Night Rain: Chapter Five

Huh, they even put up the posters in my room. Thanks, Mom and Dad.
The room is pretty quaint, I suppose. 5 yellow walls and a small as anything bathroom. Wait. That's not a bathroom. It's just a fucking sink. LAME! Oh well, it’s mine. All mine. My little niche in the world. And I can’t stop thinking of him. Why. I came here to help get away from all that. It-

“UHHNNN!”
My stomach! It’s on fire. All I can do is double over in pain and hope to high heaven no one sees me like this. I’ll…I’ll just sleep it off. If only I can make it to my bed.
“NNNYYAAAGH!”
It hurts to crawl. Every inch feels like I’m tearing out a part of myself in the process. I wish I could say I was used to it by now. But no. Every. Damn. Time. It hurts anew. It hurts like him.
“WHY!”
I scream aloud to an uncaring God. He’s never answered before, so why would He answer now? As He delights in my suffering. It’s all just some sick joke to him. That’s all my life has ever been. A sick joke. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Well, maybe one or two.

There’s a knock at the door.
“W-who is it?”
I’ve had to try and cover up my episodes through speech before. It’s like grinning like that American Davy Crockett as demons roast your organs over the spit you are tied to with barbecue sticks. That fucking simple.
“It’s Ritsu. Are you alright? I heard some shouting in here?”
“Y-yeah, just looking for s-something dear to me. Don’t worry about me.”
Like anyone ever does worry about me. If only they knew. They’d laugh at me for being weak.
“Oh, ok. Let me know if you need any help.”

How dare you fucking mock me, Tanaka. Oh, that the gods would swarm your intestines with hordes of venomous snakes! Finally! I made it to the bed. Now is the damn hardest part: climbing in. I’m trying to push myself up, but they’re fighting me as hard to give out. My legs feel like weighs dragging me down, pinning me to the floor as they stay unresponsive.

“Ughhh.”
Looks like I’m sleeping on the floor tonight. I undress as best I can given the circumstances and pull my neatly folded blanket down from my bed. I’ve had enough of being people’s bitch for today. Hopefully I can fall asleep somehow.I look up at the clock. It’s midnight. I’ve spent two hours trying to fall asleep, but the pain never subsided. Maybe I’m not meant to sleep tonight.

Hell, I wouldn’t let myself sleep. But then again, I’ve always been my toughest critic. Let’s see if…NOPE! Still hurts like hell to move. It’ll get better by morning, at least. And I haven’t had to use the bathroom. Thank god for that. I don’t even know how that would work. Ah…ahhhhhhh the sweet release of sleep.

Looks like I’m having a dream tonight.
I’m being chased. I don’t know yet by what, but if I’m caught, I’m dead. That’s all I know. I move my legs as fast as they’ll let me. But it looks like I’m getting nowhere fast. I look down to see what the problem is. I’m running on human faces. Well, they might have been human. They’re eyeless, featureless heads. Looking deep into my soul. Judging me. I’m getting stuck in them like some thick paste. I want them to let me go. Let me be free. But no, they just keep swallowing me up like quicksand.
PLEASE
LET ME GO
PLEASE
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING
PLEASE HAVE A HEART!
Oh no.
There’s a chill up my spine. Whatever was chasing me has found me.
Behind me. In the doorway.
A dark shadowy figure. A familiar figure.
Him.
I try to move my legs aga-

“OW!”
Apparently I banged my leg on my bed in my sleep. At least the nightmare is over. For now.
At least I can move my legs. What time is it, anyway?
4:17
Fuck.
I get up and toss my blanket and pillow back on my bed as I finally get up. I’m so embarrassed I had to sleep on the floor because of one of my episodes. Might as well wash my face while I’m up.
Ow! Dumb nightstand. At least I found that. Oooh, there’s a nightlight in here. How do I look?
I look like hell. But that's to be expected at night, right?
My eyes are restless and my hair is a bedraggled mess.
My face reflects what I’ve been through.
I manage to splash my face a bit. There we go. Back to my old perky self.
At least now I can fake a smile for tomorrow.