maybe you could've thought about this before dooming us all, eh?!
>"But it's your bomb, so, technically it's not my fault but you--"
Don't you fucking throw this on me!
>"But we wouldn't be here if you didn't have it in the first place--"
OH YEAH?! And what were you going to do when the aliens came, eh?! Giving them flowers and asking them to be your friends?!
>"But aliens don't exist, silly!"
You realize you're telling that to an alien, right?
>"But you're not an alien, silly, you're Anon!"
Stop calling me silly!
>>"Four minutes before explosion."
FUCK
>"Quick, Anon, get on all fours!"
What? Why?
>"Stop asking questions and do it! We don't have time for this!"
Okay, but it better not be one of your retarded prank--WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING
>"Well duh! I'm removing your pants since they're in the way!"
No, I got that part, my question was WHY would you do that!
>"Because Shining never let me fuck him in the ass and I don't want to die a virgin!"
WHAT?!
>"Yeah, tell me about it! He's so stubborn sometime, and whenever I asked him about it he'd say something about it being gay and that if he did then his balls would fall off and he'd go bald!"
No! I don't give a fuck about that part! How can you be a virgin if you're a mom you overgrown flamingo! That doesn't make any sense!
>"Oh Anon, you're so silly! That was just my marehood's virginity, not my alicorn cock's! That's not how babies are mad--what are you doing?"
I'm inverting the crystoliquid's polarity so the bomb detonates faster.
I've had enough.