As you sleep, your rest becomes increasingly disturbed. You feel a great weight on top of you and you find it difficult to breathe. Stirred to consciousness, your eyes are greeted by an enormous pair of blue tinged breasts. The nipples are quite long and thick and are surrounded by large, round areola. A deep, feminine voice breaks the silence. "I was wondering if you would wake up." You turn your head to the voice to see the visage of a sharp-featured, attractive woman. The woman grins mischievously and speaks again. "I was hoping that idiot, Giacomo, did not dilute the 'potion' again." Your campfire reflects off the woman's face and her beauty contains some sharply contrasting features. The pupils of her eyes are slit like a cat's. As she grins, she bares her teeth, which contain two pairs of long and short fangs. This woman is clearly NOT human! In shock, you attempt to get up, only prompting the woman to prove her inhuman nature by grabbing your shoulders and pinning you to the ground. You see that each finger on her hand also contains a fourth joint, further proving her status. Before you can speak a word, the woman begins mocking your fear and places her face in front of yours. Her face is almost certainly demonic in nature.

She quickly moves down to your crotch... only to discover no organs down there.

*record scratch*

"Wait a fucking minute," the Succubus says, "Where's your dick?!"

As you state your genderless nature, the succubus hops off and from nowhere pulls out a large folder marked "Corruption of Champions-Script" and begins thumbing through the pages. After finding the page she is looking for, she reads it and looks off into the distance in disgust.

"Hey Fenoxo and Dxasmodeus!!!!!!" the Succubus crows, "The goddamn script says that I should be milking someone's DICK!!! Man, futa, herm, I don't give a shit. YOUR OWN FUCKING SCRIPT SAYS I SHOULD BE MOUNTING AND MILKING A COCK!!!! THIS IS A SEX GAME!!!!!! THAT MEANS FUCKING! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCK???!!!"

The Succubus looks at you with utter contempt, "THIS motherfucker doesn't have a DAMN thing! What am I supposed to do?! I can't exactly order a fucking Happy Meal!!!!!"

Throwing the script down in an utter rage, the tantrum continues, "Goddammit! I can't believe this shit! HEY!!!!! INTERN!!!! Bring me my robe, aspirins and cancer sticks!!!!"

The Succubus walks a few paces away where a plain-dressed woman with a clipboard hands the Succubus a pack of cigarettes and a small bottle of aspirin. She takes a fistful of the painkillers and immediately lights up a smoke. The Succubus takes a couple of drags off the cig and rubs her temples.

"You two are killing me!" she groans in clear frustration, "I come to work for you perverts based off the promise of MORE perverts to feed from and you do THIS to me! I can't work like this!"

The plain woman hands the Succubus a robe, which she crudely puts on as she storms off into the night.

"I will discuss this horseshit with my agent," the Succubus continues bitching, "THIS was NOT in my contract."

The Succubus stops, turns and points to you in derision. "And YOU! You no-cock, no-cunt having pissant! Take your ass back to the lab before they find out you escaped!!!!!"

The Succubus resumes her stormy exit. You look at the bottle of Cerulean Potion and wonder if it REALLY had some psychotropics in it. What the hell just happened?!




You see a massive, shambling form emerge from the underbrush. While first appearing to be a large shrub, it shifts its bulbous mass and reveals a collection of thorny tendrils and cephalopodic limbs. Sensing your presence, it lumbers at you, full speed, tentacles outstretched.

While you attempt to resist the abomination, its raw muscle mass is too much. It pins you to the ground easily. You feel slimy tentacles run up and down your groin as the creature searches for whatever gonads it expected you to have. When it realizes that you have neither penis nor vagina, it smartly casts you to the ground in apparent disgust.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!!" The creature speaks in an unnervingly human voice.

Completely confused, all you can do is sit there in shock.

"Where are your naughty bits, goddammit!" the creature bellows. "Us tentacle creatures need to FEED!"

You sheepishly state that you are gender-neutral and have no genitalia.

"You gotta be shitting me!!" the monster bellows in contempt. "Of all the motherfuckers I ambush, it has to be the ONE bastard I can't feed from! What am I supposed to do now, asshole?! I gotta eat!"At a loss for words, you meekly offer the creature some of your food you have packed for your journey. The creature slaps it out of your hand, almost breaking your wrist.

"I can't eat that shit!" roars the abomination. "Do I look like I have a fucking mouth to chew that with?! NOOOOOO! I feed off dicks and wayward women! Cum and tit milk! YOU have NEITHER!!!"  The beast slaps you squarely on the ass as if to push you along. "Get the fuck out of here!" it screams. "Get lost so I can hunt me a REAL meal!!!"You walk away from the creature, which hides back in the brush. After you trek a bit, you wonder if what happened really DID happen...