Quit w

I'm gonna be honest here, I'm done with osu!, it used to be fun, it was a phase in my life, and now it's over.
Let's not to say I won't be coming back on an alt to post maps or continue playing other rhythm games tho, cause I will most likely do both in the future.

The osu! community used to be really cool and really chill, but overtime, it's gradually shifted to become more and more intolerable;
From the taiko discords being absolute shite, a suprising amount of haters in the mapping community that can only hate and not bring any actual criticism, and the most atrocious moderation I've seen on ANY SITE, EVER (These guys literally delete my posts because they feel like it, and when I asked why, they said "we have the right to moderate at our own discredition" which is basically a roundabout way of saying, "We are removing your posts literally just because we feel like it, even when it's blatantly obvious we're doing so and you didn't violate any rules).

Shit only really started going downhill in late 2017 - early 2018, but when it went downhill, it came like an avalanche.
Quickly, the osu! community that I used to know suddenly became a demon, it quickly became everything I hated about video game communities as a whole: community were dicks, they were all apathetic, they hate anything that isn't sterile and normie, they condemn non-game related stuff, they don't take well to being called out, and there seemed to be way more trolls than 2012 minecraft.

Even so, I still tried to persevere, I still wanted to love the osu! community, I still watned to believe I could have fun playing it. But sadly, I couldn't keep this delusion up forever.
Not even ctb was enough to make me stay, and ctb is pretty much the only unique game mode in the entire game: the rest are clones.
Regardless of how attached I was to this community, I knew I had to let go sooner or later, or else I would just keep getting dragged into depression over and over again.

The real death blow here were the random unannounced silences and deletes when my posts weren't in rule violation, they were only locked or deleted cause they mentioned LGBT rtelated things or were too "offensive." (when in reality, most of the shit I talk about on the forums is very tame, and it's a conversation I could easily have with a stranger at a bus stop or an accquaintance in my english class).
These silences were mildly annoying at first, but as they kept growing longer and longer, I could map less and less. I couldn't update my maps, they were constantly being graveyarded and dead cause I couldn't update, I couldn't organize collabs, I couldn't get mods, and most importantly, I could only get very limited feedback on my maps.

Mapping was always the silver lining, even if I was complete shit at the game, and I was tired, or I wasn't in the mood to play that day, I could still interact with the game and enjoy myself.
But with that taken away, it's just not fun anymore. It's not fun having to walk on FUCKING EGGSHELLS with lterally every single post I make, even in OT (Which they take seriously for some inexplicable reason).
If the silences only limited my ability to interact with forums, I'd be fine. But being completely unable to map is too much.

I could understand if the silences were justified too, but, spoiler alert: They are not. Flanster is literally only blocking my posts cayuse he doesn't like the fact that I'm a transgender or the fact that I'm a furry. And that's honestly pretty sad. The golden rule of modding is to not let your emotions/personal vendettas take over your logic; That's what caused the downfall of some of my early minecraft servers back in the glory days of minecraft.
Flanster completely failed at doing his job and did the worst thing possible. Imagine if cops could taze you and lock you up for being a furry or being trans; wouldn't be so fun, would it? That's basically what Flanster is doing.

Anyway, enough about Flanster.
The point is, this game was fun while it lasted. It turned rotten like anything else, but I think it's most similar to a cake; At first the icing becomes nasty and hard, then the granish and outer layers start to get all flaky and nasty, then the inner layers start to fuck up, and a few days later, the cake is completely inedible, and just a shell of its former self.

In the big picture, and in hindsight, I probably should've went with a different game to invest my time in: I was banking on tf2, but couldn't play it due to technical limitations.
I probably should've joined like o2jam or something, or hell, maybe FFR might've even been better back then, I don't know about that one tho, I didn't start playing FFR until mid 2017.

But, to all the decent human beings in this community, I thank you for sticking with me while you did, I really appreciate it! And if there's a silver lining to this, osu! served as a re-entry back into rhythm games for me, and I gained quite a bit of VSRG skill as well.

Either way, I've got much bigger beasts to conquer than getting top 100 in US for mania, or actually getting a map ranked. I've got body image issues, I'm close to falling back into depression: and I don't need to fight this war anymore, I don't need to be part of a community that constantly is out for me and hates my guts. I can do things that will make me much happier and improve me more.

See you on the other side :)

- Wolfie <3